Traditional Catholicism and feeling alone

[agnes_therese]

Welcome to the club! Most people will dislike you for being Christian. Your fellow Catholics will dislike you or avoid you like the plague. Don’t state your preference on here because if you do you will have the other side jump all over you for not adding that you see other ways equally to yours blah blah. It’s lonely no doubt, but keep your head up and try to remain in good charitable spirit. Offer the attacks and loneliness, up to Christ. Remember he was abandoned in his final hours.

I haven’t seen any of that to be true.

 

[Origen52]

I’m probably the only traditionalist in my parish. Sometimes I feel alone and in a dark place because I seem to be the only one who upholds all the teachings of the Catholic Church. But then, I remember Our Lady and Jesus is with me, who will protect me through arguments and flak I receive from Cafeteria Catholics.

It seems like traditionalists are the only ones who uphold the teachings of the Catholic Church.

Just a question, are you upholding the teachings of the church, or traditional rites and customs? The two are not the same.

 

[adawgj]

Depending on your diocese I would try to find an FSSP parish.

Yes it is tough and I feel the same way, however our priest tends to like the traditions. We have Eucharistic Adoration every month for 24 hours.

 

[bben15]

Just a question, are you upholding the teachings of the church, or traditional rites and customs? The two are not the same.

I think it’s possible to uphold the teachings of the Church, but still have traditional customs. I uphold all of the teachings of the Church.

What “traditional rites and customs” are you specifically referring to that are contrary to the Church?

 

[aTraditionalist]

agnes therese:

Quote:

Originally Posted by spartan_cop

Welcome to the club! Most people will dislike you for being Christian. Your fellow Catholics will dislike you or avoid you like the plague. Don’t state your preference on here because if you do you will have the other side jump all over you for not adding that you see other ways equally to yours blah blah. It’s lonely no doubt, but keep your head up and try to remain in good charitable spirit. Offer the attacks and loneliness, up to Christ. Remember he was abandoned in his final hours.

I haven’t seen any of that to be true.

This is kind of common in my experience. Traditionalists kind of take it from both sides IME. Lukewarm Catholics and secularists seem to both agree that we are a problem for “progress”. My favorite is that some judge us to be heretical, or better, “our own pope”. This doesn’t apply to all obviously, but it does happen with regularity.

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[OraLabora]

What “traditional rites and customs” are you specifically referring to that are contrary to the Church?

He did not say that traditional rites and customs are contrary to the Church. He said that observing them, and “upholding the teachings of the Church” are separate matters. One can follow traditional rites without being faithful to the teachings of the Church. One can be faithful to the teachings of the Church but prefer more modern rites, or one can do both or neither.

 

[bben15]

He did not say that traditional rites and customs are contrary to the Church. He said that observing them, and “upholding the teachings of the Church” are separate matters. One can follow traditional rites without being faithful to the teachings of the Church. One can be faithful to the teachings of the Church but prefer more modern rites, or one can do both or neither.

Oh, I understand now.

 

[Origen52]

He did not say that traditional rites and customs are contrary to the Church. He said that observing them, and “upholding the teachings of the Church” are separate matters. One can follow traditional rites without being faithful to the teachings of the Church. One can be faithful to the teachings of the Church but prefer more modern rites, or one can do both or neither.

Thanks, Ora that’s exactly what I meant.

 

[creed227]

I too have felt alone in my faith. I am a 3 yr old convert to Catholicism and my friends feel I joined a cult and have bad things to say about Catholics and it hurts my feelings and upsets me. I am not sure what to do or how to feel better. I love my faith and feel so strong in being a Catholic but feel so sad at the same time from all the Catholic bashing out in the world today.

 

[Cat]

OP, why don’t you make friends in the EF parish where you attend EF Mass? This seems logical to me. Ask someone out for coffee or lunch after Mass and get to know them. Or invite a few people over to your place for pizza and get to know them. Or get involved in one of the EF parish activities (choir, decorating the church for Christmas, Rosary group, etc.)

