To atheists--was there a time that you DID believe?

[whatevergirl]

Two of my sister in laws are self-proclaimed atheists. They grew up in the same Catholic household as my husband did…and about 15 years ago, they just decided that they didn’t believe anything that the Catholic Church has to say regarding salvation, and really sometimes struggle believing that there is a God. My dh’s one sister who proclaims this, teeters back and forth with her beliefs, but it got me to thinking last night about why people abandon faith in God. Are most atheists brought up in religious families, and then abandon the belief system they were taught, or did they never believe to begin with, and just went through the motions to satisfy their families?

Curious–to the atheists here–did you ever believe? If so, what caused you to stop believing that God exists?

Look forward to a positive and informative discussion. (and charitable )

 

[cheddarsox]

There is not a clear cut answer for me, I will explain and hope that it will help you understand.

I was raised Catholic. I accepted Catholicism as truth as a young child. It was all I knew, my entire family and extended family was Catholic and the only children I was allowed to play with in the neighborhood were Catholic. So, it was what everyone believed.

I have always been very spiritual, and as a young child I sensed something around me. I had a relationship with this something. I didn’t think to identify it, it was as constant and real as the sunshine and the air I breathed. I didn’t talk about it with others, I didn’t have the language for it. It was a truth I lived along side practicing Catholicism.

When I was in primary school, and learning more about the faith in religion classes, I truly thought that the stories and teachings were fairy tales. They taught important lessons, but were not literal truth. One day when I was 8 or 9 I mentioned that to some family members and they got very upset and angry, telling me that those things were absolutely and totally reality and truth, NOT just stories to teach lessons.

I was shocked, because while I saw the value of the lessons, the disciplines, etc. they in no way matched my experience of reality.

A few years later, when preparing for confirmation and studying the Catechism, the gap grew even greater for me. I was told that I needed to be willing to die defending those truths, and I was not. But there was no way to “just say no” to confirmation. I was in the eighth grade class, and that was when you got confirmed, and they didn’t listen to “problems” or objections. They told you to pray harder, go to confession and get over it.

I continued to practice Catholicism, because it is a fine religion, with excellent morality and spiritual disciplines, but it bothered me that I had been forced into confirmation, and I still did not believe the teachings to be literal truths.

I married a non-Catholic, and during marriage preparation we spoke to the priest who would witness the ceremony. My fiance said he was fine with the children being raised Catholic, but I told the priest I knew I would NOT raise my children in the faith, because I didn’t believe it to be true. He said if I didn’t sign the paper promising to raise my children in the faith, I could not be married in the church. I said that was fine and prepared to leave.
He said, " just sign the paper and make your mother happy."

I repeated that I was not raising my children Catholic, he said he didn’t care. So I signed the paper.

In my mid twenties, I began to practice what I knew, that relationship with “something”, as my religion. Years later I came to know it is called pantheism and that there are many others who believe and practice it as well.

I do not believe in the Catholic god, or a personal god of any kind. So, technically I am an atheist. Some people felt I lost my faith, but Catholicism was more of a spiritual discipline for me than a faith. I liked it, but I never truly believed it.

I was a very devout practicing Catholic, if not a believing one. I even seriously considered becoming a nun, because I see value in that form of life and service.

I had a very rough childhood. I think many people don’t believe in a personal god, because the knocks of life and life experience often don’t mesh with such a belief. Maybe, because I had such a childhood, that just happened to me earlier. I had to face some harsh realities from day one, rather then when I hit my twenties or thirties.

But I do distinctly recall, when a very young child, at funerals of relatives when the grown ups would say we’d see the person in heaven someday, thinking that was just a story they told the kids to make them feel better. Not imagining that anyone believed it, not imagining that a grown up would think such a silly thing were true.

I seem to have never truly believed from the beginning. It just did not match the life I experienced at all.

 

[asukuuru]

I was born catholic and raised catholic. My entire family has always been very catholic. My grandparents believe in Catholicism and everything it entails. However, around the time i turned 13 years old i began to lose my faith.

I was born and grew up outside the US, soon after my 14th birthday, i lost my closest friend to an accident. It was tough but i believe in accidents and coincidences. Soon after that, my mother was diagnosed with a rare disease that almost caused her, her life. about a year after that my uncle was kidnapped for 5 months, and then after 5 months, his skeleton appeared in some field with severe head trauma. from there on, my sister almost died soon after that, because of renal failure, that luckly, since my dad is a doctor. he noticed something was wrong and we were able to get her to a hospital on time. I was forced out of my country, had to sacrifice my family, my friends, and every acquaintance i ever had, everything i ever knew to move. Could not tell anyone about it, i just had to dissapear. I lost everything, my family lost everything

Through all of this i did nothing but wonder, why would god allow for all of these things to happen to such believers. My family follows doctrine very closely, they have donated land and money to build churches in very rural areas, as well as financed many young priests so that they can go to europe to study. My grandparents dedicated their lives to the church. 84 years of dedication in every way they can. and all that my grandfather has to show for it now is the fact that he has lost almost all body movement, cant speak but is still concious, his mind is still fine, except that he cant use it to communicate with other. A man who lived for his family, loved to travel, tell stories and share time with his family had everything, everything taken away from him. and yet, he has not been given the rest he deserves.

