I could care less about college, I’ve seen married couples do the college thing. What’s more important is how serious you are…ignore the mushy gushy feelings, when you get into a horrible fight, can you at-the-end-of-the-day come together and resolve your differences?
My advice is, ask how committed you two are, cause if you truly are…college won’t mean jack-diddly-squat.
This garbage about “wait before you get married” is more secularism junk. It is designed to brainwash you into thinking, ‘there is something better out there’ if you just wait…then the years pass by, ----that great guy/girl has already left you married and had a family---- and you find yourself 40 and wondering “Where did all the good men/women go, Why am I still alone and miserable?”.
If you two are serious, get married. Cause trust me dealing with college is peanuts compared to dealing with a spouse dying of cancer.
Austenbosten: nope! I admire your gumption and passion, but quite frankly that is the worst advice you could give anyone anywhere. A college degree, for a young man pursuing a young woman in marriage, is quite important. Just
as well as “serious” love. I bid thee to read further…
Ironman, if you truly are serious about the girl, and I can tell you are, it would be the serious thing to make sure you had 1) a college degree, 2) a stable source of income, and 3) some form of a physical environment (
of your own) in which you could support your dearly beloved
before you proposed. If you had all the passion-filled, serious love in the world, it would still be the most unloving thing to immaturely throw caution to the wind and not already have settled the means by which you can physically and financially support your future wife, who depends on you. The man of the house is the leader, protector and
provider. He is not 5 year old spider-man jumping off the Empire State Building without life insurance or a place to land “for love!” A man, who is a MAN, will have some amount of stability, security, and steady support (all wrapped-up and ribbon-tied in a pretty basket, of course) for his woman before he pulls out the ring. Talk about romantic
fans self with palm of hand Practicality and prudence are not vices, my friend.
So I’ll stress the point once more: TRUE MEN PREPARE FOR LIFELONG MARRIAGE BY ESTABLISHING HIRE-ABLE CREDENTIALS AND A STABLE INCOME BEFORE PROPOSING TO THEIR WOMEN.
In doing so they love seriously, dying to themselves in the daily grind (or by maybe waiting an extra year or two in order to prepare for such a marriage-- {what will it hurt?}) just as Christ died for and loved His own Bride, the Church. It will pay off big-time once married life begins to “strips the eyes of rose-colored glasses”–as a wise Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said–and reality, banality and the mundane begin to settle in (not that all of married life is mundane, just that we humans will never find our full happiness in this life, and must ultimately bear the crosses of dissatisfaction of the flesh until we pass into the next!) As Our Lord once said: “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?” Luke 14:28 Do you not owe it to your future wife to first sit down and calculate if you are even able to support her in a lifelong marriage at all? Baby step 1: Get the degree. Baby step 2: Get the job. Baby step 3: Build the support. Case closed. (P.S.These are the musings of a 22 year old female college student who is dating a young man getting financially ready to ask my own hand in marriage! (in a couple years of course), so I’m in your girlfriend’s situation. Hint: we women desire stability, security and maturity, no matter how love-struck and in a rush to tie the knot! You men should know that in this is our ultimate good.)
Quick plug for something I think you’d benefit from: Check out Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University:
daveramsey.com/fpu/home/?s_kwcid=TC|6886|financial%20peace%20university||S|p|4901617826&gclid=CJ7A4J2r3LACFQ-Ahwod9Vjs2w I’m taking the full course now and it’s changing my life and my entire perspective about money, hard work, and waiting to win the prize rather than grasping at it too prematurely and falling into not only debt but financial slavery. Money fights are deemed the #1 cause of divorces in the United States. This will be the most practical decision you could make regarding planning for you and your future wife’s married future.
Good luck and God bless.
P.S. and last piece of advice!: Talk with your priest! He’s a lot smarter and wiser than the rest of us and knows your situation better. I’ve found that sometimes forums are too lacking in the little details and nuances that can sometimes influence otherwise good advice. Baby Step 1.5: talk to a wise and holy priest-friend!
But you both need to have some practical understanding / experience in managing finances. If things are going to be tight from the get go, I would suggest you start putting together a budget now. Your income will answer many of the questions you posed…when to get married…cost of wedding…where to live…etc.