Traditional-leaning Catholics: what do you do?

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Even though I have no problem with the OF Mass when celebrated properly, lately I’ve been feeling more drawn to EF, even though I’m nowhere close to a parish that celebrates the EF or the OF in Latin and/or celebrated reverently. I feel that if I’m going to the Mass in the EF, I know for sure what I’m in for, as opposed to most parishes around here when I have to spiritually prepare to see all sorts of nonsense going on in the liturgy before Mass begins. I’m just tired of being disappointed when I leave Mass, not because of my personal preferences, but because of the attitude of the priest(s) to the liturgy. The EF, to me, is also distinctly “Catholic.” I’ve considered simply attending Divine Liturgy, also distinctly “Catholic,” about a half hour away, but I feel more at home in the Latin Rite.

Are there any other Catholics that find themselves drawn to more “traditional” Catholicism but are in a similar situation? What do you do?
 
I drive 35 minutes to Mass on Sunday. There are others who drive farther…like over an hour trip every Sunday - two hours of driving time to and from.

I guess you get to a point to where you say to yourself I just cannot stand it anymore- I cannot raise my children in what they see happening in there anymore - I fear for the loss of faith of my family in the Real Presence and other Catholic Teachings.

Where I go to Mass the men dress in nice clothes - the women all wear veils - the Mass is …well you know if you have been there. All the EF offers is so rich in the faith I do not want anything less for my children and I will do all I can to raise them in it.

Ken
 
The current price of gas also plays a role in my dilemma. Haha.
 
Are there any other Catholics that find themselves drawn to more “traditional” Catholicism but are in a similar situation? What do you do?
For the last two years I have silenced what I beleve to be a heart-felt desire to attend a mass in the EF, primarily for two reasons:
  1. I have never attended either form in Latin, and do not know if I would be able to follow along
    (I have my '62 Missal, tho!); and
  2. I feel a fair degree of certitude that I just might find my true home there, and never again feel as comfortable in the at-times-less-than-perfect OF (well, maybe never is an overstatement); this prospect unsettles me a little for some reason.
Throughout the two years since my return to the Church, there’s been a Tridentine (now EF) mass every Sunday only about a 20-minute drive from my home.

I often stifle the urge to call up the Church and BEG someone to walk me through the Missal and one Sunday service. And just may do that one of these days…

Peace all.
 
Even though I have no problem with the OF Mass when celebrated properly, lately I’ve been feeling more drawn to EF, even though I’m nowhere close to a parish that celebrates the EF or the OF in Latin and/or celebrated reverently. I feel that if I’m going to the Mass in the EF, I know for sure what I’m in for, as opposed to most parishes around here when I have to spiritually prepare to see all sorts of nonsense going on in the liturgy before Mass begins. I’m just tired of being disappointed when I leave Mass, not because of my personal preferences, but because of the attitude of the priest(s) to the liturgy. The EF, to me, is also distinctly “Catholic.” I’ve considered simply attending Divine Liturgy, also distinctly “Catholic,” about a half hour away, but I feel more at home in the Latin Rite.

Are there any other Catholics that find themselves drawn to more “traditional” Catholicism but are in a similar situation? What do you do?
I’m not a good example of a “traditional Catholic,” maybe, but I’ll offer my advice.

Go! You won’t regret it.

I had the same issues you described. It’s all better now, though, because I’m fortunate enough to live in a city that has the Institute of Christ the King, Sovereign Priest. I love these people and I’ve never been more drawn to Church as a result.

Go five times, if you go once. If you only go once, and find that it is too foreign for you to get anything out of, it’s because you haven’t been enough yet. Remember, this Mass nourished our Church for centuries.

