Too ugly for love?

[adamhovey1988]

So this is my first post. I have been lurking around for a while

so this post sounds childish but i need to vent!

earlier today, I heard a group of boys rating the girls…I was rated poorly, someone made a comment that while I’m fun to talk to, I was “too ugly for love” thaaaaaat really hurt me for obvious reasons. I know I’m no looker, and I feel like I am judged and shamed because I’m not pretty enough for them…but I feel so upset because people tell you these things don’t matter. but it does.

i obviously don’t want to date guys who rate other girls like this…but can i ask if anyone here that will date a…um homely looking person? people talk about inner beauty but they want both…

and is there anything i can do? I do try to groom myself nicely and i try to be a good person all the time, but unless I go for plastic surgery, I feel like I’m just doomed. lol

DON’T get plastic surgery. That opens the door to vanity. So what if they don’t like the way you look? I have a big nose and a bit of a gut, but do you know what? I am fine with it. (The gut is significantly smaller than it was). Yeah, I’m not looker, but some women find me funny (maybe they mean funny looking!), and many folks think I’m really nice (have I got news for them). Would you have felt upset if you hadn’t heard them? My advice: Pray for them

 

[AdamP88]

So this is my first post. I have been lurking around for a while

so this post sounds childish but i need to vent!

earlier today, I heard a group of boys rating the girls…I was rated poorly, someone made a comment that while I’m fun to talk to, I was “too ugly for love” thaaaaaat really hurt me for obvious reasons. I know I’m no looker, and I feel like I am judged and shamed because I’m not pretty enough for them…but I feel so upset because people tell you these things don’t matter. but it does.

i obviously don’t want to date guys who rate other girls like this…but can i ask if anyone here that will date a…um homely looking person? people talk about inner beauty but they want both…

and is there anything i can do? I do try to groom myself nicely and i try to be a good person all the time, but unless I go for plastic surgery, I feel like I’m just doomed. lol

Little turds by the sound of it. I wouldn’t pay attention to anything they say. You’re a person made in God’s image and likeness. You think God makes rubbish? No. You should realise that the problem is THEM and their objectification of women, not you.

 

[AdamP88]

Hi, I’m sorry to hear about what happened to you and how you’re feeling. I didn’t read through all the replies but, I just wanted to say that true love isn’t about looks and when you find the right person they will think you are the most beautiful girl in the world!

God loves you so much. I’ll think you will find when you just focus on God and feeling good about yourself, the right guy in your life will find that really attractive.

As, a man who has a heart after the Lord, I can say there is nothing more attractive than a woman who loves God and has a good heart. That’s what attracted me so much to my fiance, not just looks.

God bless you!

And this. Well said Jason!

 

[faithsmind]

Just wanted to say I’m so touched by all the replies here, especially from the men. So, even if the OP doesn’t reply, I wanted to say thanks. I hope she takes it to .

 

[nikathecat]

I’m a faithful Catholic and I already sent some prayers to God in soon time you will find someone who greatly loves you.

 

[ashleyxo]

As, a man who has a heart after the Lord, I can say there is nothing more attractive than a woman who loves God and has a good heart. That’s what attracted me so much to my fiance, not just looks.

God bless you!

not just looks, but i’m sure it has a part to play right?

DON’T get plastic surgery. That opens the door to vanity. So what if they don’t like the way you look? I have a big nose and a bit of a gut, but do you know what? I am fine with it. (The gut is significantly smaller than it was). Yeah, I’m not looker, but some women find me funny (maybe they mean funny looking!), and many folks think I’m really nice (have I got news for them). Would you have felt upset if you hadn’t heard them? My advice: Pray for them

i was upset before this, it was just basically a reminder

Little turds by the sound of it. I wouldn’t pay attention to anything they say. You’re a person made in God’s image and likeness. You think God makes rubbish? No. You should realise that the problem is THEM and their objectification of women, not you.

Thanks for the replies.

