I was a lapsed catholic for quite a few years.
I partied a LOT, drank a lot, didnt do hard drugs however.
In the early 00’s, i went through a stage of having an affair with a married man which ended up with me becoming pregnant.
He begged me to have an abortion so i did, after that, i hit rock bottom. I began to have panic attacks, i almost got to the point i was agroaphobia.
It was at this point, i new i believed in God all these years, i was just never serious about it, it was sort of always something in the back of my head.
So at my lowest point, i started to pray, pray and pray big time!
I got the guts to finally go to church one day, but i lapsed into a panic attack everytime i got there, but one day, i noticed a pamphlet down the back of the church about abortion, and a retreat that helps people deal with it. I picked it up and read it, it was project rachel.
Well soon after that, i went home, had a full blown panic attack and was admitted to hospital, it was at this stage one of the doctors gave me advice to seek councilling through the hospital, so i did, that was step one to my recovery. I then rang and enquired about project rachel, i booked myself in, got myself there. And mind you, everywhere i went, i had massive panic attacks, on my way there, nothing… God’s miracles was starting for me in a BIG way.
I went there, and after that weekend, i swore i would not do anything wrong again and worship Jesus and do his works. That one weekend changed my life forever, and it made me believe i was not alone and most of all, i was forgiven.
I am still ashamed of what i did, i hold onto that shame so i know i wont make those mistakes again, but i know God has forgiven me, thanks to Jesus, and that feeling inside, well words cant describe really.
I like to tell my story so people will know that Jesus does love and care for you, and he forgives you for the worst of sins. But most of all, how he loves us and will do anything to help us if we just ask him!
God bless
Dolphinlove