Here’s some advice for you, to get you started. You can take it or leave it, cause I am not an authority on it. I just know what helped me wife with her misgivings about it (now she loves the EF just as much as me!).
  1. The first day you go, don’t even try to follow along. You are not going to understand any of it. Don’t worry about a missal the first day. Being Catholic, you can understand basically the “gist” of it, and you can privately pray and assist in that way. This way, you are passive and allow the liturgy to shape your experience, versus the other way around. Keep an open ear for one phrase and one phrase only. “Dominus Vobiscum.” (The Lord be with you). O.nly the priest says this, and whenever he says it, the people say, “Et cum spiritu tuo,” which means “And with thy spirit.” Just focus on that, and take in the sights, sounds, and “feel” of the Mass.
  2. The second time you go, read from a missal. because you are already use to the “feel” of the Mass. At our Church, they hand out little missal booklets. You can see if they offer them at the Chuch on your first visit. If they do, use one, because they are concise and not too difficult to hold. If they don’t, bring a missal with you. You can download the Missal here- sanctamissa.org/en/
It’s a pdf file, and you can print out the specific parts for the day in question.
  1. Go again with the missal. this time, identify some aspect of the Mass (the Gloria, Kyrie, etc.) that doesn’t change and memorize it in Latin. It’s a big boost when you can follow it without the Missal.
  2. Find a different part (like the Agnus Dei) and memorize it.
  3. Find another part (Sanctus) and memorize it.
Congratulations. Now you can follow a good bit of the Mass without a missal. Over time, you won’t really need one at all to fully assist at the Mass.

Just some suggestions, though. There are other people with more experience than me. It’s been relatively recent that I’ve discovered the EF. I love it though. I can’t imagine not having access to it anymore.

Some more suggestions:
  1. If you don’t really know what to do, or do something awkard, don’t worry about it. You learn over time, and no one is paying attention to what others are doing during the Mass. One time, my wife accidentally said “Amen” after the sign of the cross, and was a little embarrassed, but nobody cared. It wasn’t a big deal. Don’t let something like that affect your experience.
  2. Prepare yourself in advance by going to youtube and typing in “Tridentine” and watching a few videos. They really prepare you for what you are going to be a part of.
  3. Know in advance that virtually all of it (everything but readings of the epistle, gospel, and homily at our Church) is going to be in Latin, and that the priest is going to have his back to you (facing the altar) most of the time.
  4. It is going to be really quiet in there both before and after Mass. Don’t be put off by that. It is a good environment for prayer.
Just my thoughts. I love the EF. Let us know how it goes if you go.

I highly recommend it!

👍
 
For the last two years I have silenced what I beleve to be a heart-felt desire to attend a mass in the EF, primarily for two reasons:
  1. I have never attended either form in Latin, and do not know if I would be able to follow along
    (I have my '62 Missal, tho!); and
  2. I feel a fair degree of certitude that I just might find my true home there, and never again feel as comfortable in the at-times-less-than-perfect OF (well, maybe never is an overstatement); this prospect unsettles me a little for some reason.
Throughout the two years since my return to the Church, there’s been a Tridentine (now EF) mass every Sunday only about a 20-minute drive from my home.

I often stifle the urge to call up the Church and BEG someone to walk me through the Missal and one Sunday service. And just may do that one of these days…

Peace all.
Before I started going to the EF, I was worried that I was going to become spoiled. I’m going to an OF wedding this month, and I don’t think it will spoil me, though having gotten use to the EF, I certainly prefer it now.

I hope that you go, and satisfy your curiosity, at least. I don’t think you will regret it at all.
 
I drive 35 minutes to Mass on Sunday. There are others who drive farther…like over an hour trip every Sunday - two hours of driving time to and from.

I guess you get to a point to where you say to yourself I just cannot stand it anymore- I cannot raise my children in what they see happening in there anymore - I fear for the loss of faith of my family in the Real Presence and other Catholic Teachings.

Where I go to Mass the men dress in nice clothes - the women all wear veils - the Mass is …well you know if you have been there. All the EF offers is so rich in the faith I do not want anything less for my children and I will do all I can to raise them in it.

Ken
My four year old loves wearing her Mantilla. She goes to a school where they celebrate the OF, and she’s been asking why they don’t wear it there.

Anybody got an answer I could give?

I’d drive two hours to an EF if I had to.
 
Benny, I would go. I was in a similar situation. Three months ago, I returned to the Catholic church. The parish which was closest to me was less than one mile from my home. They celebrate the Ordinary Form.

Meanwhile, the only other Catholic I knew of attended a parish which was about 20 minutes away. She told me they celebrated the Latin Mass and said the church was a little more traditional and may be more of what I remembered church to be.

I laugh now, but I remember saying to her, “Oh, no. I can’t imagine myself going to a Latin Mass. I wouldn’t understand it! And besides, I wasn’t raised with it so I don’t think it would really mean much to me.”

Someone wise said that if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. Ah, yes. God does have a sense of humor!

