To marry or not to marry - with an STD

  • Thread starter Thread starter FlowerOfGod18
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
In my opinion as long as she is completeley honest about her condition to a prospective husband and makes sure he is informed of all the risks it is perfectly fine for her to marry. Herpes is not like AIDS, or other deadly STDs. It is still possible to have a very long and normal life and marriage should definiteley stll be an option in such a life.
 
40.png
Gearoidin:
I have a good friend who has HSV-2. She has given me permission to tell her story here.
She contracted herpes as a result of a “one night stand” when she was 20. She believes that it was a warning from God that she was on a slippery slope downwards. She completly turned her life around and is now a devout Catholic, married with children.
She at first believed that she shouldn’t date and would certainly never engage in sexual relationships (and so believed that marriage was impossible for her) but following several discussions with her wonderful parish priest, doctor and counsellor, she decided that it was possible. She was open with any boyfriends she had and would tell them early on in a relationship, if she thought things were getting serious. This caused the breakup of a few relationships and it took her a while to find a good man who was accepting of her condition. She is married now and God has blessed her and her husband with 4 beautiful children and #5 is due in April. She has recurrent flare ups so they abstain from maritial relationships during this time. Her first 3 her children were normal vaginal births since she had no herpes symptoms at the time but #4 was a c-section because she had a flareup when whe went into labour.
This couple have a wonderful marrige and are totally devoted to each other, their children and their faith.

Gearoidin
Click to expand...
Dear Gearoidin,

Thank you to your friend for sharing. :tiphat: If it is alright, I’d like to share all this info with my friend and plead again with her to meet with a holy priest I know. Maybe you and your friend can join me in praying for my friend with regard to this matter? She can be quite unmerciful towards herself. I do not know why? With this info, I hope she can see that she is not alone and that God is SOOOO GOOD! :clapping:
 
I think It is okay if you are upfront with the person. If my husband told me that he had genital herpes while we were dating, I would have still gotten married to him. I took him for better or worse. It would just be something we would have to deal with. I definately would not love him any less or blame him If I became infected. Not if I knew that info ahead of time. Sometimes you just can’t stop loving someone. (I think any babies would have to be delivered by c-section)
 
40.png
AlanFromWichita:
That is a good point. I was about to go in the direction of “if they are consenting and informed” but after reading this, I will hold that idea in abeyance until we find out if children can be injured. I’m not sure exactly how that factors in, so I’ll wait with you…

Alan
Click to expand...
During my pregnancy the doctor did a test for STD’s. I was told that if you had herpes the baby would be delivered c-section. Or the herpes can get into the childs eyes causing blindness. The doctor didn’t seem like there would be any other causes for alarm. However, I did not check into the matter, as I do not have any STD’s
 
40.png
FlowerOfGod18:
Dear Gearoidin,

Thank you to your friend for sharing. :tiphat: If it is alright, I’d like to share all this info with my friend and plead again with her to meet with a holy priest I know. Maybe you and your friend can join me in praying for my friend with regard to this matter? She can be quite unmerciful towards herself. I do not know why? With this info, I hope she can see that she is not alone and that God is SOOOO GOOD! :clapping:
Click to expand...
Another of us here. Hardest post I’ve ever written. I have a permanent reminder of being raped 15 years ago. I hit the skids after that. I thank God every day that I did not spread it.

It was terribly painful to tell my now husband when we were dating. I brought it up very early in. He was very understanding and we now abstain indefinitely if I feel even a twinge. It might be easier on me due to my circumstances in contracting the disease in telling people. It didn’t take away the shame and horror of facing the possibilities, though. I have been able to deliver 1 baby vaginally. Doctors do have a good handle on how to deal with this disease and are quite helpful.

I am shaking as I type this. All these years later and it is still so painful. Please tell your friend that no matter what, THIS IS NOT HER FAULT! The person who gave it to her without her knowledge will have to answer for his sin. The man who gave it to me has two sins to answer for, the rape and the disease. For those who have seen my posts stating, “There are worse things you can get from a rape than a baby,” now you know why.

