Traditional values

[mommy_k]

Good Morning,

It seem to me that I was born a few decades too late. I remember growing up, and I was not aware of any of the terms that are used today that should not be discussed by the media or mainstream society. I did not know what an athiest was until I was in high school, and thought that it was only a few misguided people.

I did not know what ‘gay’ meant and when I found out I thought was a few misguided people, and then thought it was boys who acted like girls and vice versa. Never knew what an abortion was either. I knew that you had to be married to have relations.

Nowadays these things are discussed frequently on TV, and children are also told that you should have ‘pride’ about some. I was never taught about different religions until late high school, when I was firmly planted in the Catholic Church and could process the differences.

I was very happy in my blissful innocence. I have a huge problem with the direction society is going with this, and want to shield my children as long as possible.

Someone told me that I should open dialogue with them because it is so mainstream now. I disagree. I have also been told that society cannot change if you do not face the reality of it, but I think it can change-one family at a time if traditional values are instilled at home.I think to discuss these dark clouds gives a choice to children and perhaps the wrong choice and confusion. My desire too is to raise open minded children-but no so open that their brains fall out.

What are some thoughts about this and how to circumvent this?

Thank you for reading this long post-
Mommy k

 

[bsroufek]

Just as Jesus and the Apostles often warn us (as children) in detail about sin and degraded society and particularly about immorality, you must do the same for your children so they are prepared on what to think and believe when they are confronted with the slime of today’s society.

Otherwise, they will be unprepared and (worse) vulnerable to acceptance or even participation in the evils others will present to them.

 

[Trishie]

I understand your concern. It is very difficult to shield your children as they will inevitably to subjected to the current views which are are too prevalent to avoid. The ‘gay’ issue (and gay meant 'cheerfully happy’) is becoming such a loud and pervasive force in the world that it will be impossible to avoid it. Atheists also are becoming more evangelical and ready to proclaim their belief and to try to ‘refute’ the foundations of our faith.

Prayer, wisdom, effort and prayer, trust in God’s love for our children, these are our weapon and shield.

I hope and pray that you can find ways to guide and to explain in a way that helps your children to form healthy perceptions and ideals even regarding many of the unsettling influences in our society, as there is little hope of avoiding the issues.

You could home-school…and perhaps that could help. My sister did this in the hope to protect and form her children, restricting television to educational programs, and teaching them old-fashioned skills in arts and crafts. That didn’t prevent her son from becoming a teen father out of wedlock not one of her daughters, being in a circumscribed world, from marrying her cousin, nor did it prevent a divorce in another daughter’s life.

We can become stressed and fearful when we strive to protect our children. Sometimes over-protection itself can cause harm or rebellion.

As parents, we don’t have individual manuals for our children, but can only try the best we can in a loving, balanced way.

My prayers for you and your family.

Loving wishes,

Trishie

 

[Neofight]

Good Morning,

It seem to me that I was born a few decades too late. I remember growing up, and I was not aware of any of the terms that are used today that should not be discussed by the media or mainstream society. I did not know what an athiest was until I was in high school, and thought that it was only a few misguided people.

I did not know what ‘gay’ meant and when I found out I thought was a few misguided people, and then thought it was boys who acted like girls and vice versa. Never knew what an abortion was either. I knew that you had to be married to have relations.

Nowadays these things are discussed frequently on TV, and children are also told that you should have ‘pride’ about some. I was never taught about different religions until late high school, when I was firmly planted in the Catholic Church and could process the differences.

I was very happy in my blissful innocence. I have a huge problem with the direction society is going with this, and want to shield my children as long as possible.

Someone told me that I should open dialogue with them because it is so mainstream now. I disagree. I have also been told that society cannot change if you do not face the reality of it, but I think it can change-one family at a time if traditional values are instilled at home.I think to discuss these dark clouds gives a choice to children and perhaps the wrong choice and confusion. My desire too is to raise open minded children-but no so open that their brains fall out.

What are some thoughts about this and how to circumvent this?

Thank you for reading this long post-
Mommy k

Think about it. Do you avoid discussions with your children about the existence of evil, Satan, and Hell? Just because they aren’t brought up doesn’t mean they are not real. They are going to hear about many things, either discussed with you, or by others, including the media. If you don’t discuss these things with your kids you are doing them a gross disservice.

 

[coachdennis]

Whether you like it or not, someday your children will be in a situation where you **will not be able to shield them **for something or someone you find a threat to your family values.

Whether you like it or not, they WILL someday be in a position where they will be exposed to something different then the worldview you want to present to them… and have to respond ON THEIR OWN.

How will they be ready to respond if you do not start having the discussion NOW, always at age appropriate levels. As others have said, not to do so is denying them the "tools’ to function in this world as Catholics and providing a disservice to them.

 

[St_Francis]

No matter what you do, your children will eventually have to make the decisions on their own. And if they make a “bad” decision, we parents will have done enough “wrong” that we will blame ourselves.

It is a part of our society’s thinking that if we give them enough information, they will make the right decision, but I don’t agree with this. Sure, *some *information is needed, but that is not the most important part.

The most important part is to pray for your children and lead them in a life of prayer, not living like monks but little prayers throughout the day, which will also teach them recollection. Also teach your children to pray for you and your husband.

I did pick up one thing recently: if you see someone behaving badly and want to point this out to your children but avoid judgementalism: point out the bad bahvior, shake you head sadly and say something like I guess that person’s parents didn’t teach them X; *we should pray for that person. *

 

[Lorelei12]

Because of the way such values are discussed in the mainstream today I think it all the more reason to make sure your children are prepared to defend their faith. You can’t do that if you don’t know what you’re up against.