I do not mean to insult god but I don’t believe that im beautiful just because god made me. not everyone is physically beautiful,some people look average or worse and i fall into the worse category. i feel like good men still won’t date ugly people…if they have a choice of a better looking person they would go for it…who would be with someone they are disgusted by? im not plain at all…i’m just ugly.

i mean…if there is a pretty girl and an ugly girl, someone who is disfigured maybe (or objectively ugly). both are lovely people, both like a guy. why would he pick the ugly one? that’s my problem. there are a lot of nice girls out there with a nice face

 

[ashleyxo]

Same girl saaaame.

I have an odd face and I’m planning to have some surgery to fix it if I have money to do so of course. I was supposed to have the surgery when I was little but my dad thought it would be a better idea to not have it

How old are you? Are you still in school? Then throw yourself into your work, focus on something you can be a 10 at. It can be helping out younger students with their work, doing math, painting, anything. It doesn’t mean you won’t feel the pain when you look in the mirror, but you will hopefully think less about it…

I don’t know if it’s healthy but I always tried to compensate it. For me being ‘smart’ was it…sadly now I’m average in my work. You can make being kind/funny/etc your thing. That can give you a shred of confidence? while I was busy crying over food and mirrors, i knew that being smart was the first thing people in my class think of me, and that helped a little.

To answer your question…yes majority of guys will go for the pretty ones who have inner beauty, as opposed to ugly ones with inner beauty.

i do get decent grades…not the best tho…i don’t have a talent or skill. i don’t even know what I want to be. I like reading and watching movies…but most books/movies I like are usually romance and of course, the women and men are gorgeous

 

[redbetta]

What exactly about you is it that you think is ugly? Some of us might be able to offer suggestions. Also, how old are you?

Different guys are attracted to different things. There is probably something about you that meets someone’s tastes.

 

[Nemm]

Another point - you’re too young to worry about finding love yet. I’m 24 and don’t feel ready because of work and study.
Looks can change over time, Focus on other things right now such as school, your faith and being a good person.

 

[ashleyxo]

What exactly about you is it that you think is ugly? Some of us might be able to offer suggestions. Also, how old are you?

Different guys are attracted to different things. There is probably something about you that meets someone’s tastes.

i don’t think so…

i don’t know how to describe it. it’s like my features are not cohesive? it just doesn’t look good altogether

 

[ashleyxo]

Another point - you’re too young to worry about finding love yet. I’m 24 and don’t feel ready because of work and study.
Looks can change over time, Focus on other things right now such as school, your faith and being a good person.

i know…i’m just scared that i will work and work and miss out my chance

 

[Lea101]

i don’t think so…

i don’t know how to describe it. it’s like my features are not cohesive? it just doesn’t look good altogether

Usually when people say this…they are probably pretty lol! (or plain at least…but hey, most models are plain) It’s probably typical insecurity…don’t let it cripple you. Guys this age (assuming you are young/around the same age as me, sorry i didn’t read all the posts) are shallow. But hey, they did say that you are fun to talk to. Do you know how many people are fun to talk to? Not many!

Dooon’t go for plastic surgery, pretty sure there is nothing wrong with your face. I just googled the surgery (for my eye) I wanted to get in the future…and because God has cursed me with a congenital condition…I just found out that I can never look normal, even after surgery. Surgery will only help a bit. Yeesh. Maybe that’s why my dad said no. My point is that you probably have normal features and you look perfectly fine. Think of that as a blessing. Don’t mess that up. If it reeeally bothers you, a little contouring hurts nobody! But relax.

As for the other reply you gave-you can be hardworking and find love. It’s 2016. As long as you have time to spend, you can find somebody.

