Troubles with sexual impurity

[rcconvert2007]

I’m sorry if this gets to be a little long. I’ve been struggling with this for a long time and a little background is required.

I am a 22 year old female college student. I was born and raised protestant, but converted to Catholocism and was initiated into the Church on Easter of 2008. Before I was Catholic - and indeed from a very young age- I developed the habits of masturbation and watching pornography ( I was 11 and 14 when I developed these habits). However, I have never had a sexual relationship with anyone else.

After I entered the Church I was able to live chastely for about 7 months, when I fell back into this sin. Since then, I can’t seem to go more than a month or two (and often less) without caving to temptation. Yet, I feel as though there is no one that I can talk to because I am a girl. Behavior like this seems to be expected of adolescent boys, but taboo for young women. Going to confession with this sin is always particularly humilliating, as I rarely have the opportunity to go to confession with a priest that I do not know personally (living on a college campus with no means to travel elsewhere makes this difficult). Being a former protestant, I still find it difficult sometimes to tell a priest about my sins, especially this one.

I feel so disgusted and ashamed with myself because I feel unequal to controling these unwelcome desires.

So my questions are:

1. Are there any girls out there who have been in my situation? How did you handle it?
2. Do you have any advice about how I can confess stuff like this without bursting into tears or turning tomato red from embarassment, while aslo saying everything necessary for a valid confession? I don’t want to make a preist uncomfortable by giving too much detail, but I also want to make sure I’ve said enough. How specific do I need to be?
3. How can I get rid of this disgusting habit? I’ve tried pornography blockers. I’ve tried keeping holy images and items around and visable. I’ve tried attempting to remember to pray when temptation strikes. I’ve tried so many other things. Nothing seems to work. HELP!

I feel so desperate and alone and I am dreading going to confession tomorrow.

Please pray for me.

 

[HNA444]

Hi. I am so sorry about how you feel. I haven’t been in the same similar situation, but I do get nervous and ashamed of confessing my sins. It’s hard and I don;t like doing it, although it feels really nice after I have confessed everything. You should confess as if you are confessing straight to God, and not to the priest. It will probably help, and I am going to start doing that as well. As far as controlling your sexual trouble, I would try keeping busy with doing good things, like homework, reading, praying, going to church, working, exercising, or maybe even taking up a hobby or volunteering. Or, maybe just hanging out with a friend and talking. I hope some of these ideas will help.!!

 

[TraderTif]

I will pray for you. (And check your inbox; I sent you a PM for support.)

 

[baltobetsy]

It will be easier to conquer these sins with the graces you receive from a good confession, so be sure you don’t chicken out! I always ask the Holy Spirit and Mary to help with my confessions - I’m sure they would help you, too.

Even though it is embarrassing for you, it’s really OK to burst into tears or to turn beet red - the priest is accustomed to all kinds of reactions. If there is an opportunity to confess anonymously (behind a screen), it will be much easier for you. If not, maybe it would help to close your eyes.

You don’t need to be any more specific than you have been in your post. That’s quite enough information for the priest to go on. If he needs to know more, he’ll ask, but I bet he won’t need to.

Also remember that the worse the sin is, the happier the priest is to forgive you. I’ll say a prayer for you.

Betsy