TLM and children

[babochka]

Babes in arms will get fussy and should be taken out and calmed down - I give you that from the vantage point of having managed 11 children through the process. ** If the child is old enough to walk, he is old enough to understand the reverence due to scared nature of the miracle taking place on the altar.** However, my point is this needs to be taught and not necessarily just expected on your first visit to a TLM.

I would say that the child is old enough to begin to learn reverence by the time he’s old enough to walk, but really, that process begins before that, as he is brought to church and has the opportunity to see how others behave in church. Learning reverence is an ongoing process, which begins with the outer signs of reverence: genuflecting/bowing, kneeling quietly, folding hands, making the sign of the cross, bowing head, venerating icons and other religious items, etc. At the early stages, though, the child is just mimicking the actions of others. It is a beginning, but I don’t agree that the child is old enough to understand. In addition to teaching reverence, however, children need to develop sufficient impulse control, and that is going to vary dramatically from child to child. I have 5 children, ages 3-12. The 12 year old is always perfectly behaved in church, and pretty much has been since he was 3 years old. Ditto for the 3 year old and 5 year old. The 10 year old… she’s got problems with impulse control. She still, after 10 years of practice in church, will turn to me with a question in the middle of the consecration. Sometimes it is an appropriate question asked at an inappropriate time, sometimes it is way out there. My 7-year-old is autistic, so that’s an entirely different challenge. I thank God for those middle two children, as they are teaching me to be less judgmental about other parents’ struggles.

Also, it might not be that reverence hasn’t been taught, but issues with different church environments. We’re Byzantine rite, and the Divine Liturgy does not employ the silence of the Roman Rite. I don’t believe anyone would argue that the Divine Liturgy is less reverent than the TLM, but certainly there are different expectations. My children haven’t learned to kneel quietly because it is not a part of our liturgy. They don’t sit perfectly still because we are not in an environment in which the wiggles of kids are distracting. On the few occasions that I’ve taken them to a TLM, the lack of motion and constant chanting and familiar sights, along with the presence of sacred silence has been a bit disconcerting to them. Truth be told, it is disorienting to me as well. I have no doubt that they would adjust in time, but it does take time.

 

[Cojuanco]

I would imagine that it is cultural as well. I have a friend whose Mexican husband tells quite a tale about his childhood in Mexico, 50 years ago It involves Mass (Latin Mass), several of his cousins in the back of the church, and 3 chickens.

IIRC a certain Filipino comedian has a routine about being late for Mass, and how his mother in the pew in front of him could see his mucking about during the Credo.

 

[babochka]

IIRC a certain Filipino comedian has a routine about being late for Mass, and how his mother in the pew in front of him could see his mucking about during the Credo.

Late for Mass? I didn’t know such a thing was possible on island time.

 

[Pancras]

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There are all kinds of people and all kinds of priests. I have seen some priests say you should offer it up when a child distracts you and just remember that you were once a noisy baby in church too.

I’ve seen another say “I have a big sign on my chest that says EASILY DISTRACTED so I hope I don’t have to start my sermon over again.”

Then another who said about a little boy crying loudly, “That boy shows signs of having a lot of energy. You know, priests need a lot of energy. This is one boy who might just grow up to be a priest. Children are always a blessing…” – and the funny part was, the boy stopped crying!
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