Touching Homeless People

[cmscms]

Today at smoke break, a homeless man walked by and asked me for money. So I gave him a dollar. Then he wanted to hug me. He actually was coming right at me so I stood back and screamed ‘NO’. Then he apologized and asked me to shake his hand. To which I agreed.

When I got back to my desk, I was paranoid of the germs and I used hand sanitizer immediately. Then I told this guy who sits beside me that I was a bit creeped out because I shook a homeless persons hand and I was scared of germs.

I know mother Teresa touched the leapers. But unfotunately, I am not as courageous as her. All I can think is this guy probably doesn’t wash his hands after using the washroom.

So my questions is: How would God view my immediately using hand sanitizer and telling someon I wa sfreaked out?

CM

 

[theotikos]

I think that was lack of love for your neighbor. If he was handsome and rich you would have hugged him without apprehension or disgust. Maybe you didn’t recognize that Jesus was in that person. I’m not saying I do all the time (most) but if you know what I mean.

That’s great you gave him a dollar, some people don’t help the homeless though they can.

*Edited by Klara Collins to remove promotion of unapproved private revelation. *

 

[jmcrae]

Today at smoke break, a homeless man walked by and asked me for money. So I gave him a dollar. Then he wanted to hug me. He actually was coming right at me so I stood back and screamed ‘NO’. Then he apologized and asked me to shake his hand. To which I agreed.

I can fully understand your reaction - I would have felt the same way. I think.

Sometimes, I have even given people money in order to make them go away and stop bothering me, instead of because I felt charitable towards them.

When I got back to my desk, I was paranoid of the germs and I used hand sanitizer immediately. Then I told this guy who sits beside me that I was a bit creeped out because I shook a homeless persons hand and I was scared of germs.

I know mother Teresa touched the leapers. But unfotunately, I am not as courageous as her. All I can think is this guy probably doesn’t wash his hands after using the washroom.

Actually, that may be one of the few opportunities he does have, to wash himself. Keep in mind, homeless people don’t have access to showers or bath tubs.

So my questions is: How would God view my immediately using hand sanitizer and telling someon I was sfreaked out?

It was your honest reaction. To be honest, I don’t normally hug people I don’t know, whether they are rich or poor - but there are some homeless people that I have known for years, and I do hug them, because they are my friends. I don’t normally give them any money, though …

 

[nsper7]

I think that was lack of love for your neighbor. If he was handsome and rich you would have hugged him without apprehension or disgust. Maybe you didn’t recognize that Jesus was in that person. I’m not saying I do all the time (most) but if you know what I mean. From Medugorjge see this message:

1. Medugojge is not an approved apparitions
2. I would have to disagree that this was lack of love. It is a more a case of prudence. After all, where does it say we are required to expose ourselves to someone else’s lack of hygiene–which is the reason I assume she did not want to hug the person and was concerned after shaking their hand. Where is the sin in refusing to allow someone to hug you or washing your hands after shaking hands with someone (this is actually probably a good idea in general since, when you get right down to it, how many people use the bathroom without washing their hands, scratch themselves in unmentionable areas, sneeze/cough into their hands, wipe their runny nose with the back of their hand, etc.–and a lot of people, regardless of financial background or handsomeness do this sort of stuff, but we don’t usually think about it).

While it is commendable that Mother Theresa touched lepers and other seriously ill people, it does not mean we are required to under pain of sin.

 

[vera_dicere]

Not to add to your paranoia of germs, but I’d say you’re at greater risk of lice. those things can jump about a metre. Your immune system, if in good working order, should have no trouble fighting off any “hobo germs”, but lice…

Kudos for you giving to this man.

But in all seriousness, people need to get over these stupid phobias of bacteria, its everywhere, on everyone and everything, and chances are the handle on the supermarket trolley is dirtier than the homless, in fact a lot of studies point to computer mice as being more “germ” covered than money, and money is ramp with all sorts of things.

