To men--have you ever considered becoming a priest? If not, why?

[whatevergirl]

In reading through various threads, and over the years hearing it while sitting at mass, or in the newspapers, we all can see that there is a priest shortage. In talking to my MIL recently, who is soon to be 86 bless her heart, and a devout Catholic all her life–she made an interesting comment…“Man has the same tempations that he had back in my day, but we turned out more priests. What’s changed?” (She has 9 kids, 5 boys–none became priests…how can that be when they all attended Catholic school, and some were altar boys? Reasons ranged from ‘want to get married,’ to ‘went to fight in the Vietnam war,’ to ‘not feeling called,’ etc…)

It got me thinking, especially after reading that many on here feel that with women becoming lectors and altar servers over the years, that this has been an indirect catalyst of why we are seeing a decline in the priesthood.

***This thread is not for us to discuss why we feel the priesthood is declining. *** I’m more interested in surveying the men on here, if you are married or not, as to if you ever gave becoming a priest serious thought, and if not, why? I’m particularly interested in hearing from those who grew up in a devout Catholic home–although converts, please feel free to chime in!

We do a lot of finger pointing in the Church…I have discussed the priesthood with my son, but he told me…‘if they could marry, I would.’ At least he was honest…and I wonder if that is what many men feel or what the other reasons might be? I think it’s easy to think to one’s self…‘yep, there’s a priest shortage, but not my problem.’ It really is not going to change, if we don’t have discussions with our sons and at least nurture the thought of becoming priests. Some are truly not called, but what are/were your reasons for not considering it, yourself?

There’s no right or wrong answers …I just want to see the reasons behind our priest shortage, from men who didn’t become priests themselves, who grew up Catholic. I mean, there has to be a reason or set of reasons behind it. I just think that we come up with our own assumptions, but why not ask the question to some Catholic men? And why don’t we apply those same reasons when we think about the priest shortage? And if you didn’t feel called, etc…do you discuss it with your sons, and encourage it? If not, why? Look forward to your replies.

 

[JReducation]

I was never attracted to the priesthood. I love priests and have worked with them for years. I have great admiration for many.

To be honest, I have always felt an attraction to religious life. If I were younger, I’d become a religious, but not a priest. The life of prayer, community, discipline, poverty, penance and service is very attractive to me. Unfortunately, by the time that my youngest is independent enough, I will probably be too old to change over from being a Secular Franciscan to being a Friar.

I’ve always looks at the two vocations, priesthood and religious life separately, because they are two callings, though sometimes they come as one for some men. The call to religious life has a stronger hold on me.

JR

 

[brotherhrolf]

I felt called when I was a boy. I would think it was pretty common among altar boys before Vatican II. It sure seemed to be.

After spending 3 1/2 years on active duty in the Navy, I came home to finish college in 1974 and because I was an archaeology major, I got to go and help an amateur archaeologist priest at a local abbey which had a Native American site on it. I had been to the abbey as a child on numerous occassions. And it is a place of great serenity where you can feel the presence of God in a palpable way. Everyone on the crew was Catholic (save one) and we began and ended our digging day with prayer. [We didn’t tell the univeristy].

I went through a year or so after that wondering if I was being called to a monastic or priestly life. I discovered Thomas Merton. His early writings still resound to me. And as an anthropologist (archaeology is a sub-discipline of anthropology), I think I understand where he was going with trying to understand Buddhist monastacism. The whole experience was deeply soul searching. By 1976 when I graduated, I knew beyond a doubt that it was my own selfish desires and not a “true calling” that were calling me. I simply wanted to escape “the world”.

So, thirty years of marriage and two sons later, here I am. I try to serve HMC as I am able. I have sung in the cathedral choir for over twenty years and, as a calligrapher (how monastic can you get ?), I donate my services to my parish and the diocese. That’s my story.

 

[whatevergirl]

I felt called when I was a boy. I would think it was pretty common among altar boys before Vatican II. It sure seemed to be.

