Too scared to go to church...what do I do?

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IdiNaPut

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This makes me so frustrated because it feels such a silly thing for me to worry about.

I’ve been wanting to join an actual physical church for some time now, but for some idiotic reason nearly every time I’ve tried to do so, I become so terrified, I end up making excuses or finding some reason to talk myself out of going.

I really honestly don’t know why this has become such an issue, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. It’s not like physically being in a church is a problem given I used to go twice every Sunday to a Baptist church.

Can anyone help me?
 
That is so wonderful that you want to start going to Church! Are you Christian? Or are you seeking Christianity? If so, catholic or Protestant?
 
Oops! I just saw your last paragraph says you have been raised Baptist! :o

Easter is a perfect time to get back to a Church. Many people attending haven’t gone regularly through the year either! So you won’t be alone there.

Are you wanting to go back to a baptist church or are you seeking something new?
 
Convert_in_99 said:
That is so wonderful that you want to start going to Church! Are you Christian? Or are you seeking Christianity? If so, catholic or Protestant?
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Zdravo! I was baptised into a Baptist church in 2007, but fell away. You could say I’m ‘returning home’ so to speak.
 
Convert_in_99 said:
Are you wanting to go back to a baptist church or are you seeking something new?
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I doubt I will return to the Baptist church. For all that I did genuinely have a good community there and some genuinely good memories, I found myself really wanting spiritually, and I found a lot of the teachings quite empty (IMO).
 
IdiNaPut said:
Zdravo! I was baptised into a Baptist church in 2007, but fell away. You could say I’m ‘returning home’ so to speak.
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Okay then! 🙂 Again, Easter is the perfect time to start going to Church again because many are there to do the same. It’s athursday evening here in the US so there are two full days ahead to search for a baptist church with an Easter morning service. Just pick one and go. Many Protestant churches here have signs to say what time their services are. Or simply look up baptist churches in your area. If you like the church you attend then try to talk to someone who goes there and see if you can’t make a new Christian friend or two. Please post back here to let us know how it went! 🙂
 
IdiNaPut said:
I doubt I will return to the Baptist church. For all that I did genuinely have a good community there and some genuinely good memories, I found myself really wanting spiritually, and I found a lot of the teachings quite empty (IMO).
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Oh ok then. Do you wish to try another Protestant denomination or you are always welcome to attend your local Catholic Church if you need something a little meatier this time around! 😉
 
I have found comfort in going to mass during the week, early in the morning, at a monastery chapel. For me, it felt more genuine than being in a large crowd on Sunday. I felt there were distractions in large gatherings. I was able to concentrate more as part of a smaller gathering.
 
Why don’t you go when you know they are not having Mass.

Most churches are open so people can go and pray anytime. You can go, walk in, get a lay of the land so to speak. It will be pretty much vacant. If you see a Priest or someone else just introduce yourself. But more than likely you won’t see anyone and nobody will bother you.

It might just be going into a new place that seems so foreign to you may be the issue.
 
Unfortunately many Catholic churches have to be locked when there is no Mass being celebrated, because of malicious mischief.
 
Hi IdiNaPut,
Just guessing here - - if you’re on Catholic answers, are you interested in learning more about the Catholic Church? I don’t know if you are familiar with attending Mass. If you have any Catholic friends, maybe you could ask to go with them at first. Or, if you want to try going to Mass by yourself, don’t worry about feeling conspicuous, or that you “shouldn’t” be there if you’re not Catholic. A lot of us converts felt that way - - that we would stick out because we didn’t know quite what to do, or we would be really noticeable if we didn’t go up for communion.
I think you can feel assured that people won’t notice you too much - - they might assume that you are visiting, or any number of things. I would just sit near the back, and consider trying to visit a few different parishes, until you find one that seems right for you! Also, you may have some anti-Catholic feeling in your background or family. Don’t worry – - they don’t have to know, until you want to tell them!
Good luck - - it’s worth trying!! 🙂 Like people said, Easter is a great time to return to the Church of your choice!
 
We Catholics don’t bite… normally:eek:
Seriously, come, sit in the back pew with the ushers, you need not stand, kneel, etc… , unless you want to, you should not go to receive communion yet and no-one in the back pews is going to notice one bit.

Easter Vigil is the highest Mass of the year for us, many Churches “pull out all the stops”
Fire, Candles, Incense… :love: Of course, I’m a convert; thus, the Easter Vigil is like a Birthday for me.

If you are in the US go to www.masstimes.org to find the normal times and locations for a Church near you. With this being Holy Thursday, the Church and Rectory will be closed so you may not be able to call and get the time for this Saturday’s Mass; however, stop by the Church close to sundown/twilight in your area Saturday and you’ll most likely be right on time for the Mass.

Pray about looking into the RCIA program for your local Parish too.
 
Anything in particular that you are worried about?

Like any unfamiliar environment or situation, giving yourself more information always reduces anxiety.
 
You should pray about this–that you know the reason for your fear and are able to overcome it. I will pray for you.
 
