Treating mass, like a night at the movies

[whatevergirl]

I don’t know where to put this, I thought this might be the best section?

Lately, my husband and I have been noticing at this new parish we are attending, that adults, not kids, will be walking in and out of mass…going to the rest room…getting drinks of water. If you sit close enough to the front door, you can see people roaming around, in and out…in and out. I mean…are they looking for a concession stand? Seriously. It is beyond rude, and during the last mass, the priest’s concentration was actually broken and he looked at the door with confusion, as to why there was so much noise and commotion. If you have small children, and you need to walk out of mass, that is a given. If you are elderly, and perhaps need to use the restroom a lot, understandable. But, I have been seeing many people getting up, walking in and out…standing in the back talking to someone they know–DURING MASS–loud enough for people to hear–and then strolling back to their seat. There is no carpeting, so you hear click clack of their shoes.

C’mon. This isn’t a night at the movies. And, frankly, I have seen more polite behavior AT THE MOVIES.

So, I took my kids to mass last night…the Sunday vigil mass…and it was soooooo different. None of that went on. So, our conclusion is that this must be something that only goes on on Sundays?

Anyways…just wanted to vent. Sorry, but I feel like something should be done. But what? I just wonder where the respect of the holy mass has gone to?

 

[Linnyo]

You think that’s bad? Last week the priest in my parish had to lecture people before Mass bacause kids had gone to the toilets and thrown wet loo roll onto the ceilings leaving a terrible mess, water all over the floors and just been little vandals. And this was during Mass! Now nobody can go to the loo unattanded by a parent or Father says he will interrupt Mass to stop them!

[Edited by Moderator]

 

[whatevergirl]

You think that’s bad? Last week the priest in my parish had to lecture people before Mass bacause kids had gone to the toilets and thrown wet loo roll onto the ceilings leaving a terrible mess, water all over the floors and just been little vandals. And this was during Mass! Now nobody can go to the loo unattanded by a parent or Father says he will interrupt Mass to stop them!

wow! That’s nuts!

I don’t get it. I suppose when I was a kid, things happened during mass. But, it seems to be the norm now. Like noise, commotion, talking, laughing…all during mass…I don’t get it. I wish the priest would make some type of announcement before mass…the choir leader usually asks everyone to shut off their cell phones, but maybe a message of respecting others around you–would be in order.

 

[Phemie]

wow! That’s nuts!

I don’t get it. I suppose when I was a kid, things happened during mass. But, it seems to be the norm now. Like noise, commotion, talking, laughing…all during mass…I don’t get it. I wish the priest would make some type of announcement before mass…the choir leader usually asks everyone to shut off their cell phones, but maybe a message of respecting others around you–would be in order.

Things were quite different when I was a kid.

One, there was no bathroom at the church so you went before you left home or held it in until you got back home. The odd time you might see a parent leave with a kid and you knew it was an emergency pee if they came back in.

Two, kids were not known to starve or die of thirst in the 60-75 minutes it took for Mass to be celebrated so no snacks, juice or water was brought for them – and adults didn’t arrive at Mass carrying water bottles as though they were going to do some strenuous exercises that would require rehydration.

Kids were expected to be quiet, even fidgetting was frowned upon. I can’t recall many babies at church either, usually kids were left home until they were about 3-4. Not that I mind babies at church, I certainly brought mine and they learned the difference between a living/play room and church quite early.

Today, my experience is that many families bring little kids to church then look for a ‘children’s liturgy’ to entertain them because they don’t want to have to try to maintain discipline. When a mom comes to Mass with a kid who can’t walk yet and leaves to go to take this child to “children’s liturgy”, essentially a crafts hour, not returning until just before or even after communion, can she be said to have been at Mass?

 

[whatevergirl]

[Edited by Moderator]

Phemie! You hit the nail on the head! What ever happened to just waiting until mass is through to get a drink of water or whatever? And when I hear cell phones going off…unless you are a doctor, or you have a job that requires you to be on call–shut your cell phone off! I’m sure whoeever needs to reach you, will understand if you don’t return the call for 60 minutes.

