Transition to Modesty

[OneAugustKnight]

I’m looking for advice on transitioning to Mary-like modesty. Anyone made the transition? I
don’t want to look frumpy, sloppy, or dated. I like the long skirts but am struggling to find slips and shirts. Can anyone recommend shirts that fit and don’t show the outline of your bra, but aren’t cut for men? I usually find shirts are too tight in the chest and waist or too big in the shoulders, or completely shapeless (in that case I look frumpy and overweight). the shirts with long sleeves tend to be low cut, and layering is pretty uncomfortable when it is 100 degrees out.

 

[Berean2]

Best bet? Be your own seamstress (buy a good used–all metal innards!—Kenmore from a Singer place, or else a used all metal innards Singer from a Bernina place, etc.). You’ll not only save money, but also be able to fit things precisely to your own proportions, and you won’t be stuck with the flimsy plastic “fabrics” that Madison Avenue forces on you these days. Sewing our own clothes allows you to be totally unique in your wardrobe.

 

[IntegraCatholic]

I wish I had more advice for you, but being a man, I haven’t done much research. I know there are good websites online for modest clothes, though I don’t know whether they’ll be to your liking. Many of them do have frumpy clothes, but some are in quite good taste. They are perhaps more “formal” than you would like. That being said, I highly encourage that while you make the transition to modesty you also consider the transition to more proper attire that will accentuate your femininity and your dignity as a lady. The best part about this is that you will not have to be “dated” in the sense that you must fit into any particular age, but you will be elegant and dignified for any time. I have many friends who dress this way, and they are always treated much more properly by men (if men aren’t literally proposing to them on their airplane flights, they are at least helping them load their suitcases into the overhead compartment). They receive much more respect in everyday life (from my own observation), whether at the gas station, grocery store, restaurant, out on the town, or anyplace else. Some of my friends were considering making these kinds of clothes to sell online but ended up opting to sick to first communion dresses, baptismal garments, etc., for the time being. If they end up expanding their selection, I’ll try to let you know, though.

 

[Miss_Linda]

I was exactly where you were a few years ago. I learned to sew my own clothes in order to make skirts that were a modest length and blouses that were not low cut. There are patterns that you can make without being an expert seamstress (as with most things, the more you sew, the better you become).

My point is, I have made that journey and it can be done. Like you, I didn’t want to look frumpy, I wanted to look well groomed and feminine. It is not too tall an order.

I also live in a place where it’s 100 degrees, so most of the garments I sew are not made of heavy material.

I don’t want to discourage you, but it can be rather difficult to find modest clothing without making it yourself. I have found a few sites that offer modest clothing (usually run by orthodox Jews or Mormons).

I would be happy to offer you some specific patterns that are easy to sew if you are a beginner, but I don’t know if you are interested in learning to sew. Please feel free to send me a private message if you would like to discuss this “off-line”. This is a subject I have a keen interest in, and I think you will find that transitioning to modest clothing has a remarkable impact on your spiritual life as well. It becomes an external manifestation of a spiritual transformation. And no, you don’t have to look frumpy!

May God bless you on this journey!

 

[Onegin]

As much as I hate to say it, ,what is modest is somewhat subjective and what looks “good” on one person may not look good on another because we come in all shapes and sizes. So, in that sense, while there are certain rules of modesty you can observe, what will necessarily look fashionable on you is going to depend on your shape and such, which helps dictate what type of clothes will look most flattering.

For example, on larger women, extremely loose clothing will look unflattering as will extremely tight clothing on any body shape. It can be hard to find some truly quality clothing that is both classy and modest at a discount price. A few stores that I like are John Lewis and Ann Taylor but you have to save first. The good news is that the styles don’t really age so you don’t need a ton of variety. One nice “little black dress” can be worn in 100 different ways if you’re creative.

Hope this helps and best of luck finding something!

 

[lizaanne]

I’m looking for advice on transitioning to Mary-like modesty. Anyone made the transition? I
don’t want to look frumpy, sloppy, or dated. I like the long skirts but am struggling to find slips and shirts. Can anyone recommend shirts that fit and don’t show the outline of your bra, but aren’t cut for men? I usually find shirts are too tight in the chest and waist or too big in the shoulders, or completely shapeless (in that case I look frumpy and overweight). the shirts with long sleeves tend to be low cut, and layering is pretty uncomfortable when it is 100 degrees out.

