Transgender with Catholic family?

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Sorry if this is the wrong section… Also sorry for posting so much about this.

Anyways, most of my family converted to Catholicism the last few years, my brother is being confirmed this year. I personally was one of the first in my family to become interested in Catholicism(when my mom was still struggling with what she believed), but things didn’t work out for me… in both attempts… so I just went back to worshiping in my own way, and just calling myself a Christian(easiest way to explain it).

However, the main thing that has been bothering me now, is I have recently come to terms with me being transgender. After much praying about it, and I am certain that this is what I am.

Also took until literally the last few hours, to find out who I am, and what I want to do with my life(I want to spend my life helping people in any way possible, since that makes me happy).

Now, I guess my main question, is how to deal with my family. I am 18, still living with my parents since I haven’t graduated high school, and I have literally no way of supporting myself. I imagine, if for whatever reason, I decided to come out and got disowned, I would either end up dead, or attempt to live off of just faith in God… though would most likely end up dead.

After much thinking and praying, I have decided that at least for now, I will not come out to my parents, since things are just too stressful with issues with my relatives.

However, I am considering coming out to my aunt, since she seems to be okay with the LGBT community, and she has already asked if I am gay. Only issue with that, is I feel like it would be bad to suddenly put this weight on her shoulders while she is already having issues of her own…

So… I guess my question, is how I should deal with coming out to my family? I really just don’t know. I feel they would be just okay with it, likely not supporting me, but they would likely not disown me.

My main concern, is it causing issues with their faith and the local Catholic church, when I eventually start to transition. For now, in all honesty, I am not suicidal, so I would be somewhat okay with just waiting a few more months to a year.

So wise people of the forum thing, any advice? If I were to come out, in the next 2 weeks, I would likely come out to my mom this week, then my dad and brother next week.
 
Why would you think that you would die without your parents’ financial support? At age 18, you have no plan to get a job, make an independent life?

Have you talked to a professional counselor about your belief that you are transgender?
 
Wow what a brave post!

I guess perhaps some people don’t know how to respond to this but let me respond by sharing with you my own journey. In part I understand you because I was where you were. WAS is the operative word here.

It’s all very complicated and maybe this isn’t quite the platform for this question I don’t know but since your list is still here I’m going to respond but let me first say to you that you will probably not like my response as it may not be what you want to here.
  1. You are absolutely loved by God and I’m not here to judge you.
  2. Loving you is not the same as accepting choices you make and yes you have a choice. The choice is in how you respond to the circumstances you face in life and I know full well that this is no simple thing to endure or go through so I’m not making light of your circumstances or saying that you had a choice in these circumstances. I understand that “THIS” your feelings, struggles, attractions none of these were a matter of choice for you but where you have the ability to make the choice is in how you will live your life despite how you feel or whom you may find yourself attracted to. This is no light decision but nonetheless a decision you have to make.
  3. I hope you will read what I have to say and carefully consider it.
Today I embrace the teachings of the Catholic Church and have committed to a chaste life in Christ. We’re all called to living chaste lives whether single or in marriage between one man and one woman. However, when I was younger I lived as a transgender and contemplated transitioning. In my pursuit of my relationship with Jesus I began to experience a change of heart if you will. I couldn’t reconcile being a Christian and being in a lesbian relationship. Now on issues of being transgender. There were lots of reasons for it. I’m not saying this is the case for you but this was my experience. I was sexually molested at the age of 6 by a teenage boy whose parents were friends with my parents. I was verbally, emotionally, and physically abused by my father. My mother died when I was two. I was bullied a lot in school etc. All of this created this toxic shame. As a result I began to cover up, the more I matured and went through the typical hormone changes etc I felt too vulnerable so I wore gender neutral clothing until I was in my early to mid 20’s then I went transgender, looked the part etc. It was no longer a secret with my Catholic family. I never had a typical “coming out” my father is like don’t ask don’t tell but the rest of my family thankfully understood that whom I found myself attracted too was not the sum of my identity. From very early in life I related to the masculine and the feminine was a real mystery. As a result of this toxic shame I began to hate myself, I began to use food for comfort, struggled with addiction, and plagued with thoughts of suicide. To say the least I went through a crisis in my faith on more than one occasion. If anybody knows darkness it is me.

Long story short, I came to see myself as a woman among many different kinds of women. Women are diverse just like men are diverse. I’m not sure if you’re m2f or f2m so I can only begin from sharing with you from my perspective as a woman.

