To shelter the homeless

[Kathrin]

Last night I was talking to a couple of homeless people, a guy (I think he’s a vet) who was quite stoned and whom I have talked to a number of times over the years, and then a woman he knows who showed up and suddenly said, ‘I need a place to stay tonight, i can’t sleep in a doorway anymore.’
I told her that I just have a very small room (I live in a cheap hotel room), hardly enough space on the floor next to the bed. And I must admit, I also felt a bit uncomfortable at somebody “invading my space” like that. However, the Bible tells us to be hospitable to the stranger.

The two of them wanted to go down to sit in front of a bar for a bit or something, and I finally told the woman that if she didn’t find anybody else she could come to the hotel I am staying at, I told her my room number and also said I would come downstairs before I went to bed to let her in (there is no front desk or anything, it’s more like an apartment building).

At midnight or so she wasn’t there. I finally went to bed, feeling kind of guilty because I felt I had made it sound like she wasnt really all that welcome, maybe I should have taken her in right away?
I woke up at around 4.30 or so and went downstairs again, even walked down to that bar they had hung out in front of. Then went back to bed.

In the morning (just now) I ran into the other guy. He said they had slept in a doorway and almost froze to death (probably a bit exaggerated, but it was pretty chilly last night. And they didn’t have any blankets or anything I think.)

The guy kept talking and talking, a bit drunk/stoned or both or whatever. He said the woman finally went home with some rich guy in the morning.

I feel I may not have done what i could. Maybe I should have invited BOTH of them to my room? But I am not sure how much I can trust the guy if he is stoned or drunk. He said he was getting 40 dollars back from somebody today and I told him to buy himself a good sleeping bag. He doesn’t really listen to what i say. He just wants to wait until Thursday when he gets his veteran’s benefits or something.

Now I wonder if it is my reasponsibility to let him crash on my floor for the next nights if I see him. But I feel very uncomfortable at the thought.
I wonder if that is my selfishness, making me uncomfortable. As I like my privacy at night. I am worried he might smoke/have bugs/drink and get me in trouble/maybe I am not even allowed to have overnight guests, I am not sure… On the other hand, I also wonder if it would be safe?

With the woman, I really would have let her in, she seemed just weary and tired and in need of a good night’s rest. And maybe she didn’t come because I made her feel not welcome (The guy in the morning said something about out of respect for me they stayed outside, because I have a small place.)

I feel bad about that. And at the same time, relieved. And I wonder. We are supposed to shelter the homeless. But how about our own safety? I wonder if I did the right thing. And how to handle such things in the future.

Kathrin

 

[MarieVeronica]

Oh, Kathrin…this is so hard. I feel so bad for you. ((hugs)). You’re obviously a person with a good and generous heart… to want to help these two poor souls in such a personal way. God knows the intentions of your heart, and I’m sure He is smiling on you for your sense of compassion.

Having said that, though. I doubt Our Lord would want you to put yourself in a situation… that could be potentially dangerous to you (inviting them into your own, small room). Especially, since you said that the one friend has some difficulties with drugs and alcohol. That could be so dangerous.

So, here’s my suggestion. Do some research for your friends. Most cities and towns have at least one shelter for homeless people. A place where they can go, to get off the street (especially on cold nights) and have a bed… or a cot, and some hot food. Ours also offers clothing to anyone in need. Some even offer special “programs” for the homeless… to help them find work… permanent lodgings… etc.

I would start with the local Catholic parishes. There is usually a special ministry set up in most parishes… for just this purpose. Then, the next time you encounter your friends… provide them with the directions/phone numbers of the shelters. Put them in TOUCH with the Pastoral Care Ministers of any of those parishes. I think it is then up to them… to follow through.

I wish I could say more. You are obviously suffering with this. But, I hope this helps in some small way. God bless.

 

[Kathrin]

Thank you so much for your reply.

Yes, there are shelters. I also do quite a bit of volunteering and know a lot of information to pass along.

I also know that a lot of people do not want to go to a shelter. They are sometimes not very safe either.
But you are right, “sheltering the homeless” could also mean pointing them into the direction of where they can go. I had that thought earlier today.

Maybe for some reason I felt last night like I was being called to do something more personal?