 

[AdamP88]

I do not mean to insult god but I don’t believe that im beautiful just because god made me. not everyone is physically beautiful,some people look average or worse and i fall into the worse category. i feel like good men still won’t date ugly people…if they have a choice of a better looking person they would go for it…who would be with someone they are disgusted by? im not plain at all…i’m just ugly.

i mean…if there is a pretty girl and an ugly girl, someone who is disfigured maybe (or objectively ugly). both are lovely people, both like a guy. why would he pick the ugly one? that’s my problem. there are a lot of nice girls out there with a nice face

Let me tell you…when I was praying for a future Mrs. AdamPeter, I never once prayed that she’d be beautiful. I prayed for a Catholic lady who would want to raise Catholic kids and who would be a good partner in life. In any case, I got to know her and love her very well before we ever met in person. I knew I loved her and I didn’t care what she looked like.

Actually, she still tells me that she feels ugly sometimes. My response is always the same. WHAT!!! YOU DARE TO CONTRADICT ME!!!

Seriously though…When you meet the right guy you’ll be beautiful to him. And what’s more, he’ll make you feel like you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.
And in fairness, I actually do think that everything God made has beauty.

 

[matthewww]

you might not be ugly…young guys think the standard is “Beyonce”

guys also think girls without makeup are ugly…because they are too used to seeing made up faces all the time!

do you really trust their opinion?

ok but assuming you are ugly…like ugly in the objective way…

you can’t do anything about it. you move on

you can still find love…but don’t take this to mean that you will get a hot man…I find that with my friends who lament about being single because they are ugly…they reject people who are ugly in their eyes.

young girls are guilty of this too. think of all the popular romance books…plain jane meets super sexy guy. for some magical reason, super sexy guy is obsessed over plain jane.

If I were to speak 100 percent truthfully…yes I would not have dated my wife is she was “objectively ugly”, I wouldn’t have approached her and chased her. I know people say stuff like “you wouldn’t approach the ugly girl even if she was a great person” and how guys will approach the pretty ones and then the ugly one if desperate. Sad to say, it was true in my case. I had a huge crush on my wife and acted on it. I probably ignored many homely looking women who are awesome.

but that shouldn’t worry you. Yes, an awesome character cannot be seen across the room, guys won’t approach you because they cannot see the inner beauty. So** walk across the room! Show them!**

 

[ashleyxo]

Usually when people say this…they are probably pretty lol! (or plain at least…but hey, most models are plain) It’s probably typical insecurity…don’t let it cripple you. Guys this age (assuming you are young/around the same age as me, sorry i didn’t read all the posts) are shallow. But hey, they did say that you are fun to talk to. Do you know how many people are fun to talk to? Not many!

Dooon’t go for plastic surgery, pretty sure there is nothing wrong with your face. I just googled the surgery (for my eye) I wanted to get in the future…and because God has cursed me with a congenital condition…I just found out that I can never look normal, even after surgery. Surgery will only help a bit. Yeesh. Maybe that’s why my dad said no. My point is that you probably have normal features and you look perfectly fine. Think of that as a blessing. Don’t mess that up. If it reeeally bothers you, a little contouring hurts nobody! But relax.

As for the other reply you gave-you can be hardworking and find love. It’s 2016. As long as you have time to spend, you can find somebody.

sorry about that, that must suck…maybe makeup can hide it?

not really thinking about plastic surgery…it feels like an option i would take when I’m making my own money

 

[Lea101]

sorry about that, that must suck…maybe makeup can hide it?

not really thinking about plastic surgery…it feels like an option i would take when I’m making my own money

makeup brings attention to it my mom used to tell me that besides mascara, i should leave it alone because it’ll look obvious so now I basically avoid eye contact with people, look down when I walk and avoid having pictures taken. working so far…some people think I look normal

good. would be a waste of money!!

 

[redbetta]

i don’t think so…

i don’t know how to describe it. it’s like my features are not cohesive? it just doesn’t look good altogether

Facial features or overall body? Makeup or glasses could help accentuate facial features that seem lacking and hide ones that stick out. If it’s body, the right clothing can do the same thing. I know you can’t spot reduce areas that you think are too fat: if you try to lose weight, you generally don’t have any say where the weight will come off. But, you can tone specific places.