Trouble with public school

[whatevergirl]

i did speak up and told one of the mom’s to “watch thier mouths” and she responded " are you talking to me you little b****?" so i grabbed my girls hands and went straight to my car now i have only made things worse another mother walked next to my car as i was getting my girls out of our car to walk to the bus and she yelled to another mom"did you just call me a douche bag" my daughter’s have now heard s****, b****, F***,A**. douche bad all at my 5 year olds bus stop. i have found speaking up when you are surrounded by a clicky bus stop did not work now i am for sure the outcast!

sorry this is delbra i was under my friends name who is here with me…SORRY!!

I might consider moving. Seriously. This is not a clicky bus stop…this is a scary bus stop. I would really consider moving, if possible. I mean what’s next…one of the mom’s to blurt out…‘you wanna piece a me?!’ Yikes, this sounds crazy! Really, that is my advice to you–look for a part of town where people for the most part, are civilized. I’m so sorry you went through this!!

 

[jrabs]

I might consider moving. Seriously. This is not a clicky bus stop…this is a scary bus stop. I would really consider moving, if possible.

 

[whatevergirl]

I mean, really! I would be scared out of my mind to have to go back to that insane bus-stop. Holy cow.

 

[gelsbern]

I hope you really didn’t say “watch your mouths”. Even I would take umbrage to that. Telling me to watch my mouth, is something reserves to my mother as for other adults, If I happen to be speaking in a way that offends others, I hope they take the time to be reasonable about it.

“Excuse me, I have young children here at the bus stop, and even though I know that you can speak however you wish, I would like to ask if you could show some restraint in the language you are using. I don’t want to be a bother, I just want to protect the innocence of my kids for a few more years. Thank you”

 

[monicatholic]

how about drive a few blocks to the next bus stop.

 

[Em_in_FL]

I hope you really didn’t say “watch your mouths”. Even I would take umbrage to that. Telling me to watch my mouth, is something reserves to my mother as for other adults, If I happen to be speaking in a way that offends others, I hope they take the time to be reasonable about it.

“Excuse me, I have young children here at the bus stop, and even though I know that you can speak however you wish, I would like to ask if you could show some restraint in the language you are using. I don’t want to be a bother, I just want to protect the innocence of my kids for a few more years. Thank you”

Very good point!
There are several ways of saying the same thing… you can ask nicely or say it in a demeaning way… one way gets the point across, the other way can turn the listener off.

 

[iluvmybabies]

I hope you really didn’t say “watch your mouths”. Even I would take umbrage to that. Telling me to watch my mouth, is something reserves to my mother as for other adults, If I happen to be speaking in a way that offends others, I hope they take the time to be reasonable about it.

“Excuse me, I have young children here at the bus stop, and even though I know that you can speak however you wish, I would like to ask if you could show some restraint in the language you are using. I don’t want to be a bother, I just want to protect the innocence of my kids for a few more years. Thank you”

Usually that would be the wisest thing to do you know, just be like I am sorry but do you mind just you know restraining a bit on the language, my children don’t really hear that at home it would be greatly appreciated or something like that usually adults will look at me and be like OH OK I am sorry…sometimes it works other times they just look at me and walk away…

 

[iluvmybabies]

how about drive a few blocks to the next bus stop.

Yes a very helpful and wise decision as well…

 

[iluvmybabies]

Also instead of being really early at the bus stop why not wait till the last minute and rush your children in, they might not have to hear much of the bad mouthing going around… I used to do that with mine when I first moved here, we lived in a not so good neighborhood and I would wait till all the mothers would go back in their cars or at least walk towards their cars, park right behind the bus and run my kids out there…not much was heard that way…

 

[whatevergirl]

how about drive a few blocks to the next bus stop.

Often times, the school chooses your children’s bus routes…as we offered to drive our daughter to a bus stop, but because our home is located within ‘x’ miles from the school, we are not privvy to the bus of the school. Not sure if that would be the case here, but if the school picks the route, then the school would need to be notified of the change of the bus, because ultimately the bus driver is responsible for the kids on that bus. It would be worth looking into, but if that doesn’t work…moving would be the next best option. That reaction that the one mother has is beyond the norm…it’s extremely low class and bizarre at the least, and scary at the worst.

 

[monicatholic]

i’d purchase for all of us MP3 players before i’d move.

or i’d ask the school for permission to have my kids picked up at the next stop on the bus route. or, yes, by another bus.

or homeschool. even that seems like shooting mosquitoes with cannons unless i was already leaning toward homeschooling or unless there are a hundred other bad things happening in my kid’s school day.

 

[whatevergirl]

i’d purchase for all of us MP3 players before i’d move.

or i’d ask the school for permission to have my kids picked up at the next stop on the bus route. or, yes, by another bus.

or homeschool. even that seems like shooting mosquitoes with cannons unless i was already leaning toward homeschooling or unless there are a hundred other bad things happening in my kid’s school day.

