Transgender Bathroom Situation

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I have a problem sharing a bathroom with a transgendered person. That is not the case happening now, but if I had too, I would chose to leave the bathroom and come back at a later time. I spoke about this to another Catholic who accused me of not loving God. To love God is to love everyone. I told him, it’s not a matter of loving a transgendered person, it’s my inability to socialize with a transgendered to the point of refusing to share a bathroom with someone like that. It’s too much to ask of me right now. They make me uncomfortable. He said that I was still being unGodly. Is this true of me? Do I have to force myself to be able to socialize with the transgendered and conform to sharing a bathroom with them to be Godly? :confused:
 
No, it isn’t wrong to not share a bathroom with such a person. If it is then sex segregated bathrooms are all wrong. If they aren’t wrong then why would it be wrong to not want to share a bathroom with a person who refuses to go to the correct one?
 
It’s not a matter of loving others, but of prudential judgment in a very vulnerable situation. Years ago there was much talk about having uni-sex restrooms. A male friend (not a believer of any sort) asked me why I’d object to such restrooms. I told him that while I’d trust him in the stall next to me, I wouldn’t trust just any man that might come in. He saw my point and agreed.

My dh and I went to a musical at a local well-known auditorium and during the break, many of us gals went to the restroom. Behind me stood a very large person with very broad shoulders and male facial structure. I knew at once it was a man in women’s dress, but I said nothing for the very good reason that with all the women there, it was safe enough, but if he and I had been the only ones in the restroom, I’d have left while he was in there and not gone back in until he had gone–for prudential reasons, not hatred of anyone.

I have no problem with actual transgender men using the women’s restroom, but it, unfortunately, invites any man to dress like a woman just to gain entry into a woman’s restroom. It’s not a matter of bias, but of practicality and good sense. Many now days have their hearts in the right place but not their heads. This is a good example of it.
 
Saphire said:
I have a problem sharing a bathroom with a transgendered person. That is not the case happening now, but if I had too, I would chose to leave the bathroom and come back at a later time. I spoke about this to another Catholic who accused me of not loving God. To love God is to love everyone. I told him, it’s not a matter of loving a transgendered person, it’s my inability to socialize with a transgendered to the point of refusing to share a bathroom with someone like that. It’s too much to ask of me right now. They make me uncomfortable. He said that I was still being unGodly. Is this true of me? Do I have to force myself to be able to socialize with the transgendered and conform to sharing a bathroom with them to be Godly? :confused:
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I too would not share a bathroom, and I assure you I love God.
Not only that, but having small children brings much needed clarity to the situation.
 
Della said:
My dh and I went to a musical at a local well-known auditorium and during the break, many of us gals went to the restroom. Behind me stood a very large person with very broad shoulders and male facial structure. I knew at once it was a man in women’s dress, but I said nothing for the very good reason that with all the women there, it was safe enough, but if he and I had been the only ones in the restroom, I’d have left while he was in there and not gone back in until he had gone–for prudential reasons, not hatred of anyone.

I have no problem with actual transgender men using the women’s restroom, but it, unfortunately, invites any man to dress like a woman just to gain entry into a woman’s restroom. It’s not a matter of bias, but of practicality and good sense. Many now days have their hearts in the right place but not their heads. This is a good example of it.
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What is an ‘actual transgender’ and how do they differ from a man in a dress? Is it a man in a dress who has also had his genitals mutilated?

I’d say I’d be wary of any person who has severe mental illness and I’d count being confused about what sex you are as severe.
 
exnihilo said:
What is an ‘actual transgender’ and how do they differ from a man in a dress? Is it a man in a dress who has also had his genitals mutilated?

I’d say I’d be wary of any person who has severe mental illness and I’d count being confused about what sex you are as severe.
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👍
 
exnihilo said:
What is an ‘actual transgender’ and how do they differ from a man in a dress? Is it a man in a dress who has also had his genitals mutilated?
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Someone who really thinks he is transgender–to answer your first question. Not every transgender man goes so far as to mutilate his genitals, either. A man who pretends to be transgender just to gain access to a woman’s restroom generally does so just so he can ogle women, get some perverse delight in being where he shouldn’t be, or wants to attack woman and girls when they are most vulnerable.
I’d say I’d be wary of any person who has severe mental illness and I’d count being confused about what sex you are as severe.
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Because we cannot know if any man dressed as a woman is safe in a restroom, no man, no matter how he is dressed should be allowed in a woman’s restroom. I thought I made that quite clear, but I restate it here more forcefully.
 
You don’t have to share a bathroom with them, but if they make you uncomfortable in general (ie just standing next to them in public or talking to them) …maybe you should explore the reasons why
 
Lea101 said:
You don’t have to share a bathroom with them, but if they make you uncomfortable in general (ie just standing next to them in public or talking to them) …maybe you should explore the reasons why
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I agree. We are to love everyone equally in Christ. That doesn’t, however, as I know you’d agree, mean that we must trust everyone equally in our fallen world where crimes can happen anywhere at any time. Prudence is the watch word, not revulsion or disgust for persons who are sexually confused/damaged.
 
exnihilo said:
What is an ‘actual transgender’ and how do they differ from a man in a dress? Is it a man in a dress who has also had his genitals mutilated?

I’d say I’d be wary of any person who has severe mental illness and I’d count being confused about what sex you are as severe.
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What if a transgender really is a woman in a mans body?
 
