Truly Struggling

[skigirl1689]

When I was in college I lost 3 uncles and an aunt to cancer (I do have a large family, 17 siblings between my parents), and I prayed and prayed for them to survive. Alas, it was not God’s will. The last loss was 5 years ago.

A few weeks ago we learned my uncle has a very large (likely not cancerous) tumor that is effectively starving him to death. In 2 weeks he is having surgery, but he has a 50% of surviving the surgery. I find myself alternating between hope and despair. At times I am afraid to pray for the success of the surgery as I am afraid I’ll only be disappointed again. I don’t understand why our family has so much heartache, and it’s always involving the family members I am closest to.

I can’t seem to focus on anything else. It haunts my dreams; I worry about the future, if I’ll be able to maintain the same type of relationship with my aunt if my uncle does not make it (long story, we usually stay with them when we visit).

I don’t know what the right thing is to pray for or how to keep hope. My thoughts are so muddled.

 

[puzzledtoo]

A prayer I use isn’t specific at all.

 May (insert name) be filled with loving kindness. May (-----) be well. May (------) be peaceful and at ease. May (------) be happy. 

 If they don't survive the surgery, illness, or whatever the case may be I'm not disappointed as they most likely (in my view) will be happy, well, peaceful and at ease, and filled with loving kindness. The "Our father" works for me as well. I believe it is very helpful at all times of stress and strife.

 I read a post on caf stating that god doesn't get us out of anything, but will get through everything. 

 May you and yours find peace.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

When I was in college I lost 3 uncles and an aunt to cancer (I do have a large family, 17 siblings between my parents), and I prayed and prayed for them to survive. Alas, it was not God’s will. The last loss was 5 years ago.

A few weeks ago we learned my uncle has a very large (likely not cancerous) tumor that is effectively starving him to death. In 2 weeks he is having surgery, but he has a 50% of surviving the surgery. I find myself alternating between hope and despair. At times I am afraid to pray for the success of the surgery as I am afraid I’ll only be disappointed again. I don’t understand why our family has so much heartache, and it’s always involving the family members I am closest to.

I can’t seem to focus on anything else. It haunts my dreams; I worry about the future, if I’ll be able to maintain the same type of relationship with my aunt if my uncle does not make it (long story, we usually stay with them when we visit).

I don’t know what the right thing is to pray for or how to keep hope. My thoughts are so muddled.

Let go of your expectations.

Say your prayers with the intention that God’s will be done. And, despite whatever happens, that no one is led into despair. And, that you can stay strong enough to lead anyone who needs help.

Remember - it’s not about what happens to you, it’s about how you deal with it. And, yes I know…it’s easier said than done.

 

[Brassring]

When I was in college I lost 3 uncles and an aunt to cancer (I do have a large family, 17 siblings between my parents), and I prayed and prayed for them to survive. Alas, it was not God’s will. The last loss was 5 years ago.

A few weeks ago we learned my uncle has a very large (likely not cancerous) tumor that is effectively starving him to death. In 2 weeks he is having surgery, but he has a 50% of surviving the surgery. I find myself alternating between hope and despair. At times I am afraid to pray for the success of the surgery as I am afraid I’ll only be disappointed again. I don’t understand why our family has so much heartache, and it’s always involving the family members I am closest to.

I can’t seem to focus on anything else. It haunts my dreams; I worry about the future, if I’ll be able to maintain the same type of relationship with my aunt if my uncle does not make it (long story, we usually stay with them when we visit).

I don’t know what the right thing is to pray for or how to keep hope. My thoughts are so muddled.

Pray for your intentions, but above all pray that God’s will be done. We don’t know the mind and purpose of God, but if we can trust in His goodness and benevolence, we can truly believe that all things work together for the good of those that love Him.

 

[Bonnie]

Pray for your intentions, but above all pray that God’s will be done. We don’t know the mind and purpose of God, but if we can trust in His goodness and benevolence, we can truly believe that all things work together for the good of those that love Him.

I rarely pray for specific things, but I do pray for specific people. I just bring them to God in my prayers & what he does about it is his business. Nothing more I can do.

You’ve been blessed with a large family, so you will experience a lot of deaths. My family is small, but I’ve got only 2 aunts left out of 7, and only 1 uncle-by-marriage. My parents are also dead. That’s what happens.

I hope you are enjoying the company of the ones who are alive.

 

[Crusaderbear]

Praying that things work out in your Uncle’s best interest.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

The other posts about praying for God’s will to be done are spot on. It is fine to pray for someone to be cured and have a long life, because his family does not want to lose him. However, we must remember that we are all going to die, be it this year or ten years, or fifty years from now. Our lives on this Earth are as brief as the blink of an eye, in terms of eternity. Our thoughts must always be on the next life.

 

[skigirl1689]

Thank you all for your replies. I am beginning to accept God’s will may be to take him. Someone commented not having many family members left. I completely understand that, but all of my loved ones were relatively young, not yet 60, but not that it really matters in the grand scheme of things.

I think I understand that it is for us to pray for healing, if it it God’s will. That will always be hard to accept. I also think it is harder for me as I still live with my parents due to my disability, so I see how difficult it is on my parent who may lose another sibling. Of course, we all know it’s how life progresses, but it’s never expected when they’re still younger.

Thank you to all who offered prayers; they are much appreciated. The waiting is the hardest, knowing what may come, yet not knowing.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I suppose if we could imagine if God gave us the druthers that our will would be followed instead of His.

The scenario could be thus;

We heal the loved one and that loved one gets to stay here with us in this life.

If our will isn’t done, they would end up in Paradise with God and all the Saints, Angels and total experiencing joy. But we prevent that from happening to keep them here with us.

So, who’s will would you rather be done, your’s or God’s ?

Jim

 

[Bonnie]

If our will isn’t done, they would end up in Paradise with God and all the Saints, Angels and total experiencing joy. But we prevent that from happening to keep them here with us.

We were watching a documentary last night & someone explained about New Orleans jazz funerals. Sad music on the way to the cemetery, because a loved one is now gone; happy music on the way back because that person is now experiencing bliss with God & all the saints.

The day before I wrote my previous post my husband had a health emergency. It was bad enough that I thought he was dead. In that moment I knew how much I love him. Later, when he’d been stabilized in the ER, I told him that. We’ve had problems in our marriage, but if I can remember that moment of knowing how much I love him, I think the problems are going to fade away.

I’m glad I had the chance to tell him. Now I just have to have the same love & patience for his recovery. He’s a terrible patient.