After spending 3 1/2 years on active duty in the Navy, I came home to finish college in 1974 and because I was an archaeology major, I got to go and help an amateur archaeologist priest at a local abbey which had a Native American site on it. I had been to the abbey as a child on numerous occassions. And it is a place of great serenity where you can feel the presence of God in a palpable way. Everyone on the crew was Catholic (save one) and we began and ended our digging day with prayer. [We didn’t tell the univeristy].

I went through a year or so after that wondering if I was being called to a monastic or priestly life. I discovered Thomas Merton. His early writings still resound to me. And as an anthropologist (archaeology is a sub-discipline of anthropology), I think I understand where he was going with trying to understand Buddhist monastacism. The whole experience was deeply soul searching. By 1976 when I graduated, I knew beyond a doubt that it was my own selfish desires and not a “true calling” that were calling me. I simply wanted to escape “the world”.

So, thirty years of marriage and two sons later, here I am. I try to serve HMC as I am able. I have sung in the cathedral choir for over twenty years and, as a calligrapher (how monastic can you get ?), I donate my services to my parish and the diocese. That’s my story.

Talk about self reflection and soul searching…that is an amazing story, thank you for sharing.

 

[whatevergirl]

I was never attracted to the priesthood. I love priests and have worked with them for years. I have great admiration for many.

To be honest, I have always felt an attraction to religious life. If I were younger, I’d become a religious, but not a priest. The life of prayer, community, discipline, poverty, penance and service is very attractive to me. Unfortunately, by the time that my youngest is independent enough, I will probably be too old to change over from being a Secular Franciscan to being a Friar.

I’ve always looks at the two vocations, priesthood and religious life separately, because they are two callings, though sometimes they come as one for some men. The call to religious life has a stronger hold on me.

JR

I wonder how many other men feel this way, too. I wonder if the role of deacon has caused any men to consider that, as opposed to life as a priest, because they can pursue religious life, and married life. Thank you for sharing!

 

[jkarp]

I was planning on entering St. Benedict’s Abbey in Kansas. I had finally opened my heart to the possibility that I was being called to the priesthood and initiated meetings with Fr. Meinrad, the vocations director. At that point, I met my wife (who was also discerning a call to religious life). We knew almost immediately that we were called to marriage. We were engaged 5 (or 6?) months later and married a year and a half after that. I firmly believe that it was our openness to God’s calling that allowed us to finally meet each other. (feel free to check out our website).

 

[saint_rafael]

I am still discerning my vocation. I believe I could be a priest, though I am more of a reserved personality.

The main reasons I would not be a priest is because of the crisis in the Church. If I became a priest, the Church would force me to compromise on my traditional Catholicism and I would be under clerical obedience. As a Catholic trad I love the Latin Mass and in my conscience, as a priest I could never celebrate the New Mass. I believe it is bad liturgy. I would be forced to learn the New Mass and I would have to celebrate it.

If I ever became a priest it would only be with the traditonal Catholic orders of either the FSSP or ICK.

 

[whatevergirl]

These answers are fascinating…my 12 yr old dd is reading along with me today. She said she was curious to know your answers, too.

I guess from seeing the answers, that feminism, and the roles of women in the Church, as not the front and center issues that I have been reading about in other threads. Like the thread about altar servers being females…it doesn’t seem a likely culprit to the decline of the priesthood. If we’re honest with each other…I think the Church could find some solutions to the problem of the decreasing priesthood.

I don’t think we can discount the fact that people in general, are leaving the faith, and ‘our numbers’ are declining. If we are losing good men to other faiths, then that could also account for the priesthood decline. Just typing out loud again.

jkarp–your story is so touching. Wherever God calls us, His will will prevail…that’s such a great story.

 

[whatevergirl]

I am still discerning my vocation. I believe I could be a priest, though I am more of a reserved personality.

The main reasons I would not be a priest is because of the crisis in the Church. If I became a priest, the Church would force me to compromise on my traditional Catholicism and I would be under clerical obedience. As a Catholic trad I love the Latin Mass and in my conscience, as a priest I could never celebrate the New Mass. I believe it is bad liturgy. I would be forced to learn the New Mass and I would have to celebrate it.

If I ever became a priest it would only be with the traditonal Catholic orders of either the FSSP or ICK.