There is a great new forum starting here on CAF you may want to consider joining: Modesty in Dress and Deportment

~Liza

 

[tapinu33]

I too am changing to modest dressing. I have so far shopped on Ebay (marks and spencers UK on Ebay have really nice long skirts, especially their Per Una range) for long skirts and Soft surroundings.com. They are expensive but timeless. I am looking for tops that are flattering but not fitting, …I will post if I find any.
I desperately want to cover my head in Church but will be the only one, I know it is the RIGHT thing to do Please pray for my courage!!
God Bless you All

 

[Miss_Linda]

I too am changing to modest dressing. I have so far shopped on Ebay (marks and spencers UK on Ebay have really nice long skirts, especially their Per Una range) for long skirts and Soft surroundings.com. They are expensive but timeless. I am looking for tops that are flattering but not fitting, …I will post if I find any.
I desperately want to cover my head in Church but will be the only one, I know it is the RIGHT thing to do Please pray for my courage!!
God Bless you All

Oh, yes, Soft Surroundings is a great place to get beautiful, timeless clothing. You know, Drapers & Damons has some nice, modest tops; however, their clothes are a little on the casual side so it may or may not be quite what you are looking for.

By the way, if you are interested in interacting with others who cover themselves in Church, you may want to visit the Veiled in Grace group. There is a thread in that group that talks about the difficulties we experience when we first start to cover at Church, especially if we are one of the only women at Mass to do so.

 

[OneAugustKnight]

I wish I had more advice for you, but being a man, I haven’t done much research. I know there are good websites online for modest clothes, though I don’t know whether they’ll be to your liking. Many of them do have frumpy clothes, but some are in quite good taste. They are perhaps more “formal” than you would like. That being said, I highly encourage that while you make the transition to modesty you also consider the transition to more proper attire that will accentuate your femininity and your dignity as a lady. The best part about this is that you will not have to be “dated” in the sense that you must fit into any particular age, but you will be elegant and dignified for any time. I have many friends who dress this way, and they are always treated much more properly by men (if men aren’t literally proposing to them on their airplane flights, they are at least helping them load their suitcases into the overhead compartment). They receive much more respect in everyday life (from my own observation), whether at the gas station, grocery store, restaurant, out on the town, or anyplace else. Some of my friends were considering making these kinds of clothes to sell online but ended up opting to sick to first communion dresses, baptismal garments, etc., for the time being. If they end up expanding their selection, I’ll try to let you know, though.

I like formal clothes, I like the more tailored fashion of audrey hepburn and Jackie Kennedy. The women are worse than the men as far as respect goes, they always comment about my assets and flaws and compare and I am just fed up with it. If you could get some pointers from your friends on clothing I would really appreciate it.

There is a great new forum starting here on CAF you may want to consider joining: Modesty in Dress and Deportment

~Liza

Thanks I just did!

I too am changing to modest dressing. I have so far shopped on Ebay (marks and spencers UK on Ebay have really nice long skirts, especially their Per Una range) for long skirts and Soft surroundings.com. They are expensive but timeless. I am looking for tops that are flattering but not fitting, …I will post if I find any.
I desperately want to cover my head in Church but will be the only one, I know it is the RIGHT thing to do Please pray for my courage!!
God Bless you All

Keep me updated on the tops! they are so hard to find! Said a Hail Mary for you!

 

[ljubim]

What kind of modesty are you talking about… like the kind where you show no skin or the kind where you wear dresses and skirts to the knee?(this one I can give advice) Also what kind of body type are you? If you’re thinner then it’s quite easy for more fitted skirts/dresses to be modest. If you’re short, then you will have a bunch of dresses/skirts to choose from that will cover!

Basically you’re going to have to put in a lot of effort to see this through. It’s going to take a lot of tiring shopping trips, fabric shop runs, and years to build up a wardrobe that you can consistently remain comfortably modest. You’ll also need to be willing to pay up to sixty dollars for a good dress - remember you might have paid thirty for a shirt and skirt anyways God Bless!!