 

[boppaid]

I agree with some of these comments, but not with the bathroom or drinks issues. MANY people are prone to bladder infections and should not just “hold it”. Plus, I know 2 people with bladder conditions which causes them to have to go 2-4 times per HOUR! Additionally, with children, when they have to go you don’t want to always tell them to hold it…I’d personally rather take my children during mass than have them have an accident in the pew!! Finally, many people require water often due to medications, dry mouth, etc. My mother in law is one. She will literally vomit if she isn’t kept continuously hydrated. Just some thoughts. It’s easy for us to sit back and judge, but when we don’t have all the facts, sometimes it’s not fair. I find it best to concentrate on our Lord.

 

[ElizabethPH]

We have a suggestion box.

I just left a note lately about what might be done about the noisy exit people make after Mass; and that isn’t it irreverent to the Lord and disrespectful to folks staying after Mass to pray.

I am thankful we don’t have a lot of roaming around during Mass except for parent’s with children.

 

[whatevergirl]

I agree with some of these comments, but not with the bathroom or drinks issues. MANY people are prone to bladder infections and should not just “hold it”. Plus, I know 2 people with bladder conditions which causes them to have to go 2-4 times per HOUR! Additionally, with children, when they have to go you don’t want to always tell them to hold it…I’d personally rather take my children during mass than have them have an accident in the pew!! :eek Finally, many people require water often due to medications, dry mouth, etc. My mother in law is one. She will literally vomit if she isn’t kept continuously hydrated. Just some thoughts. It’s easy for us to sit back and judge, but when we don’t have all the facts, sometimes it’s not fair. I find it best to concentrate on our Lord.

We are not judging–I agree with your sentiments on drinking water, etc…bladder infections. I am not sure what that has to do with people stopping to chat with people on their way back from the bathroom though? During mass. That is more what I’m saying. I have no idea someone’s medical condition, but they should be respectful to the priest, for starters, to not engage in conversation during mass…when they are making their way back and forth to wherever it is that they are going. If you need to use the restroom–no one should judge that, certainly-but leave the congregation quietly. There’s no reason for people to be distracting the priest during mass.

 

[Phemie]

I agree with some of these comments, but not with the bathroom or drinks issues. MANY people are prone to bladder infections and should not just “hold it”. Plus, I know 2 people with bladder conditions which causes them to have to go 2-4 times per HOUR! Additionally, with children, when they have to go you don’t want to always tell them to hold it…I’d personally rather take my children during mass than have them have an accident in the pew!! :eek Finally, many people require water often due to medications, dry mouth, etc. My mother in law is one. She will literally vomit if she isn’t kept continuously hydrated. Just some thoughts. It’s easy for us to sit back and judge, but when we don’t have all the facts, sometimes it’s not fair. I find it best to concentrate on our Lord.

True there are medical conditions, but when the 4 kids in one family consume at least 2 juice boxes each (hard to miss, they’re looking back at me as they’re drinking) and then each one has to go to the toilet at least twice you know that if they left the juice at home kids wouldn’t have to go that often if at all.

I’ve even seen people come into church with coffee – I mean, really, can’t wait until AFTER Mass to do the coffee run??

 

[sneakers]

I don’t know where to put this, I thought this might be the best section?

Lately, my husband and I have been noticing at this new parish we are attending, that adults, not kids, will be walking in and out of mass…going to the rest room…getting drinks of water. If you sit close enough to the front door, you can see people roaming around, in and out…in and out. I mean…are they looking for a concession stand? Seriously. It is beyond rude, and during the last mass, the priest’s concentration was actually broken and he looked at the door with confusion, as to why there was so much noise and commotion. If you have small children, and you need to walk out of mass, that is a given. If you are elderly, and perhaps need to use the restroom a lot, understandable. But, I have been seeing many people getting up, walking in and out…standing in the back talking to someone they know–DURING MASS–loud enough for people to hear–and then strolling back to their seat. There is no carpeting, so you hear click clack of their shoes.

C’mon. This isn’t a night at the movies. And, frankly, I have seen more polite behavior AT THE MOVIES.

So, I took my kids to mass last night…the Sunday vigil mass…and it was soooooo different. None of that went on. So, our conclusion is that this must be something that only goes on on Sundays?

Anyways…just wanted to vent. Sorry, but I feel like something should be done. But what? I just wonder where the respect of the holy mass has gone to?