Your answer is really intriguing, I would never have thought that as a potential reason. I think you could find traditional orders to be a part of, no? Is your feeling about modern mass worth not pursuing your calling? I am not pressing you, lol…just curious. We need good men, that’s all I know --you sound like you have given this serious consideration!

 

[saint_rafael]

It’s not just the mass, it would be the entire climate. I have heard stories of many orthodox priests who have been persecuted by their local bishops.
Many don’t get to be pastors and some regulated to hospital chaplains. The American Church has been in turmoil for decades.

There are traditional orders and if I discern it to be God’s will, I will have to be a priest no matter the tribulations.

I believe that priests no longer have the freedom to be real priests. The laity have become so uncatechized, liberalized, secularized, that orthodox priests will have problems getting back their traditional roles.

I guess the entire climate of novelty and liberalism is one that I have doubts about. Many men who I believe do not have the right intetions have reached the highest levels in the Church.

 

[JReducation]

I wonder how many other men feel this way, too. I wonder if the role of deacon has caused any men to consider that, as opposed to life as a priest, because they can pursue religious life, and married life. Thank you for sharing!

Wait a minute. A deacon is not a religious. A deacon is diocesan. Religious communities do not have permanent deacons.

Religous take vows and live in community.

deacons and priests do not take vows or live in community.

If a man is both a priest and a religious he takes vows, because he’s a religious, not because he’s a priest.

The priesthood does not include vows or any form of religious life. The priesthood is a state within the Church, not a way of life.

That’s why you must discern whether you want to be in Holy Orders (which would be a deacon or a priest) or be a religious and take vows, follow a rule, live a specific way of life within a community and be bound to that community for life.

Some men are called to both.

Today, we are seeing a shifting in the breezes. More men are called to religious life and less to the priesthood. There are more younger men who are entering religious communities witht the desire to be religious, but no dsire to be priests.

The deaconate is another vocation tha a man can consider. There are permanent deacons who do not get married. In fact, a deacon may not get married. He must be married before he is ordained. Once ordained, he may not get married. The same applies to priests.

There are married priests within the Catholic Church, but they must be married before their deaconate ordination. Most of them belong to the Byzantine Rites, but some belong to the Latin Rite.

Ministers who convert to Catholciism and are married, may be ordained deacons or priests in the Latin Rite. But that’s another thread.

JR

 

[puzzleannie]

there is another obvious reason for the priest shortage, which is most of the boys that would have grown up with a desire to be priests and answered that call have been contracepted out of existence.

 

[JReducation]

there is another obvious reason for the priest shortage, which is most of the boys that would have grown up with a desire to be priests and answered that call have been contracepted out of existence.

I hope that God is more merciful.

However, if you look at the many new religious communities that were born after Vatican II and some of the very old ones who are surviving, they are predominantly communities of religious whe are non clerical and don’t want to be clerics. They want to live the religious life. They do not want the clerical state. They are looking for a way of life that is different from the world and that responds to the world. They are not looking for a state in life. Therefore, the priesthood is not attractive to them.

This is OK too. Perfectae Caritatis says that this is the highest form of dedication to God, the life of a religious.

While the priesthood is the highest function in the Church.

They are different and the Church likes to keep them different.

In a pefect world, I’m sure that the laity would love to have all men called to both religious life and the priesthood, maybe not all. Someone has to be available for the girls to marry.

We can’t always have everything we want, can we?

JR

 

[ethelzguy]

I did for many years, as did many altar boys.

But the call of the wild (women) was stronger, and Matrimony is a Sacrement too.

 

[Ridgerunner]

This is probably not helpful, but here goes.

I grew up at a time when there were plenty of vocations to the priesthood. Never, however, did I ever think I had a vocation to the priesthood. Not when I was a little kid. Not when I was a teen. Not as a young man. Not now. I have utmost respect for priests and consider theirs a high calling. But it’s just not mine.

I did, however, always have an absolute certitude that I was called to be a married man with a family. Even when I was a very small child, I just knew that I would be married and have children, and looked forward to that.

I think some simply are not called to be priests.

