Tried to Get my Protestant-y Mother to Attend a Latin Mass

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To give some background, my father is Catholic and my mother grew up Methodist, but exhibits beliefs more equatable to a new-ager. They are divorced and as I am not of legal age, I still live with my parents, swapping back and forth each Wednesday. I have been in the tradition of attending Catholic mass while I am with my father, and I am in RCIA. We recently ‘upgraded’ to attending Traditional Latin mass. I got a lot more out of the Tridentine Mass than the Novus Ordo, and felt a strong sense of piece and meditation after attending.

Anyway, I asked my mother to attend the Tridentine Mass while I was with her, and she immediately started arguing with me about how there is no ‘right’ religion, how Catholicism is all about money, how being spiritual is more important than being religious, and how I was ‘looking down on her’ for her not wanting to go. A few days later (Saturday), she said that she would try it out of curiosity, and actually was quite nice about it.

Come Sunday afternoon, I was ready to get going and she came to tell me that we were not going, and she claimed that I was not giving her a say in anything, even though she specifically stated that she was willing to go multiple times the day before, and I only asked her if she wanted to try it.

Apparently she was joking with her (lapsed Methodist) father about me wanting to attend a Latin Mass the next day; even though I’d bet that neither of them understand the concept of the Gospel being read in English, or a Missal for that matter. She also claimed that I merely wanted her to ‘take me’ to the Latin Mass, not wanting her to get any enjoyment out of it; which I should add that I have been (at least trying) to get my mother to give Catholicism a fair shot. And even if I only wanted her to ‘take me’ to the Latin Mass, I fail to see how her taking an hour out of her Sunday to do something so meaningful for me was so much to ask, especially considering that my mother is a semi-lapsed alcoholic and we have a strained relationship.

Sorry if this seems like gossip or a nonsensical rant, but I can’t tell in this situation whether I should let it go and just ask if me/my Dad can attend Mass on the weekends while I am with my mother, or if I should try to talk to my mother sensibly about Catholicism.

Thank you in advance for any advice!
 
Pray the litany of humility. Respect and obey your parents.
 
Your heart seems in the right place as far as wanting to attend Mass and wanting to expose your Mom to it. But for now, you still must honor her in obedience. Ask her if she’d be willing to allow you to go to Mass on Sunday, even on “her” weekends. If she says no, don’t argue. Just show her your faith through your love and, pray for the grace to grow in your own faith despite the obstacles you face.
 
Pray the litany of humility. Respect and obey your parents.
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Your heart seems in the right place as far as wanting to attend Mass and wanting to expose your Mom to it. But for now, you still must honor her in obedience. Ask her if she’d be willing to allow you to go to Mass on Sunday, even on “her” weekends. If she says no, don’t argue. Just show her your faith through your love and, pray for the grace to grow in your own faith despite the obstacles you face.
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I agree with both of you, upon reflecting and re-reading my original thread, it seems that I got too caught up in being ‘right’ over upholding the 10 commandments, and respecting the authority of my mother. I will continue to pursue Catholicism, but I agree that I must go about it respectfully and in obedience with the Catechism and my parents, otherwise I am not truly a Catholic… or even a good person for that matter.

I prayed the Litany of Humility twice, and I will be sure to direct myself towards exhibiting humility more often.

Thank you both for your responses and God Bless!
 
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Regarding the Litany of Humility, there was once a time (college years) when I prayed that every day for probably a year or two. I probably still should, but I pray other prayers these days. Anyway, I remember it truly helped me grow when I was figuring out all this faith “stuff”. Great prayer!
 
Why don’t you take her to Mass in the Ordinary Form? Wouldn’t it be better for her to see similarities between Catholicism and Protestantism rather than the extreme differences? Besides, she won’t understand anything in the Latin Mass–it will seem like something very strange and possibly even pagan to her.

My husband and I are converts to Catholicism (2004), and I am fairly certain that we would never have returned to the Catholic Church if our first Mass had been the Latin Mass. On the other hand, when we first started attending the Catholic Church down the street from our house and heard lots of Bible readings, hymns and prayers that we could understand, and saw people greeting each other with the very Biblical Sign of Peace–we felt at home, although everything still seemed very very strange to us.
Don’t believe it when Catholics say that the OF Mass is “so Protestant”–it isn’t, although it is more similar to the Methodist worship service than it is to the Evangelical Protestant worship service and your mother will probably be amazed at how similar it is to what she is used to.

For Protestants, understanding is extremely important–that’s why many of them are constantly enrolling in Bible studies and doing Bible studies on their own, and also attending conferences, taking notes during sermons, reading books, etc.
 
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Why don’t you take her to Mass in the Ordinary Form? Wouldn’t it be better for her to see similarities between Catholicism and Protestantism rather than the extreme differences? Besides, she won’t understand anything in the Latin Mass–it will seem like something very strange and possibly even pagan to her.
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I have thought about that too, as the Novus Ordo is rather comparable to an Episcopalian Mass, or even a traditional Methodist service in some ways, as you said. I actually almost got my mother to attend an RCIA meeting with me, but some stuff came up at the time when we were supposed to go, through no fault of her own.

Probably a matter of me biting off more than I can chew. I can imagine that if I was a Catholic and my mother was converting me to a Protestant denomination, taking me to a contemporary Evangelical service would probably turn me away from the whole ‘branch’ of Christianity.
 
Might she be amenable to seeing a Traditional Mass on line with you alongside her? There would be plenty to think and talk about together. This is footage of a very beautiful Solemn High Mass with a very good homily also. It might just be enough to help her take the plunge and experience one in the flesh!

 
Cecilia_Dympna said:
It’s not an upgrade.
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Sorry, I didn’t mean upgrade in the literal sense, that’s why I put it in quotations. I have heard some people describe the Tridentine as the extraordinary version, but I was not by any means trying to imply that it is theologically superior.
Cecilia_Dympna said:
And I have to be honest, you sound quite disrespectful of your mother.
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As I said to ‘TheLittleLady’ and ‘ahs,’ I realized after posting this that this thread was inappropriate and disrespectful.

I will admit that I was not antagonistic about attending the Tridentine, and I reaffirmed to her that I respect she may have different beliefs from me. I think that I became disrespectful towards her in the end because I felt as if she had lied to me, was trying to be antagonistic towards me, and was making fun of me with her colleagues the next day. Keep in mind that my mother is also a recovering alcoholic, and I spent a decent chunk of my early-mid childhood being neglected by her, and having my life endangered by her on multiple occasions. I think that’s something that influences some of my interactions with her, as I have a hard time forgiving her for all of that; although I know that I must.

I’m by no means trying to defend the act of dishonoring my parent, that is something that was morally reprehensible on my part. However, it can seem at times that this translates into me receiving no recognition for all of the harm my mother has caused me and my sibling, which is why I believe that sometimes I lose a grip of civility.
 
csmith0404 said:
extraordinary version, but I was not by any means trying to imply that it is theologically superior.
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The official titles are

Ordinary Version – this means it is the most often celebrated Mass

The Extraordinary Version – this form of the Mass is celebrated less often

Those terms do not refer to quality or importance of the Mass.
csmith0404 said:
Keep in mind that my mother is also a recovering alcoholic, and I spent a decent chunk of my early-mid childhood being neglected by her, and having my life endangered by her on multiple occasions. I think that’s something that influences some of my interactions with her, as I have a hard time forgiving her for all of that; although I know that I must.
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Talk to your parents about getting involved in AlaTeen. It is part of AlaNon, for the families of those in recovery. A very good program.
 
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