Traditions are gone in my family

[brotherhrolf]

I’ve tried to post about three responses. I am a boomer and I think that the traditions will be lost (unless I am happily mistaken) with my sons who are 25 and 22 and could care less. It’s not that we haven’t tried but it is hard to maintain the context of traditional Catholic practices when things have changed so much in both liturgy and funeral home practices.

I grew up in New Orleans in an Irish family. The rosary was said, the demeanor was proper in the parlor, and upstairs in the funeral parlor was the kitchen and lounge where there was food and the deceased’s life was celebrated with stories and laughter. My grandmother always taught me that the Irish mourn when the babe is born into this vale of tears but rejoice when the soul departs. Indeed. The body was brought to church and a Requiem Mass was celebrated with the priest in black vestments. My brother and I served at my grandmother’s Requiem Mass in 1965. It was a communal celebration of the life and death of a person.

My mother and father passed away within 5 years of each other recently. The funeral parlor in New Orleans now has a designated consecrated Catholic chapel. Wakes are held two to three hours before the Mass of Christian Burial is said in the chapel. All my sons saw was the proper demeanor in the parlor, the rosary, the Mass in the chapel, and the graveside services. We went home immediately afterward - immediate family only. There was no communal celebration - people you don’t know coming up to you and saying “I knew your father/mother”…just this huge disconnect from community.

It wasn’t like this with my wife’s Cajun family when my father-in-law passed away in 1980. The community flooded the house with food and came by to visit with the family and celebrate his life after the burial.

And I’ve been to far too many wakes lately conducted in church no less. Wake held two hours before Mass in church. When did this start? Is this a function of the cost of a funeral? Is this the real culprit behind the loss of tradition? Cost?

 

[Seminarian_Matt]

I was astonished to find the Catholic schools in my area do not teach the rosary. Along with that, where is the “traditional” May Procession? Have we forgotten Mary?

Unfortuntately, yes. There are still some very traditional Novus Ordo parishes and CCD progrsm and Catholic schools around the country, but they are very few compared with the large majority of Catholic parishes, programs, and schools.

If possible, I always recommend that parents send their children to traditional schools like those offered by the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter (FSSP). Always research a program before you financially support them or send your children there. Modernism and secularism are as great a threat to the Church today as Arianism was during the early years of the Church.

“Hold Fast to the Traditions” Remember: Mary asked for the daily Rosary. Why are children not being taught this???

 

[brotherhrolf]

I think the part of the country you are in might have a lot to do with it too. Down here in the deep South and particularly in Catholic Louisiana, the rosary is taught, recited at funerals and before Mass, and, yes, we still have May crownings. It’s not as widespread as when I was a boy but it still makes the papers and TV.

 

[turtleoompa]

You can keep the tradition alive. If you have children you can pass the tradition on through them by your example. I have done so, and my children thank me and my husband for giving them a solid foundation in our faith. Those that were not raised with any faith I feel sad for because they may never know the wonderful strength we get from our faith… It is our duty to be a good example for our future generations.

 

[apricot_yogurt]

As a twenty-something Catholic, I was not taught my faith in school. So if I was to go to a catholic funeral, I would have no clue if it was being done proporly or not, I would simply have to trust it was.

 

[Seminarian_Matt]

I hope and pray that my funeral is a Requiem Mass celebrated in the Tridentine Rite. I find the black vestments, many Latin prayers, etc all very beautiful.

Some pictures are near the bottom of this page of a Requiem Mass:

fssp.org/en/index.htm (click on seminary photos and scroll down)

 

[mchium]

As a member of a men’s Gregorian chant schola, we have had many people come up to us after an appearance and request us for their own funerals. It’s a solemn honor that we try to respect. A person’s funeral is their last statement in this world, and to be asked to be a part of that is humbling.

I think that America is so much of a “melting pot” that many citizens are essentially “mutts”. I am one of them. My heritage is half Czech, but after that, I’m all sorts of ethnicities. I can’t really claim any ethnic tradition, so I am without a past.

However, when it comes to Catholicism, there is hope for identity. Traditional Catholicism is on the rise because the younger generation is no longer encumbered by the 60’s mentality (ever wonder why “Fiddler on the Roof” did so well? It’s because it came in the wake of all the anti-tradition movements of the 60’s and 70’s). Consequently, we can take a more objective look at the traditions people rejected and see if, indeed, we are better off for having left these things. I think people are seeing that we threw a lot of treasures aside.

It is typical: for every huge swing of the pendulum, there is usually a return in the following generations.

There’s reason to hope.

Windmill: How does one get in touch with your group? thanks

 

[THurifer2]

May crownings and rosary prior t Mass are making a HUGE comeback in my area. My church has prayed the rosary before the 9 AM sunday Mass for around 8 years now and we have family ROSARY groups in homes every sunday evening. It is absolutely ASTONISHING as I come from the 1980s which I consider the absolute Darkest years of the Catholic church in the midwest at least post VII that is. I graduated HS in 1986 and was raised in a very progressive diocese. I guess my devlopment of traditionalism is a knee jerk reaction to the spiritual desolateness of my youth…the 1980s…

 

[4HisChurch]

This is for either Matt or Paramedicgirl, or anyone who knows the answer.

I wondered if the site you both linked to about Gregorian Masses send you a card stating that these Masses are being said? I wanted to have Gregorian Masses said for my aunt who recently passed away and I wondered if I should wait for a card of some kind to come, like many mission organizations do, or not.

Thanks!

 

[Seminarian_Matt]

This is for either Matt or Paramedicgirl, or anyone who knows the answer.

I wondered if the site you both linked to about Gregorian Masses send you a card stating that these Masses are being said? I wanted to have Gregorian Masses said for my aunt who recently passed away and I wondered if I should wait for a card of some kind to come, like many mission organizations do, or not.

Thanks!

Thankfully I have not had a close relative die in my family in recent years so I have never had Gregorian Masses said for someone. However, they are extremely powerful, and I will have them said for relatives when they do die. Therefore, I don’t know if they send a card. Perhaps you can find a photo number and call and ask?

 

[4HisChurch]

Thanks, Matt. They do have an email address that I can use. I think one of our Catholic book stores here might sell general “I had a Mass said for your intentions” card if they don’t have any.

 

[brotherhrolf]

Thankfully I have not had a close relative die in my family in recent years so I have never had Gregorian Masses said for someone. However, they are extremely powerful, and I will have them said for relatives when they do die. Therefore, I don’t know if they send a card. Perhaps you can find a photo number and call and ask?

I’ve used the last of my Mass cards and haven’t had any new ones sent for my use. However, when my mother passed away five years ago, we got many Mass cards from neighbors and friends. At least this tradition continues.