I was friends with my wife for years before our marriage. I was married previously and was far more dicerning what I was looking for in the person I wanted to share the rest of my life. My wife and I share many of the same ideals, dreams and desires. I “decided” to love my wife and marry her. And with the challenges she faces in our marriage, there is still not a day that goes by that I know that was the right decision! My wife has taught me truly what love is. Well, I should rephrase that maybe. The Lord has/had a plan for me, to challenge me and my ideas on what love truly is.
I should also say that I don’t want to make this seem like it was a cold and distant calculation. On the contray, I felt tremendous “electricity” when I was with my wife! I wanted to be with her always. She was the first person that popped into my head when I wanted to share something, tell her something good that happened to me or if I was down. But I also knew as perfect as she seemed for me, I knew/know that love and marriage needs to be worked on and rekindled.
There is another thread on the forum recently of a marriage in trouble. One of the posters said something to the effect of would you kill for your wife. I would reverse that and say, would you die for your spouse? My answer is simply…yes. That doesn’t just mean physically, like would you take a bullet for your wife (yes of course), but would you die and sacrifice for her as Christ did for each of us? Again, that answer is yes!
As I look back on our marriage, there were times of great joy…our wedding, children, anniversaries, just days of doing things together. Right now, there are struggles for both her and me. With that said, I am willing to die for my wife, to show her what unconditional love (or at least the best way my sinful self can demonstrate it) is. There are times of joy today as well. I see my wife beginning to see those again and trying the best that she can. I know it is my vocation to lead by example, to treat my wife with all the love and respect she deserves…and someday she will see as the Lord led me to see. I am humbled He is using me as His instrument in our marriage.
