Told I can only have one more child

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We just delivered our second daughter two weeks ago via repeat c section. The doctor was shocked when she saw how thin my uterus was and said it was transparent and she could see the baby. She said it should be a couple inches thick and mine was paper thin. We had a classical c section (cut horizontally as well as vertically) with my first daughter because of complications and now every birth in the future has to be at 37 weeks via csection to reduce the risks for uterine rupture. she sewed a patch on the uterus to reinforce it. She told me, ‘I’ll let you have one more but that’s it! You definitely can’t have like six children!’ She also told me I needed to wait awhile with my next birth to allow myself to heal.

Has anyone else been told something similar? Have you gotten a different second opinion? It’s difficult to trust some doctors who are so quick to put an end to life! I want to get a second opinion with the next birth, but how do you find a good catholic or prolife doctor that will give you a good opinion?

We are consulting with a priest about the use of nfp to space out the next birth and what to do going forward. I want to maximize our chances of having more children if god wills it, but I also want to protect my life and the life of any future children. I’m surmising nfp in this situation is justified? We haven’t actually met with our spiritual advisor yet.

Has anyone experienced a uterine rupture before?

Thanks for any advice!
 
I suggest seeking advice from a doctor affiliated with the Pope Paul VI Institute.
 
1ke said:
I suggest seeking advice from a doctor affiliated with the Pope Paul VI Institute.
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I second 1ke’s advice. PPVI is a great resource and any doctor they have trained will be happy to give you a second opinion.
 
kdmaney said:
It’s difficult to trust some doctors
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As a doctor, this scares me. This is why I see patients refusing to take their metformin, even though they have diabetes. This is why I see patients smoking right outside of the office for their COPD appointment. Nobody trusts doctors anymore. What’s up with that?

I’ve noticed that phenomenon here, except it has a weird hypocrisy to it. On some threads, especially ones involving mental health, people are encouraged to seek a health care professional, as the opinion of a licensed psychiatrist is highly regarded. However, the expertise of OB/GYNs and any doctor associated with reproductive health seems to be thrown out the window.

I understand that the patient/doctor relationship is not always established and that you *should *“shop around” for a doctor that you get along with, but there is a difference between getting a doctor that complements you and a doctor who will just say what you want to hear.

Uterine rupture is BAD. Really bad. Get a second opinion, of course, but “paper thin uterus” is a classic risk factor for rupture, as well as a slew of other problems.

If OCPs are out the question, definitely go with NFP. But get your second opinion too.
 
If the Doctor described your uterus as paper thin, and even put a patch on it, you are at higher risk of rupture. Yes, I would say NFP would be justified in this case to really heal before you become pregnant again. If you really heal and then decide to start trying again, it sounds like this doctor did feel a 3rd child wasn’t out of the question.
 
plinko said:
As a doctor, this scares me. This is why I see patients refusing to take their metformin, even though they have diabetes. This is why I see patients smoking right outside of the office for their COPD appointment. Nobody trusts doctors anymore. What’s up with that?

I’ve noticed that phenomenon here, except it has a weird hypocrisy to it. On some threads, especially ones involving mental health, people are encouraged to seek a health care professional, as the opinion of a licensed psychiatrist is highly regarded. However, the expertise of OB/GYNs and any doctor associated with reproductive health seems to be thrown out the window.

I understand that the patient/doctor relationship is not always established and that you *should *“shop around” for a doctor that you get along with, but there is a difference between getting a doctor that complements you and a doctor who will just say what you want to hear.

Uterine rupture is BAD. Really bad. Get a second opinion, of course, but “paper thin uterus” is a classic risk factor for rupture, as well as a slew of other problems.

If OCPs are out the question, definitely go with NFP. But get your second opinion too.
Click to expand...
There are lots of reasons why people don’t always trust their doctors, especially their OB/GYNs. Most of it has to do with not listening to patients generally or being dismissive, or not listening to patients desires for labor and delivery, or for other tests and procedures, for routine healthy pregnancies and deliveries.
Another reason many people don’t trust OB/GYNs is because many seem feel it is their special mission to get every woman on birth control, or that they need to educate women by putting them on birth control. Thus forcing their ideologies of family size on patients and often our children (read teens going in for physical). (Not to mention when they use misinformation to do it-I had a CNM tell me that NFP didn’t work while breastfeeding :rolleyes: This either a lie or she was just misinformed about NFP, but personally would you feel you were always getting the best advice from someone who either was misinformed about how a woman’s body works while breastfeeding, or was lying to you? I by the way successfully charted and predicted my first postpartum cycle).