Finally, out of curiosity, I made the drive and attended my first EF Mass in April. I was riveted! And…ruined for anything else. I quickly purchased the Baronius Press Roman Missal of 1962 and started to study it. I’ve reached the point where I can follow the Mass fairly well and am starting to sing a few of the responses. I love every minute of it and am thinking of joining the Schola (choir) so I can learn more.

I also believe that when we attend an EFM, it will allow us to see the OFM in a new light. When I attended Mass as a young woman, the whole Mass started to become very boring to me. Revisiting it through the EFM has renewed its precious riches to me and I can see those riches still exist in the OFM.

But I gotta say…I really have a thing for chant! 👍
 
And pass how many OF parishes in the process?
Seven by my count. Eight if you count St. A but they have an indult Mass so I don’t know if they count or not as an OF parish 😃

I’ve been driving 25 miles one way for 25 years to attend a reverent OF parish - it’s that important to me. I can see why people would drive such distances to attend an EF and I don’t make light of their choice.

My local geographic parish is five miles away. It sounds like Walmart before Mass. I really DON’T want to hear about which hemerrhoid cream is best - thank you very much (and no I am not engaging in hyperbole). No, I really don’t want to introduce myself to my neighbor. No, I really don’t want to hold hands during the Lord’s Prayer nor do I want to do the “wave” afterwards nor do I have any intention of prancing up and down the aisle shaking hands during the sign of peace. It’s about Him not us.

I also believe in the power of the Holy Spirit. Maybe some of us are “called” to belong to those traditional parishes. I know we were. We have never regretted raising our two sons in our parish or the 50 miles we drive each Sunday.
 
That can be valuable data after a Saturday of hauling hay 😃
Oh, puhleese! I’m no spring chicken myself and the last thing I want to hear before Mass is two geezers older than me talking about Preparation H in the narthex. Sorry, I’m not an I’m OK; you’re OK Catholic. Those two were older than me, should have known better, and should have set an example. If the people older than me or my age don’t set an example, how are those younger than us to know?
 
Oh, puhleese! I’m no spring chicken myself and the last thing I want to hear before Mass is two geezers older than me talking about Preparation H in the narthex. Sorry, I’m not an I’m OK; you’re OK Catholic. Those two were older than me, should have known better, and should have set an example. If the people older than me or my age don’t set an example, how are those younger than us to know?
C’mon brotherhrolf, I’m messin’ with ya. 😃

BTW, Preparation H is good on warts too. 👍
 
Everyone, your suggestions have been very helpful. I have actually attended an EF Mass once; it was a Low Mass, and although I couldn’t follow it well, there was something I absolutely loved about it.

Roamin_Home, I know exactly what you’re talking about when you say it gave you a greater appreciation for the OF.
 
Oh, puhleese! I’m no spring chicken myself and the last thing I want to hear before Mass is two geezers older than me talking about Preparation H in the narthex. Sorry, I’m not an I’m OK; you’re OK Catholic. Those two were older than me, should have known better, and should have set an example. If the people older than me or my age don’t set an example, how are those younger than us to know?
Not criticizing you brother, but for geezers older than you being at Mass is for some the only time of the week when they see another live human being. Preparation H may be the high point of their week. I totally agree that the nave is not the proper place for these social events.

In my parish once Mass is over and the Eucharist is back in the adoration chapel, people of all ages gather in groups and yak it up. If you want to pray a bit more after Mass, it becomes necessary to retire quickly to the adoration chapel before someone grabs your lapel and starts yammering. Thing is, during Spring, Fall, and Winter they could retire quietly to the social hall downstairs and yak over coffee and homemade cinnamon buns or store bought donuts.
 
I’m officially a senior citizen too (but AARP won’t take “no” for an answer 😃 ). I understand what you are saying about loneliness but in my parish it is possible to pray in peace and quiet before and after Mass.

Then we all head over to the parish hall for coffee and donuts. My two sons (now in their mid-20s) grew up interacting with the elderly in this way and since they sometimes work their mamma’s farmer’s market booth (right next door to the parish) on Saturday, they keep in touch with folks who have known them since they were knee high. (Deo gratias - we have some mighty long-lived seniors in my parish 😃 )

My local geographic parish has coffee and donuts too but my elder brothers and sisters there seem to think that the narthex is a social spot rather than an entrance to the sacred. The noise level is so loud that silent prayer before or after Mass is an impossibility. And to think that once upon a time, a single click from Sister’s “noise maker” was sufficient to silence or still entire classes of squirming grade schoolers.
 
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