Sounds like a church I attended once, last March, in Cary, North Carolina. There were folks in and out, sitting in the entrance area just talking during mass. After mass, a young teen even climbed over one of the pews to get out, because people weren’t exiting the pews fast enough for him!

 

[MarieVeronica]

Dear whatevergirl. I think this is going on a lot, nowadays. Just this morning, at Mass… there was a very loud commotion during the consecration. A young couple with 3 small children arrived. Our main church is all glass in the back with several doors leading in and out of the church, into the narthex. The 2 older of the children ran in and out of the glass doors (whooping like banshees), going up the entire back end of the church… we’re talking 3 separate doors… and the parents did NOTHING (that I could detect). The commotion was very disruptive. I saw one usher start after the children… but it seemed as soon as he caught sight of mom and dad… he backed off.

While we’re sort of on the subject of the seemingly disappearing solemn-ness of the Mass… I’d like to know when it became “ok” for everyone to applaud the choir (sometimes, after each song)? This never occurred in my previous parish (out of state, or I’d go back). It makes me feel like I’m at a concert… watching a performance.

I can only speak for myself… but I’m not there to give glory to the choir (by applause). The choir and all of us are there to give glory to God… through our participation at the holy Mass (which includes music). I feel so old, because I can remember a time when there was a profound sense of reverence before, during and after the Mass. And I’m only 48!

 

[whatevergirl]

Dear whatevergirl. I think this is going on a lot, nowadays. Just this morning, at Mass… there was a very loud commotion during the consecration. A young couple with 3 small children arrived. Our main church is all glass in the back with several doors leading in and out of the church, into the narthex. The 2 older of the children ran in and out of the glass doors (whooping like banshees), going up the entire back end of the church… we’re talking 3 separate doors… and the parents did NOTHING (that I could detect). The commotion was very disruptive. I saw one usher start after the children… but it seemed as soon as he caught sight of mom and dad… he backed off.

While we’re sort of on the subject of the seemingly disappearing solemn-ness of the Mass… I’d like to know when it became “ok” for everyone to applaud the choir (sometimes, after each song)? This never occurred in my previous parish (out of state, or I’d go back). It makes me feel like I’m at a concert… watching a performance.

I can only speak for myself… but I’m not there to give glory to the choir (by applause). The choir and all of us are there to give glory to God… through our participation at the holy Mass (which includes music). I feel so old, because I can remember a time when there was a profound sense of reverence before, during and after the Mass. And I’m only 48!

It’s interesting that you mention applause after the choir singing. That very topic was addressed in a pamphlet compiled by our local Bishop–who said it’s actually inappropriate to clap after the choir has sung…unless it is the end of mass. We are not there to be entertained…it’s not a play or movie we are attending.

But, I truly don’t notice all that much, unless I sit nearer the door entrance…which now we sit on the other side, and it seems to have subsided…for us, but probably not for others. If someone needs to use the restroom…or leave the mass for whatever reasons–that is none of anyone’s business. I just wish people would do it with some consideration of others. That’s all.

 

[whatevergirl]

Sounds like a church I attended once, last March, in Cary, North Carolina. There were folks in and out, sitting in the entrance area just talking during mass. After mass, a young teen even climbed over one of the pews to get out, because people weren’t exiting the pews fast enough for him!

 

[boppaid]

I am not sure what that has to do with people stopping to chat with people on their way back from the bathroom though? During mass. That is more what I’m saying…

Oh, that has nothing to do with people chatting. As I said, I agreed with everything in these posts EXCEPT people complaining about those using the bathroom or getting drinks. I agree those who chat during mass are disrespectful.

 

[boppaid]

I also wanted to add…about those who chat and the children are disruptive. I can’t stand it! However, I would hate to alienate them by saying something. I would rather have them there, even chatting, than not bringing their children to church. They may need God’s grace more than anyone!

 

[ChristianWAB]

The time for socializing is after mass; certainly not during. As for babies, I bring my baby every Sunday (…though, she just turned a year old last week, so perhaps she’s not a "baby" baby anymore).

It’s a challenge to keep her still, but I think it’s good for them to spend some time each week in the house of the Lord. After all, we baptized her before she was even two months old, so she (in my opinion) has every right to be there.