To ask or not to ask....

[jc413]

It totally depends on who they are. My hubby asked my father and my step-father (they both played active roles in raising me) but if neither one of them were believers, or if they had had ulterior motives, I would not have expected him to ask for my hand.

It’s a gesture of respect, not a necessity, but I know both my “dads” have a lot of respect for my husband, and I know this started them all out on the right foot.

 

[santana]

I completely argee with **Auberon Quin, **never ask her/his parents. Can it actually change your decission to marry a beloved girl? If yes, you are marrying not the girl but your fear of looking bad in the others’ eyes. Of course, older people have more experience, but with that they can be lead by jealousy, oun sexual preferences, racial and finance requests about your bride etc. So if you want to live your own life, don’t allow people - parents or anybody else - interfere with your own decisions. Otherwise you will blame them for the rest of your life, and will be wrong, because the only one to blame will ye you. I consider asking the permission only if it is 100% formal to both the parts - you and her parents.

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charity-fund.org

 

[SwissGuard]

I will ask for my future fiancee’s hand in marriage, but even if her parents were opposed to it for some reason (highly unlikely)…It comes down to our decision.

People are (usually) adults when they get married…they can make the decision with or without the blessings of the family. It just makes it that much easier when you get the blessings.

I also think it’s something that should be done out of respect, but definitely not a necessity.

 

[juno24]

I voted other, because I believe if the parents say no, you need to find out why. They may have very solid reasons for not wanting their daughter to marry you. My best friend’s nephew is getting married in about 6 months, and he did ask the girl’s father. He said no. The young man had a good talk with the father about why he said no, and it turned out there were some issues that the father was not certain the young man could meet (or had not so far been able to). The young man took it to heart, and set about changing his situation so that he could prove to the father that he could indeed take care of the daughter. After doing what needed to be done to show that he could provide for the girl and take care of her and any potential children, the young man again went to the father and asked for her hand again. This time the father said yes. My friend’s nephew had enough respect for his intended and her father not to simply go ahead with it anyway; and enough love and sense of commitment not to just give up on the whole thing.