TLM Newbie

  • Thread starter Thread starter Pianofish
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
P

Pianofish

Guest
Greetings during this wonderful Advent season! My husband has agreed to attend Midnight mass with me this year. He has never been to the Latin mass before, and I’m trying to think of things I should tell him before we go so that he isn’t caught off guard. I don’t remember going to my first Latin mass, and I’m sure I can think of the big stuff, but I want to hear from others. What do you think is most helpful to know about the TLM before attending for the first time? Is there something someone told you or that you wish someone had told you before you attended? I’m going to lend him my missal for the mass and will give him a brief tutorial on how to navigate it before hand. That is, if he’s open to using it.

I should note that my husband is not a fan of the Church and his faith in God is wavering. He’s never been able to articulate to me why this is, but he is extremely condescending about anything regarding the faith. He is working on being less hostile toward Catholicism, but it’s taking time. He already thinks the TLM is weird (even though he’s never been) so I really want this to be a positive experience. Any thoughts, suggestions, and prayers are welcome. Thank you, and God bless!
 
If he’s not into the Mass at all, do you think the TLM might be a bit much for him?
Just thinking out loud. :hmmm: It’s one thing to enjoy it when you know what’s going on, (like yourself), but he might not be that receptive.
If it were me, I’d go to a Mass in English. That way, at least he’ll hear the prayers and maybe be moved.
But I’m sure the people will come out to say that nothing moves you like Latin…
Just be glad he’s willing to go. Baby steps.
Here’s praying that the Holy Spirit speaks to him on this holy night.
 
i still remember my first Latin Mass.🙂
I prepared for my visit much as you are doing, by getting a hand missal and marking all the readings- and I still got left in the dust.😃
At the end of Mass, I had no doubt that I had just experienced something amazing and that I wanted to go back. 👍
If your husband has a contemplative approach to his faith, the Mass will give him so many choices.
He might just want to focus on one aspect of the Mass-perhaps the language of one of the prayers.
Or, he might want to focus on joining his own prayers with those of the Church. Perhaps the music will call him in a special way.
The Mass offers so much that trying to get everything, all at once, can be overwhelming. It’s o.k. to choose one aspect for focus at a time.
May God bless him.
Amen.
 
A lot will depend on whether it will be a Low, High or Solemn High Mass. If the latter; I would recommend just give him the very basics (kneel, stand, sit) and tell him to just soak it all in.

I was totally “blown away” with my first Solemn High Mass.

We no longer attend the local parish preferring to drive 80 miles each way for a Low Mass in the EF. Its a young parish and working towards a High Mass.

Merry Christmas and God Bless.
 
Pianofish, I would suggest that you just bring him and let him be. Just let him sit there. The beauty and majesty of that Mass may do for him what you will never be able to do.

Ask Our Blessed Mother right now to take over. Ask Her to touch your husband’s heart and mind while he is at Holy Mass.

I will say a prayer for you as well. God bless you, and please let us know what happens. I will be anxious to hear.
 
Lormar said:
Pianofish, I would suggest that you just bring him and let him be. Just let him sit there. The beauty and majesty of that Mass may do for him what you will never be able to do.

Ask Our Blessed Mother right now to take over. Ask Her to touch your husband’s heart and mind while he is at Holy Mass.
Click to expand...
+1

I would also suggest buying this book…

newliturgicalmovement.org/2014/11/review-of-treasure-and-tradition.html

Too late to for his first TLM but will help you answer any questions later on.
 
I went to my first couple of EF Masses by myself and so had no one to explain to me that the choir and the priest are not always “in sync”. That was without a doubt the most confusing part of trying to follow along with a missal.
 
pianistclare said:
If he’s not into the Mass at all, do you think the TLM might be a bit much for him?
Click to expand...
I should’ve clarified that he was born and raised Catholic and has fallen away. He is used to the English mass but has never been to the TLM. And, he’s been to the novus ordo with me at my parish where they celebrate it ad orientem, which is also different than what he grew up with. We very well might find that the TLM is too much for him, however, he offered to go (his exact words were that he would never let me go to Christmas mass by myself!) so at least he knows beforehand that it will likely be over his head 🙂
 
jeannetherese said:
He might just want to focus on one aspect of the Mass-perhaps the language of one of the prayers.
Or, he might want to focus on joining his own prayers with those of the Church. Perhaps the music will call him in a special way.
The Mass offers so much that trying to get everything, all at once, can be overwhelming. It’s o.k. to choose one aspect for focus at a time.
May God bless him.
Amen.
Click to expand...
Yes! Thank you for this! Sometimes I’m still overwhelmed by the TLM and do just this when I’m in mass. I didn’t think to suggest this to him. This is a great idea!
 
Lormar said:
Pianofish, I would suggest that you just bring him and let him be. Just let him sit there. The beauty and majesty of that Mass may do for him what you will never be able to do.

Ask Our Blessed Mother right now to take over. Ask Her to touch your husband’s heart and mind while he is at Holy Mass.

I will say a prayer for you as well. God bless you, and please let us know what happens. I will be anxious to hear.
Click to expand...
Thank you for the prayer! And, you’re right, he very well might get what he needs by just sitting, listening, and observing. And, knowing him, he may prefer this over following along in the missal. I’m still going to offer him my missal but will also let him know it’s ok to just sit and observe. And, if that’s what he chooses, I’ll do the same along with him. I actually just started a Rosary novena yesterday. Too late for Christmas, but, it will be done the just before Lent begins. And, of course, it’s still possible that my intentions will be granted by Christmas. I will continue to pray and put my trust in God. I will report back how midnight mass goes for us!
 
Brandon_Cal said:
I went to my first couple of EF Masses by myself and so had no one to explain to me that the choir and the priest are not always “in sync”. That was without a doubt the most confusing part of trying to follow along with a missal.
Click to expand...
Excellent observation! 👍 I was a music performance major in college and in music history courses I spent a great amount of time studying sacred music. At that time I wasn’t regularly attending the TLM so I didn’t understand how it all “fit” together. Once I started attending the TLM I was still confused even though I had known all about how the mass was set up from my studies in music history! Often times I am still fooled by the choir. If my husband chooses to follow along in a missal I will make him aware of this.
 
Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts and suggestions! They are all so thoughtful and helpful. I will post back to let you know how it goes! If anyone else has suggestions, please, continue to post!
 
I love the Traditional Latin Mass
I love the Ordinary Mass.

My husband does not care for the Traditional Latin Mass.
Both Masses are equal in the sight of God.

I see no problem. We will always go to Mass together and I will go where he wants to go.
 
In case anyone is interested, here is an update. We attended TLM together and he later shared with me that he finds himself incredibly angry during mass. During mass he was respectful, followed along, and made no indication that he was feeling this way. Although this isn’t an obvious “Christmas miracle” it might be a miracle in its own way. We haven’t gotten to the bottom of his anger, but now that it’s come up I know we can work on it. He is also still willing to go to mass with me, and is respectful and understanding of the fact that it’s so important to me. I’ll keep praying and living the Catholic faith, and continue to put my trust in God that my husband will eventually return to the faith.
 
Cider said:
I just wanted to post that I ordered this book and it already arrived. What a beautiful book. I can’t wait to read it cover to cover.
Click to expand...
My copy just arrived today. I’m getting ready to sack out and read this book for a while.

What I’ve seen of it is magnificent. 👍 😃
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top