Too cowardly to discern

[kib]

I have been feeling a call to the religious life since 2004. The feeling has always been present except for a period of just over a year when I considered myself an atheist. My reversion was slow, and shortly after it began I started dating my current girlfriend.

I joined a vocation discernment group at my university last fall but quit after two weeks. I said I didn’t have time because of classes and other obligations. I have formed close relationships with two priests but declined offers for spiritual direction from both.

I very rarely speak with my girlfriend about this as it is understandably upsetting for her, even though she said she understands if I feel the need to end our relationship to discern. I never speak about this to my family, for some reason I feel embarrassed. A seminarian friend has invited me to a “come and see” weekend at St. Vincents Archabbey in Latrobe, Pa but I am afraid to go.

I am too much of a coward to truly discern, but when I think of what life as a priest or religious could be like, I feel excited.

I know I need to get serious about this but I am having a very difficult time doing so.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Discerning2]

I have been feeling a call to the religious life since 2004. The feeling has always been present except for a period of just over a year when I considered myself an atheist. My reversion was slow, and shortly after it began I started dating my current girlfriend.

I joined a vocation discernment group at my university last fall but quit after two weeks. I said I didn’t have time because of classes and other obligations. I have formed close relationships with two priests but declined offers for spiritual direction from both.

I very rarely speak with my girlfriend about this as it is understandably upsetting for her, even though she said she understands if I feel the need to end our relationship to discern. I never speak about this to my family, for some reason I feel embarrassed. A seminarian friend has invited me to a “come and see” weekend at St. Vincents Archabbey in Latrobe, Pa but I am afraid to go.

I am too much of a coward to truly discern, but when I think of what life as a priest or religious could be like, I feel excited.

I know I need to get serious about this but I am having a very difficult time doing so.

Thanks for reading.

Tough road with no easy answers. If you are rummaging around looking for a “signs,” contemplate your feeling that you’ve felt a call since 2004. That could be the only, but the strongest, sign you may ever have. Plus, consider this: do you want this to trouble you for the rest of your life? Think about why you may want to be a priest.

 

[kib]

Thanks for commenting. I just kind of feel “stuck” and am looking for some advice/ empathy, I guess.

I guess it would be safe to say I need to force myself to trust the Lord.

This is just a very difficult time as I have recently graduated college, which throws beginning a career into the pot.

 

[Trishie]

Extracts from John chapter 17
JESUS’ prayer for His Chosen ones

“O holy Father, protect them with Your name those whom You gave me out of the world. I entrusted to them the message You entrusted to me and they received it. They have known that in truth I came from You, they have believed that it was You who sent me. For these I pray, not for the world. Bless and consecrate them, and I consecrate myself for their sakes. I do not pray for them alone; I pray also for those who will believe in me through their word, so that they may be holy by being one as we are. And I desire, Father to have them in my company where I am to see this glory of mine in Your kingdom…”

For you and others’ who are fearful of answering the Lord’s call:

Vocations: ‘follow me’

Our God, please increase vocations to the priesthood and to religious service that meet generous, faithful commitment.

Let those whom You call, recognise Your invitation that is felt in questioning moments and is apparent in the needs of the Church and society.

Some fail to listen to Your call because they have their own life-plan, and the price of following Yours appears too high. Please assure them that only along the narrow road of prayer and loving service, is found the enduring happiness and peace that they seek.

Give them light to recognise Jesus’ call of ‘follow me’ and generosity and wisdom to consolidate their decision as they seek further direction.

Lead them into the apostolate in which You desire to employ their abilities and potential, and grant them fidelity and trust.

Make Christ’s love the reality of their lives, in love that is humble and forgiving, prayerful and self-giving, in love that is perceptive, wise, and detached, in love that is vibrant and grateful.

Dear God, please hear this prayer so that souls will not fall unharvested for lack of worthy labourers.

We thank You for the gifts of Your priests and religious to countless generations of Your people.

 

[Bob4BVM]

Thanks for commenting. I just kind of feel “stuck” and am looking for some advice/ empathy, I guess.

I guess it would be safe to say I need to force myself to trust the Lord.

This is just a very difficult time as I have recently graduated college, which throws beginning a career into the pot.

I can only say this in my experience with several good friends who are priests:
If you are looking for a way to really change the world, nothing beats the priesthood.
You have my prayers. I wish I had learned to REALLY trust God long before I did, so much of my life would have been happier / easier !

 

[vee8]

Have courage and go to the come and see weekend. Thats why it`s called “come and see” not “lets throw a black shirt and white collar on you” weekend. And as the Pope says “Dear young people. Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything. When we give ourselves to him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life.”

You might also find this article useful
lafayettecarmelites.org/god_calling.php

Ill pray that the Holy Spirit gives you the strength and courage to do Gods will.

