To My Porn-Watchign Dad, From your Daughter

  • Thread starter Thread starter AnneElizabeth
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

AnneElizabeth

Guest
faithit.com/an-open-letter-to-the-dad-looking-at-porn/

Can someone please tell me why there is such vitriol against this woman in the comments section, mostly from some of the men? One even calls her the ‘c’ word.

I’d like for someone to explain to me why there is so much extreme hatred towards the woman who wrote this open letter to her father about her hurt and confusion over the issue. I can see if someone disagrees with her, but some of the comments are so over the top extreme hatred. Someone please explain this to me the reason why. (Especially if porn is supposed to be no big deal as they say) Why is her experience/feelings/emotions/senses/ reactions… so wrong to them?
 
Many responses were supportive and affirming of her dilemma and her pain. I think those who respond negatively to her honesty and suffering are themselves caught up in denial over this area of life, be they victims in deep denial or addicted to porn or just plain uninformed and unwilling to face the issue from the aspect of one who has had to put up with the hypocrisy of a dad preaching one thing and practicing another.
 
Cowards love to shout from the dark corners in anonymity, the internet makes that easy. If their moms would check on what they were up to once in a while, then it might get reduced, but probably never go away. The sad state of the modern world.
 
AnneElizabeth said:
Can someone please tell me why there is such vitriol against this woman in the comments section, mostly from some of the men?
Click to expand...
It’s for the same reason so many hate the Catholic Church. They don’t like to be confronted by their sins.
 
Crusaderbear said:
Cowards love to shout from the dark corners in anonymity, the internet makes that easy. If their moms would check on what they were up to once in a while, then it might get reduced, but probably never go away. The sad state of the modern world.
Click to expand...
Yes, but I suppose I want a deeper issue… obviously something struck them to give such a reaction. Obviously something hurt them to lash out in such a way? What was it about what she said that threatened them so much they had the compulsion to publicly try and humiliate her, cut her down? If porn watching is no big deal as they are kind of implying, then why the harsh reaction? What is the threat? What is wrong with what she felt? Is she wrong to feel that way?!

… I see that you imply that these who posted hateful things are young men with ‘mommies’ in jest… but these are probably grown men.
 
AnneElizabeth said:
… I see that you imply that these who posted hateful things are young men with ‘mommies’ in jest… but these are probably grown men.
Click to expand...
Biologically grown, but not emotionally. I’ve seen similiar ‘hate posts’ (for want of any better description…) in newspaper articles on many socially controversial topics. Many papers now adays don’t even open certain articles for comment! Are there deeper issues here, most assuredly. I’m not sure you can figure them out though! Good luck in your quest!
 
Crusaderbear said:
Biologically grown, but not emotionally. I’ve seen similiar ‘hate posts’ (for want of any better description…) in newspaper articles on many socially controversial topics. Many papers now adays don’t even open certain articles for comment! Are there deeper issues here, most assuredly. I’m not sure you can figure them out though! Good luck in your quest!
Click to expand...
Crusaderbear, I didn’t want to go the route of pointing an accusatory finger at these posters. That not my intent. I just want understanding.

I did notice these posters who are commenting hateful things are male and that I never see a female doing the same thing. So it has to do something with being a male. You are right I may never figure it out- it seems like there are no answers.

They seem so over the top hateful for something that seems like it doesn’t even deserve hate. I can’t understand that. It reminds me of racism. It brings fear to me, being a woman.
 
A priest once said something to the effect of “sometimes the hate directed at you by someone comes from the pain of their living in darkness.” And so it is with internet commenters, and lots of others who spew hate: it comes not just from them living in darkness, but because of the pain they suffer for doing so (and I think that some of the haters, deep down, know they are living in darkness and hate themselves for it).
 
PolarGuy said:
A priest once said something to the effect of “sometimes the hate directed at you by someone comes from the pain of their living in darkness.” And so it is with internet commenters, and lots of others who spew hate: it comes not just from them living in darkness, but because of the pain they suffer for doing so (and I think that some of the haters, deep down, know they are living in darkness and hate themselves for it).
Click to expand...
I believe this to be true. Maybe not all of the time, but there is that saying hurt people hurt people. What I’m wondering, is there any way to reach them? What would be their hurt then? Why do they love their darkness?
 
Some of these people are so mired in hate and darkness that only God can reach them. You reach them by praying and by not being like them, and by bearing witness by the way to live your life.

Sadly, that may make them hate you all the more. People killed the prophets. They killed Jesus. Some people can’t be reached (by us anyway) because of the choices they make.

Further, they really have no “hurt” other than the hurt that comes from the pain they’ve caused themselves by choosing the darkness.
 