After that i realized that if there is a “God” it doesnt matter to me, whether he exists or not doesnt affect my life what so ever. If god does exist, i dont believe that he is watching over me, i dont believe he is protectinig me. I dont live for anyone else’s glory, i dont worship anyone else. im a good person, i protect the people i care about and help who i can. not because some mythological creature asks me to do it, but because i decided it was the right thing to do.
I have seen man’s inhumanity towards man. and the only conclusion i can draw from that is that, if there truly is a god. then he is not all powerful and if he is, he is far from perfect, because he created human, the biggest mistake in my book that anyone could ever have done.

You can say that the good things that happen in your life are because of god’s good grace, or because he is watching over you. or you could also look at it as there are 2 ways things can usually go, they either benefit you to an extent or they dont. they have to happen one of the two ways. so statistically speaking there will be good events and bad events in your life. regardless of wether there is a god or not. Some people might say, its a miracle that my mother survived all those years ago, it was a miracle that her platelets began working once more. i dont see it that way at all. because if you admit as to some force removing the disease when there was no medical reasoning behind it. you also have to admit to a force giving her a disease that had only been diagnosed to 7 people in the US without medical reason. My father might have survived the car accident he had a few years back because of a miracle. but on the other hand, if there had never been an accident. then he would never had been close to death to begin with. Every opportunity for a miracle has a preceding event, that if it had not happened, then there would never have been a need for a miracle.

I see god more of a matter of convenience. Everyone needs something to believe in, its human nature. man kind tries to explain what it doesnt understand. i find it more viable to assume that god put a spark of life if you so choose to believe on earth. and from there evolution took over. after that he assumed a roll of simply observance. if there is a god. He doesnt exists to be worshiped, because someone that demands others worship in one way or another, is simply a god i will choose not to follow. People follow god out of fear. fear of damnation and hope for salvation, thats the only reason most people follow god.

Based on my life, the pain i have seen and the pain i have suffered. if there is a god that allows that pain to happen. then i cant believe in his all incompasing power. nor that he is absolutely pure and everything that is good in the world.

 

[AirLiner]

Based on my life, the pain i have seen and the pain i have suffered. if there is a god that allows that pain to happen. then i cant believe in his all incompasing power. nor that he is absolutely pure and everything that is good in the world.

You seem to understand that alot of that pain is caused by humanity and then you say that it was a mistake for God to create humans. That is not true. People have alot of potential to do evil but they also have alot of potential to be good. We had a chance to live in a perfect world but we sinned and corrupted it, but there is potential for us to go back to that perfect world. Humanity has alot of potential to do good. You really shouldn’t consider people a mistake. Could anyone help me out here on explaining this?

 

[rick43235]

Curious–to the atheists here–did you ever believe? If so, what caused you to stop believing that God exists?

I asked an atheist friend this exact question just a few days ago. His response: “Sure I used to believe in God. I used to believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy too.”

 

[whatevergirl]

I asked an atheist friend this exact question just a few days ago. His response: “Sure I used to believe in God. I used to believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy too.”

that’s so sad

To everyone–thank you for your replies. I have always been curious about this…how someone goes from belief to no belief…or did he/she never have a belief to begin with? 'm sleepy now, but will respond more tomorrow.

 

[Laurent_LUG]

people abandon faith in. Are most atheists brought up in religious families, and then abandon the belief system they were taught, or did they never believe to begin with, and just went through the motions to satisfy their families?

Curious–to the atheists here–did you ever believe? If so, what caused you to stop believing

Talking about abandonation:
I simply never abandoned !!

I was never catholic or a (another) religion believer , my parents did this !!

The day they let me go on my own ,
I never went to church anymore !!
I was old enough to made my own decisions !!

A couple of years ago I left catholicism by deregistration !!
I also disagree on a lot things what the pope says !!
So , for me was this was the best thing I could do !!
So , why I do visite this board ??

The problem I’ve with some believers ,
they can’t , ermmmm , will not accept my decision !!
OK fine , for them have it your way !!
But wurse , some of them they condemn you for this , with what right !?!?
I don’t mind you believe , attend church every day or whatever !!
You know , I disrespect people who are fuzzing atheists ,
non believers or whatever , just because of that !!

Salute & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:
– Laurent LUG (.@…), august 21, 2008

 

[whatevergirl]

Talking about abandonation:
I simply never abandoned !!