God created us male and female in His Image. Today I know, believe, accept that I am a woman created in God’s Image and how I may feel doesn’t change all that. Feelings are so fickle and how we feel about our gender (the gender of the physical bodies we are born as) doesn’t change that. Surgery is not the answer either. Not sure if you know how often people regret getting the surgery and say it actually created more problems for them? But these stories people don’t hear but it happens far too often for it to be disregarded.

One major influencial person I met along the way in my faith journey was Sy Rogers. Although he’s Protestant I still wouldn’t be Christian let alone Catholic without him. How I met him is a comical story but I’ll never forget. He wasn’t just a celebrity because I actually had no clue who he was but I got to meet the person Sy Rogers before his public image. He was in the process of transitioning but had a radical conversion to the Christian faith got married to a woman he’s still married to and now is a grandfather. His story is even more dramatic then my story.

So… If you are looking for people to affirm your choices on this thread that’s not going to happen but you are loved and not alone and transitioning is not the only option for you. With the right kind of support there is another way despite how you feel. My testimony, Sy Rogers testimony, and the testimony of so many others out there show that there is another option.

Now how to deal with family… I’ll post a response to that in my next comment.
 
Just a few words of advice:

Family might not understand, chances are they won’t. It may be a difficult conversation not everybody is ready to have. You may not be ready to have that conversation with your family.

Seeing a counselor or physycholigist is something you should do and process these things with a professional but mist importantly seek out spiritual direction with a Priest. Spiritual Direction has been a great help to me and so has all the years I’ve spent getting counseling.

I never had that difficult conversation with family but I never had to say anything. We may think we hide pretty good but family will always know and you never know, maybe they’re waiting for you. At any rate, it’s scary if we’re still Dependant upon our parents maybe, now that you’re 18 start to become more independent. That way, if you find you need space from your family you could always get your own place or whatever but don’t be quick to run away. You may find that your parents love you and may just struggle how to show it to you. They may be confused too! Remember you’ve had many years to process through and when you share, if you share, the journey of them processing through will be just beginning. Regardless if they affirm your choices or not they probably love you and always will so don’t take them disagreeing with your choices as rejection and don’t expect everyone to affirm your choices either.

In all this I say again, you have other options out there. I will be praying with you and for you in all these things.
 
First of all, hello and welcome! And like others have said, that is a brave post.

My thoughts and questions that I pose to you are
  1. are you ready to come out and deal with the consequences that may arrive since you still live at home? Exactly what those consequences will be while living at home, only you can really guess at. Just something to consider.
2)You may want to try and talk with someone first (a professional) before you come out to your family, who can a)be supportive of you and b) give you some guidance and advice. You dont need to feel or be alone in this as your let your family know of your sexual orientation.
  1. At this point, try not to worry about how your local community will react. One step at a time. Family first. I think that is why it’s a good reason to seek some help and guidance of a professional. (You could ask a trusted teacher or guidance counselor to direct you to some resources in this area)
  2. God’s blessings to you. Being authentic with others can be a challenge, but you will find the courage as you are first authentic with yourself, which sounds like you are beginng to be.
 
Oh and how could I forget! A good Catholic resource to look into is Courage!

Check out Courage. There is also EnCourage for Catholics who have family members struggling with these issues.
 
Please do seek counseling and spiritual direction, hopefully ones the jive with your Catholic beliefs. Now I know that looking in Catholic circles can be a little wishy-washy with subjects like this since they are pretty touchy and society as a whole doesn’t really know what to do with it much less many specific individuals in the Church, but when you look at the depression and suicide rates of transgendered individuals I think it is definitely something that you should take seriously as a medical/psychological issue and seek support for especially if you are hiding it from your parents.

Obviously going to these sessions is going to be hard if you are hiding it and just entering into an independent phase of life, especially considering you will need access to your parents insurance, but spiritual direction might be a good start and then you could possibly move from there to private sessions with a professional based on the recommendation of your spiritual director.

I won’t comment on any of the actual procedures or treatments as I am far from qualified to make judgements, but in the end I hope and pray that you can learn to be comfortable with yourself and find acceptance because that seems to be a major issue for people in your position.
 
Good morning, dear one.

First off, you seem in a terrible rush to move forward, and I suspect this has a great deal to do with your age and state in life – still being in high school. There’s something strange about high school, especially senior year. I remember thinking we had it all under control. We knew so much about ourselves, the world, life, and most of my friends and I were doing pretty well with juggling family, work, school responsibilities.