If you check out the comments section on any controversial topic…it’s the same exact thing across the board in terms of hateful comments.

It’s actually boring to see and I couldn’t be bothered to raise an eyebrow to any of it.

They are anonymous and they are on the internet. So there are very few rules to follow. A vast majority of the commenters are probably trolls looking to raise some eyebrows.

If this article was given in a lecture hall at a local college…99% of these posters would have nothing of substance to say.

They know it’s wrong…but will do backflips to justify it. I always get a kick out of the persistence that watching porn is a “normal” activity amongst most relationships. That is totally ridiculous.

I think we all have better things to do then worry about the commenters of “click-bate” articles.
 
AnneElizabeth said:
Can someone please tell me why there is such vitriol against this woman in the comments section, mostly from some of the men?
Click to expand...
Addiction = slavery. Slaves must always scream when their taskmaster tells them to.

The pelvis owns these men, and has overruled their reason and their empathy, and their hearts.
 
Kelfa28 said:
If you check out the comments section on any controversial topic…it’s the same exact thing across the board in terms of hateful comments.

It’s actually boring to see and I couldn’t be bothered to raise an eyebrow to any of it.

They are anonymous and they are on the internet. So there are very few rules to follow. A vast majority of the commenters are probably trolls looking to raise some eyebrows.

If this article was given in a lecture hall at a local college…99% of these posters would have nothing of substance to say.

They know it’s wrong…but will do backflips to justify it. I always get a kick out of the persistence that watching porn is a “normal” activity amongst most relationships. That is totally ridiculous.

I think we all have better things to do then worry about the commenters of “click-bate” articles.
Click to expand...
I think what struck me so much about this article/commentary is that this woman wasn’t doing anything but sharing her experience. She didn’t out her dad (call him by name). She even said she forgave him and that she loves him even though what he did hurt her. All she is doing is sharing how it hurt her, the effect it had on her, her self worth. … And yet there are these (sorry guys) males there that are just completely hateful to her. I wonder why they even read the article? How did they get to that webpage without searching for some term that led them there? Were they* looking* to bash someone? !
Code: 
 I understand with controversial topics, that in the comments section you will find people being rude to each other.   But this...   this was just someone sharing her insights, her hurt, her feelings.    There's no need for the hate in this sort of thing.    Politics, i can understand how things get churned up, but just this expressing, this 'open letter'...  ?!   I get the notion these people who commented hatefully did so because they felt judged somehow and lashed out.
Its also the DEGREE of hate and lashing out that was surprising. I just felt there was no need for it. Their comments stick out like, well, like a sore thumb. This lady didn’t say, " d*mn you men for your sex urges!" I get the feeling this is what the men who commented hatefully ‘read’ her as saying. This is most unfair. And very bizarre they make that mental leap. I don’t understand the quick defense unless they find porn itself more fulfilling than actual flesh female lover… they sure defend it as if it were their spouse. Like something is really not in its rightful place.
 
AnneElizabeth said:
faithit.com/an-open-letter-to-the-dad-looking-at-porn/

Can someone please tell me why there is such vitriol against this woman in the comments section, mostly from some of the men? One even calls her the ‘c’ word.

I’d like for someone to explain to me why there is so much extreme hatred towards the woman who wrote this open letter to her father about her hurt and confusion over the issue. I can see if someone disagrees with her, but some of the comments are so over the top extreme hatred. Someone please explain this to me the reason why. (Especially if porn is supposed to be no big deal as they say) Why is her experience/feelings/emotions/senses/ reactions… so wrong to them?
Click to expand...
Lust darkens the intellect, and porn degrades women. So if the men who are proud porn consumers and hence influenced by the vision of sex portrayed in porn start to bring forth laughable arguments buttressed by hurling abuse at the author just because she is a woman, don’t be surprised.
 
AnneElizabeth said:
Code: 
 I understand with controversial topics, that in the comments section you will find people being rude to each other.   But this...   this was just someone sharing her insights, her hurt, her feelings.    There's no need for the hate in this sort of thing.    Politics, i can understand how things get churned up, but just this expressing, this 'open letter'...  ?!   I get the notion these people who commented hatefully did so because they felt judged somehow and **lashed out.  **
Click to expand...
You are likely correct here. People don’t like being called out on their sins, and consuming porn is sinful. No argument there.

Some of the hateful responses could also be (rightly or wrongly) due to internal anger many men feel for being constantly called to the carpet for their sins, sexual and otherwise, while women get a free pass. For example, we have grown fairly close to another couple on our street, mostly due to having children the same age. The wife is a pleasant, yet fairly proper/reserved woman, who would probably send her husband to the woodshed if she caught him looking at porn. Yet she unashamedly displays the ‘50 Shades’ trilogy on a bookshelf in the family room.

