Today I decided I will no longer identify as Catholic

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Nononony

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I wrote a post yesterday about supernatural occurrences that have been happening to me since childhood and how any time I try to speak to a member of the clergy I am told that it’s not real and I am not special. I received a number of replies. The post was closed before I could reply to thank people for the kind and helpful replies. That is part of what this post is for. Thank you for your kind replies. I found some useful information and things to consider.

It is also to announce that from this day forth I will no longer identify as Catholic. This “announcement” isn’t actually for any of you. It’s not a poke in the eye or a declaration of anger… or a rejection, or a pointing out of what “you people” did, or anything like that. It’s not meant in any sort of vile or accusatory way. It is more of a method for mourning the realization that I want to be a part of this group, this Catholic church, but I am not. I’m not welcome. My kind is simply not supported. This is a big part of my life and I can’t speak freely about who I am or what my life is about. I can’t talk about things that happen to me without being hushed or it being suggested that I explore options for my mental health. 🤨 The only way for me to take part in the life of this organization, it seems, is to ignore and hide a major part of myself and I am simply not able to do that. I need to live more authentically than that. I’ve let go of a lot of things that no longer serve me in this life, but this is the most difficult.

I just wanted to say “goodbye” to the organization I once so desperately wanted to be a part of. This is the best way for me to do this, as a declaration in my off-line life to relatives or friends would result in a lot of drama none of us need, so thank you for kindly allowing me.

There really isn’t a need for any replies, however if you have something to say I am certainly not asking for silence. I’m just awkwardly leaving now… just like in high school. 🤣

Peace.

EDIT:

Can someone please tell me how to reply and get the gray highlighted text? I can’t figure it out, try as I might… thank you.
 
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Everyone awkwardly leaves high school.

It’s possible to be whatever you are, and not act sinfully on those feelings. It’s also possible your nearest priest might not be able to help you in the ways that you need.

There’s no changing minds, but you seem still to desire to be Catholic. It wouldn’t hurt to see a Catholic therapist, if nothing else than to get a feel for how one can be Catholic while going through and continuing to go through everything that you have been going through. A normal therapist is not what I mean here, but to have someone that could help you through and help you guide yourself in your life.

Conversion (to Catholicism, or turning toward God more specifically) isn’t frequently easy, but God doesn’t just lock people out if they put forth effort and show desire.

ETA: because of the other reply so far, I decided to look at (didn’t fully read, but caught the gist of) your previous thread. I’ve had plenty of supernatural experiences, but nothing I could have investigated by The Church. It’s surprising if you experience these things, that an investigation hasn’t taken place. Some people have very unusual gifts, and it depends on how they’re used.

There are Saints that have said they have seen dead people that are waiting in Purgatory. The memories you have might be someone else’s, and not referencing a previous life of your own. Heaven and heavenly beings experience something with knowledge much different than humans physically present on earth.

So maybe an investigation is in order, but that would require a priest recommendation to the Bishop (this part I don’t know the workings of or the process), and upward, from there. I wouldn’t lose all hope in Catholicism just because people (especially us online here) disagree or cannot substantiate your claims.

Ie Souls from Purgatory Visited These Saints| National Catholic Register
 
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Hello, thank you. Yes, without all of the history it does sound like a dramatic step, but this is probably 45 years in the making. I’ve seen a number of professionals who all say I am fine, I’m just more sensitive than most.

I simply don’t fit in the organization. Speaking freely about the experiences of my life isn’t welcome because it potentially debases teachings that are sacred, and people find it confusing though to me it all makes perfect sense.

It’s all in the other post. I do appreciate your response.
 
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I’m unsure if you were previously a practising and faithful Catholic (frequent confession and Mass, vigorous prayer life, etc.) as your other thread seemed to indicate that you weren’t Catholic (or another Christian) but your thread title here says ‘no longer Catholic’.

This is an important distinction as discernment of charisms ought to be set within a context where a person is of some intermediate spiritual maturity. For the most part, one cannot bypass the fundamentals of Catholic spirituality and instantaneously and cogently understand spiritual experiences of a supernatural nature.
 