I have noticed something about myself: that I can talk myself out of things. If I feel a little bit… fearful, tired, sick or whatever, suddenly it looms large before me! If I give in, it’s like agreeing that it is something to give in to, and the next time it happens, it feels much worse. If I don’t give in, then it becomes smaller and at some point disappears.

So I recommend that you ask yourself what is the worst that could happen? You won’t knock anything over on the altar; even if you do faint during the service, well, you’ll be unconscious and it won’t bother you. Etc. You kind if have to figure out what the rock-bottom problem is and see that it is a silly fear blown up and covered with any other slly idea your imagination could tack on.

And as for Catholic churces, yes there are regular things they do, bit we’re messy enough abiut them so notice will notice someone’s being a little slow to do something. And here is where rhe “lack of fellowship” works iut so well: probably no one will notice you, they will be paying attention to Go rather than paying attention to others around them, and if they are not, they are doing the wrong thing.

Hsve s blessed Easter 🙂
 
IdiNaPut said:
This makes me so frustrated because it feels such a silly thing for me to worry about.

I’ve been wanting to join an actual physical church for some time now, but for some idiotic reason nearly every time I’ve tried to do so, I become so terrified, I end up making excuses or finding some reason to talk myself out of going.

I really honestly don’t know why this has become such an issue, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. It’s not like physically being in a church is a problem given I used to go twice every Sunday to a Baptist church.

Can anyone help me?
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I’m assuming you’re talking about the Catholic Church, since you say you used to go twice a day to a Baptist Church.

The Catholic Church can be a forbidding place for Protestants and non-believers. The devil’s at work too, since he doesn’t want people to go, or you never know what might happen.

Frankly, you’re just going to have to bite the bullet and go. As a first timer, sit near rear door, with your back to the wall and next to the aisle so you’re not trapped, note where all the exits are, wear your running shoes and a face mask with a moustache (google.com.au/search?q=face+mask+with+moustache&biw=1366&bih=589&tbm=isch&imgil=EW-Kin-nRKOh4M%253A%253BdDeUGw18pNhIiM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.dinodirect.com%25252Fmask-halloween-masquerade-ball-moustache.html&source=iu&pf=m&fir=EW-Kin-nRKOh4M%253A%252CdDeUGw18pNhIiM%252C_&usg=__Un4F20iRoDpRMzv-AJBgDOT9_ec%3D&ved=0CC8Qyjc&ei=FWseVZayG8fq8AXrxYGQCA#imgrc=EW-Kin-nRKOh4M%253A%3BdDeUGw18pNhIiM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fp.lefux.com%252F61%252F20110711%252FA2719000LR%252Fmask-halloween-masquerade-ball-moustache-1480069-Gallay.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.dinodirect.com%252Fmask-halloween-masquerade-ball-moustache.html%3B450%3B450).

Just kidding!

Seriously though, the first time all you have to do is copy what everyone else does, if imperfectly. Stand when they stand, kneel when they kneel etc. We even say the Lord’s prayer, except the final doxology (“yours is the kingdom etc.”) is said separately a bit later. The reason is that if you look up the Lord’s Prayer (or as we call it, the “Our Father”) in the Bible, you’ll find the doxology isn’t there. It was added later.

The only thing you can’t do is take communion. While you can go forward for a blessing, I’d suggest you just stay seated the first time.

Basically you’re just going to have to overcome your fear and go. Once you do go, you’ll realise your fear is entirely groundless.
 
This is how I would attend a “new to me” church. The unknown can be very frightening and frustrating.

So first, ask God to be with you on this journey. Then, identify the church you want to attend. Drive or walk around the church first. If there is a bench nearby, have a seat and get used to the building and its surroundings. Next walk to the door and check if it’s unlocked. If it is, walk in. If there is a mass being celebrated, just hang around the back or slip into a back pew. If the church is empty, just sit and observe the set up. You’ll probably see a crucifix at the front of the church and an altar. You’ll probably also see on the side walls 14 plaques / pictures depicting the Stations of the Cross (the story of Jesus’ crucifixion). Be sure to look for any literature displays in the entry area. Take a few to read.

Praying your next attempt will be fruitful.

God Bless You.
 
I understand how you feel. I’ve been Catholic my whole life but didn’t start really going to church until later on. The first time I was a block away from the church when I almost was ready to turn back and leave. I’m not quite sure what made me so anxious----but I prayed for courage and God really helped me, and every time it got better. I sat closer to the back and just copied what everyone else was doing. It took me a long time to get comfortable but now if I can find the time and there’s a Catholic church in the area, I don’t hestitate to go in, even if I’ve never been to that particular church before.
Don’t worry about doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. People either won’t notice or will be happy that someone new is there! Or they will understand because people make mistakes all the time. even regular Mass goers slip up!

You are in my prayers!
 
Dobro jutro everyone and thank you all for the answers. Some very good (and even a couple of funny) responses!

I actually did plan to go to Mass his morning, but ended up oversleeping and missing it. 😦 However there’s a weekday service at one church nearby, so I’m hoping to go on Wednesday.
 
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