To couples who practice NFP

[manualman]

Rico,

Would you be so kind as to answer all the questions? I’m curious if there are patterns to couples that struggled with NFP that could be recognized and studied to avoid such problems in other couples.

 

[samcarter14]

So if you don’t mind I’d like some (name removed by moderator)ut-

1. What method of NFP do you use?
   Marquette model.
2. How long have you been using it?
   10 years, as long as we’ve been married.
3. How effective has it been for you when used to avoid pregnancy?
   100% effective for both avoiding and achieving pregnancy.
4. What problems/issues have you had with it?
   **The only issue we had was when attempting to concieve our second. I think I was too focused on when I was ovulating, rather than just letting go and letting God decide! **
5. Have you switched to NFP from previously using artificial contraception? Was the decision mutual or did the switch cause tension in your relationship?
   Never used artificial birth control. Decision to use NFP was completely mutual.
6. Is your spouse on the same page as you regarding NFP, so to speak? If they initially were not, how did they come around? If they initially were and now are not, why?

**Both on the same page. DH says he was so happy to meet a Catholic woman who was “willing”, as he put it, to use NFP! **

1. How has using NFP positively or negatively impacted your marriage?
   Only positive impact here.
   Thank you for sharing your experience.

 

[Rico_S]

I’m curious if there are patterns to couples that struggled with NFP that could be recognized and studied to avoid such problems in other couples.

It will be hard to identify a trend on my lone data point.

–Rico

 

[manualman]

It will be hard to identify a trend on my lone data point.

–Rico

Except that the issue isn’t limited to this thread, and people are often more willing to share details in PMs than in public posts. In my experience, OBGYNs know almost nothing about NFP and are uninterested in exerting themselves to help couples resolve atypical fertility symptoms. I’m just curious to hear if those who had trouble had any support from the medical profession, what method they used, if they thought signs were clear and got pregnant anyways or …

Lots of people DO have trouble living out NFP and I can’t help but think that the problem is one of disinterest on the part of the medical profession moreso than any science-defying mystical properties of the female body. But that’s just a hypothesis on my part and I’m keen to hear stories that may support it or discredit it.

 

[maryjk]

So if you don’t mind I’d like some (name removed by moderator)ut-

1. What method of NFP do you use?
   STM
2. How long have you been using it?
   5 years
3. How effective has it been for you when used to avoid pregnancy?100%, using to avoid
4. What problems/issues have you had with it?It seems that I am always fertile on any holiday, birthday and Anniversary. And I have my period for every trip and surgery.
5. Have you switched to NFP from previously using artificial contraception? Was the decision mutual or did the switch cause tension in your relationship?I switched from the pill. I didn’t like that I was in sin, he didn’t like that I wasn’t happy.
6. Is your spouse on the same page as you regarding NFP, so to speak? If they initially were not, how did they come around? If they initially were and now are not, why?He is not Catholic, but understands my motivation.
7. How has using NFP positively or negatively impacted your marriage?It is the same as it was. After reading posts here, I wonder how it impacts a marriage. My husband is just as loving as he always has been. We hold hands, sit together and generally act like newlyweds and we have since we got married.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

1. What method of NFP do you use?

Sympto-Thermal and Ecological Breastfeeding

1. How long have you been using it?

Started charting a year prior to marriage, in 2002; started nursing in January 2006.

1. How effective has it been for you when used to avoid pregnancy?

**100% effective to avoid (we used it to avoid for only 11 cycles), and even helped us achieve pregnancy with our first baby. **

1. What problems/issues have you had with it?

**We were not really being called to avoid after a few months into marriage, so we had problems abstaining during my “fertile” time. I use “fertile” in quotes because I experienced temporary infertility due to a luteal phase defect, which we diagnosed through charting.

After using it to help get pregnant (what a lesson in “letting go, and letting God,” I tell you), I don’t like using anything else besides breastfeeding for child spacing.**

1. Have you switched to NFP from previously using artificial contraception? Was the decision mutual or did the switch cause tension in your relationship?

**No, we have never used artificial contraception.

When we became engaged, we were both thrilled that NFP classes were being taught at our parish. Even before converting to the faith, I was very much against putting artificial hormones into my perfectly healthy body. We were virgins on our wedding night, so we didn’t worry about a pregnancy prior to exchanging vows.**

1. Is your spouse on the same page as you regarding NFP, so to speak? If they initially were not, how did they come around? If they initially were and now are not, why?

Actually, he would prefer to use NFP (charting), and I would prefer to use only breastfeeding. But the difference between our “old” NFP mentality and our “new” NFP attitude is that now, we will evaluate things on a cycle-by-cycle basis, and on a child-by-child basis, instead of saying, "Well, we’ll use NFP for ‘X’ amount of months and evaluate things then."