It is similar with giving money. I am on such a low budget (about 20 dollars a week right now, fortunately I have friends who help me out, at least that makes up for what I give away more or less… ). Sometimes I have to tell people where to get free food instead of giving them of my very sparCe change… or even a dollar or so. Still, sometimes i do it. And God has always provided for me somehow.

Last night when I was looking out for that woman another guy came running up to me and wanted a dollar, and I asked him for what, and he said coffee, and I offered to make him some coffee (I have a microwave and instant coffee), but then he said for the bus, and I said ok I’ll walk you to the bus stop… he didn’t want that so I let him go without giving him any money…

I also know that in Jesus’ times sheltering a stranger, a traveller… that was a little bit different from today. There were no homeless shelters I think?
But still, hospitality is a very Christian value… and I just felt bad I think because I felt intruded upon, kind of… my little space, my nighttime rituals… and felt like I had to let go and be more… selfless.

But then yes, again: Safety IS a concern.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, for sharing in saying this is difficult, because yes, I guess it is…

Kathrin

 

[Kathrin]

Last night I saw her again and told her before freezing to death, in an emergency, to come knock at my door. She did so at 3.30am. I let her in. She fell asleep fast. She is ill too. 60 years old, a broken arm/wrist in a cast, and I think bronchitis too.

I told her though this had to be an absolute exception, that I didn’t even know if I was allowed to have any guests overnight…

Another moral dilemma now though: I mean, I feel i did the right thing. But did I betray the nice guy who runs the hotel???
I really felt I could trust her. My intuition is really good with people, usually. And nothing happened. She left in the morning, to try and get her situation fixed with the help of some agency or other.

Am I morally obliged to tell the landlord that I had a guest? There may have been a 10 dollar fee.I am not sure. Which I cannot afford, as my weekly spending budget is 20 dollrs, 5 of which goes for laundry.


Kathrin

 

[jbarba]

Kathrin

Are you acting out your own feelings or are you being compelled to do this by the Holy Spirit? It’s a fine line, pray for guidance and ask for discernment. We should always be compassionate and charitable to our brothers and sisters in Christ. But we need to be careful too. Are you helping a fellow Christian or are you enabling someone living in sin? Why do these people have enough money to drink in a bar? Why do they come to your house in the early hours of the morning? I used to work in a shelter; we had a few hard rules, no admitted if they were drunk, no one admitted after 10:00 P.M… When ever I help someone financially I always say take this, it is from Jesus Christ our Lord and He loves you. See Christ in others, act like Christ, ask Christ for guidance.

 

[TC2]

If they won’t go to the shelter, maybe you could buy them a blanket or two? Maybe a small bag to carry it in, and include a few other ‘necessities’?

Comb/brush
Toothbrush/paste
Mirror
Deoderant

Just thinking here.

 

[jmcrae]

Kathrin;

God bless you, sweetie!!

No, Jesus does not mean for you to invite strangers into your home for the night. He was speaking to the Church as a whole, and meant that, collectively, we are to make sure that everyone has a safe place to stay each night. There are helping agencies that do their best to make this a reality; we are not required to “go it alone” in this effort.

You are not required to put yourself into any danger, my dear. It is enough if you let them know where to go to get the kind of help that they need.

If you are living on only $20.00 a week, then you are also not required to buy them anything, nor to give them any money.

If you come to the place where you have money to give, you can also give it to helping agencies, rather than to every passing beggar, so that you can know that it is being used wisely to help people, rather than being wasted.

 

[Kathrin]

If they won’t go to the shelter, maybe you could buy them a blanket or two?
Just thinking here.

I have done stuff like this. Right now I have barely enough money to take care of myself though, after paying for rent and transportation I have about 20 a week.

 

[DebChris]

Talk to your pastor. They have an Urban Ministry in my city to which the various churches contribute. Urban Ministry provides food and shelter for those in need. To stay in the shelter requires adherence to specific rules. The consequences are the reverse of jail. If you don’t follow the rules, you are back on the streets. These rules include curfew and not being in the shelter during specific times of the day (so it can be cleaned). There is a special program setup for those dealing with addictions.
We are called to love above all else. That love extends to care of ourselves. We can not love others unless we first love ourselves. You are not called to be a doormat.
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say “no.” It is up to the person to accept or reject the alternatives that you offer. A person, especially one with an addiction, must reach a point where they recognize and take responsibility for their own lives. Otherwise, you are merely enabling him/her to stay in that addiction.
Again, talk to your pastor about what alternatives are available.