To married Catholics who have never used contraception or NFP..?

[Sarabande]

One set of grandparents had 12 pregnancies, 10 were born, one died from pneumonia at the age of 2. They were very devout and were having children between the 1930s through the 1950s. I’m pretty sure they did not use birth control nor the Rhythm Method.

The other set of grandparents had 8 pregnancies, 6 were born and survived into adulthood. Grandmother was/is a devout Catholic. Grandfather a Protestant, but accepted and went along with Catholic teachings on birth control. They did use Rhythm Method, but it didn’t work very well. She got pregnant about every two to three years until she reached menopause.

 

[TomFromMD]

We used FAM for the last 12 or so years. In that time, for the three months in which we’ve had unprotected sex during ovulation (two of which were trying, and one of which was a “whoops” with no eggwhite in a really screwy cycle), we’ve had two children - both when trying. We’d have a quiver full for sure, if we had unprotected sex without regard to cycle.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

I used BCP’s and had a stroke at 19. I tried so many other forms thereafter. After dating the scariest man I ever could dream of, I became celebate for seven years praying fervently to God (to get away from scary man). Well, during these seven years, God recreated me. Around year five, scary man married a mail order bride and disappeared (hurray!)

In came my beloved husband who was a virgin. He was very on board withNFP. We have two daughters and are open to more. However, we are using NFP to let me get back to great health if we get blessed with another baby.

The more I learn about how he bCP works, the more I know the stroke was a blessing protecting me.

 

[Kelfa28]

I did use The Pill on and off (mostly off) over the course of 8 years before I converted to Catholicism. I hated the Pill. I thought it was such a sense of freedom and maturity when I got on it at age 20.
I very quickly realized how much I hated being on it…but I looked at it as a necessary evil.

Interestingly enough…the last time I made the decision to come off the pill…I never wanted to go back on it. I researched other methods and came across something called Fertility Awareness Method…or the secular version of NFP.

Long story short…I got engaged and hubby and I both converted before our wedding. We were pleasantly surprised to see that the Church approved of our planned method of spacing kiddos.

Learning the Church’s stance on Marriage and family planning was such a breath of fresh air for me. It was the very first thing I embraced and fell in love with the Church for (thought I get I’m very much in the minority for thinking this way).

We have one daughter and another on the way. I’ve used NFP to space and plan both kiddos. We are open to more…but we’ll have to wait and do some more spacing due to our rocky financial situation.

I will say this…God absolutely provides for the children he has blessed us with. Hubby has been laid off, unexpectedly, twice in a year. Every time he gets laid off he seems to find something new.
His new job was looking really rocky and sure enough, he was laid off after only being on for about 6 months of work.
But, I had found out I was pregnant, and he got an email from his supervisor in the military…notifying him that he could go back on orders in another few months.

This buys us at least another 1.5 years of steady employment…after that? We keep praying for another miracle.

 

[PennyinCanada]

Now FatherOfThirteen

In our first three years of marriage we were not christians, we still had our first three exactly 1 year apart (April 7th, 18th & 30th).

At that point, we became totaly open to life. No interuptus, artificial whatever. Although we were protestant (Plymouth Brethren) we discovered catholic theology, although at a very primitive level. 12 years later (very long story) we converted to the Catholic Church. When we came in, we had 8 children by that time. Since being catholic, we are now at 13, with two grandbabys. With that said, I would like to point out that we have never “tried” to have more, nor have we "tried’ not to have more. We have enjoyed the marital act as God intended it to be and have accepted every child as a gift from the Lord himself.

The first three, My oldest is married with the two kids, next my oldest daughter is a Sister in the Servants of the Lord and Our Lady of Matara (she’s with the Pope at world youth day now!), my next son, Jonathan David is a seminarian. The next daughter just graduated high school, everyone else, still at home.
Wouldn’t have it any other way.
God Bless,
FoT

Wow. What a wonderful witness you and your wife and family are! I am sure you are evangelizing just by your family sitting in the pews.
Thank you for coming on and telling that awesome story.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

…I would certainly caution any newbie to avoid the following approach: “put things in God’s hands” and then freaking out when health problems or other serious reasons arise and it looks like the couple is facing either prolonged total abstinence or danger to life and there’s been no track record of successful spacing with NFP. I strongly advise making some allowance for the unforeseen.

…

Likewise, there are a number of disabilities that will not be immediately obvious to new parents and it is actually not uncommon to wind up with multiple special needs children in a good-sized family. I would not encourage anybody to bet on every one of their children being at least physically and mentally average.

If you put things in God’s hands, there is no need to freak out with what you receive. If you end up having to avoid pregnancy at one point, even for the rest of your marriage, so be it, and ask Him to help you with that as well. I think there is one thing missing from above, trust in Him. I am not saying we should go and try to have children when we have discerned we clearly need to avoid, but I don’t think we need to go around avoiding just in case, just to make allowance, just to practice, etc. I know several families that are large that have children with disabilities, and I think that God really knew what He was doing when he placed those children there and allowed that family to grow to that size .

BTW, I am pretty fertile, my periods come back quicker than average while breastfeeding full time, and I in my early 30’s pregnant with #6, married 9 years. That being said, I have an older friend (past menopause) that was blessed with 5 kiddos and that was it, she never avoided but that was all God had in store for her. We have a friend of the family that was blessed with 2 kids, about 12 years apart, no ABC nor NFP. Another friend in her 30’s blessed with 2 kids within few years, and that is it. Of course, then there are people like this woman: catholicnewsagency.com/news/mother-of-six-priests-and-four-religious-sisters-mourned-in-india/ that are very generous and have been blessed many times by God, not quite 17 times, but near there. I think it is to be celebrated that God blessed them with 15 children, not something to be considered negative.

 

[IBombAtomically]

We have been married for almost 5 years, and we’ve never used birth control or done NFP. We have a 4-year-old and a 21-month-old. So far no miscarriages.

My cycle just returned, and I think our kids are spaced that way because I practice extended breastfeeding and we cosleep. Mostly, I think God knows what is best for our family, and so far it is working out.

Never regret completely surrendering to God! He actually knows what He is doing!

 

[dailey]

I would like to add a different perspective. My neighbors, who were married over sixty years, had 8 children. What I saw, when they were in their eighties, was that their adult children and grandchildren were often calling, coming over, and doing things like cutting grass, bringing food, playing cards, etc. It was a treat to spend an hour or so and see how connected family was with them. Beautiful. To be envied. Think of that, that one day you’ll be retired and children and grandchildren will be a blessing.

My parents, who had 2 kids and got sterilized, only had me around in their difficult years with cancer. Just me. My brother occupied himself with other things. My neighbor, who recently died at home from age and cancer, was able to stay at home until the end, with support from family, and his bedroom was full of people reciting the rosary in his last hours. Gives me tears to think of it. A family of faith is a beautiful gift.

Wow. That was beautiful.

 

[7armyrugrats]

There is an indescribable peace that overcomes us once we surrender completely to the Lord. We have 8 with us and 8 in heaven. We lost them at various ages in pregnancy. Our youngest so far is 6 months, our oldest is 20. I co-sleep, exclusively breastfeed, and never leave my babies, but my fertility has always returned by 4 months postpartum. My parents used the rhythm method and had 6 kids in 15 yrs. My husbands parents tried desperately for a baby for 10 yrs before he was born. He has a sister 6 yrs younger than him and that is it. God knows what’s best for us even if we think our plans are better. Surrendering to His will is to experience true freedom