P
Pianofish
Guest
I’m not sure how else to describe a struggle I’ve been dealing with, but here goes…
I returned to the Church a little over a year ago and have been diligent about learning what I can about the faith after feeling as if I had missed out on so much growing up, even as a cradle Catholic. The issue is I feel that my yearn to learn more and grow in the faith is superficial. Superficial because I say I love God and that I love Christ, but I struggle with really feeling and living that love. I’m afraid that I am trying to live the faith so that I can avoid hell instead of because God deserves all my love and more. I’m a very selfish person, so my natural inclination to pride seems to confirm for me that I do not love God out of true devotion but out of necessity to avoid the ultimate punishment.
I want to truly love God. I want to truly realize the sacrifice that was made for us. How do I cultivate my love for God? I go to mass. I pray regularly. I went to adoration at least once a week for quite some time, though I’ve recently moved and now need to find adoration at a new parish. Once I do, I’ll attend adoration regularly again. I read from the saints. I ask for help. I ask God to help me love Him more. I don’t know what more to do to make sure that I am trying to be holy for the right reasons.
Has anyone else on here experience this? Does anyone have any suggestions for me?
I returned to the Church a little over a year ago and have been diligent about learning what I can about the faith after feeling as if I had missed out on so much growing up, even as a cradle Catholic. The issue is I feel that my yearn to learn more and grow in the faith is superficial. Superficial because I say I love God and that I love Christ, but I struggle with really feeling and living that love. I’m afraid that I am trying to live the faith so that I can avoid hell instead of because God deserves all my love and more. I’m a very selfish person, so my natural inclination to pride seems to confirm for me that I do not love God out of true devotion but out of necessity to avoid the ultimate punishment.
I want to truly love God. I want to truly realize the sacrifice that was made for us. How do I cultivate my love for God? I go to mass. I pray regularly. I went to adoration at least once a week for quite some time, though I’ve recently moved and now need to find adoration at a new parish. Once I do, I’ll attend adoration regularly again. I read from the saints. I ask for help. I ask God to help me love Him more. I don’t know what more to do to make sure that I am trying to be holy for the right reasons.
Has anyone else on here experience this? Does anyone have any suggestions for me?