I was a rather sheltered, naive child, and though now I appreciate the restrictions I had on certain things like inappropriate television, etc, I also wish I’d been more aware of what the world was like.

There is an age appropriate way to introduce topics to your children. Knowing that there are other religions and that not everyone believes in God isn’t a bad thing. It’s just knowledge. How are you supposed to be able to defend your faith if you think everyone believes the same things you do? One of the things I love about our faith is how faith and reason work together.

I’m not saying young children need to know anything about abortion or homosexuality. But as they get older, I do think it’s better to talk about these things so that as they grow, they are well grounded and understand why the Church teaches what she does. The church needs a youthful presence and sheltering them from everything until they’re out from under your roof could even backfire, making them mistrustful of you and why you didn’t teach them better how to live a faithful life in this world.

 

[SuperLuigi]

Good Morning,

It seem to me that I was born a few decades too late. I remember growing up, and I was not aware of any of the terms that are used today that should not be discussed by the media or mainstream society. I did not know what an athiest was until I was in high school, and thought that it was only a few misguided people.

I did not know what ‘gay’ meant and when I found out I thought was a few misguided people, and then thought it was boys who acted like girls and vice versa. Never knew what an abortion was either. I knew that you had to be married to have relations.

Nowadays these things are discussed frequently on TV, and children are also told that you should have ‘pride’ about some. I was never taught about different religions until late high school, when I was firmly planted in the Catholic Church and could process the differences.

I was very happy in my blissful innocence. I have a huge problem with the direction society is going with this, and want to shield my children as long as possible.

Someone told me that I should open dialogue with them because it is so mainstream now. I disagree. I have also been told that society cannot change if you do not face the reality of it, but I think it can change-one family at a time if traditional values are instilled at home.I think to discuss these dark clouds gives a choice to children and perhaps the wrong choice and confusion. My desire too is to raise open minded children-but no so open that their brains fall out.

What are some thoughts about this and how to circumvent this?

Thank you for reading this long post-
Mommy k

Civilizations tend to move in cycles.

The whiny, secular liberalism that you refer to will soon peak and then begin to die out.

 

[SuperLuigi]

Whether you like it or not, someday your children will be in a situation where you **will not be able to shield them **for something or someone you find a threat to your family values.

Whether you like it or not, they WILL someday be in a position where they will be exposed to something different then the worldview you want to present to them… and have to respond ON THEIR OWN.

How will they be ready to respond if you do not start having the discussion NOW, always at age appropriate levels. As others have said, not to do so is denying them the "tools’ to function in this world as Catholics and providing a disservice to them.

Agreed. These kinds of things are best discussed. Don’t let your kids learn about the finer points of important subjects from the internet, their friends or even some schools.

 

[Kamaduck]

I think it will be much better for your children if they hear the truth from you. I don’t think it will go as well if they hear about all of the bad things in the world from people who don’t believe the same things you do. And if you don’t allow them any exposure to these things as children, there’s a good chance they will be shocked by them as teenagers or young adults.

I’m not a proponent of keeping children in ignorance. I would certainly try to explain things at a level they could understand, but I don’t think we do them any favors by withholding basic information, such as the fact that not everybody in the world is Catholic.

 

[LongingSoul]

Nowadays these things are discussed frequently on TV, and children are also told that you should have ‘pride’ about some. I was never taught about different religions until late high school, when I was firmly planted in the Catholic Church and could process the differences.

I was very happy in my blissful innocence. I have a huge problem with the direction society is going with this, and want to shield my children as long as possible.

Someone told me that I should open dialogue with them because it is so mainstream now. I disagree. I have also been told that society cannot change if you do not face the reality of it, but I think it can change-one family at a time if traditional values are instilled at home.I think to discuss these dark clouds gives a choice to children and perhaps the wrong choice and confusion. My desire too is to raise open minded children-but no so open that their brains fall out.

What are some thoughts about this and how to circumvent this?

My experience is that if you don’t teach them Catholic teachings on every little thing, they will adopt some other secular or opposing agenda with regards to it. In retrospect I regret not taking greater charge of that part of their education. I naively thought that Catholic school would give them these teachings, but I was wrong about that. The education is only as good as the teachers they have and some teachers are appallingly secular.

I began later than I should have to either talk to them very seriously about the Church views on IVF, homosexuality, contraception or use the pamphlets and short books from the Catholic book shops to give thorough and accurate reasoning for the ethics on sex outside marriage and masturbation etc. Every time I go past the Catholic shop, I always pick up something short and readable to give to my young adult kids so that they know the true Catholic perspective. I just wish I started doing that seriously from the moment they started life outside of my constant care. It’s never too late though I figure.

 

[mommy_k]

Thank you all for your kind replies. It makes sense to address these things as they come, as silence can mean you accept.

The way I have approached this is to frame it using ten commandments, but I skim on details. Some of my kids are a bit older, and I am struggling to not come across as too old fashioned. But I tell them that the Laws God gives us are timeles.

It breaks my heart that society has no grasp of dignity anymore.things that used to be discussed in private are now displayed for all to see, discuss, think about. And if you do not approve of certain you are considered close minded. Conversely, I believe I am very open minded to things that promote good valiues, happiness and peacefulness.
We have one chance to raise our children. My desire for my children is that they feel loved, have a strong Catholic conscience, demonstrate values in speech and behavior. Society is undercutting this and I am not happy about it.

Mommyk

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Civilizations tend to move in cycles.

The whiny, secular liberalism that you refer to will soon peak and then begin to die out.

Not soon enough

I am so worried about the very things that the OP discusses. I’m trying to gain some wisdom from these threads, but I still have a lot of anxiety over the power of secularism.