Tough question...or maybe not

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So I had lunch today, friday, with some new coworkers, and one guy took us out to a Chinese restaurant.

I was looking to get something w/o meat in it.

The guy taking us out told us “why don’t you get the course meal”. At that time I was looking for some noodles. He said “get the course meal so we can all finish eating on the same timeline”.

So, the course meal has mostly seafood, but then some chicken.

So I’m thinking to myself, when the chicken dish comes, I can hide it or mix it around, and then let the hostess take it away.

Even before the chicken dish came out, another dish with some chicken in it came out, so I left the chicken and then buried it under a carrot.

When the real chicken dish came out, however, it was just that – a piece of chicken. Like a breast sliced up and fried.

I stared at it a bit, thinking may I could do the Jerry Seinfeld shove-it-in-the-mouth-and-spit-in-the-napkin routine, but then wasting food is not a good thing.

Also, I did not want to make a big show, like “ooh, look at me, so holy !”

So in the end, I ate it.

I am just wondering what people think of this?

I just read it is a “grave” sin. Does that mean mortal? I didn’t want to eat it, really…
 
Too much over-thinking on this one.

Simple response to coworker’s question, “I am Catholic and this is a meatless Friday.” Or even more simple. " I am not eating meat today." Any question after that is to be taken one at a time.

I have an allergy to all things bovine anyway. (That’s cows to any city slickers. :)) So it is no one’s business what I eat on what day anyway. Especially not a coworker.

If you had ordered something terribly expensive on someone else’s dime, then you would have some explaining to do. In this case it would have been best all around to just give the shortest most simple explanation. Who knows? Someone might have noticed your discomfort and not knowing you has made some false assumptions about you.

I was taught this simple phrase while growing up. “Everything you say must be the truth, but it is not necessary to say everything you know.”
 
Did I just step into the Twilight Zone?

Today is Thursday. So your angst is moot.
 
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coyote:
Did I just step into the Twilight Zone?

Today is Thursday. So your angst is moot.
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Not everyone lives in your time zone… :confused:
 
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CSN:
So I had lunch today, friday, with some new coworkers, and one guy took us out to a Chinese restaurant.

I was looking to get something w/o meat in it.

The guy taking us out told us “why don’t you get the course meal”. At that time I was looking for some noodles. He said “get the course meal so we can all finish eating on the same timeline”.

So, the course meal has mostly seafood, but then some chicken.

So I’m thinking to myself, when the chicken dish comes, I can hide it or mix it around, and then let the hostess take it away.

Even before the chicken dish came out, another dish with some chicken in it came out, so I left the chicken and then buried it under a carrot.

When the real chicken dish came out, however, it was just that – a piece of chicken. Like a breast sliced up and fried.

I stared at it a bit, thinking may I could do the Jerry Seinfeld shove-it-in-the-mouth-and-spit-in-the-napkin routine, but then wasting food is not a good thing.

Also, I did not want to make a big show, like “ooh, look at me, so holy !”

So in the end, I ate it.

I am just wondering what people think of this?

I just read it is a “grave” sin. Does that mean mortal? I didn’t want to eat it, really…
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You should simply have told them upfront that you could not eat meat and why.
Intentional failure to fast or abstain on appointed days (e.g. Fridays in Lent) is a mortal sin against the Third Commandment.
 
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CSN:
Not everyone lives in your time zone… :confused:
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Yesterday, 10:38 PM

Time zone doesn’t matter in this case. “Yesterday” was still Thursday
 
coyote said:
Yesterday, 10:38 PM

Time zone doesn’t matter in this case. “Yesterday” was still Thursday
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New Zealand and Australia are about 20 hours ahead of those of us in Mountain time zone.

I love the quote, “don’t worry that the world might end tomorrow. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” or something like that.
 
every Chinese restaurant I have ever been in has vegetarian, shrimp and fish dishes, you could just order one without comment. Or if you are doing the thing where everybody orders a dish and shares, scoop up vegetables or noodles only from the chicken or beef dishes. I always order my own meal in an oriental restaurant because I have to make sure I eat no shrimp, because I am allergic. I would not have any problems saying, no I can’t eat it I’m allergic, so why would I have a problem saying, no I can’t eat it, it’s Friday.
 
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puzzleannie:
every Chinese restaurant I have ever been in has vegetarian, shrimp and fish dishes, you could just order one without comment. Or if you are doing the thing where everybody orders a dish and shares, scoop up vegetables or noodles only from the chicken or beef dishes. I always order my own meal in an oriental restaurant because I have to make sure I eat no shrimp, because I am allergic. I would not have any problems saying, no I can’t eat it I’m allergic, so why would I have a problem saying, no I can’t eat it, it’s Friday.
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everyday’s a meatless day for me…so Lent is no challenge…I am Vegan
Kathy
 
I think you’re allowed to substitute another penance for not eating meat anyway, aren’t you? Though I wouldn’t worry about trying to hide the fact that you aren’t eating meat. You wouldn’t be trying to show off how holy you are (especially since you would only be doing what is required, not anything extra).
 
I just read it is a “grave” sin. Does that mean mortal? I didn’t want to eat it, really…
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Give me a break, a “mortal” sin? Murder, rape, child molestation- those are “mortal” sins. Meat on Friday? It’s meat on Friday. Skip meat on Saturday to make up for it and call it even!
 
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thistle:
You should simply have told them upfront that you could not eat meat and why.
Intentional failure to fast or abstain on appointed days (e.g. Fridays in Lent) is a mortal sin against the Third Commandment.
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And you will go to Hell and burn for eternity if you do not repent and confess this if you die??
 