Nononony said:
I’m not welcome.
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You are welcome, we all are. We must live by the law of God though, not our own law or what we would like to think is ok.

Try rejecting all these experiences for yourself, starting with the past life scenario, the use of chakras and other new age things.
Try living a truly holy and Catholic life, go to Mass, go to confession, confess all this to your priest and move on.
Nononony said:
🤨 The only way for me to take part in the life of this organization, it seems, is to ignore and hide a major part of myself and I am simply not able to do that.
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Everyone coming back to the church has to put aside major parts of themselves that are not holy and catholic. You are not alone there. We dont hide part of ourselves, we grow new parts and cut out the weeds, the dead growth, the stuff stopping us moving forward and walking into the love of God.
Nononony said:
I’m just awkwardly leaving now… just like in high school
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This is the issue, we have to grow into spiritual maturity and have the bravery and nounce to reject things that are not of God. When we are in high school, we think everything is new and fun and ok. When we mature as adults, we realise some of these things are not fun ,not ok and not new.

Reject reject reject. Try it.
 
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Nononony said:
Hello, thank you. Yes, without all of the history it does sound like a dramatic step, but this is probably 45 years in the making. I’ve seen a number of professionals who all say I am fine, I’m just more sensitive than most.
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 Then you should learn to discipline yourself, push aside these 'sensitive thoughts' Push aside anything not of God.
Have you heard of Contemplative Prayer? It is a prayer that many holy people and monks use. When doing it, they must push aside all thoughts , even something they think is an amazing groundbreaking earthsaving vision from God. It is a discipline that takes a life time to learn.
We try to do this when we pray. Take the Rosary, we push aside all outside thoughts and just contemplate a scene from the life of the Holy Family.
 
You would have to walk away from the eucharist. 😵
 
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OP, I read your other thread.

I really don’t understand what one thing has to do with the other. Why must you reject Catholicism because of your supernatural experiences? I don’t understand. If you honestly believe it happens ( and I believe that it can, btw) what is it you want the Church to say? What is it you are looking for from them?

And even if they remain “silent” why would that make you leave? Where are you going to go to find the Eucharist, the Real Presence? The sacraments? I don’t understand how you are willing to give them up because no one is giving you what you seek, because I don’t understand what you are looking for.

You don’t need to leave.
 
Hi IttyBitty - I think you’re right about high school. 🤣 Yeeesh!

Thank you for your response. It was very kind and well thought out. I have to admit that I’m not completely comfortable with the idea of an investigation since the standard response to my story is that I need to see a psychologist. I understand there is a protocol, but frankly with the idea that “crazy people don’t know they’re crazy” floating about the idea just doesn’t sound… like it could easily go wrong… also, I’ve tried more than once, after one or two of the more momentous and confusing experiences, to talk to clergy but they get very uncomfortable and I realize I’d need to have a very special relationship created before I could get someone to take me seriously.

Honestly, since I’ve been working around these issues for many years I am not attending services regularly, so I don’t have the relationship cultivated. I’ve worked more to cultivate my personal relationship with God. Also, because I do believe in reincarnation fully my relationship with the church is pretty complicated. I believe in it with my whole being for very compelling reasons which I don’t openly discuss because of the delicacy of the topic. I also don’t want to say anything that would debase the belief of others. But there’s no question in my mind. So it is often stated that I can’t accept the authority of the church… and that is true. I apparently have a major problem with the authority of the church.

I just simply don’t fit. I don’t know if it’s worth it to fight to prove I’m ok when I can just go off, have my relationship with God, and not have to fight to prove I’m ok.

I am going to read that link, thank you! I do learn a lot in these forums.
 
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Yes, born and raised Catholic. I am confirmed. Twelve years of schooling and then some working years in Catholic institutions after college.
 
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen
 
Hi Umamibella - HOW are you getting that highlight thing to happen? I can’t figure it out. Ha!

