P
pawel15
Guest
I am a practising catholic, im 19 years of age and still not very sure what to do with the rest of my life. I have always been a staunch beleiver in God and defended the existence of Jesus Christ to non-beleivers, however sometimes i found out that i was a target to watching pornography, and the devil somehow manages to lure me into it.
I knew that this was an immoral act and sometimes i can resist it for a while, even to the point (after confession) that i thought that it was out of my life for good, boy was i wrong. i simply couldn’t help myself, i usually pray to God for help, it did work, but as soon as i stopped i found that it was imposible for me to resist and in the end i was involved again,
however one night after arguing with my self to indulge in porography, i resisted and instead came onto this forum to inspire me to give it up for good. I started thinking about the preisthood and how i would much like to be a priest. the urge became stronger by the minute. when i finally went to bed i told myself i wanted to be a preist, but i was really talking to Jesus, then i cried out in astonishment, 'i’m sorry jesus for my sins, forgive me, forgive me", and then i started to cry (i never cry) very hard, however i felt a huge amount of joy come out of me, my heart leaped out in joy and was beating like crazy and my tears turned into tears of joy ( they literally pured out).
I have never experienced such joy in my life, and i knew God had just touched my heart becasue i straight away got out of bed and started to pray and thanking God for his unlimited mercifull love towards us.
This experience has left me pondering seriously about joining a seminar, i just have to have the courage to tell my family and friends.
I knew that this was an immoral act and sometimes i can resist it for a while, even to the point (after confession) that i thought that it was out of my life for good, boy was i wrong. i simply couldn’t help myself, i usually pray to God for help, it did work, but as soon as i stopped i found that it was imposible for me to resist and in the end i was involved again,
however one night after arguing with my self to indulge in porography, i resisted and instead came onto this forum to inspire me to give it up for good. I started thinking about the preisthood and how i would much like to be a priest. the urge became stronger by the minute. when i finally went to bed i told myself i wanted to be a preist, but i was really talking to Jesus, then i cried out in astonishment, 'i’m sorry jesus for my sins, forgive me, forgive me", and then i started to cry (i never cry) very hard, however i felt a huge amount of joy come out of me, my heart leaped out in joy and was beating like crazy and my tears turned into tears of joy ( they literally pured out).
I have never experienced such joy in my life, and i knew God had just touched my heart becasue i straight away got out of bed and started to pray and thanking God for his unlimited mercifull love towards us.
This experience has left me pondering seriously about joining a seminar, i just have to have the courage to tell my family and friends.