1. How has using NFP positively or negatively impacted your marriage?

**It’s hard to say, honestly, because it’s all we’ve known of married life. We are very happily married, though, and will celebrate our 6th anniversary later this year.

My favorite part of NFP was learning about how breastfeeding spaces babies. We’ve used breastfeeding-only since January 2006, and we had another baby born in January 2008. My fertility has not yet returned, and I am nursing both children.**

 

[Serap]

one thing I would add is that when I tell friends or my doctor that I’m using NFP, they tell me how risky it is and that I should consider birth control as a means to space children.

There is pretty much no support for NFP out there (outside of the CC).

btw…my GP doctor is Sicilian Catholic…so go figure…he wanted me to go on the pill until I was ready for another baby.

 

[Rico_S]

one thing I would add is that when I tell friends or my doctor that I’m using NFP, they tell me how risky it is and that I should consider birth control as a means to space children.

There is pretty much no support for NFP out there (outside of the CC).

If there is little support for NFP as a birth control method in the medical community (I have no idea if this is true), why is that? Do we write it off to ignorance and predispoisition to use more “modern” or familiar methods? Or, perhaps there is a general lack of confidence in the effectiveness of such a method given typical use?

-Rico

 

[Serap]

I just think our society has grown dependent on pharmaceuticals. we think that if we’re taking a pill…all will be good.

it’s the same with women and menopause…everyone thinks she needs to take a pill…all will be well if she takes that little magic pill.

 

[maryjk]

If there is little support for NFP as a birth control method in the medical community (I have no idea if this is true), why is that? Do we write it off to ignorance and predispoisition to use more “modern” or familiar methods? Or, perhaps there is a general lack of confidence in the effectiveness of such a method given typical use?

-Rico

I think it is because the medical community doesn’t like any treatment, cure or plan that doesn’t require repeat doctor appointments or medication.

When I was on the pill, I had an appointment every 6 months. When my doctor’s office tried to make an appointment for me every 6 months and I was using NFP, there was no reason they could say. There is nothing to hole over my head, no reason for me to pay for another appointment.

I have the same problem with my doctor and Celiac. Celiac is an autoimmune disease whose only treatment is a gluten free diet. Repeat blood tests and repeat biopsies are the only tests and the only reason for return doctor appointments. Recommended blood tests are every 6 to 12 months. My doctor wants to run the tests every 3 months, and wants to see me every 3 months as well.

So I really think it is a money issue. They can’t make money on NFP, and there is lots of money to be made with other methods.

 

[Em_in_FL]

So I really think it is a money issue. They can’t make money on NFP, and there is lots of money to be made with other methods.

I totally agree! Not to mention the pharmaceutical kickbacks from prescribing the pills!
NFP isn’t a money maker!

 

[Rico_S]

I think it is because the medical community doesn’t like any treatment, cure or plan that doesn’t require repeat doctor appointments or medication.

I just think our society has grown dependent on pharmaceuticals. we think that if we’re taking a pill…all will be good.

So I really think it is a money issue. They can’t make money on NFP, and there is lots of money to be made with other methods.

Interesting, I really didn’t think of it from this prospective. I can see how these may play into the equation…no profit without follow up visits and prescribed pills.

However, to completely dismiss the possibility that there is some sort of legitimate reason why doctors haven’t jumped on the NFP bandwagon is unwise. Surely the doctor’s with whom we so often trust our lives are not always making ignorant decisions…or decisions based on greed?

–Rico

 

[maryjk]

Interesting, I really didn’t think of it from this prospective. I can see how these may play into the equation…no profit without follow up visits and prescribed pills.

However, to completely dismiss the possibility that there is some sort of legitimate reason why doctors haven’t jumped on the NFP bandwagon is unwise. Surely the doctor’s with whom we so often trust our lives are not always making ignorant decisions…or decisions based on greed?

–Rico

I would agree with you except for some of the experiences that I have had.

Going for an annual check up with a new doctor. Telling new doctor that I use NFP, when he asks. Telling him that I have used it for 2/3/4 years. Him telling me that it is luck that I have not gotten pregnant. When I ask him if it is luck that his patients on the pill haven’t gotten pregnant, he says no, that’s medicine. That is a doctor that is making decisions based on greed. So is the doctor that automatically marks the 6 month follow up, even after talking to me about how NFP doesn’t work.

I also think it is based on generations of people coming to the doctors office wanting something when they walk out. We now have a problem with antibiotics because so many were taken for a “cold.”

Doctors have been trained to “fix” whatever is wrong. If there isn’t a pill or test or surgery, they feel a little lost.

 

[Serap]

I also think it is based on generations of people coming to the doctors office wanting something when they walk out. We now have a problem with antibiotics because so many were taken for a “cold.”