I have lived a fully Catholic life in the past. I did all of the things you suggested. I rejected, rejected, rejected. Begged for it to go away. This was still my experience. And it continued to develop in breadth and depth of experience. There is always the assumption that I “use” these things for “power” or somehow seek them out. I don’t “use” the chakras. They just do their thing. Not “using” them would be impossible, like not breathing. They’re a natural a part of my existence, like speaking a language. I didn’t seek it out. It simply happens.

I don’t participate in occult practices or divination. No cards, no yoga, no horoscopes, no crystals, no chanting, no drugs, no alcohol. No weird chakra meditations or beats. None of that stuff. I never have. This was happening in grade school, long before I ever knew any of those things even existed.

It does always annoy me that people imply I need to put my immaturity aside. Why is it impossible that this is how God speaks to me? And if this is how God speaks to me, wouldn’t it be understandable that I might need a community in which I could discuss it? Instead of a community that tells me that when I’m “perfect enough” and “believe enough” and reject myself enough it might go away?

I’m just so tired of defending myself any time I want to talk about my life. And yes, this is so pervasive a piece of my existence that I can’t talk about my life without it making it’s way into the conversation. You can’t tell some one about something you “just know” without telling them you just know it because you just know it without talking about how you just know things.

It’s just very complicated.
 
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Nononony said:
I also don’t want to say anything that would debase the belief of others. But there’s no question in my mind.
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That’s very considerate of you. I would actually be interested to hear what you have to say.

Sometimes people start a thread in the non-catholic religion sub-forum that goes something like “I’m a Mormon, ask me anything” or “I’m a atheist, ask me anything”. They sometimes end up being very disrespectful to the person who started the thread. But I would love to read about your experiences with reincarnation in a thread like that. You may not feel comfortable doing that. And I’m not encouraging you to do it unless you think it may help you work through some things. It would probably devolve into a flame war as per the usual custom here on CAF. On second thought, scratch that idea. Keep your spiritual business between you and God.
 
I read your other thread yesterday, and this one today. You realize that whether you’re in or out of the church there are a lot of places you won’t fit in, given your experiences? So why not stay? I don’t fit in the Catholic Church either, but it’s the Church Jesus established, so where would I go? You don’t say anything about your relationship with God, and I’d like to hear about it, if you don’t mind me asking.
 
You keep using the word “organization.” I suppose you mean the Church? Couldn’t you still remain Catholic in your heart even if you do not participate in the Church?
 
Hi 1Lord1Faith

I’ve seen those threads, I don’t think I’m up to that! Ha!
 
Hi friend, before you go, I’d like to recommend a podcast for you. It’s called

Jimmy Akin’s Mysterious World

and is where Jimmy Akin (chief apologist of Catholic Answers) explores all sorts of ‘mysterious’ topics.

Including things like psychic phenomena.

As Catholics we’re allowed to talk about these topics, as you’ll hear if you listen to the show. It’s the interpretation and ‘what now’ that can be case by case (and if you’re worried he’ll just dismiss things out of hand, don’t worry, he doesn’t).

For you I’d suggest Episodes 102 & 103 on Remote Viewing and the US government’s official experiments in this area (including results).

Jimmy discusses the topic both from the reason perspective and from the Catholic Faith perspective.

I think you might enjoy this and other episodes.
 
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Unfortunately, being a Catholic isn’t about being you, or even being the best version of you, it’s about being Christ for others. Do you know the song by Janet Jackson, “What have you done for me lately?”

Whenever you get a vision, simply sing that line and imagine Jesus asking you that question. Then see if the vision helps you to do something extra, something special.

From personal experience, we don’t get to feel too special as Catholics. We use our gifts, but they don’t give us the recognition we’d like. Being Catholic is about being humble.
 
I have had a number of spiritual experiences, experienced supernatural healing and have prayed for others and had prayers answered. It does not make me special, It does not help me answer any theological questions I may have. It does not prove that any thoughts i might have been processing at the times of the spiritual experiences were true, because sometimes i had thoughts during an experience that contadicted thoughts in another. Having experienced supernatural healing raised the issue.of other times that people were not helped or healed for me. I was always hesitant to admit these experiences to catholics because I thought they made too much of them, not too little of them.
 
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