**the ipod idea is great.
yes moving is extreme…but so are these women! I guess if this is the only spot where one has to ‘fear,’ and the rest of the area is ok…then moving might be premature.

Prayers going out to you delba…I pray that the women soften their hearts and treat you and others kinder, very soon.**

 

[Brenda_V]

I was going to suggest homeschooling . It is certainly an option and can take your child out of that environment.

Brenda V.

 

[yellowbird]

I was going to suggest homeschooling . It is certainly an option and can take your child out of that environment.

Brenda V.

Yep, my vote goes to homeschooling too. That is assuming that your public school is in a really trashy area where it’s common for mothers to not only cuss in front of small children, but call other mothers the B word when they ask them to knock it off. Oh, and the mother that said “douche bag” in front of your child. How lovely - what class.

Sooooooo… since most kids are products of their environment, if the majority of the classmates came from these sorts of homes, I’d yank my child out TODAY.

But I would NOT send him to a Lutheran School. School is fairly short portion of his life. Catholic is forever.

 

[Brenda_V]

Yep, my vote goes to homeschooling too. That is assuming that your public school is in a really trashy area where it’s common for mothers to not only cuss in front of small children, but call other mothers the B word when they ask them to knock it off. Oh, and the mother that said “douche bag” in front of your child. How lovely - what class.

Sooooooo… since most kids are products of their environment, if the majority of the classmates came from these sorts of homes, I’d yank my child out TODAY.

But I would NOT send him to a Lutheran School. School is fairly short portion of his life. Catholic is forever.

My reasoning exactly but I just didn’t go into it.

I agree 100% with this. The younger years are not so much a problem but some of what is taught in religion is seen as benign by most protestants because they sort of believe the same thing too but for a Catholic it is just subtle undermining of our faith.

Brenda V.

 

[kage_ar]

Agree with those above, Lutheran School is great for Lutheran Children. It is not a place for Catholic kids.

About the bus stop, here - most parents of younger kids wait in the car w/the kids until the bus pulls up. If you do not drive to the bus stop, stay a few feet away and talk to your kids, hang back from the “crowd”. Then, when the bus pulls up, put the kids on.

I’d also suggest trying to be friendly to the mom’s you have had trouble with. Remember, we are to be salt and light - so, bake some cookies or mini-muffins and next time you go to the bus stop say “we got off on the wrong foot - I am Jane, please, have a goodie”. Once you are kind and loving to them, they just may return the favor.

 

[whatevergirl]

delbra–do you work outside of the home? If not, homeschooling could really be a great option as others have suggested.

 

[shannyk]

how about drive a few blocks to the next bus stop.

Or just drive them to school? Maybe find another parent or two who can carpool with you?

Honestly, this is not a public school only problem.

Lutheran kids swear. Catholic kids swear. It’s seemingly the way kids talk these days…I don’t get it:shrug: I used to get smacked for saying shut up, and now that seems to be normal vernacular for everybody.

Trying to get free tuition is a bad example, and IMHO far worse than swearing. And, while they will hear swear words at public school, they will hear the Pope is the Antichrist at Lutheran school so…I’d choose swearing.

 

[Alix1912]

First of all as a Lutheran…I would strongly discourage you from joining our church just to get free daycare…as you would discourage the same action from me joining a Catholic Church just for free daycare. If you are going to join any church…do it only because you really believe what they are preaching.

Second…I am also shocked and appalled at these women’s behavior. I really hate it when women get angry at men for using derogatory language towards women, and then they turn around and use it towards each other. Seriously, it sounds like you need to wash their mouths out with an industrial size soap bar.

Couple ideas for the busstop for what they are worth…Call the school and see if you can join a carpool group…or as suggested above go to another bus stop, or you may have to make the decision to bite the bullet and drive your kids to school for their sake.

If the problem is with public school in general…you might ask the pastor of the Lutheran Church to allow you to plead your case to whoever is in charge of the school. Let them know what you can pay, and see if they could help you with a scholarship, or something like that, explain to them the reasons why you like their school so much and maybe they would be able to help you. We really are very nice people, and usually pretty understanding.

Side note…if your girls are attending a Lutheran school the above poster is correct that the last Sunday in October is usually Reformation Sunday. In order to not confuse your children, you might check with the school to see what they are doing in celebration and skip those activities. I personally love the Reformation Sunday service (Luther wrote some amazing hymns), but I would never ask my Catholic husband to come with me.

Good luck,
Alix

 

[delbra]

Your kids are going to hear these words no matter what.

Since these women are clearly gutter-minded individuals you will just hav to teach the lesson about bad words a little sooner than you may have wanted.

Just ignore them and go about your business. Drive the kids to school if you can, but if that’s not possible then you are going to have to toughen up at the bus stop.

Also, you state you cannot afford to drive the 5 yo to school, yet you have your 3 yos in a private pre-school. Maybe you could do something different with the 3 yos to ease up the family budget.

just an fyi my mother and father inlaw paid for the girls