Too much to handle

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I have had so much lost in the past couple of years. I lost a great friend to suicide, lost my health to some unknown illness, lost my job, lost my career, lost money to pay doctor bills, lost income, lost money in stock market, lost confidence in myself, lost ability to venture outside in peace, lost girlfriend of 5 years, lost friends, and now lost ability to enjoy life. I sacrificed so much of my life to build many of these things just to see them disappear in a flash. And the scarier part is things can still get much much worst. All I have left is family and God.

Throughout this time I kept turning to God believing that there is a greater purpose to all of this and in time things would get better and I would be that much of a better purpose. I devoted much time to prayer and learning about God. It helped for a while but now the loses are becoming too much to handle. How much can one person handle? It is said that God gives you no more than you can handle? Why does he have to push the limit?

The world is a fallen place for sure. Everyday you see how evil is spreading and growing without impedance. Today I just read an article about an Austrian woman who was kept in a cellar for 24 years and raped by her father. What greater good can come out of that? Im just having a hard time accepting a loving God who stands back and lets these things happen in the name of free will. Is Free will more important that love? Free will seems much more of a curse than a blessing. He even sent his only son to redeem this world, and the world is still a mess.

It is said that all these tribulations are to prepare ourselves for heaven. But im not sure if I can really believe that anymore. Must there be this much pain, day after day after day. It comes to a point where you look forward to death. I know many people who live without any faith in God and live quite happy lives.

Im losing hope in things ever getting better for me. Futhermore, even if I do how can one be in peace with so much horror happening around the world?

I pray everyday that God “speak” to me and let me understand his purpose, these losses, this world. But I hear nothing.

Phil
 
Praying for you, Phil…

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and in the hour of our death. Amen.
 
Child of God, free will is an act of love. If the Creator obligated or forced everyone to love and serve Him, then love, hope and faith would disapear. We would not love God, we would only fear Him and felt obligated to Him. Giving us the free will to follow Him or not, is the ultimate act of true love on His part.
About the world, well…it is not any worse than it has been in past times. All we have to do is pick up history books and find unimaginable things that humans did to each other. Keep away from so much information, it fills our hearts with animosity, despair, hopelessness etc. I’ve been where you are right now and understand how you are feeling…and it is respectable the way you feel. But you said something important, “you lost things”🤷 , "all you have left is your family and God:) ". Step back and realise how wealthy you are!!! We come into this world naked, right into the loving arms of our parents and it is not until much later that we start to get attached to “things”, eventually “things” become overwhelmingly too important to us. Saint Francis of Asissi and the brothers, many comming from wealthy families, gave things up and lived beautiful lives. Of course not all of us are to be hermits or monks, but we should see the loosing of things as an opportunity to discover the beauty of true love in its’ true essence. The process of detachment is quite painful, but when you allow yourself to be free of them, the opportunity to experience life trough its’ natural essence of love appears. Read the book of Job in the old testament, it helped me a great deal. Read books of saints that were once wealthy and gave it all up to experience only love.
If we continue to live when we loose loved ones, we should continue to live when we loose things.The first commandment is to love our God above “all things”, this even includes self love, self interests. Not an easy thing to accomplish, but yes possible. Things give us a false sence of security, we become co-dependent on things and when we loose them we suffer for them, the same way like we suffer from the loss of a loved one. detachment is a mourning process.
Now see how wealthy you are in your family and God, and yes it is scary to have money problems, because money is a good servant. What can we do?, accept the situation for what it is, we take the losses, live one day at a time and sometimes we have to say…“It Is What It Is”. I have seen my father and a good friend of mine make themselves sick with cancer, for working non stop and constantly worrying about things, being angry, frustrated etc…and you know what, now they are gone and for what? In the name of what? He hardly spent time with us, did not enjoy the grandchildren etc. Yes it is hard! we have to say it and admit it, things are difficult for way too many people now a days, but God did not put us on earth to depend on running after things. There is a greater purpose and it is always based on the simple things, not a greater project or bigger something that He’ll help us aquire.
Do not give up on life, because you have a wealth of a fortune in your own being, your family and yes God. From there we came and there we will return, but let it be His Holy will, not ours.
I will pray for you, because I was right in your shoes not too long ago, so I understand. I still have no money, no house, my mother is very ill etc. etc. But I am here, alive, letting it all fall apart around me and I am only feeling free and happier as the days go by. “It is what it is”. Now I have time to sit, look at the sky, the trees etc, I am awake and aware of my own existance and the natural beauty around me. Be rich in the love of your family and God… He is calling you, transforming you and breaking all those walls that are between you and Him.
 