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ReformedCatholic:
And you will go to Hell and burn for eternity if you do not repent and confess this if you die??
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What’s your dill, pickle? The person’s just asking a question.
However, is that not the technical result of unconfessed mortal sin?
 
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CSN:
I just read it is a “grave” sin. Does that mean mortal? I didn’t want to eat it, really…
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To help clear this up for you, CSN: The grave sin is not the act of eating the meat. The grave sin is the willful disregard for Church teachings. There is no mortal sin in being put in akward situatuation, failing, and coming out of it feeling bad.

In your case, there might be no sin at all. If there is a sin it would be more along the lines of “being ashamed before Christ.” I am just guessing here. I am just like you, another sinner, so I cannot judge your soul. Your actions, as you present them, I can judge. Your actions were of discomfort, shame, embarassment, etc… Those might be sins for you, I don’t know.

Eating meat on a Friday of Lent is a mortal sin if it is a deliberate action to thumb your nose at The Church. This was certainly not the case. I am curious as to the circumstances that caused you to “hide your light under a bushel” or something like that. Were these new coworkers intimidating? Did you feel that your job performance might be looked down on if they found out you are Catholic?

As I said before, don’t over-think the sin. When I get into a situation like that, I try to examine my conscience to discover if there is a an underlying problem causing me to do a seemingly unrelated sin. We need to focus on our sins, but not dwell on them. There is a difference. God wants us to focus, satan wants us to dwell.

This was probably too much of a post for a pretty simple question, but I remember being in your shoes. I still am from time to time.
 
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tcay584:
What’s your dill, pickle? The person’s just asking a question.
However, is that not the technical result of unconfessed mortal sin?
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Perhaps so, but my point was just how over-reaching the concept of “mortal” sin has over the years. First it was killing, rape, and adultery, then stuff understood to be on that magnitude- stuff that intentionally hurts people. Now, in the 21st century eating meat on a Friday can send you to eternal damnation. Can that possibly make any sense at all to a clear-thinking, rational human being?

95% of the stuff I see people worry about on this site is “venial” sin, if a sin at all.
 
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tcay584:
What’s your dill, pickle? The person’s just asking a question.
However, is that not the technical result of unconfessed mortal sin?
Click to expand...
Right, but that was directed to the absolutism of the other poster’s comment.

I like the dill pickle comment, by the way. LOL
 
Nice post Little Deb. 🙂

tcay584 ~ I’m going to start working “What’s your dill, pickle?” into my conversations.
 
Well, thank you all very much for your responses. I really appreciate them. I had no idea a chicken breast could stir so much interest. That sounded kinda weird, but oh well… 😃

Seriously, however, this situation is not a matter of scrupulosity. Nor is it a fear of workplace intimidation or shame – people at work know I’m Catholic. I simply thought I could get away with avoiding little pieces of chicken in a larger dish, but when I saw each person’s entire dish was a big chicken breast, I opted not to make a big show.

It’s about trying not to push people away with grand gestures of sanctimony. I feel like bringing people to the Catholic church is like feeding squirrels. Coaxing and persuading, not forcing something down their throats.

For example, every other person there had the exact same thing (it was a course meal, as specified by the guy buying the lunch), including one other co-worker I know is Catholic. If I asked the waiter to take the plate away, how would that make others, including him, feel?

In any event, this is no longer an issue, since I went to confession today anyway 😃 😃

Finally, I have seen people before with responses of the “gimmeabreak!!” variety when there are questions about “is this/that a sin?”. I can understand that because there is a fine balance between piety and scrupulosity. But remember this: a lot of people question why pre-marital sex is a sin, when two people feel like they love each other and would give anything in the world for each other. Since it’s not always a matter of natural common sense, a lot of people are careful not to presume to know the truth…

In any event, the slate has been wiped clean, and I am feeling grooooovy !! :cool:
 
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LittleDeb:
To help clear this up for you, CSN: The grave sin is not the act of eating the meat. The grave sin is the willful disregard for Church teachings. There is no mortal sin in being put in akward situatuation, failing, and coming out of it feeling bad.

In your case, there might be no sin at all. If there is a sin it would be more along the lines of “being ashamed before Christ.” I am just guessing here. I am just like you, another sinner, so I cannot judge your soul. Your actions, as you present them, I can judge. Your actions were of discomfort, shame, embarassment, etc… Those might be sins for you, I don’t know.

Eating meat on a Friday of Lent is a mortal sin if it is a deliberate action to thumb your nose at The Church. This was certainly not the case. I am curious as to the circumstances that caused you to “hide your light under a bushel” or something like that. Were these new coworkers intimidating? Did you feel that your job performance might be looked down on if they found out you are Catholic?

As I said before, don’t over-think the sin. When I get into a situation like that, I try to examine my conscience to discover if there is a an underlying problem causing me to do a seemingly unrelated sin. We need to focus on our sins, but not dwell on them. There is a difference. God wants us to focus, satan wants us to dwell.

This was probably too much of a post for a pretty simple question, but I remember being in your shoes. I still am from time to time.
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A special thank you for both your responses 🙂
 
CSN,

I think the root of your dilemma is the idea that obeying Church laws makes you oh-so-holy. It doesn’t; it’s a bare minimum that the Church lays out. Certainly in this society obeying Church laws is unusual, but that is a fault of our society and not of the person obeying the laws.

When Jesus warned of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them, He was not talking about obeying Church laws and engaging in corporate worship. He was talking about individual works of charity and penance that you take on yourself. It would be perfectly acceptable to tell people "It’s Lent and I am vegetarian on Fridays.

Regarding your specific question, Little Deb is right that the sin part is the disregard for the Church’s laws. You apparently were not deliberately disregarding the Church’s laws and so I wouldn’t worry about it. You might want to get to confession today anyhow, though.
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