Then we all graduated, and most of us headed to college. That first six months out of high school gave me the most amazing shock of my life. It’s hard to explain, but I remember being soooooooo thankful that I hadn’t made huge, life-changing choices “back then” (senior year) because there was so much I didn’t know I didn’t know yet. It was a huge time of, well, “growing up” that’s not about having a job or paying bills – I just can’t explain it. But that time is coming for you as well.

The only real advice I can offer you at this point is the same advice that was given me by our campus minister in college: “Don’t be afraid to move slowly. I have never regretted the times I chose to slow things down, or even stop for awhile. But my biggest regrets have come from the times I chose to throw off the brakes and plow ahead.”

She was talking about dating relationships; but the same thing could be said about your intentions to come out to the world and start transitioning. This may not be the best time to make decisions that have lifelong effects. Be willing to take the time to test the trueness, if you will, of your current feelings and conclusions. You probably wouldn’t be willing to get married in the next six months to someone you met today – and there’s no “easy divorce” to undo the procedures you’re talking about undergoing.

Counseling could help you know if your feelings and choices need to be acted on and in what time frame. Slow down a little and find a good listening ear. Strangers on the internet are probably just about your worst possible choice for that, myself included. While it may be the easiest method for you right now, the gravity of what you are talking about requires the most reliable of sources – face-to-face encounters with someone with the credentials to actually help you, not just spout off their opinions to you for how you should live your life.

And that, of course, is just one more opinion 😊

God bless you, dear one!

Gertie
 
Who was talking about dating relationships?

Anyway, seeing a Phychologist / Therapist is actually a requirement if somebody is going to transition.

Sometimes going to online discussion format is an easy way to start talking and processing through these things regardless of what is decided upon.

I too appreciate the time factor mentioned above. You’re only 18 and it’s true. We don’t fully come into “our own” if you will until our late 20’s. Not rushing into things is good advice. The choice to transition has life long consequences especially with hormone treatment not to mention everything else.

I too have never regretted times I’ve slowed down and waited until I was absolutely certain of the direction I would take my life and every choice I rushed into I regretted.

While I say there are alternative choices then to transition I know I’m not the one living your life. All I know is that my choice in how I responded to this same topic, having lived a transgender life for a while and processed through if I were going to transition. My feelings around my gender did change. I don’t feel less of a woman even though at times I may still feel different. I am however, secure in my feminity, something I once thought impossible. Just saying, I’ve been there and my feelings have changed and I’m so grateful I never made a decision that would have brought life long consequences. It wasn’t until my mid to late 20’s where I became comfortable with my feminity which BTW today most people wouldn’t know of my transgender past unless I were to tell them. Just saying what you feel today might not be what you feel tomorrow or five years down the road. Lots can happen from now to then. All the more reason to not rush into anything.
 
Is there a way that you can see a councilor on your own, perhaps through school or a community center that is free/sliding scale? You have many choices and obstacles ahead of you. I also think a spiritual advisor is invaluable but you will need both. Know that you are loved by God.
 
I thought I stated in my post that I wasn’t planning on coming out for a while.

Anyways, first question about not being able to support myself, I do have plans for the future, I would like to get my general education thing in music, then either go on to do the Musical Therapy course at a nearby college, do the required stuff to become a registered nurse, or something else medical related.

But for the time being, I can’t really get a job in my local town, since there aren’t really any around from what I know, I also do not have my driver’s permit yet.

However, if I did decide to come out around the time I graduate this year, my aunt has invited me to leave the state with her after I graduate high school.

For getting a therapist, I haven’t been able to do so yet, since I am obviously unable to go get one on my own, needing my parent’s insurance and also being in the country with no way of transporting myself(live about 40min from the nearest gender therapists). I also didn’t want to worry my parents with the plan I had of telling them I needed to see a therapist because I was cutting myself(I actually only cut once, and decided it was a very stupid decision, especially since 6 months later I still have a scar).

I also am homeschooled, so I don’t have any way of seeing a school counseler or anything.

For religious stuff, I would have loved to talk to the priest, but he is now retiring and having health issues so I would prefer not to bother him. Also the other religious leader people in my town are sort of close minded, the only open minded religious leader I know, my parents dislike him for a comment he made a few months back, and I can never find an alone time with him(I play airsoft with him).

Like I said, I don’t plan on coming out for a while, since I would hate to come out as a transwoman, then find out one of my suspicions is true, and I am actually agender/gender fluid/other non binary things(my gender identity is weird at the moment, for now I am happy that I can be mistaken for a woman, besides having a big build).