Book of Job, great one!!!
You’re being asked to carry your cross and looks like so far you’ve done a great job of it, why put it down now?
You have God and family, you have everything you need!!!
Will keep you and your intentions in prayer.
 
I have put your name on my prayer list, Phil

Please, try to talk to someone who can help. A priest. A counselor. There are counselors available to those who can’t pay. Trust me, I know from experience. There’s no shame in talking to one either.

This world is not our true home, and we can never explain to ourselves or others why bad things happen. Why God allows them. We are only asked to go on in faith, and in my life, if I didn’t have faith, I’d have nothing. So I pray very hard for your faith to strengthen every day. :byzsoc: :hug1:
 
Amen to that, Galilea. I have felt the same thing as the OP. Life can seem a total tragedy at times. But, as you say, step back and look at things from a different perspective. God is really all we need. Frankly, I’ve never liked the Book of Job. I find it too depressing. I know it has a lot of good points, but I never found it “uplifting”. But, that’s just me. I will be praying for the OP daily. I know what he is going through, too. All I can say is PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. You will hear God’s Voice! I promise!
 
I see the book of Job, not as uplifting, but one of true human nature, when we are suffering. We see the truth of how the human being suffers and argues with God through the suffering. The argument may seem disrespectful, but actually in his pain Job is actually holding on to that umbelical cord as a life line of survival, telling His Creator…You are my Father, my Creator, You are God, You have all the power, help me, save me, why have You abandoned me,etc. Job was always praying, holding on to God for dear life. It is a different kind of prayer, but relistically in our fragile humanity, this is how we strugle through the pain. We hold on to God even if it is through an argument. I could be very wrong, but in my eyes, Job was praising God, He knew there was only one true God, that he believed Him and it was the only God that could save him, by delivering him out of his misery. Job allowed himself to be homeless, but he never went stealing or doing shady things to get wealth and family again. He held on to that direct communication with his Creator, until one day his Creator answered him. The Lord scolded Job for those harsh words, but gave him back ten fold for being sincere, brave through the pain and Job always recognised that the Creator had a Fatherly responsability of love towards him and he waited on the Lord to deliver. It was all done in the purest of humanity, that is why the Lord did not hold it against him.

Lord Father teach us to be brave like Job. help us to hold on to You through our pains and hurts. That we never stop calling on You for help, even if we do it like Job, as long as we hold on to that umbelical cord, because Lord…You are our Mother and our Father…We trust in You and humanly wait for yuor response.
 
Galilea,

I agree with your explanation of Job. You explained it far better than I would have. It does show our human nature and how we hold on to God with all our might. That’s what we all do. That’s all we really have - in the end. And in the end - that’s all we really need!🙂
 
I know exactly how you feel. My husband’s little tumor turned out to be pancreatic cancer. How much can we handle. Your plate is as full if not fuller than mine. Losing our house to foreclosure, loss of income due to Joe’s illness and an uncaring surgeon telling Joe he was doomed to die but could be made as comfortable as "possible. I’ve got to go to work and don’t want to leave my husband alone. God hands out so much and last week I was very angry at God for all this. Why him. Why not me? I’m much less of a person and quick to anger. Joe is the nicest person you would ever meet. How can so many BAD things happen to so many GOOD people. I pray too. I prayed for God to take me and spare Joe. I’m afraid, scared and bitter. I’m only human and those emotions run rampant although I wish they wouldn’t. I wish I could be slow to anger and much kinder. The priest told me I needed to be strong…how much more can I take. I will keep you in my prayers…God loves you and it is said that he has a plan for all of us but at times I can’t imagine what good will come out of everything. Tearfully, I write this…God does love you and Father told me today that God is right beside me through all this. God is beside you too. It’s hard I know…Keep your chin up and know that others care about you.
 
