I have recently had my conscience perked by a 15 year old former “crack baby” whose step mother has reported profaning himself (I will not describe this vile behavior). He has been refused psychiatric treatment by the sole allowed local provider which is approved on the family health plan. The father and step mother are apparently left to be victimized by the young man’s uncontrolled behavior. People like this used to be institutionalized, but apparently this option is not available because this young man tried to rape another inmate.
Certainly I will be praying for the healing of this young man, but does anyone have any practical suggestions on how to proceed with the parenting of this young man?
Unfortunately a child with this level of early trauma needs professional help - specifically a therapist who specializes in child abuse victims who display symptoms of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) and other such disorders. Since he is already displaying sexually disruptive behavior he will have a harder time reaching a cure. The older children are caught in their own cycles and it’s harder for them to choose to want to heal.
Sadly, I understand the issue with the Health Insurance. I know what it’s like to watch a child become lost in psychosis because no one will help. Too often people spend so much time blaming the parents (whether they deserve it or not) that they never get around to helping the child. Sometimes they will even cause more harm to the child just to “get even” with the parents.
One things the parents might try is reading Help for the Hopeless Child by Federici, it will give an overview of different issues facing trouble youths and some methods for helping them. As for funding, they can try going to Social Services to see what funding is available for families in need of assistance. In Virginia there is something called FAPT (Family Assessment planning team) that will assess the individual needs of the family and approve funding to meet those needs.
If all else fails they can threaten to release custody of the kid to the state. CPS doesn’t want the kid (as you’ve already mentioned) so they may provide services to “keep the family united”
Of course this will also get them on CPS’s hit list and they will probably be investigated for child abuse a dozen or so times - but if he gets the help he needs it may be worth it
One thing you can do is support the family with prayers and encouragement. Dealing with a traumatized child is a very isolating action and parents will often suffer a great deal. People don’t like the idea that an “innocent” child may be causing chaos in the family and will often attack the parents. Be supportive and don’t ever contradict their authority in front of the child. If you see something that you think is harsh or unusual, ask them about it afterwards or out of hearing - often these children make a punishment look worse than it is to gain sympathy from outsiders and undermine their parent’s authority.
Above all pray - for that is what this youngster needs the most. I’ll include him in my prayers as well.