 

[Tezza]

Thanks for commenting. I just kind of feel “stuck” and am looking for some advice/ empathy, I guess.

I guess it would be safe to say I need to force myself to trust the Lord.

This is just a very difficult time as I have recently graduated college, which throws beginning a career into the pot.

I hear you, brother. It took me, hmmm-let me think, 5 years (?) before I stuck my toe in the water and went to a Come and See for a religious Order I knew nothing about (they were way out in left field) to try and appease God and have him stop bugging me about it BTW, I love God with all my heart, so I don’t want to sound too irreverant.

I’m now at the point where I spend weeks at a time with Sisters. I’m jealous of the men of our diocese; they have a discernment house where they can live around priests and get a feel for the life while still working in the secular world before even thinking about applying to seminary. There are several I’ve heard of in the US. Might be an option for you.

Either way, it takes years to be ordained/make permanent vows, so you can sign up without signing up

I’ve spent a lot of years trying to have God in my life without having his will. It hasn’t worked for me. God is persistent. If it’s His will, He will give you the courage to get there.

I’ll keep you in prayer. Please say a prayer for me if you think about it

In Christ,
Teri

 

[Mike_Dye]

In my early life I had a calling it the priesthood and really wanted to follow my calling but life’s challenges made it difficult. Today I am married to a wonderful woman and am at peace but I still know my true calling was to be a priest. Just a word to the wise.

 

[kib]

Thanks for the advice and comments everyone. This situation is very difficult but I know I need to do something about it. I am going to contact the vocations office for my diocese tomorrow.

 

[Discerning2]

Thanks for the advice and comments everyone. This situation is very difficult but I know I need to do something about it. I am going to contact the vocations office for my diocese tomorrow.

Bravo! I too, am discerning a vocation. I’d rather not post my thoughts publicly–most people, although exceptionally supportive & kind, just don’t understand. Feel free to send a private message. Don’t be so nervous, you are not being cowardly at all! Placing yourself next to what Jesus did puts a lot in perspective. God Bless

 

[DawnInTexas]

I have been feeling a call to the religious life since 2004. The feeling has always been present except for a period of just over a year when I considered myself an atheist. My reversion was slow, and shortly after it began I started dating my current girlfriend.

I joined a vocation discernment group at my university last fall but quit after two weeks. I said I didn’t have time because of classes and other obligations. I have formed close relationships with two priests but declined offers for spiritual direction from both.

I very rarely speak with my girlfriend about this as it is understandably upsetting for her, even though she said she understands if I feel the need to end our relationship to discern. I never speak about this to my family, for some reason I feel embarrassed. A seminarian friend has invited me to a “come and see” weekend at St. Vincents Archabbey in Latrobe, Pa but I am afraid to go.

I am too much of a coward to truly discern, but when I think of what life as a priest or religious could be like, I feel excited.

I know I need to get serious about this but I am having a very difficult time doing so.

Thanks for reading.

Ask your Mother ~given to you by Our Lord while on the Cross~ to guide you, by praying the Rosary, says I. I owe my life (more than once-since I was a small child) to Our Lady of the Rosary.

I am forever amazed at hearing Priests’ stories of realizing God was calling, and then their Journey to the Priesthood.

You have free will to choose-always. Whichever path you choose—bring Glory to God. Remember always, God loves you either way. You’re His favorite soul (each soul is His favorite-not all, but each).

God Bless you.
+Peace Be With You.
-Dawn

 

[Hopemercy]

Please do not sell your marriage short? It is a holy calling. And the true one for you.

The saddest folk are those with regrets like this; that have no reality.

Any calling has to be lived out in a hard world; and thus it is always better to take the plunge and try. Because then you can walk on head high and facing reality and giving God all where He has placed you.

Not in some dream ideal like this.

Get it out of your system, simply and see what God will do.

In my early life I had a calling it the priesthood and really wanted to follow my calling but life’s challenges made it difficult. Today I am married to a wonderful woman and am at peace but I still know my true calling was to be a priest. Just a word to the wise.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

I too was fearful when I started my discernment.

Do get a spiritual director. You do not have to work on discernment stuff to start with.

Go to the “come and see” if you can get your courage up. They are not pushy at those events (at least not at the ones I went to). They are more there to help you discern.

I would also try to reconnect with the discernment group.

The ultimate goal of discernment is to find where God is Calling you to be. Not to have you end up in religious life or as a member of the clergy.

When someone finds that they are truly called to marriage they are not, and should never be, considered a failure in the vocational discernment process.

If you want to talk about anything feel free to send me a private message.

At heart I am an introvert and it is very hard for me to go to places where I do not know anyone but look where I am today. It can be done but it takes you being open to change and the possibilities.

With all that has happened in my life after doing that I would encourage you to do so.