Too long homily

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How does one relate to a priest that their homily is too long without hurting their feelings? We have a priest who is wonderful spiritually. Offers Adoration, is Marian and true to the Faith. He is quite joyful in the Faith and it is apparent in his manner and speech. As a parent however, I have very much trouble in keeping my children quiet at church. They are young so it’s to be expected but the longer the sermon is, the more stressful the time at church. I love attending Mass very much so but I now actually dread going to Mass because of the long homilies. I believe they run 10 to 15 minutes, as the Mass is about that much longer (though I suppose some of the extra time is for other parts of the Mass said more solemnly, as you can the priest really puts effort into the celebration.

I wouldn’t ask this if it wasn’t just me but also there is concern of others not even listening. The priest also jumps from one subject to another and I think this makes it hard for everyone else to follow.

I have debated telling him this several times but I believe he is quite sensitive to people’s opinions and so I could not possibly mention this.

It is sad to complain but this has become a major issue for me as a parent. I cannot focus my attention on the Mass if my children cannot sit still that long and my oldest needs to attend. He’s not obligated yet at his age but he already has a bad attitude at 6 about going to church. He doesn’t even want to go anymore.

I’d love some ideas or suggestions anyone has about the homily problem. How one could mention it. I’ve talked to the priest in the past about other subjects so I don’t even dare write an anonymous letter because I think he’d pretty much guess who it was from. 🙂
 
A homily which is 10-15 minutes long is pretty standard for masses I go to. How long are your masses typically going. When thinking about a mass being long, I think it is good to remind ourselves that Jesus hung on the cross for 3 hours. An hour a week or even an hour and a half is nothing in exchange for Christ redeeming the world.

God Bless,
Matt
 
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kaylan:
How does one relate to a priest that their homily is too long without hurting their feelings? We have a priest who is wonderful spiritually. Offers Adoration, is Marian and true to the Faith. He is quite joyful in the Faith and it is apparent in his manner and speech. As a parent however, I have very much trouble in keeping my children quiet at church. They are young so it’s to be expected but the longer the sermon is, the more stressful the time at church. I love attending Mass very much so but I now actually dread going to Mass because of the long homilies. I believe they run 10 to 15 minutes, as the Mass is about that much longer (though I suppose some of the extra time is for other parts of the Mass said more solemnly, as you can the priest really puts effort into the celebration.

I wouldn’t ask this if it wasn’t just me but also there is concern of others not even listening. The priest also jumps from one subject to another and I think this makes it hard for everyone else to follow.

I have debated telling him this several times but I believe he is quite sensitive to people’s opinions and so I could not possibly mention this.

It is sad to complain but this has become a major issue for me as a parent. I cannot focus my attention on the Mass if my children cannot sit still that long and my oldest needs to attend. He’s not obligated yet at his age but he already has a bad attitude at 6 about going to church. He doesn’t even want to go anymore.

I’d love some ideas or suggestions anyone has about the homily problem. How one could mention it. I’ve talked to the priest in the past about other subjects so I don’t even dare write an anonymous letter because I think he’d pretty much guess who it was from. 🙂
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How can a Homily be too long?
 
I don’t beleive that a homily could be near long enough at 15 min.s, especially with a priest like you’ve described.

there’s only one cure for unruly children, that’s discipline, I’ve talked with cradle catholics & I have only heard of the use of discipline( even in MASS) as being the only real effective cure.

anything beyond this, well, pray for GRACE.
 
As this thread deals with the mass, it has been moved to Liturgy and Sacraments. You should find the answers you are seeking here!
 
10-15 minutes?!! Too long? Ours are between 20 and 30, even during High Mass, which ends up lasting about 90 minutes. And large families with lots of kids attend all the time.
 
mommyjo2 said:
10-15 minutes?!! Too long? Ours are between 20 and 30, even during High Mass, which ends up lasting about 90 minutes. And large families with lots of kids attend all the time.
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I won’t say homilies last 90 minutes but certainly 10-15 minutes is what I would consider a “brief” homily and certainly nothing to fret about.
 
No, the Mass itself runs to 90 minutes including a 30 minute sermon. (just the high Mass runs this long).
 
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mommyjo2:
No, the Mass itself runs to 90 minutes including a 30 minute sermon. (just the high Mass runs this long).
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For a TLM I agree that’s about standard for a High Mass. Shorter for a Low Mass.
 
The priests homilies are too long because your love is far too short.
 
Dear Kaylan,

You mentioned that your son is 6 years old. Our parish has a “Children’s Liturgy of the Word” where the youngsters are invited to hear the gospel in the sacristy with a leader who is prepared to teach at their level. Some are even younger than your son, and judging from the smiles and eagerness portrayed on their faces when Father calls them forward, I trust they enjoy their special time apart. Can you ask your pastor to begin a similar C.L.o.W.?