The spouse of a person with this disease is a saint in training. God will bless the man who loves all of her, despite this disease that has invaded her body.
 
40.png
FlowerOfGod18:
Dear Gearoidin,

Thank you to your friend for sharing. :tiphat: If it is alright, I’d like to share all this info with my friend and plead again with her to meet with a holy priest I know. Maybe you and your friend can join me in praying for my friend with regard to this matter? She can be quite unmerciful towards herself. I do not know why? With this info, I hope she can see that she is not alone and that God is SOOOO GOOD! :clapping:
Click to expand...
Of course share it with your friend and we will keep her in our prayers.

Gearoidin
 
40.png
LittleDeb:
Another of us here. Hardest post I’ve ever written. I have a permanent reminder of being raped 15 years ago. I hit the skids after that. I thank God every day that I did not spread it.

It was terribly painful to tell my now husband when we were dating. I brought it up very early in. He was very understanding and we now abstain indefinitely if I feel even a twinge. It might be easier on me due to my circumstances in contracting the disease in telling people. It didn’t take away the shame and horror of facing the possibilities, though. I have been able to deliver 1 baby vaginally. Doctors do have a good handle on how to deal with this disease and are quite helpful.

I am shaking as I type this. All these years later and it is still so painful. Please tell your friend that no matter what, THIS IS NOT HER FAULT! The person who gave it to her without her knowledge will have to answer for his sin. The man who gave it to me has two sins to answer for, the rape and the disease. For those who have seen my posts stating, “There are worse things you can get from a rape than a baby,” now you know why.

The spouse of a person with this disease is a saint in training. God will bless the man who loves all of her, despite this disease that has invaded her body.
Click to expand...
God Bless you and your husband too! What a brave woman you are and what a great man your husband is.

Gearoidin
 
Your friend has a background with an abusive father, etc. I would say that that is her primary reason for shunning relationships with Catholic men, and she’s using the herpes as an excuse. She believes she’s dirty and tainted and not worthy of love, and that’s very sad.

She needs to get some counseling - starting with a priest, but definitely going to an actual professional therapist - about this.

The Evil One is thwarting her chances at living a happy Catholic life. She feels the call to the vocation of marriage and motherhood, and the Evil One wants to prevent her from doing that.

I have hepatitis C. Some people consider that to be an STD, even though it’s quite hard to get it from sex. Anyway, I’ve told guys I’ve dated. One of them immediately went from extremely interested to being distant/polite until the date ended and that was the end of it. The other one is going to marry me in February! 🙂
 
40.png
LittleDeb:
Another of us here. Hardest post I’ve ever written. I have a permanent reminder of being raped 15 years ago. I hit the skids after that. I thank God every day that I did not spread it.

It was terribly painful to tell my now husband when we were dating. I brought it up very early in. He was very understanding and we now abstain indefinitely if I feel even a twinge. It might be easier on me due to my circumstances in contracting the disease in telling people. It didn’t take away the shame and horror of facing the possibilities, though. I have been able to deliver 1 baby vaginally. Doctors do have a good handle on how to deal with this disease and are quite helpful.

I am shaking as I type this. All these years later and it is still so painful. Please tell your friend that no matter what, THIS IS NOT HER FAULT! The person who gave it to her without her knowledge will have to answer for his sin. The man who gave it to me has two sins to answer for, the rape and the disease. For those who have seen my posts stating, “There are worse things you can get from a rape than a baby,” now you know why.

The spouse of a person with this disease is a saint in training. God will bless the man who loves all of her, despite this disease that has invaded her body.
Click to expand...
It was obviously difficult for you to share this and you are a courageous lady for doing so. I pray God brings you comfort and peace.

Peace…
 
If it’s a consideration what the STD would do to potential children, wouldn’t it also be morally illicit for couples with genetic disorders to have children? And wouldn’t it affect people’s ability to marry?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top