I was never catholic or a (another) religion believer , my parents did this !!

The day they let me go on my own ,
I never went to church anymore !!
I was old enough to made my own decisions !!

A couple of years ago I left catholicism by deregistration !!
I also disagree on a lot things what the pope says !!
So , for me was this was the best thing I could do !!
So , why I do visite this board ??

The problem I’ve with some believers ,
they can’t , ermmmm , will not accept my decision !!
OK fine , for them have it your way !!
But wurse , some of them they condemn you for this , with what right !?!?
I don’t mind you believe , attend church every day or whatever !!
You know , I disrespect people who are fuzzing atheists ,
non believers or whatever , just because of that !!

Salute & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:
– Laurent LUG (.@…), august 21, 2008

Hi Laurent–thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut. It’s not that we as believers can’t accept your decision, we feel called to help you know Christ. God calls us to do this, it’s not out of ourselves, that that is born. Sometimes, people have misconceptions of Christianty…and stay away from the Church, largely due to mere misconceptions.

So…why do you visit this board? lol Do you ever feel an emptiness…or would you say that without God, you have a very complete life?

 

[tommiatkins]

Naturally there was a time I beleived. A child beleives what Adults tell them. I was also scared not to beleive after reading the punishments awaiting. No child on the planet, even the children of atheists has the option of non-beleif. Its in your face every schoolday.

I stopped beleiving around the same time I worked out Santa was false. Since Santa offered no punishment for disbeleif,it wasnt too hard.
However i carried on being fearful of God into my late twenties. More shame on me, since I like to think I have some intelligence, but acceptable i suppose in that religion is very ingrained from childhood.

What finally broke the chains? Reading the Bible.

 

[1holycatholic]

I asked an atheist friend this exact question just a few days ago. His response: “Sure I used to believe in God. I used to believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy too.”

I’m not an atheist, but I never believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy.

I believed my mother was lying to me about them.

I was right.

 

[tommiatkins]

I’m not an atheist, but I never believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy.

I believed my mother was lying to me about them.

I was right.

Evry time you deny a fairy they die!

Equally true for all Gods. The day the last worshipper of Wotan denied him, he became no more.

 

[whatevergirl]

Naturally there was a time I beleived. A child beleives what Adults tell them. I was also scared not to beleive after reading the punishments awaiting. No child on the planet, even the children of atheists has the option of non-beleif. Its in your face every schoolday.

I stopped beleiving around the same time I worked out Santa was false. Since Santa offered no punishment for disbeleif,it wasnt too hard.
However i carried on being fearful of God into my late twenties. More shame on me, since I like to think I have some intelligence, but acceptable i suppose in that religion is very ingrained from childhood.

What finally broke the chains? Reading the Bible.

Hello–what do you mean by your last statement? You believed in God, until you read the Bible? (that doesn’t make sense lol) Or are you talking about Catholicism–you stopped believing in the teachings of the Church, once you read the Bible? Sorry…I’m just trying to make sure I’m understanding…

 

[Laurent_LUG]

calls us to do this, it’s not out of ourselves, that that is born. Sometimes, people have misconceptions of Christianty…and stay away from the Church, largely due to mere misconceptions.

The colored sentence: The problem I always see !!

I stay away from churches & religion because it does not belong to me !!

Did you even know:
Sometimes people have misconceptions of atheism or even non believing !!

Do you ever feel an emptiness…

you have a very complete life?

Yes , I have , this is the way I feel ,
this is the way I want , this is my life

People who believe , did / do they ever questioning themselves
how life would be without religion or without their believe ??

So…why do you visit this board? lol

Indeed , a good question
Even I really like/love to be alone , it’s true ,
I’m still looking contact with people all kinds ,
because a good discussion is always interesting ,
especially about things which I disagree !!

Salute & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:
– Laurent LUG (.@…), august 22, 2008

 

[tommiatkins]

Hello–what do you mean by your last statement? You believed in God, until you read the Bible? (that doesn’t make sense lol) Or are you talking about Catholicism–you stopped believing in the teachings of the Church, once you read the Bible? Sorry…I’m just trying to make sure I’m understanding…

Yes i stopped beleiving in God when I read the Bible.

I was brought up simply beleiving a few things.

1. Jesus loved me
2. God created the world
3. Jesus was Gods “son” (no explaination how that worked)
   4)God has CCTV footage of your every thought and hell is a place people who rack him off go

After reading the Bible as an adult for the first time, the stories that merely frightened me as a kid became obviously the work of man and crazed vicious deluded men at that. Nothing to fear anymore, no heaven or hell, simply one life to live as best we can.

If God existed, i’d thank him for the bible for clarifying his unreality.