I already decided ages ago that if I did decide to transition, I would prefer not to have the surgery, since I personally don’t think it is right for me, plus it is so expensive.

I also know that I can’t change the body I was born in, but I do 100% believe that God created me the way I am for a reason, and I just don’t know that reason yet. So if I do turn out to be a transwoman and want to change my body for people to see how I see myself, then I will still accept God created me this way, and I can never technically change my birth gender.

Actually, one of my hopes, is that in heaven, we will either be genderless, or will be whatever gender we were meant to be(I never asked many questions in the past about heaven, so I don’t know if the Bible says anything about this… I used to be very afraid of death, now I think death is a positive thing).
 
So, what kind of advise are you seeking?

I find myself confused, since in your last post, you seem to have a plan in mind and you seem comfortable with that plan.
 
Fact is Avinia,

I’m going to say what I don’t here anybody else saying…

In the creation account we see multiple times what genders are affirmed in scripture and this is affirmed in the teachings of the Catholic Church. God created us male and female, he created us in his image as man and woman. We see in the bible that gender is important, how we see our gender. To have a belief system outside this is to basically hold to gnostic teaching. Gnosticism is a belief that separates the physical from the spiritual. Just because somebody doesn’t feel that their physical bodies match their gender as male or female that doesn’t mean one is not male or female. Nobody can be genderless or gender neutral or transgender, these terms were createdto describe ones feelings about their own gender. Feelings do not indicate true gender. And I have to say this because if we claim to be Catholic then we can’t affirm any other gender type classifications, that is, if one desires to speak truth and remain in alignment with the Catholic Church.

I’m sorry Avinia, but it seems to me that you’re looking for affirmation of choices you’ve already made. I have to say something because I don’t want to be that voice of affirming anything for you that would be outside of God’s best for you.

I’m a firm believer in grace, truth, and mercy but I’m also a firm believer in truth. Without truth grace and mercy become empty and meaningless. I’m not sure what you were or are expecting from this thread really all I can see is that you want your choices affirmed and validated.

I feel for you, I really do but our feelings and attractions is not our identity. We are much more than our feelings and attractions. I hope and pray that you are genuinely loved and cared for by your family and that you are able to receive that love. I hope and pray that God will give you greater clarity on who he created you to be. May you find hope and peace and may the light of Christ shine brightly, so brightly you see the path God is inviting you to.
 
To the OP:

As someone who who watched his best friend struggle with sexuality and identity, I know of the struggles that transgendered people and all of the LGBT community go through. I’m straight and cis, but I’ve peered behind the scenes, so to speak.

a) You don’t just decide that you’re trans, although you can have a strong inkling that you are. Gender Identity disorder is an actual diagnosis which only a qualified medical professional can make. I would strongly encourage you to get counseling from someone who is LGBT friendly before coming out.

b) I can put you in contact with people in the trans-community if you want more information. PM me.

c) How old are you? I know you aren’t rushing to come out and that is wise. That decision, especially for transgendered persons is a tough one. There’s a reason that LGBT youth make up a disproportionate percentage of the homeless population…

d) The APA, without qualification, is against any sort of conversion therapy for LGBT people. I’d be careful of any group that says that they can change your gender identity or sexual orientation. apa.org/about/policy/sexual-orientation.aspx
 
Avinia, you’re 18 and starting college in the fall. This is a difficult time for any young person, more so if you have underlying issues. My advice to you is focus on that transition in your life, and sort out your identity as you go along. That way, if your parents do react in the worst way possible and cut you off, you will at least be able to take care of yourself.

So, here’s what I’d do if I were in your shoes:
  1. Get a driver’s license. As you’ve seen, in many parts of the US it’s almost impossible to function as an adult without the ability to drive. Even if you’re just borrowing a parent’s car, this can be a big step in gaining more independence.
  2. If possible, move out of your parents’ home - whether to a dorm or an off-campus apartment - when you start school in the fall. In addition to allowing you to be more independent, you’ll have more ability to talk to counselors or clergy about your troubles without your family eavesdropping.
  3. Find a counselor at your college. Even if they can’t assist with your specific issues, they can probably refer you to someone who can. If there’s a Newman Center at your college, join and get to know people! A faith community is not to be underestimated, and chances are the priest(s) there can assist you too.
  4. Take a wide variety of classes and find out what career God is calling you to. Join organizations related to the careers you’re interested in - this will help you meet older students in these majors and learn what they’re like. Study, pray, and listen to what the Holy Spirit and your profs are telling you. A plan for the future will not only help you become more independent and self-supporting, but will give you a sense of accomplishment.
  5. If you’re able to, get a part-time job. This will help with your time management skills as well as give you more independence. (I am beginning to sound like a broken record, aren’t I? 🙂 )
Good luck! You’re in my prayers.
 
