The problem with communications is that humans are so bad at it!
We tend to use vague terms, make sweeping generalizations and then are surprised when people are hurt or get angry defensive. No wonder we keep killing each other…
Take the poor Aussie bride example that derailed things for a bit. It is possible that the priest interpreted her as saying that while she was about to get married, she had no interest in sexual relations with her soon to be husband? That’s how I read it. And I’d be alarmed too (especially if I were said fiance and had no idea of the rude shock approaching for me!). Sexual intimacy isn’t just nice, it’s an integral piece of marriage. So much so that the union isn’t permanent until it has been consumated.
In large part, this is more relevant to Vatican II than one might at first suspect. My suspicion is that catholic culture had become too entrenched and tribalized into a system where the laity tended to receive the message that the faith was a system of rules to obey in which you received a reward if you completed certain minimum requirements. Real faith and heroic virtue became something clergy and religious did, not the average guy. I think Vatican II was called to challenge that culture and call the laity AND religious to know God in a personal way both as individuals and together as a church. Ironically, IMO some of Vatican II’s greatest successes are within the traditional catholic movement where people have recognized the spiritual treasure that exists in the millenia of devotions, liturgies and pious practices that have lead countless saints to know God and fall ever more deeply in love with him.
Traditional catholics do not necessarily oppose cultural adaptation of liturgy and practices to the cultures that are receiving them. What we DO object to is being told that our OWN heritage is worthless, archaic and should be tossed in the scrap heap of theological history. Other cultures accepting Christ can and will bring their own adaptations to the externals of church life. The trick (no pun intended) is to discern the essentials from the peripherals. Diversity in the latter, uniformity in the former.
Vatican II did not call for everybody to invent their own catholicism. How it came to popularly stand for that is arguable, but IMO has a lot to do with personal agendas of clergy in place after the council. But what those old guys tried to do with Vatican II is less important than what the Council ACTUALLY says. We finally are arriving at the point where the agitators are retiring and the next generation is reading the council documents themselves, not manifestos of the innovators who claimed to speak in its name, but didn’t.