I’m hearing a lot of people on this thread saying, “Dear Lord, thank You that I am not like other people.”

One poster said, “It’s difficult not having someone on the same level.” :ehh:

Another poster said, “I’m the only one who upholds all the teachings of the Catholic Church.” :ehh:

I’m asking all of you to please consider how snotty these statements sound. Perhaps this is why you don’t have friends. I probably wouldn’t be too eager to be friends with you if I feel inferior to you and “less spiritual” than you are. :nope:

In order to have friends, you have to be a friend.

Finally, I encourage the OP to consider the possibility that they are seeking “spiritual experiences” instead of Jesus.

The OP uses the phrase “enamored of the EF.” The OP started out with charismatic experiences, and now has moved on to an EF experience.

OP, what will you move on to when the EF is no longer “spiritually fulfilling” for you? (Those are your own words about the charismatic movement.)

I urge you, I beg you, to not worry so much about your “experience” and instead, as TimothyH has wisely suggested,concentrate on knowing Christ and receiving HIM at the Mass (whatever Mass you attend). If you do this, you will have friends from traditional and contemporary Catholicism, and many Protestant friends as well!

 

[the_phoenix]

UPDATE:

For the second year in a row, a Protestant has invited me to share Thanksgiving Dinner at her house with her family. For some reason, non-Catholics seem to find me more acceptable to hang out with than Catholics do, even though I’m staunchly Catholic (or maybe because I’m staunchly Catholic) … a notable exception being Heidi, who was my best friend and a close confidante in the Catholic faith until I lost her to heart disease.

My Catholic grandfather, who was quite the Conservative, once told me that he had more Protestants for friends than Catholics, so I suppose this sort of thing does happen to other people as well.

Maybe God prefers that my friends be non-Catholic?

Seeing as how nobody here responded to the prayer request I made earlier here, well, I guess, never mind.

~~ the phoenix

What friends?

Can you please pray for me that God will provide me with some Catholic friends?

And yes, I’ve done the whole reaching out to people at Donut Sunday, getting actively involved in my parish, and attending Christ Renews His Parish renewal weekends … over and over again.

Thank you,

~~ the phoenix

 

[rivera01]

OP, why don’t you make friends in the EF parish where you attend EF Mass? This seems logical to me. Ask someone out for coffee or lunch after Mass and get to know them. Or invite a few people over to your place for pizza and get to know them. Or get involved in one of the EF parish activities (choir, decorating the church for Christmas, Rosary group, etc.)

I’m hearing a lot of people on this thread saying, “Dear Lord, thank You that I am not like other people.”

One poster said, “It’s difficult not having someone on the same level.” :ehh:

Another poster said, “I’m the only one who upholds all the teachings of the Catholic Church.” :ehh:

I’m asking all of you to please consider how snotty these statements sound. Perhaps this is why you don’t have friends. I probably wouldn’t be too eager to be friends with you if I feel inferior to you and “less spiritual” than you are. :nope:

In order to have friends, you have to be a friend.

Finally, I encourage the OP to consider the possibility that they are seeking “spiritual experiences” instead of Jesus.

The OP uses the phrase “enamored of the EF.” The OP started out with charismatic experiences, and now has moved on to an EF experience.

OP, what will you move on to when the EF is no longer “spiritually fulfilling” for you? (Those are your own words about the charismatic movement.)

I urge you, I beg you, to not worry so much about your “experience” and instead, as TimothyH has wisely suggested,concentrate on knowing Christ and receiving HIM at the Mass (whatever Mass you attend). If you do this, you will have friends from traditional and contemporary Catholicism, and many Protestant friends as well!

Ugh, I cant figure out the multi quote…lol.
I will answer in order as the questions appeared.