For all you know, the person who had that dollar before you was a homeless male prostititute.

 

[Catholic90]

I think that was lack of love for your neighbor. …

That’s great you gave him a dollar, some people don’t help the homeless though they can.

Pretty harsh.

Not hugging someone in no way shows “lack of love”.

Also, not giving a homeless person money does not show lack of love either. Better to donate to a charity and then direct the homeless to the charity. Otherwise, you have no way of knowing if the money is going to alcohol, drugs, etc.

I would personally be paranoid of the hugging homeless person going through pockets or purses while hugging. After all, he’s seen where you pulled that dollar from, so if he saw more there, he might just be going for it.

 

[m134e5]

I do not blame you for not wanting to hug the homeless person. You do not know where they have been- they could be infested with lice, they could be carrying other parasites, they could have a contagious disease. It is normal to want to be cautious about touching others who you do not know- especially when they are not clean.

 

[sawman]

Well, there is always a trade off between prudence and charity. Only the OP can judge his state of mind here. I have been in similar situations and never have felt compelled to hug a homeless person. I’ve experienced a number of urges or reactions, but not an urge to hug. St. Francis was urged to hug the leper, I know that. Mother Teresa cared for the poorest and sickest, touching ,washing, lifting and blessing them. I would think the measure that ought to be considered should be; would one care for the sick, poor or whoever, by physical contact if that is what one ought to do?
Often times one needs practice to perform a task. if a person spends their entire life avoiding, out of prudence certain situations, then where will the courage, grace, and ability come from when charity overrules prudence? Can one embrace the repugnant without practice? Can one step out of their “comfort zone” without practice?I have found this to be an area that is challenging for me. Being open I guess is the most important thing. The need to be alert in our daily routines and and surroundings to God’s leading. This life is not about being comfortable, but doing good and avoiding evil. God help me in this area, please.
Peace, Tom

 

[the_phoenix]

First off, I’m not a person who is normally demonstrative, “warm and fuzzy,” “touchy feely” or anything like that. I’m more of the smile-and-wave type.

At Mass I will offer and accept the Handshake of Peace, provided that the people around me are not coughing or sneezing into their hands, picking their teeth (yep, guy next to me one time), or applying copious amounts of suntan lotion to their bare arms and legs such that the person absolutely reeked and likely had thoroughly greasy hands (yep, lady next to me one time).

I tend to accept and offer hugs more if the person wanting one seems sincere … So I have an easier time hugging children or the elderly or the developmentally disabled because they genuinely appreciate a hug. Whereas a stranger, acquaintance, or relative who wants to hug just for show, I don’t like hugging so much.

So if the homeless person looked reasonably healthy and presentable, I would likely prefer hugging the homeless person more than hugging somebody who wanted a hug just as an insincere social nicety.

Hugging is a personal thing. Best to follow the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, eh?

~~ the phoenix

who even gets shy when it comes to using the hugging emoticons
on CAF.

 

[cmscms]

The main reason I did not want to hug the homeless is because he just started charging at me and all I could think is ‘Where is he going to put his hands’ I am a woman and I am uncomfortable with men pressing their bodies agains mine in a lot of situations.

I used the hand sanitizer because I wanted to make sure I killed anything that got on my hands. But I need to be honest (gulp… swallow the pride and out with the truth). I think the main reason I made a fuss and told the guy next to me is because deep down… I wanted to show off how good I was giving to a homeless man and it was a way to do it without appearing I was doing it

So… in a nutshell. I think in the future, I should give (when I can) and either flat out refuse touch or shake hands, use the samitizer and keep my comments to myself.

CM

 

[jmcrae]

The main reason I did not want to hug the homeless is because he just started charging at me and all I could think is ‘Where is he going to put his hands’ I am a woman and I am uncomfortable with men pressing their bodies agains mine in a lot of situations.

This is perfectly understandable.

