Traditional funeral question

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denitaA

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Hi,
First, I want to assure you that I’m not planning to die anytime soon unless God calls me. But I’m 50 yrs old and I’ve been thinking of making plans; not concrete yet, but plans for by burial. I would like a Traditional Catholic funeral (Latin Mass, etc). I’m the only Catholic in my family. I supposed to have a burial plot beside my parents, but they’re lying in a Methodist churchyard, over 50 miles from where I live now. Also, I’m on a fixed income, and I just don’t know where to start planning. I feel the need to do this, because of my age. I hope this thread makes sense. I just don’t want to be buried in some grave with a number because I’m too poor, and I’m not sure I want to be buried next to my folks where there are no other Catholics there, and the nearest church is an NO/OF one. who can I talk to? Where can I get advice?🤷
 
It’s always good to have a plan. I would recommend that you try to put away a little bit of money every month and reserve it for your funeral. Also, ensure that your wishes are known. Perhaps put it in a living will.

Talk to your priest, also.
 
Catholics can be buried next to non Catholic relatives as long as the ground is blessed before the burial;

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=96655

As for a Funeral in the EF arrange for a priest and appropriate items needed for a traditional Funeral; these can be affirmed in a living will and confided to relatives and close ones
  • Black Vestments
  • Black Funeral Pall for covering the casket in church
  • Cantors and singers to sing the Mass
  • Six unbleached candles to flank the casket and six unbleached candles for the altar
 
denitaA said:
Hi,
First, I want to assure you that I’m not planning to die anytime soon unless God calls me. But I’m 50 yrs old and I’ve been thinking of making plans; not concrete yet, but plans for by burial. I would like a Traditional Catholic funeral (Latin Mass, etc). I’m the only Catholic in my family. I supposed to have a burial plot beside my parents, but they’re lying in a Methodist churchyard, over 50 miles from where I live now. Also, I’m on a fixed income, and I just don’t know where to start planning. I feel the need to do this, because of my age. I hope this thread makes sense. I just don’t want to be buried in some grave with a number because I’m too poor, and I’m not sure I want to be buried next to my folks where there are no other Catholics there, and the nearest church is an NO/OF one. who can I talk to? Where can I get advice?🤷
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interesting that you bring this topic up…i pick up the deed to my cemetary plot today…
i am just 47, and Fr. didnt really like the idea of being the one to sign it…as we are friends, he doesnt like the idea of me thinking of my death so soon…but…there are only a few plots left, my grandparents are buried there, my parents have purchased theirs, and i insist on being there as well…Fr. is leaving for a new Parish soon, and i wanted to get the business end of it done now…

my wife is Catholic, but not practicing, and comes from a Mennonite background, she prefers another cemetary in town where her family is…if i died in my sleep tonight, i may have ended up there…regardless of the fact the priest will bless the plot there, i want to be in Catholic dirt on the property of the Parish Church i’ve attended for these 47yrs…

i have been able to calm Fr down by telling him he is just reserving me a room at the Ritz Carlton, what could be so wrong with that ?.. 😃

God Bless…
 
My suggestion is to get an appointment with either your Pastor or Parish Priest and discuss the matter with him. In addition, you could talk with a Funeral Home, preferrable one that is associated with your Parish. You should be able to make arrangements to pre-pay for your final arrangements. In that way, you will get exactly what you want!
It has been my experience within my family that pre-paid Funerals are far less expensive than paying at the time of need.
And never forget that your money, as little as it may be, should be reserved for the living and not spent on a lavish send off. As Christians we shouldn’t have funerals worthy of an Egyptian Pharoe!
 
And never forget that your money, as little as it may be, should be reserved for the living and not spent on a lavish send off. As Christians we shouldn’t have funerals worthy of an Egyptian Pharoe!
Don’t worry, I only want a simple funeral Mass, with perhaps a Rosary said beforehand. Even a simple tombstone or cross marker will do just fine.🙂
 
George_Stegmeir said:
And never forget that your money, as little as it may be, should be reserved for the living and not spent on a lavish send off. As Christians we shouldn’t have funerals worthy of an Egyptian Pharoe!
Click to expand...
Don’t worry, all I want is a simple Traditional funeral Mass with perhaps a Rosary said. Even a simple grave marker will do. 🙂
 
JGMendes4049 said:
It’s always good to have a plan. I would recommend that you try to put away a little bit of money every month and reserve it for your funeral. Also, ensure that your wishes are known. Perhaps put it in a living will.

Talk to your priest, also.
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My only concern is telling my mental health caseworker-who is my payee- about this. She might panic and think I’m contemplating suicide 🤷
 
denitaA said:
My only concern is telling my mental health caseworker-who is my payee- about this. She might panic and think I’m contemplating suicide 🤷
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Tell her that you’re a traditional Catholic and it’s very typical for traditional Catholics to do this.
 
]I have an elderly mother that I take care of. I also have an older sister that has been disruptive in our family and my mother does not want her to speak at her funeral. Unfortunately my mom has not told her this and wants the funeral to be arranged by me. I feel this puts me in a very difficult situation. My sister already blames me for the difficult relationship she has with my mom and the rest of the family…

I am scared of my sister coming to the funeral and being disruptive at the church. She does not live in town and making a scene would. To be embarrassing for her and most likely everyone I work with will be at the funeral leaving me with the difficult situation.

My question. Is it ok for a catholic to only have a graveside mass and have it be private?
Thanks for any insight. I want the funeral to be respectful and concerned with the situation.
 
ask your priest about this and make it known like via a Will or write out a funeral service that your elderly mother signs and someone else signs so that it is her request and not your request as such. It doesn’t make it legally binding but it does make it as though it come from your elderly mother and in the copy of the service she could include who she wants to speak at the service… you cannot control any behaviour from other people, sister or other friends, again if you’re concerned share your concern with the priest and He will hopefully ease you on this and from what I have heard at times there are funerals in church where not everyone is exactly as well behaved as all that. But if your mother really desires this at her funeral the best plan would be for her to write out her funeral service, stating which readings she wants and who she wants to do it, including the hymns and who she wants as in choir/organ so it looks well thought through etc and like I say she can sign it and perhaps the neighbour or someone, (not you, or your sister will accuse you of collaborating). She may anyway, but you can point out that you didn’t sign it.
 
I can understand your desire to make the arrangements. I asked one of my sons to build my casket. He did an amazing job. Got the burial plots purchased. Need to make sure our local priest will OK the TLM for my funeral. Even know of 3 priests that can celebrate the TLM Requiem. Next step is to get them to agree to do it. I’m a bunch older than you so I have moved ahead a little faster. Vestments can cause a problem. If you’re not careful you’ll wind up with a white funeral with protestant songs being sung. Talk to your priest. The key word is Requiem not funeral.

God Bless
 
You are very wise to plan these things in advance. You should talk to whoever you want to be the executor of your will and tell that person what arrangements you want made. You should take the time to write it out clearly and leave it where this person can get it in the event of your demise so that there will be no misunderstandings.
:):)🙂
 
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