1. why don’t you make friends in the EF parish where you attend EF Mass?
   Nearest EF parish is 3 hours away
2. not a question, they are seeking “spiritual experiences” instead of Jesus.
   Yes this is what I believe as well.
3. what will you move on to when the EF is no longer “spiritually fulfilling” for you?
   This is what I’m getting out of. I don’t or have a spirituality based off experiences. I don’t rely on emotions, or spiritual highs in order to know that Jesus is with me. Jesus is always with me, even if I do not feel good or feel it.

I want to have a more mature spirituality, and I agree with you and Timothy when they state that we should be looking to grow know Jesus. This is something that I am currently working on. I know its not anyone’s business, but I do have a spiritual director who is teaching me to grow in my knowing of Jesus, not only in my mind, but in my heart and soul. But, if I did mention that the CRM was not spiritually fulfilling to me any longer was simply because, I grew out of that spirituality. I see that the Catholic Church is such a great tent that has many different types of movements for those who have different preferences, and you know what? that’s fine. That is one of the many reasons why I love the Catholic Church, because this is where She brings to life that universalism about Her, not just because of the movements, but because She encompasses ALL. Charismatic spirituality just wasn’t my cup of tea any longer, as it’s not everyone’s cup of tea and I respect that.

 

[rivera01]

Seeing as how nobody here responded to the prayer request I made earlier here, well, I guess, never mind.

~~ the phoenix

Although I did not post in the comments that I was praying for you, I did as well for those whom find themselves in need of companionship.

 

[Cat]

Ugh, I cant figure out the multi quote…lol.
I will answer in order as the questions appeared.

1. why don’t you make friends in the EF parish where you attend EF Mass?
   Nearest EF parish is 3 hours away
2. not a question, they are seeking “spiritual experiences” instead of Jesus.
   Yes this is what I believe as well.
3. what will you move on to when the EF is no longer “spiritually fulfilling” for you?
   This is what I’m getting out of. I don’t or have a spirituality based off experiences. I don’t rely on emotions, or spiritual highs in order to know that Jesus is with me. Jesus is always with me, even if I do not feel good or feel it.

I want to have a more mature spirituality, and I agree with you and Timothy when they state that we should be looking to grow know Jesus. This is something that I am currently working on. I know its not anyone’s business, but I do have a spiritual director who is teaching me to grow in my knowing of Jesus, not only in my mind, but in my heart and soul. But, if I did mention that the CRM was not spiritually fulfilling to me any longer was simply because, I grew out of that spirituality. I see that the Catholic Church is such a great tent that has many different types of movements for those who have different preferences, and you know what? that’s fine. That is one of the many reasons why I love the Catholic Church, because this is where She brings to life that universalism about Her, not just because of the movements, but because She encompasses ALL. Charismatic spirituality just wasn’t my cup of tea any longer, as it’s not everyone’s cup of tea and I respect that.

Good answers to all questions. I’m sorry that the EF parish is so far away. Are you in a position where you can move? (Depends on your job/school/family etc.) If not, I think you’re just going to have to do the “making friends thing” at the parish where you attend OF Mass.

“Making friends thing” consists of greeting people in the lobby or narthex and eventually asking those people who seem interesting to you if they would like to go out for a meal after Mass (at your expense). Also, get involved with whatever groups or activities in the parish that seem to be a good match for you. It’s hard, because this “thing” takes a while, and you run into a lot of closed doors because people already have friends and can’t handle any more. But stick with it and you’ll find friends eventually.

 

[M1Garand]

Are there any other people who feel alone with their friends or parish because they don’t appreciate traditional Catholicism like you do? I started having this feeling for a couple of months and I feel like I wish I had someone whom had the same interest as I to talk to.

Now I know that there is the traditional Catholicism forum, but there are times when you want to talk to someone in person. Typed words cannot really get into the emotion and the expressiveness that talking to someone can.