Another reason is that OB/GYNs (especially) seem to do things because they benefit them instead of their patients. Induce early, or encourage elective C-sections. With my second I walked in to the hospital 6cm dilated and the CNM broke my water without even telling me. There was no medical reason she did so, but it ended up putting the baby in distress and I had to push him out before I was completely dilated. Luckily he was my second or I would have likely ended up with a emergency C-section. There is no medical evidence supporting her actions, in fact I bet there is evidence to the opposite, like there is against elective C-sections, inducing early (for non-medical needs), making women deliver on their backs, cutting the cord right away, etc.

In the OP’s case, the doctor declared that her uterus was “paper thin” but still says she can have one more child? So either the risk of rupture isn’t as bad as the doctor claims, or there is hope for some improvement after recovery, or giving reckless advice. That I think would at least warrant a second opinion, no?
 
I have never heard of a case where NFP was not justified. It is accepted by the Church, so you statement surprised me. My mother was told she would die if she had any more children, so my parents asked about sterilization and the priest said it was against the church’s teachings. My mother then went on to have three more healthy babies and will herself celebrate her 80th birthday in a week. I was one of the children my mother was encouraged not to have. I was sick at birth, but for only a short while. My mother was sick with the birth of my younger sister. After that, all were fine.
My point is that no one can predict the future. You should get a second opinion for such a serious diagnosis, but doctors cannot know for certain what will happen to you or any future children you may have. I have used NFP very successfully and think if you take the time to learn what it actually is, you too will be successful. Some people think it is the rhythm method and requires monitoring body temp but it does not. If you are able to tell when you ovulate, it is simple and effective. If you don’t you will learn how - it is very easy.
I do not have anything against doctors, as one poster expressed concern of. In today’s society, I think they are afraid of lawsuits and go overboard with warnings to avoid them. Of course a rupture can be very serious and you should research the condition you have, but nothing is 100% and you may be fine. The fact is, no one can change God’s plan for us, and if he calls you home, no amount of medical intervention will change it.
 
This thread is scaring me. I don’t think this thread should be here.

As the doctor above said, a ruptured uterus is bad, really bad. I work in blood bank a few times a month, and we’re talking transfusing many units of blood, with death still the outcome.

I hope this thread closes, because this isn’t the kind of medical condition that non-medical people should be advising others about. Anecdotal advice could kill the OP. It is entirely possible that God performed a healing miracle for a woman who was told that she might die having more children, and who went on to have more children and is still alive. But the OP may not receive a healing miracle from the Lord.

I certainly agree with a 2nd opinion from another doctor, and with consulting with the Pope Paul VI organization. The more information, the better.

But this thread is making my stomach hurt.

:eek:
 
kdmaney said:
We just delivered our second daughter two weeks ago via repeat c section. The doctor was shocked when she saw how thin my uterus was and said it was transparent and she could see the baby. She said it should be a couple inches thick and mine was paper thin. We had a classical c section (cut horizontally as well as vertically) with my first daughter because of complications and now every birth in the future has to be at 37 weeks via csection to reduce the risks for uterine rupture. she sewed a patch on the uterus to reinforce it. She told me, ‘I’ll let you have one more but that’s it! You definitely can’t have like six children!’ She also told me I needed to wait awhile with my next birth to allow myself to heal.

Has anyone else been told something similar? Have you gotten a different second opinion? It’s difficult to trust some doctors who are so quick to put an end to life! I want to get a second opinion with the next birth, but how do you find a good catholic or prolife doctor that will give you a good opinion?

We are consulting with a priest about the use of nfp to space out the next birth and what to do going forward. I want to maximize our chances of having more children if god wills it, but I also want to protect my life and the life of any future children. I’m surmising nfp in this situation is justified? We haven’t actually met with our spiritual advisor yet.

Has anyone experienced a uterine rupture before?

Thanks for any advice!
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I would recommend that you find a pro-NFP doctor if you would like to get a second opinion. You can find one here:

fertilitycare.org/

or here:

onemoresoul.com/nfp-directory

However, as others have said, I would **not **dismiss what your doctor told you.

My wife has had four c-sections, and has been told that it would be risky to have another child, by two different doctors. We are not happy about this situation, but we are resigned to using NFP to avoid conception, most probably for the remainder of my wife’s fertile years. So you are not the only one in this type of situation.
 
We cannot give medical advice on this forum, but I will say that I have a friend who was told the very same thing after her third C-section. She was told no more children. Her husband was in the OR and the doctor asked him to come and look. Her uterus was tissue paper thin. A future pregnancy for her would have been life threatening. Her poor husband was terrified. They were obviously disappointed, but her life is obviously more important than their expectations of a large family.

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. This does happen sometimes. I am so sorry it has happened to you.
 
The thread may be scary but the advice provided is sound. Don’t just look for what you want to hear. Get that second opinion but be sure to provide those doctors with all the records they need. You definitely need to provide records from during the pregnancy as well as the surgical records from the first two deliveries.