Look at popular movie franchises and books written for female audiences. A disturbing amount of them are rape fantasy trash, and even worse, involve bestiality and/or sex with the undead. I have committed many sins of the flesh. My thoughts are far from pure. Yet I have never, ever, fantasized about having sex with a female were-wolf, female vampire, or other depraved nonsense. I won’t link to examples here, but the amount of smut produced to satisfy female tastes is shocking.

The vast majority of men would be too ashamed to admit they are regular consumers of porn in mixed company, or even buy a girlie magazine from a newsstand in plain view of other people. Even if they choose to sin, they know what they are doing is wrong. Yet women line up gleefully and unashamedly to purchase the newest installment of the aforementioned ‘50 Shades’ series, which is nothing but a BDSM fantasy, or get together en masse to view vampire rape garbage like the Twilight series.

Let me state again I have nothing against the young lady’s letter in principle. My issue is with those who would post something like this on Facebook for the sake of moral posturing, but would be absolutely outraged if someone suggested that the trashy romance novels they like to read just might be sinful too.
 
Estevao said:
Lust darkens the intellect, and porn degrades women. So if the men who are proud porn consumers and hence influenced by the vision of sex portrayed in porn start to bring forth laughable arguments buttressed by hurling abuse at the author just because she is a woman, don’t be surprised.
Click to expand...
I think porn degrades just about anyone or anything involved in it.

I am glad the daughter shared her story, and it was eye-opening to see her wonder what her father thought about her friends.

Children may become especially upset at a parent for infidelity.
 
I suppose it could be perceived as a case of adding insult to injury. Scenario: you’ve willingly sired children and assumed all the responsibilities of rearing them, sacrificing anything that the world would account as “pleasure” in the process. Perhaps at some points–sinfully, though understandably–you’ve vicariously indulged in something resembling pleasure. But it’s not enough: you then catch static from your offspring for not going the whole nine yards and consenting to being uncompromisingly miserable … for not 100% eschewing any lingering ghost of pleasure.

Is it so surprising that in the face of such sentiments, a few listeners finally snap and feel as if they’re being begrudged anything and everything that a human wants? Even prisoners have hopes of parole or the odd situational furlough.
 
Le_Cracquere said:
I suppose it could be perceived as a case of adding insult to injury. Scenario: you’ve willingly sired children and assumed all the responsibilities of rearing them, sacrificing anything that the world would account as “pleasure” in the process. Perhaps at some points–sinfully, though understandably–you’ve vicariously indulged in something resembling pleasure. But it’s not enough: you then catch static from your offspring for not going the whole nine yards and consenting to being uncompromisingly miserable … for not 100% eschewing any lingering ghost of pleasure.

Is it so surprising that in the face of such sentiments, a few listeners finally snap and feel as if they’re being begrudged anything and everything that a human wants? Even prisoners have hopes of parole or the odd situational furlough.
Click to expand...
I see your point here, and its true what you say about the sacrifice parents do to raise a child. Nobody is perfect and everyone needs their leisure time. I also can understand how porn could be perceived as a lingering ghost of a pleasure, however, I think there lies the problem… For some its just a passing pleasure, for others it is cheating, infidelity… all the things the church says is wrong with it. It causes damage… to* someone* out there. There are some passing pleasures that don’t really do much harm to others and then there are those that do. Some are very harmful. (of course too there are many pleasures that God has made for us that cause no harm to others as long as its used the right way)

thanks though, your reply makes a lot of sense.
 
AnneElizabeth said:
faithit.com/an-open-letter-to-the-dad-looking-at-porn/

Can someone please tell me why there is such vitriol against this woman in the comments section, mostly from some of the men? One even calls her the ‘c’ word.

I’d like for someone to explain to me why there is so much extreme hatred towards the woman who wrote this open letter to her father about her hurt and confusion over the issue. I can see if someone disagrees with her, but some of the comments are so over the top extreme hatred. Someone please explain this to me the reason why. (Especially if porn is supposed to be no big deal as they say) Why is her experience/feelings/emotions/senses/ reactions… so wrong to them?
Click to expand...
I thought it was a very good letter, even if people mock/scorn it. I don’t care. Thank you for sharing it, you can add me as a good comment to help balance it out and make you feel better if you like. 🙂

The only thing I would note, and which some might not have understood, is the keynote difference between those struggling who need help and prayers and those who see no problem with it.

I would also say that, she can also offer her suffering due to her father’s sins up in atonement for those sins in union with Christ and His redemptive suffering on the cross for all of our sins.

Also, I think this letter will impact people and indeed help wake them up, and I doubt those people will comment, but it will impact them and help others.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top