My friends and acquaintances are from church, and most of them I know from when I was active with the charismatic renewal at my parish. As a matter of fact, my best friend was the group leader there. I was with the renewal for about 3 years, but I felt that there was a lot more than this type of spirituality, to a point where I wasn’t spiritually fulfilled any longer. To make a long story short, I stopped attending the movement. While I was with the movement, I did learn a lot of different things that I am grateful for, but I started digging deeper and deeper into the Faith. On my 1st year of reverting to my faith and being active in the CM, I had wanted to attend the Tridentine Latin Mass, but did not know what it entailed, as a matter of fact, I told a couple of my friends but they didn’t know what I was talking about. I remember reading in one of the sub-forums that a priest told them that the deeper they would get in their spiritual life, they would eventually leave the Charismatic Renewal and head for Traditional Catholicism; this is what happened to me.

Now that I have attended the EF about 6 times since April 2012, I am even more enamored of the EF. I purchased the St. Edmund Campion Missal and now and waiting for my Primer on Ecclesiastical Latin to arrive in the mail, I want to learn more and more. I love Gregorian Chant because it elevates my spirit. I love Latin, because of the sacredness of the language. I can go on and on, but you get the idea. When I share this with my friends, I feel that they aren’t as interested as I am. I have even told my best friend how I feel, and she states that not everyone is fulfilled in the same spirituality, which I agree. But again, I cannot help but feel alone.

Oh my I could have typed this! You are describing me and how I feel exactly. Except I would say I do not believe I appreciate the Church more than others do I just don’t feel (yes its probably an irrational feeling) like Catholics really want to hear about my love of the faith nor do they seem to want to hear about the incredible spiritual experiences I have had in my journey. I have one friend that I talk to about it but I don’t even know if he shares my visceral feelings. My wife is on this journey with me but I can’t always tell her about what I feel because for some reason it embarrass me. NO Catholic I have met except my friend wants to discuss the traditional mass unless they themselves attend it.

 

[rivera01]

“Making friends thing” consists of greeting people in the lobby or narthex and eventually asking those people who seem interesting to you if they would like to go out for a meal after Mass (at your expense). Also, get involved with whatever groups or activities in the parish that seem to be a good match for you. It’s hard, because this “thing” takes a while, and you run into a lot of closed doors because people already have friends and can’t handle any more. But stick with it and you’ll find friends eventually.

Oh, I do have friends, its just that there are times when I feel that they just humor me for a few minutes about my new found love for traditional Catholicism and they move on.

 

[Incomplete]

Oh, I do have friends, its just that there are times when I feel that they just humor me for a few minutes about my new found love for traditional Catholicism and they move on.

So it’s not Catholic friends you’re lacking, but friends that share that particular passion?

 

[Elizabeth502]

Oh, I do have friends, its just that there are times when I feel that they just humor me for a few minutes about my new found love for traditional Catholicism and they move on.

It will be a lonely position as long as traditionalism remains “unfashionable” and a minority status in the modern Church (which it is). Then again, I don’t look upon Sundays (anyway) as social occasions. I look upon them as spiritual occasions, open to whatever is available to me in the Mass setting. I can and do attend my ICKSP when possible, and there I feel more at home, even though there are no/few social occasions there, either.

In other parishes, I just stay in the closet most of the time. This will continue in the Church for an indefinite time period. For that matter, understand that even the assent to orthodox Catholic doctrine is also a minority position in the Church right now. (The survey data supports that statement.) Nevertheless, I will remain true to my convictions while the rest of the world “changes” and “celebrates change.”

 

[Lormar]

Are there any other people who feel alone with their friends or parish because they don’t appreciate traditional Catholicism like you do?

Yes.

 

[rightofcenter77]

I think the more faithful to God and his church you are, the more lonely it will seem. Jesus warned us about this. It’s not a traditionalist vs non-traditionalist test. I know very devout Catholics who do not attend the extraordinary form yet could sympathize with the notion that following Christ faithfully can sometimes seem “lonely.” Remember that you’ve got the body of Christ and a Legion of Angels with you always.

Sean