When it comes to “change” type conversations that is a touchy subject and very complicated. The APA isn’t necessarily the marker of truth. We all want to have our experiences validated because to validate a persons experience is to speak to their humanity.

This is a Catholic forum so rightly so that we affirm what the Catholic Church teaches on the subject. The Catholic Church doesn’t have an official stance on the topic of “change” but call people who struggle with SSA to a chaste life. In fact, we’re call called to a chast life whether single or in marriage between one man and one woman. We’re not the first generation to struggle with these issues. The church of Corinth had members of that church who once were involved with homosexual sexual sin. 1 For 6:9-11, … “and such WERE some of you…” verse 11.

This is my experience. While others speak from the place of “my friend or close relative struggled,” I say this is a topic I personally had to process through so unlike most people I speak from experience when I say there’s an alternative to embracing homosexual sexual sin and there is a biblical and Catholic view of sex, marriage, relationships, and gender.

My personal experience is one as a former transgender. I have experienced some change and while others completely disregard my experience oh well but it’s my experience and I don’t look to people to validate my experience. It is what it is and it’s my experience. Generally I encourage people to surrender their feelings and attractions to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and to seek a personal relationship with Jesus allowing God access to these deep places in our heart and perhaps we may even be pleasantly surprised with what God might do. After all, He’s God, he knit us together in our mothers womb, he knows us intimately and knows who he created us to be so it makes sense to look to the one who created us when it comes to our identity as a man or woman created in his image and ask the question why in scripture gender is important.

I never went through any kind of “change therapy” I simply invited God in, gave him access to the deep places of my heart, journeyed with God through pain and suffering, I went through a very real season of what is often referred to as “the dark night of the soul”

My goal was never to change my sexual orientation my goal was and still is holiness. I’ve heard it said, “the opposite to homosexuality is not heterosexuality. The opposite of homosexuality is holiness” but looking back God has touched me in ways I never thought possible. Like I said, in my experience, I have experienced some change. That change however needs to be unpacked because change for the most is not about going from gay to straight. Even in the “ex-gay” circles I’ve been around I never heard anybody promise me that I’d ever become “straight” if you will. That all said, I watcheda video of this lesbian identified psychologist who spoke about the fluidity of sexuality, in that the majority of people experience a more fluid nature when it comes to experiencing SSA. It’s worth a watch. Her research was incredible.

So here’s the change I’ve experienced:
  1. No longer hate self
  2. No longer suicidal
  3. I’ve accepted the reality of struggling with SSA
  4. I’m feminine because I am a woman and it’s OK if I don’t reflect the stereotype of what people think is feminine.
  5. I am a woman among many different kinds of women… Women are diverse, so are men and we’ve been called uniquely to reflect our womanhood and manhood.
  6. I’m comfortable in my skin and body
  7. I no longer feel like a man trapped in a woman’s body as I feel completely and all woman.
  8. I dress as a woman and no longer wear men’s clothing. In fact I no longer feel comfortable wearing men’s clothing so I turned away from the “cross-dressing” …
    9 I no longer relate to the masculine as I once did but relate more with the feminine.
I still experience SSA and I’m OK with that. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get married to a man but I’m OK living a chaste life in Christ as a single person. Sure there are challenges as a single person who for all intense and purposes could one day say, “guess I lived a celibate life” but there’s more to life than sex. Contrary to popular opinion, you can live a full and reasonably happy life as a celibate/ single person. Anyways, I’ve also heard it said that marriage is not there to make you happy. Marriage is there to make you holy. In other words, there’s more to the Catholic life than the pursuit of happiness.

While in the past I was exclusively same sex attracted but at times I find myself experiencing attractions towards men albeit it’s experienced far less.

The biggest transformation is that I know who I am, I’m secure in my identity as a woman created in God’s Image and appreciate the Catholic Churches teachings on The Theology of the body. It’s a great read if you ever want to read something more challenging.

I’m not here to say my experience will be the experience of others but my experiences reveal that there is an alternative and just maybe God has more for us than what we presently see.
 
When it comes to “change” type conversations that is a touchy subject and very complicated. The APA isn’t necessarily the marker of truth. We all want to have our experiences validated because to validate a persons experience is to speak to their humanity.