 

[Miss_Linda]

What kind of modesty are you talking about… like the kind where you show no skin or the kind where you wear dresses and skirts to the knee?(this one I can give advice) Also what kind of body type are you? If you’re thinner then it’s quite easy for more fitted skirts/dresses to be modest. If you’re short, then you will have a bunch of dresses/skirts to choose from that will cover!

Basically you’re going to have to put in a lot of effort to see this through. It’s going to take a lot of tiring shopping trips, fabric shop runs, and years to build up a wardrobe that you can consistently remain comfortably modest. You’ll also need to be willing to pay up to sixty dollars for a good dress - remember you might have paid thirty for a shirt and skirt anyways God Bless!!

You know, my experience on both the cost and the time to develop a modest wardrobe has been very different than that. I routinely make very nice clothing at a significantly lower cost than I could purchase them. But I have also found that if I pay attention to sales I can find modest ready-to-wear clothing for a very reasonable price, as well. As far as the length of time it took me to develop a modest wardrobe, I found that it all happened reasonably quickly. I made a few skirts, bought a few skirts, added some modest tops (some of which I made and some I purchased ready-to-wear) and within a short period of time I had a basic wardrobe. After that I just added pieces that coordinate nicely with other pieces. It’s really not been too difficult or too pricey for me.

 

[Miss_Linda]

I like formal clothes, I like the more tailored fashion of audrey hepburn and Jackie Kennedy.

Monica, I have a very similar fashion sense. Those are my fashion idols, as well. The wonderful thing about their style of dress, if you look at pictures of their clothing, is that they were not flashy and certainly not immodest. It’s easy to make classic, elegant, chic pieces from simple patterns using nice fabrics.

 

[scruggle]

I am so glad to see this thread! I am new to the forum and was hoping to find some good info on switching over. I am a preschool teacher so I am going to have a hard time “mentally” switching to a more medst approach. I am headed to check out the modesty group now… great answers!!

 

[OneAugustKnight]

What kind of modesty are you talking about… like the kind where you show no skin or the kind where you wear dresses and skirts to the knee?(this one I can give advice) Also what kind of body type are you? If you’re thinner then it’s quite easy for more fitted skirts/dresses to be modest. If you’re short, then you will have a bunch of dresses/skirts to choose from that will cover!

Basically you’re going to have to put in a lot of effort to see this through. It’s going to take a lot of tiring shopping trips, fabric shop runs, and years to build up a wardrobe that you can consistently remain comfortably modest. You’ll also need to be willing to pay up to sixty dollars for a good dress - remember you might have paid thirty for a shirt and skirt anyways God Bless!!

I’m talking about going mostly to dresses and skirts. The main thing is I don’t like when you can see someone’s bra outline because the shirt is too tight or material is too thin, and I don’t really think jeans are flattering. My body type is I’m 5’4" and thin and straight.

 

[ljubim]

I’m talking about going mostly to dresses and skirts. The main thing is I don’t like when you can see someone’s bra outline because the shirt is too tight or material is too thin, and I don’t really think jeans are flattering. My body type is I’m 5’4" and thin and straight.

Oh you’re going to find things very easily then! For skirts you can get some pencil skirts(they look very tailored - and grey is nice to match things with). You can get some loose floral and frilly shirts(sale racks of Charlotte Russe/Forever 21) to tuck into the pencil skirts and maybe pair with a sweater. A lot of stores are selling those skirts with the black band around the waist, so because of your height those should easily cover your knees. Also there’s some skirts they call bubble skirts that you can make longer and full, 50’s style, by undoing the hem and letting the fabric out, and then sealing it with a little tiny hem. (I did this with an old one that was too short)

For dresses you’ll want to try H&M, Dress Barn, Sears, and the sale racks of BCBG, etc. The nicer ones that look young and not frumpy can sometimes be out of your price range, so you can get ideas from Anthropolgie, Burda Style, Mod Cloth, (and looking at pics of Audrey and Jackie ) then head to the sewing machines and experiment with different patterns. You can also try consignment/vintage shops but if you’re not in a big city chances are you won’t find anything.

 

[doanli]

I am in the same position as you are in, and I’ve been pretty fortunate finding the right clothes at consignment or thrift shops.