Della said:
Someone who really thinks he is transgender–to answer your first question. Not every transgender man goes so far as to mutilate his genitals, either. A man who pretends to be transgender just to gain access to a woman’s restroom generally does so just so he can ogle women, get some perverse delight in being where he shouldn’t be, or wants to attack woman and girls when they are most vulnerable.
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A man who pretends to be a woman because he really thinks he is a woman is safer than a man who pretends to be a woman but thinks he is a man? Personally I don’t see how either is better.

Why does the dress make a difference? Why is it ‘transgender’ people need to put on the culturally dependent clothing of the sex they think they are? If all that matters is that they think they are a woman why can’t everything remain the same? Why can’t a transgender keep his beard and wear pants? It’s like the greater the deception the better it is. Which seems odd. Also it reduces womanhood to clothing and makeup.
Lea101 said:
You don’t have to share a bathroom with them, but if they make you uncomfortable in general (ie just standing next to them in public or talking to them) …maybe you should explore the reasons why
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That is easy. Deluded people and people trying to act like someone they aren’t should make anyone nervous. If someone was trying to act like he was the king of England I’d be nervous around him. It is deception and dishonesty.
 
exnihilo said:
That is impossible. It is possible a man thinks he is a woman. Our biological sex is what makes us a man or a woman.
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Is it impossible? What you feel in your mind has no relationship with your biology? You don’t feel like your a man? What about gender dysphoria? Is it really a better explanation to say they are mentally ill? And if one is mentally ill is it really charitable to say they are dishonest people?
 
Thank you everyone for replying. I’m beginning to feel a little bit at ease hearing from other Catholics on the subject. I would have to say that I am uncomfortable around the transgendered because I fear them. I don’t know why I fear them other than they give the impression that it’s ok to make fun of life to the point of drastically changing your appearance. Life is not a joke. I’m female, so a man transgendering to a female makes me think he’s saying “Ha, ha. Look at me. I can be just like you.”, and then laugh some more. I feel the same way about a woman transgendering into a man. Maybe I’m imaging things or being judgmental. Either way, this all makes me run to Jesus.
 
IWantGod said:
Is it impossible? What you feel in your mind has no relationship with your biology? You don’t feel like your a man? What about gender dysphoria? Is it really a better explanation to say they are mentally ill? And if one is mentally ill is it really charitable to say they are dishonest people?
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I feel like a man because I am a man. I have no idea what it feels like to be a woman, nor does any man. The men who say they are a woman are making an extraordinary claim. And interestingly the key to being a woman seems to be particular mannerisms, makeup and dresses.

Being mentally ill doesn’t make it not dishonest. The culpability of the person may be diminished. But we judge the acts objectively. That is how we know mental illness in the first place.
 
Saphire said:
I have a problem sharing a bathroom with a transgendered person. That is not the case happening now, but if I had too, I would chose to leave the bathroom and come back at a later time. I spoke about this to another Catholic who accused me of not loving God. To love God is to love everyone. I told him, it’s not a matter of loving a transgendered person, it’s my inability to socialize with a transgendered to the point of refusing to share a bathroom with someone like that. It’s too much to ask of me right now.*** They make me uncomfortable.*** He said that I was still being unGodly. Is this true of me? Do I have to force myself to be able to socialize with the transgendered and conform to sharing a bathroom with them to be Godly? :confused:
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In what setting is this?
I ask because if it is a public bathroom for example at the mall, i doubt you would be having a conversation with the transgender person. Both people would go in, do their business, wash their hands and leave.
If it is at a school for example, where you know the person is transgender, it may be an issue since you will know the identity of the person. In that case just don’t socialize with the person, I guess you don’t have to socialize with who you don’t want to, its a free country.
I suspect though you need to figure out why they make you uncomfortable, do you think they are planning to hurt you etc?
 
Saphire said:
Thank you everyone for replying. I’m beginning to feel a little bit at ease hearing from other Catholics on the subject. I would have to say that I am uncomfortable around the transgendered because I fear them. I don’t know why I fear them other than they give the impression that it’s ok to make fun of life to the point of drastically changing your appearance. Life is not a joke. I’m female, so a man transgendering to a female makes me think he’s saying “Ha, ha. Look at me. I can be just like you.”, and then laugh some more. I feel the same way about a woman transgendering into a man. Maybe I’m imaging things or being judgmental. Either way, this all makes me run to Jesus.
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There is a cashier at a store we go to who is clearly a man but tries to appear female. I find being around him uncomfortable. When he speaks, and he tries to affect a woman’s voice, I find it disturbing. But I don’t have hatred for him. I feel pity for him that he has this struggle.
 
exnihilo said:
A man who pretends to be a woman because he really thinks he is a woman is safer than a man who pretends to be a woman but thinks he is a man? Personally I don’t see how either is better.

That is easy. Deluded people and people trying to act like someone they aren’t should make anyone nervous. If someone was trying to act like he was the king of England I’d be nervous around him. It is deception and dishonesty.
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I don’t know if you are being like this on purpose but…

A man dressing up as a woman to ogle at girls in the bathroom is not the same as a man dressing up as a woman because of gender dysphoria. As a woman, I’m telling you I would rather have the latter because he has no intention of hurting or objectifying me. Of course I would rather have only women in the room, but yes, there is a ‘better’ situation. A transgender over a pervert any day.

‘uncomfortable’ was the word used. Anyway. If the person is mentally ill and NOT DANGEROUS, I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Sympathetic would be a more accurate word to use. If you can’t have a loving conversation with them, you should honestly reflect. Aren’t we supposed to love radically, or does it only apply to certain groups of people?
 
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