I have, however, long been trained to be a speaker, and do a fair job of it. I have harbored a secret wish to be a “sermon trainer” for seminarians. I really do wish they would make seminarians take nine semester hours of speech training from me. I don’t think I am in any danger of being asked, though.

 

[whatevergirl]

I did for many years, as did many altar boys.

But the call of the wild (women) was stronger, and Matrimony is a Sacrement too.

call of the wild lol

I truly think that the calling to be married could be a very strong ‘argument’ why many men do not go into the priesthood…and I also wonder if the way the prieshood is not as encouraged at home as it used to be. I think we’re getting somewhere with this thread…at least I see that!

 

[puzzleannie]

I hope that God is more merciful.

God is indeed infinitely more merciful than parents who reject his supreme gift

if God plans to send a child to earth to become a priest, and the parents prevent its conception or birth, that is one less priest–or doctor, or teacher, or firefighter, or parent.

 

[whatevergirl]

This is probably not helpful, but here goes.

I grew up at a time when there were plenty of vocations to the priesthood. Never, however, did I ever think I had a vocation to the priesthood. Not when I was a little kid. Not when I was a teen. Not as a young man. Not now. I have utmost respect for priests and consider theirs a high calling. But it’s just not mine.

I did, however, always have an absolute certitude that I was called to be a married man with a family. Even when I was a very small child, I just knew that I would be married and have children, and looked forward to that.

I think some simply are not called to be priests.

I have, however, long been trained to be a speaker, and do a fair job of it. I have harbored a secret wish to be a “sermon trainer” for seminarians. I really do wish they would make seminarians take nine semester hours of speech training from me. I don’t think I am in any danger of being asked, though.

You’re blessed–I have to speak in front of audiences with work, but don’t necessarily enjoy it. Maybe you’ll put out a cd or something! lol

Part of why I posted this thread, is that I think there are some assumptions with many Catholics, that men are not prusuing the priesthood because of the female roles that have been created over the years, within the Church…ie : lectors, EEM’s, and altar servers being females. I personally think that it’s a much more personal decision…not something external, that causes one to become a priest or not…and of course, a firm calling from God, one probably feels.

 

[JReducation]

My only cocern with these kinds of questions is that the focus is always on the priesthood.

I often wonder why lay Catholics seem not to appreciate religious life. I’m not talking about priests who are religious.

I’m talking about religious life, with vows, rule, community, prayer, penance, ministry, silence, poverty, without priesthood.

We seem to promote religious life for women and priesthood for men.

There are many men who would make excellent religious and there are many excellent religious communities of men that live very holy lives even when they have no priests or very few.

For example: Maryknoll, Capuchins, Marianists, De la Salle Christian Brothers, Brothers of Charity, Brothers of the Poor, Missionaries of Charity, Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, Eternal Word Missionaries, Trappists, Carthusians, Camaldolese, Brothers of the Good Shepherd, or Little Brothers of St. Francis

These communities and many others have either no priests, some priests but their focus is not on diocesan ministries. Their focus is on living religious life. Those who are priests often lend their services to the bishops, but usually use their priesthood for the benefit of their religious community which is their priority.

I’m wondering if we understand the difference between priesthood and religious life and if we really appreciate the religious life. Should we not be moving men in that direction too?

Why just the priesthood?

Our parish has seven religious. Three are priests. The other four are:

1. Superior of the house
2. Religious Education Director
3. Theologian
4. Handyman

These foud men are indispensable in the parish.

JR

 

[brotherhrolf]

I was planning on entering St. Benedict’s Abbey in Kansas. I had finally opened my heart to the possibility that I was being called to the priesthood and initiated meetings with Fr. Meinrad, the vocations director. At that point, I met my wife (who was also discerning a call to religious life). We knew almost immediately that we were called to marriage. We were engaged 5 (or 6?) months later and married a year and a half after that. I firmly believe that it was our openness to God’s calling that allowed us to finally meet each other. (feel free to check out our website).

I often sit back and reflect upon this as well. Just as soon as I realized that I was contemplating entering the abbey to escape the world, bam, I met DW. Come October, we’ll be married thirty years. Our Lord moves in mysterious ways, His wonders to behold. Marriage is every bit as much of a vocation.