touchy

[Annibc]

Hi all
I have a question. Is it true that the church considers it sinful if I touch my husband a bit, gets him a bit exited and then nothing more happens. I hope it is not so because I feel we are now finally married and able to be intimate. But we don’t always have time to sleep together or one will try to get the other person in the mood for sex by caressing and then the other person might say no. I think it is a difficult situation if we everytime we want to be intimate beforehand have to agree on going all the way. Or to me that doesn’t sound much like spontaneity and an interesting sex life. I hope you can help!

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

**As long as you don’t touch your husband with the direct intention of NOT going any further you are ok. It is up to you two to figure out when and how you are intimate… just make sure that once it is clear that things won’t go any further that it stops.

malia**

 

[Jay2]

From your post I’ll assume you’re newlyweds…
This is “one of those things” that time together will just work out for itself.

Not to go into “TMI”, but there’s few things my wife & I enjoy more than those 10 or so minutes after crawling into bed together… We snuggle/cuddle, and get a few precious minutes of “talk & alone” time before we zonk out… and sometimes the snuggling progresses…

Don’t feel that you “have to” every time you give eachother some physical attention.The tricky part is not letting your/his “touch” progress beyond a heartfelt/caring caress unless you’re willing to complete what’s been started.

(There’s nothing more frustrating to a man than being “all rev’d up” with nowhere to go.)
Like I said, this is something that time together will teach.

 

[teachccd]

Hi all
I have a question. Is it true that the church considers it sinful if I touch my husband a bit, gets him a bit exited and then nothing more happens. I hope it is not so because I feel we are now finally married and able to be intimate. But we don’t always have time to sleep together or one will try to get the other person in the mood for sex by caressing and then the other person might say no. I think it is a difficult situation if we everytime we want to be intimate beforehand have to agree on going all the way. Or to me that doesn’t sound much like spontaneity and an interesting sex life. I hope you can help!

I have been married for twenty six years. You will find , if you haven’t already, that many things that connect the two of you will create excitement. My wife and I may be taking a walk and the way that we tease each other may get me aroused. What I am getting at is that the attraction that the two of you have for each other is not limited to sexual intercourse. Yes, ultimately the greatest expression of your love for each other results in this most precious gift but you will find many times that you will have many special moments that do not end there.

I guess that I see things a little different. I feel that the unitive character of our sexual expression is not on a definite timeline. As a couple we should always know that our expression of love will take different modes. I am not deviating from Church teaching that says that the sex act must end in a way which is open to procreation. I’m merely stating that a healthy relationship includes the unitive qualities which may or may not lead to intercourse. Ultimately it will and with the kind of love that is consistantly shown brings to the forefront the beauty of this God-given gift…God Bless…teachccd

 

[mark_a]

Hi all
I have a question. Is it true that the church considers it sinful if I touch my husband a bit, gets him a bit exited and then nothing more happens. I hope it is not so because I feel we are now finally married and able to be intimate. But we don’t always have time to sleep together or one will try to get the other person in the mood for sex by caressing and then the other person might say no. I think it is a difficult situation if we everytime we want to be intimate beforehand have to agree on going all the way. Or to me that doesn’t sound much like spontaneity and an interesting sex life. I hope you can help!

I don’t know about your situation, but at our very first pre-Cana conference, our priest told us that neither the husband nor the wife should withhold “it” from the other.

He quoted some guy named Paul (from a really big book).

Follow this advice and “it” will all work out for the best.

 

[Delphinus85]

Hi all
I have a question. Is it true that the church considers it sinful if I touch my husband a bit, gets him a bit exited and then nothing more happens. I hope it is not so because I feel we are now finally married and able to be intimate. But we don’t always have time to sleep together or one will try to get the other person in the mood for sex by caressing and then the other person might say no. I think it is a difficult situation if we everytime we want to be intimate beforehand have to agree on going all the way. Or to me that doesn’t sound much like spontaneity and an interesting sex life. I hope you can help!

There is nothing wrong with that at all. Now if you DO decide to go all the way, and pull out, I am pretty sure the church won’t like that.

I would even argue that just about anything is okay! I mean, even to the point of the woman having an orgasm, as long as he doesn’t outside of you (on purpose) and why you are doing it. If it’s to avoid pregnancy, then yeah, thats not good by the church’s standards. I am a newly wed and I think I know what you mean. A lot of the time my husband and I are too tired to go all the way, and especially at first I was always too sore. Sometimes we just like to get intimate and cuddle. Besides, doing stuff like that can just build the tension for later!

the idea that every liason has to end in sex can put a lot of pressure on people. My husband and I are testament to that. The first month or two for us was hell until we could get him past it. Sometimes I think this idea is rather harmful for people, and for sexual intimacy in marriage.