Tough Decisions

[Femme1986]

Hello, all! I’m new to posting on this forum, though I’ve been reading off-and-on for a few weeks.
I have quite a conundrum on my hands and could use some advice, from a Catholic perspective:
I’m a senior at a university in the northeast, about two hours away from my home. Today, I spoke to my father, who informed me that my younger sister’s boyfriend was moving into our house (into the in-law apartment attached to the home). They’re not married, or even engaged; he’ll be moved in to our house before I arrive back from school in June and it’s already done, nothing can be changed.
I’m at a crossroads because I don’t want to have to live in this situation. It’s been incredibly difficult (at times) to remain chaste at 22 and I don’t want to have it rubbed in my face by my family every day (it’s bad enough being in a sorority!). I was planning to move back home for a year or so, to save money, but I can’t imagine sleeping in the same house again. It no longer seems like my once-welcoming home.
My question to you all is: what would you do in this situation? I’d really love to hear other peoples’ perspectives and see if I’m being irrational or not. Thanks.

 

[Blade_and_Blood]

I like the part about saving money. In this economy, you need to save as much as possible.

You shouldn’t worry about your sister’s love life. I’m sure it would be tough, but it’s not impossible to keep chaste if you really put your mind to it. Don’t underestimate yourself. If you do, you may be more likely to give in. But that’s only based on my observations at school.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

 

[SmartyPants]

Hello, all! I’m new to posting on this forum, though I’ve been reading off-and-on for a few weeks.
I have quite a conundrum on my hands and could use some advice, from a Catholic perspective:
I’m a senior at a university in the northeast, about two hours away from my home. Today, I spoke to my father, who informed me that my younger sister’s boyfriend was moving into our house (into the in-law apartment attached to the home). They’re not married, or even engaged; he’ll be moved in to our house before I arrive back from school in June and it’s already done, nothing can be changed.
I’m at a crossroads because I don’t want to have to live in this situation. It’s been incredibly difficult (at times) to remain chaste at 22 and I don’t want to have it rubbed in my face by my family every day (it’s bad enough being in a sorority!). I was planning to move back home for a year or so, to save money, but I can’t imagine sleeping in the same house again. It no longer seems like my once-welcoming home.
My question to you all is: what would you do in this situation? I’d really love to hear other peoples’ perspectives and see if I’m being irrational or not. Thanks.

I’m a bit confused. Is your sister moving into the in-law apartment WITH her boyfriend or is your sister still living in the main part of the house with the rest of the family. If it’s the latter, I don’t see a problem.

 

[Femme1986]

I’m a bit confused. Is your sister moving into the in-law apartment WITH her boyfriend or is your sister still living in the main part of the house with the rest of the family. If it’s the latter, I don’t see a problem.

Oops! Sorry about that. My sister and her boyfriend are moving into the in-law apartment attached to my house.

 

[apromisemade]

I to am a college student who doesn’t feel totally thrilled about the idea of going home for the summer (ergo me looking into summer school). There would certainly be no shame in living on your own if you can manage it. But Blade is right, one must never forget to be practical. You are not responsible for your sisters relationships and love life and if it would be more economical for you to live at home and save money, by all means, I would go with that option.

 

[RubyWannabe]

Femme,
I applaud you wanting to stay as far from temptation as possible and “abstain from the appearance of evil.” You probably had your parents’ potential disapproval as part of your motivation to remain chaste, and now that seems to have fallen away. You have a negative example at home which compounds what you see at your university. Pray that God will help you find good examples of other chaste women and that you own morals will be strong so that it doesn’t matter what your sister does or what your parents think about it. Each person’s chastity is their own gift to God. If you really feel that it will lead to sin for you, then tell your sister and family that you just don’t feel comfortable in that situation and that you need to find other lodging opportunities for the summer and however long. Seek out other women who have the same commitment to chastity, and perhaps you’ll find a godly room-mate that will help you share expenses. Or perhaps your local church/parish knows an older woman you could stay with to save some money as well. Just a few ideas…

Ruby

 

[tinalewis]

Hi Femme 1986 - just for some clarification - how does your sister and her boyfriend living together in the in-law apartment have any effect on your decision about chastity? Seems like your sister’s decision to engage in sexual relations is her own business, just as your decision not to is yours. Be yourself!

Anther quick question - how long were you planning to live at home once you moved back? And you said you were planning to move back home in a year or so? A lot can happen in a young person’s life in a year or two or three. You sister and her boyfriend could have moved to their own place long before then, or you could be in your own home long before then. Besides, a year or two is nothing compared with your entire lifetime. Wait a few months and see if the situation changes. I’m betting that with prayer, things will change.

Just some things to think about - from an old married woman.