This is a Catholic forum so rightly so that we affirm what the Catholic Church teaches on the subject. The Catholic Church doesn’t have an official stance on the topic of “change” but call people who struggle with SSA to a chaste life. In fact, we’re call called to a chast life whether single or in marriage between one man and one woman. We’re not the first generation to struggle with these issues. The church of Corinth had members of that church who once were involved with homosexual sexual sin. 1 For 6:9-11, … “and such WERE some of you…” verse 11.

This is my experience. While others speak from the place of “my friend or close relative struggled,” I say this is a topic I personally had to process through so unlike most people I speak from experience when I say there’s an alternative to embracing homosexual sexual sin and there is a biblical and Catholic view of sex, marriage, relationships, and gender.

My personal experience is one as a former transgender. I have experienced some change and while others completely disregard my experience oh well but it’s my experience and I don’t look to people to validate my experience. It is what it is and it’s my experience. Generally I encourage people to surrender their feelings and attractions to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and to seek a personal relationship with Jesus allowing God access to these deep places in our heart and perhaps we may even be pleasantly surprised with what God might do. After all, He’s God, he knit us together in our mothers womb, he knows us intimately and knows who he created us to be so it makes sense to look to the one who created us when it comes to our identity as a man or woman created in his image and ask the question why in scripture gender is important.

I never went through any kind of “change therapy” I simply invited God in, gave him access to the deep places of my heart, journeyed with God through pain and suffering, I went through a very real season of what is often referred to as “the dark night of the soul”

My goal was never to change my sexual orientation my goal was and still is holiness. I’ve heard it said, “the opposite to homosexuality is not heterosexuality. The opposite of homosexuality is holiness” but looking back God has touched me in ways I never thought possible. Like I said, in my experience, I have experienced some change. That change however needs to be unpacked because change for the most is not about going from gay to straight. Even in the “ex-gay” circles I’ve been around I never heard anybody promise me that I’d ever become “straight” if you will. That all said, I watcheda video of this lesbian identified psychologist who spoke about the fluidity of sexuality, in that the majority of people experience a more fluid nature when it comes to experiencing SSA. It’s worth a watch. Her research was incredible.

So here’s the change I’ve experienced:
  1. No longer hate self
  2. No longer suicidal
  3. I’ve accepted the reality of struggling with SSA
  4. I’m feminine because I am a woman and it’s OK if I don’t reflect the stereotype of what people think is feminine.
  5. I am a woman among many different kinds of women… Women are diverse, so are men and we’ve been called uniquely to reflect our womanhood and manhood.
  6. I’m comfortable in my skin and body
  7. I no longer feel like a man trapped in a woman’s body as I feel completely and all woman.
  8. I dress as a woman and no longer wear men’s clothing. In fact I no longer feel comfortable wearing men’s clothing so I turned away from the “cross-dressing” …
    9 I no longer relate to the masculine as I once did but relate more with the feminine.
I still experience SSA and I’m OK with that. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get married to a man but I’m OK living a chaste life in Christ as a single person. Sure there are challenges as a single person who for all intense and purposes could one day say, “guess I lived a celibate life” but there’s more to life than sex. Contrary to popular opinion, you can live a full and reasonably happy life as a celibate/ single person. Anyways, I’ve also heard it said that marriage is not there to make you happy. Marriage is there to make you holy. In other words, there’s more to the Catholic life than the pursuit of happiness.

While in the past I was exclusively same sex attracted but at times I find myself experiencing attractions towards men albeit it’s experienced far less.

The biggest transformation is that I know who I am, I’m secure in my identity as a woman created in God’s Image and appreciate the Catholic Churches teachings on The Theology of the body. It’s a great read if you ever want to read something more challenging.

I’m not here to say my experience will be the experience of others but my experiences reveal that there is an alternative and just maybe God has more for us than what we presently see.
 
OP - I will pray for you, I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through.

On a side note: I’m a single heterosexual male living a chaste lifestyle - something that took me a while to accept coming from a non-Catholic background but now I do, I understand it, and I embrace it. It might be for the rest of my life and it might not be. My point is that although I am not going through the same struggles that some of you have or are going through; I have (and still do to some extent) go through the struggle of living a chaste life. So although my own personal struggle is not the same, it is kind of related and I have found that whenever I have issues or problems I can turn to Christ. I’ve found reading the Bible, studying Catholicism, reaching out to Priests and being passionate about living my life for God rather than for myself has been the most rewarding and powerful thing to help me through any personal struggles.

I also recommend going to the couragerc website!
 
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