I used the hand sanitizer because I wanted to make sure I killed anything that got on my hands. But I need to be honest (gulp… swallow the pride and out with the truth). I think the main reason I made a fuss and told the guy next to me is because deep down… I wanted to show off how good I was giving to a homeless man and it was a way to do it without appearing I was doing it

So… in a nutshell. I think in the future, I should give (when I can) and either flat out refuse touch or shake hands, use the samitizer and keep my comments to myself.

It’s probably safer to just not give anything, and make sure to give instead to the agencies that can provide shelter and meals to these guys. That way, you avoid any awkward situations altogether, while still being able to feel good about yourself as a generous and kindhearted person.

 

[brandy_jo]

There is, however, nothing wrong with giving if you feel the Lord may be prompting you to. I think that if God places a needly person right in front of me and I can help that it is a valuabe opportunity to not only help in a material way but to meet that person in their humanity with the love of Christ shining through my humanity. The saints who served the poor are countless. Hopefully when we give we can all give out of true compassion and generositiy and not only to “feel good” about ourselves. We all have to strive to overcome our tendency to do the “right” thing for the wrong reasons. I do understand being hesitant to give money for fear that it be used for a less honorable purpose, but if anyone takes advantage of me the Lord will still see that I love Him in His Distressing Disguise of a poor person in the humiliating situation of asking for alms.

 

[puzzleannie]

it has nothing to do with being homeless or dirty, anyone, co-worker, friend or relative is out of bounds in hugging or touching someone who is not comfortable with that closeness and should respect one’s sensibilities.

 

[the_phoenix]

The main reason I did not want to hug the homeless is because he just started charging at me and all I could think is ‘Where is he going to put his hands’ I am a woman and I am uncomfortable with men pressing their bodies agains mine in a lot of situations.

Well yeah, I’d definitely be scared in that case! I would likely have gone into flight or fight mode at the sight of a strange man unexpectedly charging me.

 

[joe_cool]

I do not blame you for not wanting to hug the homeless person. You do not know where they have been- they could be infested with lice, they could be carrying other parasites, they could have a contagious disease. It is normal to want to be cautious about touching others who you do not know- especially when they are not clean.

Guys, this is absolutely ridiculous! You’re speaking as though they’re dogs. Whatever happened to the dignity of human life? Above all else - before they’re veterans, junkies, alcoholics, or mentally disturbed - they’re human beings and deserve to be treated as such. I mean, seriously, do you think Christ was all like “Free hugs… cept for YOU! shudder You totally need a bath. Then you can hug me!”

To the OP: here’s a simple rule of thumb. Are you a touchy-feely kind of person in normal circumstance? Handshakes, hugs, etc? If so… and you reacted this way… then you should be embarrassed. If not - then I can understand your reaction.

Fact of the matter is that these people are disenfranchised, minimized, and ostracized. If your days were spent being the subject of shooting glances, scorn, and negative talk then you would overreact just as this man did - it’s a normal human reaction: he was happy, and probably had a really bad day… and you made him happy. For a moment he felt like a human being, and made a connection to another human being: which, you shattered all to bits with your reaction to something so simple as a hug. Now he can go back to feeling like a Burakumin, or a Cagot… Thank God you were able to remind him of his position in life lest he forget himself in the future!

How dare he.

 

[sawman]

Guys, this is absolutely ridiculous! You’re speaking as though they’re dogs. Whatever happened to the dignity of human life? Above all else - before they’re veterans, junkies, alcoholics, or mentally disturbed - they’re human beings and deserve to be treated as such. I mean, seriously, do you think Christ was all like “Free hugs… cept for YOU! shudder You totally need a bath. Then you can hug me!”

To the OP: here’s a simple rule of thumb. Are you a touchy-feely kind of person in normal circumstance? Handshakes, hugs, etc? If so… and you reacted this way… then you should be embarrassed. If not - then I can understand your reaction.