This gives us adults time to enjoy the homily without distraction. Honestly, sometimes my priest is so inspired that I am disappointed to find the homily is over. You might ask the Lord to quicken your spirit to “hear” the personal message God has for you in his words. Even though there may be nothing at that moment, God can bring it to mind when it is most needed at a later time. The seeds are being planted, so to speak.

Carole
 
Our priests homilies last a good 10 minutes also. I think that’s pretty much the standard, isn’t it? I haven’t heard anything shorter anyway.
 
10-15 minutes is also the standard I’ve seen in most parishes. It actually seems quite short compared to the 20-40 minute Baptist sermons of my childhood!

Anyway, are there quiet things they could do during the homily that might keep them occupied? Maybe coloring books with church symbols (Mary, candles, Bible, etc.) in them, little church games as they get older (church word search, etc)? (I hope this isn’t a badly sacrilegious thing that I’m suggesting, but I can’t really see 4-6 year olds paying attention to a homily.)

Prayers are with you!
 
On Christmas Eve, there were many children in Mass. Father began the homily saying he would keep it short for the childrens sake. He is a marvelous priest and his short homily was about 15 minutes.

My grandchildren have been going to Mass since birth. They all behave beautifully. They HAVE too! If they act up, dad takes them to the parking lot for brief instruction on how to act in church. I don’ t think any of them have been to the parking lot more than once. I"ve seen 4 year children and up, eating cookies amd using sippy cups to occupy their time in church. From my vas exjperience, that should be for 0 to 3yr olds and then, sparingly. The old saying " children should be seen, not heard" applies to church, and places that require “quiet”. Us big people have to teach them!!

Love and peace

Mom of 5
 
The prist seems to be right about the average length of sermon. I suggest training your children to learn to sit and listen.
 
15 minutes does seem a tad long, 10 minutes however seems right on target.

What a lot of the folks who profess to like long talking are failing to consider, is that Catholics speak a hundred languages, and not everyone in attendance at a mass is going to be able to follow it, if for no other good reason.

For those who don’t understand the homily, keeping it relatively brief, helps to keep those Catholics in focus.
 
I wonder if Jesus ever had time limits?

I think the homily should be as long as the priest needs it to be to get his point across.

Just like some have difficulty understanding, some priests have difficulty conveying all that they want to in a very short amount of time.

I ponder how much time they must put in to writing those homilies and how charitable it would be to work hard at following as best we can. As for the kids, that is another matter. They need to be trained from infancy that Mass time belongs to God. I’ve seen it done so I know it is possible, but it starts by not giving an infant any undue attention during Mass, followed by training the toddler to sit through the Mass without toys. By the time they get a little older - say like 5, they are quite capable of sitting through the Mass without being entertained. Kids in my parish regularly sit through 1.5 hour Masses without an issue and the large families are not pulling their hair out. Nope, they trained those children from infancy.

As for adults, I just don’t see any reason to put any time limits on the Mass. Some are just simply in a hurry to go shopping, head to the local diner, or to make sure they get back in front of the TV or to watch the football game.
 
Kielbasi said:
15 minutes does seem a tad long, 10 minutes however seems right on target.

What a lot of the folks who profess to like long talking are failing to consider, is that Catholics speak a hundred languages, and not everyone in attendance at a mass is going to be able to follow it, if for no other good reason.

For those who don’t understand the homily, keeping it relatively brief, helps to keep those Catholics in focus.
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Oh, OK, so it is all about insuring that the parisioners are not inconveneinced by the Mass?

And, are people actually watching the clock during the homily?
 
I’ve been there, done that with my 2. I know what you’re saying about the homily. Some Sundays I felt like I was sitting there with a ticking bomb about to go off. Would Father finish the homily first or would one kid or the other erupt?

As another poster suggested, it does get better with age. Keep taking him to Mass. He is old enough to understand that the whole world does NOT revolve around him, and that the Mass is about JESUS - not about him. See if you can find the story of the Passion on his level. Read it to him. Go with the “Look what Jesus did for us” approach. And all he asks for us is one hour on Sunday?

Explain to him what adoration is and try taking him for very short periods of time.

It really sounds to me like he’s doing what he can to push your buttons. I like the sitting in a chair looking at the wall. I’ve also heard of parents who will take their child to a later Mass if their behavior wasn’t acceptable in the first Mass. That seems almost like using the Mass as punishment, so maybe the chair idea is better.

It gets better. Mine are in 3rd and 4th grade and are now altar servers. Most Sundays they could not repeat back to you much of the homily, but at least they aren’t disruptive. I tell them to try to remember one thing the priest said.

Some of my favorite homilies are very brief, because they say what they have to say and are not cluttered with a bunch of words. I can get the point and remember it.

Random thoughts, but I wouldn’t mention anything to your pastor.
 
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