Dear God,
Phil is reaching perhaps one of the lowest points in his life. Saying he’s losing hope, Phil doesn’t recognize that the Evil One is tempting him to despair.
Dearest God in Heaven, please remove this despair. Lift up Phil’s heart to see Your Goodness - instead of losing hope by reason of the hideous things that exist in this world.

Dear God - Surround your son, Phil, with Your Love.
Give him confidence despite these dark moments in his life.
Give him hope that personal and business matters will turn around. Give him the knowledge that he’s not alone, along with me and so many - at low points in our life - crying out for Your Mercy in business, job-seeking and personal matters.

Dear God, You have said, “Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened to you” - We ask that Phil receives many visible signs of Your Graces to sustain him. We ask that Phil finds the courage to continue to seek out the jobs and future he needs; we ask that Phil learns to knock on all the right doors of life, so they may open and Your Divine Will be shown to him.

We ask this, O God in Heaven, by Thy Divine Grace, through Our Lady’s intercession and in the name of Thy Divine Son, Jesus. Amen.
 
Life can be so hard sometimes, but please take comfort in knowing that God is always there with you. I am keeping you in prayer, Phil, that God will help you through this time of trial.
 
Remember this…

If the world were perfect and
without heartbreak, then why would
any of us ever seek heaven?

Heaven is the only perfect place.
We strive to live like Jesus and
the saints so that we may one
day join them in the place where
there is no more sorrow.

I’m praying for you.
 
Phil, praying for peace and happiness for you! Keep hanging in there!
 
Phil, we are all here in your corner praying for you…
In everything, put GOD first…broken, weary, heart-broken…let him be your confidante, your friend, your strength…you lover, your consoler, your counseller!
Sometime we need to strip ourselves and surrender to our almighty father and ask him to step in and take control…
Fear and worry is not of God…we need to keep a cheerful spirit despite what and God will come forth and bring blessings upon our head.
Allow God to work miracles in your life…today!

Yes, we see all that is happening in this world…and wonder “God, where are you?”
But someone told me, there must be evil, for people to know good and GOD! I am in a similar position also. I am young and now trying to understand life. I have been praying for something for years…and nothing yet!
I still trust that God hears my prayer…and faith is the only thing we have.

Powerful father, we ask for your blessing right now, let your Holy Spirit take charge.
Mother Mary, please intercede on our behalf.
 
Phil:

Sometimes we want to undertstand and have control of everything in our life, this is something I find impossible and realized that god pushes you sometimes to the limit for you relinqus all your control in favor of abondenment to his will for you.

It seems to me that you are being purified for greater things. You mentioned many things that you have lost such as career, job, money etc which is of importance but not if your prirotize it infront of god…and god is something you can always count on.

I’m praying for you to trust in the lord and let him lead you and not try to guess an understand everything in your life. Do as best as you can and offer up everything that you cannot handle, you will realize sooner or later that you actually never lost anything really of true value.

I’m praying for you!

Prayerfully,

Renato
 
Thanks everyone for the replies and prayers. I pray with all my heart to know Gods plan and to live in peace with God.
 
Phil,

Like others have said, I have been where you are. So much of what you said has happened to me.

For me, the most difficult part was not the losses, but God’s apparent silence.

Don’t give up reaching out to Him. My experiences came close to costing me my belief in God, but in the end, the searching it led me through has given my faith roots it never would’ve had any other way.

For me, it was a decade-long journey. I tell you this not to discourage you, but to let you know that you should never give up. When you finally hear the voice of God, you will be incredibly glad you persisted, glad beyond belief.
 
You are in my prayers at this time.

To Every Thing There is a Season

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
 
First of all, Phil, I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your friend (may the Lord have mercy on his soul) and your illness.