Doctors have been trained to “fix” whatever is wrong. If there isn’t a pill or test or surgery, they feel a little lost.

I tend to agree with this. My doctor told me that NFP is risky b/c many docs associate NFP with the rhythm method. Also, many couples don’t have the patience to go 10 days without love making. These couples will take risks on their possible fertile days.

 

[Em_in_FL]

However, to completely dismiss the possibility that there is some sort of legitimate reason why doctors haven’t jumped on the NFP bandwagon is unwise. Surely the doctor’s with whom we so often trust our lives are not always making ignorant decisions…or decisions based on greed?

–Rico

Lack of education!

They are NOT taught NFP in medical school! Many doctors still think it’s the old Rhythm Method and are completely uneducated on the subject! It’s fun recommending books to your doctor on subject matter pertaining to THEIR expertise!

 

[happymommy]

My dr, a non-Catholic, infact, I don’t even know if he’s a Christian, has fully supported our choice to use NFP and I have medical reason to take the pill, but choose not to. He has never pushed the issue with me. He knew what I was talking about, I was waiting for “it’s just the Rhythm method”, but he said, Billings, great. He asked me what all I was doing, temp. mucus, etc.We talked about it a little, he made a note on the chart that we use NFP and has never asked me about birth control again!! He doesn’t treat me differently now, we used birth control when first married, I’m sorry to say. But we didn’t know any better at the time. We are more educated now!!

 

[Lurgid]

My dr, a non-Catholic, infact, I don’t even know if he’s a Christian, has fully supported our choice to use NFP and I have medical reason to take the pill, but choose not to. He has never pushed the issue with me. He knew what I was talking about, I was waiting for “it’s just the Rhythm method”, but he said, Billings, great. He asked me what all I was doing, temp. mucus, etc.We talked about it a little, he made a note on the chart that we use NFP and has never asked me about birth control again!! He doesn’t treat me differently now, we used birth control when first married, I’m sorry to say. But we didn’t know any better at the time. We are more educated now!!

How does one make the leap from using ABC to NFP? Also, how can I convince my wife that NFP is the right choice. She’s currently in RCIA. We also don’t have the money or time to attend classes for it, though.

 

[armywife]

Billings has all their info online, so you could learn there. It is best to see an instructor, and I saw one in college and they very nicely just took what I could pay at the time.

On the other topic, I think it’s amazing that doc’s aren’t taught anything during med school relating to NFP. One of my doctor’s was willing to listen, but he had no clue. I was trying not to be rude, but I wanted to say, “you do know that women can only get pregnant a certain number of days a month and there are natural signs for that time” It seems like it would be basic knowledge for an OB/GYN,

 

[3GirlsRUs]

So if you don’t mind I’d like some (name removed by moderator)ut-

1. What method of NFP do you use?
   Sympto-Thermal Method (taught by CCL)
2. How long have you been using it?
   7.5 years
3. How effective has it been for you when used to avoid pregnancy?
   100%
4. What problems/issues have you had with it?
   Until we figured out that I have PCOS and some ways to deal with THAT…we had longer than normal periods of abstinence. But once that was figured out, no problems.
5. Have you switched to NFP from previously using artificial contraception? Was the decision mutual or did the switch cause tension in your relationship?
   Before our first daughter, we used ABC. The decision was mutual and there was no tension … especially after the first class with CCL when we learned that ABC is abortifacient…we realized we never wanted to use that again.
6. Is your spouse on the same page as you regarding NFP, so to speak? If they initially were not, how did they come around? If they initially were and now are not, why?
   Yes. At first, my DH was skeptical, but after a few months where we were able to be intimate and he saw that it “worked” he was as supportive (if not more) than I had been. And now, if I were to lose my faith in the method, I could count on him to be as strong about it as I was in the beginning.
7. How has using NFP positively or negatively impacted your marriage?
   **It has not had anything negative that I can think of. Positively, it has helped us to be open to more children. Before we had our first, we both were of the mindset that 2 kids was all we would probably want to have. Our mindset is different now, and we are more of a mind to discern what God wants for us and not what we think we want for ourselves.

Also, it has brought us closer together and closer to our Faith. We were probably just lukewarm Catholics before we had our first daughter and then learned NFP. I’m not saying we are now the most faithful Catholics out there or anything…but we are much more happy and strive to be faithful Catholics and raise our children that way.**

Thank you for sharing your experience.

 

[Serap]

How does one make the leap from using ABC to NFP? Also, how can I convince my wife that NFP is the right choice. She’s currently in RCIA. We also don’t have the money or time to attend classes for it, though.

I would recommend that you begin a new thread for this. You will get a lot of responses and help from others who are using NFP.

I would begin by praying for your wife to open her heart to God’s will and NFP. Other’s on CAF know of some great web sites with NFP info.

Get a new thread going