Transgender

  • Thread starter Thread starter Derek_Leonard
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
D

Derek_Leonard

Guest
I have a childhood friend of about 36yrs who has “come forward” as wanting to and proceeding with a transexual procedure(s) to become a woman, something he felt he always has been since we were kids.

I had heard he had been dressing as a woman sometimes but I never asked him about it because I see him so infrequently. He is now in the process of becoming a woman with hormone therapy and I imagine more than one operation. Initially, about 16 months ago, I told him I still loved him as I have since we are children, but I do wonder how do handle this. He has talked about his gay, lesbian, and transgender friends and I wonder if I have anything incommon with him/her (he goes by a female name now). I try to “love my neighbor” and to try to treat people as I think Christ calls us too, but this outside the box for me.

How do I deal with this transexual friend? I need sound Catholic advice on this, please.

Thanks,

Derek
 
Pray for him.

It doesn’t seem likely you are in a position you could influence him. However, if you do find yourself in such a position, you could encourage him to accept himself as he is made.
 
I don’t know if “sound Catholic advice” exists on that topic. All we have are opinions. Some will bring up the xx- xy chromosome/intersex/hermaphrodite issue, some will knock you with Old Testament verses that say “cross-dressing” is an abomination to God etc. You can try the “search” button at the top of the page, but don’t expect to find anything substantial in the way of “sound Catholic advice”. But allow me to say that your compassion and your desire to help your childhood friend, I find moving.
 
I don’t know if “sound Catholic advice” exists on that topic. All we have are opinions.

With all due respect, the above statement is blasphemous.

And the statements from the Old Testament about cross dressing are not to be
set aside, ridiculed, downplayed or mocked. That is tantamount
to openly insulting the Holy Spirit.

I too have a relative who has done this, and I still love him,
but he wants and has taken vengeance on the entire family because we won’t all jump on the bandwagon and say that what he did was righteous and good in the sight of God.
He did something very, very spiteful to all of his father’s brothers and sisters and their families, spiteful and vengeful. WE did not treat him that way. We just did not “cheer on” what we still believe was a big mistake. But him we treated, and continue to treat, with kindness and respect. HE took the vengeance.
That’s HOW willful people behave.
 
Jaypeeto4 said:
I don’t know if “sound Catholic advice” exists on that topic. All we have are opinions.

With all due respect, the above statement is blasphemous.

And the statements from the Old Testament about cross dressing are not to be
set aside, ridiculed, downplayed or mocked. That is tantamount
to openly insulting the Holy Spirit.

I too have a relative who has done this, and I still love him,
but he wants and has taken vengeance on the entire family because we won’t all jump on the bandwagon and say that what he did was righteous and good in the sight of God.
He did something very, very spiteful to all of his father’s brothers and sisters and their families, spiteful and vengeful. WE did not treat him that way. We just did not “cheer on” what we still believe was a big mistake. But him we treated, and continue to treat, with kindness and respect. HE took the vengeance.
That’s HOW willful people behave.
Click to expand...
Your point is well taken, Jaypeeto4. I’m at a loss for words here. I think the OT condemned “cross-dressing” done for frivolous/sexual reasons (as a philia, if you will), but having the identity of a female when your body says otherwise, I believe, is in a whole different world. It strikes at the core of who they are. They have to choose between conceiling who they really are and be more or less accepted socially, or conform their outward appearance to their identity (cross-dressing or transexualism) and face scorn, rejection, being ostracised etc. This is even worse than homosexuality because at least a homosexual can make a distinction between his sexual orientation and his identity. If i had to pick one of the worst psychological torments to plague someone, disconnect between one’s identity and one’s gender would be it. I was not talking disparagingly about OT verses, simply saying I thought quoting them was grossly inappropriate in a situation like this.
 
Okay, I misread. I’m not saying no sound Catholic advice per se exists on the subject, but perusing other threads (not all, some) dealing with transgender (or other appellations), all I saw was different ideas being tossed around and nothing that could constitute sound advice. I sometimes like to see how other misfits deal with life, their perspective etc. A poster I respect coined the term “mental wreck” 😉 that’d be a pretty good description of me., I can relate much more easily to people for whom this life is a long and fastidious walk across a sometimes seemingly unending desert.
 
Derek_Leonard said:
I have a childhood friend of about 36yrs who has “come forward” as wanting to and proceeding with a transexual procedure(s) to become a woman, something he felt he always has been since we were kids.

I had heard he had been dressing as a woman sometimes but I never asked him about it because I see him so infrequently. He is now in the process of becoming a woman with hormone therapy and I imagine more than one operation. Initially, about 16 months ago, I told him I still loved him as I have since we are children, but I do wonder how do handle this. He has talked about his gay, lesbian, and transgender friends and I wonder if I have anything incommon with him/her (he goes by a female name now). I try to “love my neighbor” and to try to treat people as I think Christ calls us too, but this outside the box for me.

How do I deal with this transexual friend? I need sound Catholic advice on this, please.

Thanks,

Derek
Click to expand...
Pray for them and practice penance and mortification for their conversion. Thank God, for not being overcome by a worse temptation. Know that you are weak and could just as easily be overcome by the same problems your friend deals with.

“There is no sin, or crime committed by another which I myself am not capable of committing through my weakness; and if I have not committed it, it is because God, in his mercy, has not allowed me to and has preserved me in good.”–Saint Augustine

Think thoughts of love and patience toward your friend.

“Although you might see something bad, do not instantly judge your neighbour, but, rather, excuse him interiorly. Excuse the intention if you are unable to excuse the action. Consider it as if done in ignorance, or unawares, or through weakness. If the matter is so weighty that you cannot possible overlook it, then try to believe the following and say to yourself: the temptation must have been very strong”–Saint Bernard
 
Derek_Leonard said:
I have a childhood friend of about 36yrs who has “come forward” as wanting to and proceeding with a transexual procedure(s) to become a woman, something he felt he always has been since we were kids.

I had heard he had been dressing as a woman sometimes but I never asked him about it because I see him so infrequently. He is now in the process of becoming a woman with hormone therapy and I imagine more than one operation. Initially, about 16 months ago, I told him I still loved him as I have since we are children, but I do wonder how do handle this. He has talked about his gay, lesbian, and transgender friends and I wonder if I have anything incommon with him/her (he goes by a female name now). I try to “love my neighbor” and to try to treat people as I think Christ calls us too, but this outside the box for me.

How do I deal with this transexual friend? I need sound Catholic advice on this, please.

Thanks,

Derek
Click to expand...
The position of the Church:

religioustolerance.org/transsexu15.htm
 
I’ve got both lesbian and gay friends and I may not be the soundest Catholic out there bbut I would dang sure be there for them. Something may come up and they need someone. You could be that someone to offer a glimmer of hope.
 
Derek_Leonard said:
I have a childhood friend of about 36yrs who has “come forward” as wanting to and proceeding with a transexual procedure(s) to become a woman, something he felt he always has been since we were kids.
Click to expand...
I’m curious how one knows or feels like the opposite sex? I can’t say I know or feel what it is like to be anyone else let alone a whole group of people. In order to feel like or be equivalent to another sex you would first have to establish the essential characteristics of that sex. Since I would consider at the very least the sexual organs to be absolutely essential and no surgery can actually make a person a fully functioning member of the other sex I would think it impossible to make someone become the other sex. All that will be done is mutilation.

Mutilation being wrong I think you must not encourage or countenance this change. As others said you can and should also pray for your friend. As for what else to do I would ask myself how I would handle any other situation where a friend planned to engage in something seriously wrong and disordered. Certainly you always should show love but that does not mean you encourage or participate in anything wrong.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top