In times like these I guess you just have to keep praying and trust in God, and pray to Our Blessed Lady too. I know it’s difficult because it seems like God does not always answer, like a one-way conversation. However, in the past, I’ve thought about something during the week and some form of answer came in one of the readings at Mass on Sunday. 🙂

I know the feeling of wishing for death, because it seems like an end to pain on Earth. (I am rather anxious about where I and my loved ones will go after death, though.) Perhaps it would help to consciously offer it up with the sacrifice of the Mass to God, through Our Lady.

I have you in my thoughts.

O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place and seal Phil and all those like him in Your Precious Blood. Please help them in their suffering; please grant them Your Mercy and the Graces they need, especially the Grace of a will united with Yours, that they may be in Your Presence in Your Heavenly Kingdom for always. Deus Gratias. Amen.

O Holy Mother Mary, please help Phil and all those who suffer; please bring them to Jesus. Thank You, Dear Mother. Amen.
 
May God help you, you poor darling. God grant that this suffering will begin to ease and you will begin to grow in happiness and blessings

**Suffering servant of God **
Dear Jesus, as Suffering Servant [Isaiah 53] You accepted all human weakness and struggle in atonement for human sin. You obtained redemption for all who choose Your ways. With You, I accept the gifts and burdens of my humanity for the sake of others’ salvation. While I endure my faults and life’s difficulties, accepting them as opportunities to grow in love and wisdom, I ask that through Your mercy I never actually sin against You or other people.

Suffering Servant of God, united with You, I offer the heartaches and failures of others’ lives and mine. Your life in me is my real self that desires and moves towards goodness and others’ welfare. Where we can only experience grief or depression before traumatic and distressing occurrences, empower us with trust in You.

Fulfil Your promise that “all shall be well” that “all manner of things shall be well.” (Jesus to Julian of Norwich) Please grant me confidence in Your merciful action even when all seems hopeless, so that like You, I will obtain numerous conversions in blessing for my life lived in service of You and others.

Jesus, even when I feel devastated or despondent, I choose to pray and try to assist others. Help me to accept humbly, without surprise or disappointment that I seem imperfect and unfruitful. Let me live Your dream of me regardless. Let me be the treasure You created me to be, for You and for anyone in my life. Please delight Yourself in me and fulfil Your will in my life despite my inadequacies and trials.

“A Christian should always remember that the value of his good works is not based on their number and excellence but on the love of God which prompts him to do these things.” (Saint John of the Cross) “Do not say, “God will consider the number of my gifts.” [Ecclesiasticus 7:9]

“Offer to God the sacrifice of never gathering any fruit. If He wills that throughout your whole life, you should feel a repugnance to suffering and humiliation—if He permits that all the flowers of your desires and of your good will should fall to the ground without any fruit appearing, do not worry. At the hour of death He will cause fruits to ripen on the tree of your soul.” (Saint Therese quoted by Celine in ‘Counsels and Reminiscences’)

O Silent God
God, we pray to You for others and ourselves, and sometimes it seems, if only for a time, a time of awful pain and loneliness, that no one is listening, that You are not there

Many have turned away, disappointed and bitter, that You have not answered their urgent prayer, their painful need for self and for others. There is no satisfactory human answer to their challenge, whatever one might say of Your ways, Your time, because their anguish or their anger is the reality they experience.

Dear God, You need no reminder, but my humanness leads me to remind You that we are human in our minds and hearts and bodies. We have little or no actual sense or knowledge of ourselves as spirit. If You do not touch us as human beings living in a physical world that we acutely experience, then who can blame anyone for losing faith and hope in You. I cannot blame those who do…but I pray for them with all my heart and life.

O silent God let us hear Your voice in the words of others, and let us be Your love spoken to them. Yet may I ask that You also speak directly to their hearts and minds with unmistakeable Love.
Please be mindful of our needs, and nurture us as we pray and seek Your healing and care. Embrace all who have lost their hope in God and prayer. God bless you, Trishie
 
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