Fact of the matter is that these people are disenfranchised, minimized, and ostracized. If your days were spent being the subject of shooting glances, scorn, and negative talk then you would overreact just as this man did - it’s a normal human reaction: he was happy, and probably had a really bad day… and you made him happy. For a moment he felt like a human being, and made a connection to another human being: which, you shattered all to bits with your reaction to something so simple as a hug. Now he can go back to feeling like a Burakumin, or a Cagot… Thank God you were able to remind him of his position in life lest he forget himself in the future!

How dare he.

Geeze. Tell us how you really feel, joe_cool

 

[joe_cool]

Geeze. Tell us how you really feel, joe_cool

lol… Sorry, didn’t mean to come across all vitriolic or anything… it’s just that I’m tired of watching people rob the homeless of their humanity… There’s alot of reasons why a person winds up homeless… but none of them make that person any less a human being.

My apologies to anybody that I may have offended with my previous post.

 

[jtodisco]

I can completely understand your fear, especially since you did state that you are a woman and you were taken aback by his sudden decision to give you a hug. However, I think it’s important to keep in mind that homeless people are regularly viewed and treated by others as being sub-human. They are the lepers of modern first world nations (not to say that they aren’t stigmatized in developing nations, but the visible difference between the homeless and those who have homes is a little more apparent in wealthier societies).

This man may have been so overjoyed that you were kind to him and gave him some money that he simply wanted to express his gratitude and also enjoy a brief moment of human contact. Granted, he could just as easily been a pervert wanting to “cop a feel”. But so could anyone else who would like a hug from someone. I think we sometimes assume that homeless people are bad people and that’s why they are homeless. They must have done something to end up that way which would make them a moral deviant. Again, I’m not naive, I don’t think every homeless person is an angel.

I think it’s important to remember that Jesus lived at least part of His life (arguably the most important years of His of life) “homeless”. He travelled from town to town, village to village. He probably didn’t get a chance to bath often, if at all, during those years. Also, he was poor his whole life, so he wasn’t dressed nicely either. So to be blunt, Jesus probably was a smelly, dirty looking person. I love the Lord more than anyone or anything else, I mean no disrespect by saying these things. I’m just trying to be realistic.

Also, when you think about John the Baptist, he too was “homeless”. He lived in the wilderness, and the description of his appearance isn’t exactly the description of a fortune 500 executive. Likewise, how many saints who have renounced worldy possessions appeared to outsiders as just some bum (an incident in Saint Francis of Assisi’s life comes to mind when he is turned away from a monestary early in his spiritual life due to his lowly appearance.) Keeping these images in our minds, perhaps it will make it harder for us to dismiss or be “freaked out” by the poor and homeless.

 

[joe_cool]

SPECTACULAR POINT jtodisco!

Matthew 8:19

A scribe approached and said to him, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.”
Jesus answered him, “Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head.”

 

[theotikos]

Pretty harsh.

Not hugging someone in no way shows “lack of love”.

Also, not giving a homeless person money does not show lack of love either. Better to donate to a charity and then direct the homeless to the charity. Otherwise, you have no way of knowing if the money is going to alcohol, drugs, etc.

I would personally be paranoid of the hugging homeless person going through pockets or purses while hugging. After all, he’s seen where you pulled that dollar from, so if he saw more there, he might just be going for it.

You must not know what love is. If you love someone you would not be repulsed to hug them. Harsh no I’m telling my opinion, whether its harsh for you or not, I don’t think it was the most loving thing to do. I did say that giving him a dollar was good. I’ve just seen the way people treat homeless people and it ticks me off because they are like you and me except they have no home and no one to be cared for by. Being paranoid of hugging a homeless person means you’d think they hurt you, there you go another person showing lack of love for the homeless. Its prejudice to me. I’ve talked to homeless, given them food and company and I really don’t like this pov other are taking about them as though they’re going to have a knife on them or something. I’m not replying to you anymore, I don’t want to waste my time.