My wife had a classical cut (under the skin though, she has just a “bikini cut” at the skin level) with our first due to emergency circumstances and has to deliver at 36-37 weeks just like you. She does NOT, however, have the same “paper-thin” condition that you are describing. Our kids were born very close time-wise and it was scary. Fortunately she had healed up well and there were no complications.

Before even considering number three we provided a high-risk doctor with those surgical reports, full medical history, everything. The whole nine yards. He carefully reviewed it and said we’re fine but that we’d have to provide for a good period of recovery and a very careful review again after a third if we want to go for more than that.

Trust the doctors. They know what they’re talking about. I had to be convinced by one that my wife was OK, though still high-risk due to the original classical cut. We dealt with a placental abruption with our first and I don’t want to go anywhere near that again. Uterine rupture is even worse. Please understand you’re talking life and death here and you’re not a professional. Talk to the professionals and trust what they’re saying.
 
Thank you for the advice, personal experiences and resources. I think there may have been some miscommunication. I certainly am not disregarding what my doctor has told me. That is why I am wanting to be very cautious going forward and wanting a second opinion to solidify what she has told us, preferably from a good catholic or prolife doctor. As someone posted prior, I feel like there is such a huge push by a lot of obgyns to prevent future pregnancies vs. doing everything they can so you can have more. One of the first things they ask you is what method of birth control are you planning on using, as if having more children is a ridiculous idea. Heaven forbid you have more then two! I understand my situation is different, and we are trying to make sure we’ve explored all of our options and received the best medical advice from good doctors. I have only known my OB for the last couple months of my pregnancy and therefore would like to confirm her opinion with another doctor as I don’t know her well enough.

It is my understanding that the use of NFP needs to have the consent from a priest?

I came here looking for resources that we could use to find a good catholic doctor as well as other peoples experiences with similar situations more or less for some encouragement and support.

It was never my intention to receive medical advice from this thread and I am seeking to do whatever is in the best interest of my health and the health of a future baby, even if that means we are unable to have anymore. We have practiced nfp successfully before and will do it again if that is what God wills.

Thank you for your responses!
 
kdmaney said:
I have only known my OB for the last couple months of my pregnancy and therefore would like to confirm her opinion with another doctor as I don’t know her well enough.
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Sounds like a plan
It is my understanding that the use of NFP needs to have the consent from a priest?
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Absolutely not. Just reasons for using NFP to avoid pregnancy are determined by individual couples.
I came here looking for resources that we could use to find a good catholic doctor as well as other peoples experiences with similar situations more or less for some encouragement and support.
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Google searches for NFP-only doctors in your area may provide some help. Otherwise, I concur that a call to the Pope Paul VI Institute would be a good idea.
 
I would go along with your doctor’s advice. You can get a second opinion. fertilitycare.org/ and onemoresoul.com to find an NFP only doctor, while napro technology exists, I have not seen anything that claims they help reduce the risk of uterine rupture.

Until you get a second opinion, I would advice you practice NFP strictly. Some people stick to their luteal phase only. I would also really pray to God for grace and guidence in this situation. It can become very easy to focus solely on rules. Struggles like this have to be taken to God.

While I haven’t been in this situation, I’ve been in very morally complicated situations that deal heavily with sexual ethics. Right now I’m really studying “Love and Responsibility” hardcore. I’m done with Christopher West and all those Catholic speakers. If you find you’re struggling with the material, I’d recommend the book “How to read a book.” The author’s last name is Adler.

God bless you on your journey
 
kdmaney said:
It is my understanding that the use of NFP needs to have the consent from a priest?

!
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No, NFP is for the couple and the couple alone to discern. By all means, run it by a priest, but in the end only the couple can make the decision. Anyway, I can tell you that yes, your condition is 100% valid for NFP use.
 
plinko said:
If OCPs are out the question, definitely go with NFP. But get your second opinion too.
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This is why we don’t trust OBGYNs. They don’t understand that there is no IF when it comes to OCPs. They are ALWAYS out of the question!
 
mt_gooseberry said:
This is why we don’t trust OBGYNs. They don’t understand that there is no IF when it comes to OCPs. They are ALWAYS out of the question!
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👍👍 (I actually trust my OB, I wish she was NFP-only, but she does respect my beliefs and works according to them. Some of the nurses on the other hand…)
 
kdmaney said:
It is my understanding that the use of NFP needs to have the consent from a priest?
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This is not accurate. You do not need permission from a priest or anyone else.

Whether or not to use NFP is a discernment between husband and wife. You clearly have discerned, under the advice of your doctor, that an additional pregnancy would be dangerous. Yes, you can utilize NFP.
 
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