 

[MrWhy]

My family were Baptist, but rarely went to church. This caused me to be indifferent (not indoctrinated). In early teen years I attended a few Sundays with the family of a friend, and actually went through the emotional “saving” process. This “saving” did not take very well though. Looking back I can see it was the results of an environment that made a strong emotional appeal to individuals that someone thought was ready or needed “saving”. There was the music with the congregation all singing, then a couple of the family members along with the preacher pleading for me to come down and be saved. Considering how emotional humans are, and that many are distressed at any one time, it’s not surprising that these services have the effect they do.

In the later teen years a very skeptical attitude beging to surface. An attitude that questioned everything. Then the skepticism found a partner in logic and analysis.

During many years as a systems analyst I developed some skill at decomposing complex questions into simple pivotal issues that facilitated decision making.

In this environment, the creator god idea has degraded to a position that’s difficult to describe.

 

[notsmart]

Being raised by atheists, I never went from a belief to a non belief.
I just never thought it important to. I also was turned off by the bible. Now, I can simply ignore a lot of it and write off a lot of the scary passages as merely symbolic, or possibly some of the writers were conveying a poetic message that would have made more sense to the people of that time period. I still don’t like many parts of the OT. The NT is a lot more palatable, but there is still the problem that the bible never addresses salvation for those who were not Jewish or Christian. Buhddism must have not been important to discuss for the inspired writers. Pagans got a lot of attention in the bible though.
So, its a plus to choose the Catholic faith because its deeper theology allows for God to not be limited TO what is written in the bible.
But, there were a lot of other reasons why I felt there was no compelling reason to become a christian also.
Namely, they were not in any way more trustworthy, reliable, more honest, more loving, or anything else in my personal experience. Let alone really believing everything they claimed to, knowing it properly, or practicing it as they said it ought to be.

So, that’s my reason for why I never had a desire to believe for most of my life up to recently.

I wonder if somewhere in me I did have a corner of belief I did not see for me to be open to God now. I like to think that anyway.

 

[RedSoxFan]

I just wanted to say thank you to all the atheists who took the time to write in. I’m amazed by all the responses.

I hope that you find what you are looking for because I think many of you are looking for something. (presumedly more than just how to deal with us thiests). Either way good luck!

 

[whatevergirl]

The colored sentence: The problem I always see !!

I stay away from churches & religion because it does not belong to me !!

Did you even know:
Sometimes people have misconceptions of atheism or even non believing !!

Yes , I have , this is the way I feel ,
this is the way I want , this is my life

People who believe , did / do they ever questioning themselves
how life would be without religion or without their believe ??

Indeed , a good question
Even I really like/love to be alone , it’s true ,
I’m still looking contact with people all kinds ,
because a good discussion is always interesting ,
especially about things which I disagree !!

Salute & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:
– Laurent LUG (.@…), august 22, 2008

hi laurent…i like your use of exclamation points! i can almost hear the passion behind your words. lol

I would say that without God, my life would be very empty. I pushed God out of my life many times…even though I was raised a cradle Catholic. I saw what my life looked like without God, and what it looks like now with Him…and it’s a much brighter picture. I think that without God, as we can see from our culture (the US anyways) pushing Him out of the main picture, is that our society is not better off…it’s worse. If we don’t believe in a Creator, it is only human nature to feel like we are gods in and of ourselves. No, no one is worshipping people, but people tend to put ‘things’ into the rightful place of where our Creator belongs. Subjective morality is never good for society…anarchy is born out of that type of subjective reality, I think.

Just my two cents. Not trying to pull you over to my way of thinking, but to another way of thinking.

 

[Aleii]

Long story short, I grew up devout Catholic. A series of life events and inter-faith studies led me to delve into Catholicism for the purpose of strengthening my faith. During this period, I realized I had major conflicts with basic tenants of Catholicism. These included validity of the Bible, issues with omnimax God’s “intervention”, and faith + good works = heaven, as I don’t regard faith as a choice, no matter how much one may want it or do the correct things to get it (retreats, adoration, etc), also structural similarities of religions in general. Eventually I realized that continuing to call myself Catholic would be a lie, as agnostic/weak atheist is more correct.

Its been an agonizing journey to lose my faith, but I have to follow what I think is the truth. All I can do is be the best person I can. Its been about 13 years now since the start of all that, and its been only recently that I’m starting to have some peace with all of this.

 

[Laurent_LUG]

hi laurent…i like your use of exclamation points! i can almost hear the passion behind your words. lol

You know , I’ve got style

Just my two cents. Not trying to pull you over to my way of thinking, but to another way of thinking.

And still , That’s what many believers have try to do ,
but none of them can convert me
Actually , it doesn’t matter
Talking , yes of course , changing ideas , that’s good !!

I’ll never try to push someone my way life ,
plz , don’t do , just be yourself

Why do mankind exist ??