Trust issue in an affair

[ana_luisa]

My husband was having an affair for about 5 years that I was anware of. I was never able to have children of my own. We thought my husband was the one witha problem but it turned out he had a baby. Now a have a wonderful little baby. But my question is. Is it wrong to forgiving my husband? And not truely forget? Is it possbile for my husband to become faithful once again?

 

[xxxBlackDogxxx]

We are *required *to forgive; however, it is *impossible *to forget. Now, whether you can trust him again…

Forgiving him of a past transgression **does not **mean being a fool now, but if he is indeed sorry for what he did and there is no reason to think he’ll do it again (no evidence, no suspicions), then you could trust him. People make mistakes (I know I have!), but that doesn’t mean they are destined to repeat them. Sometimes the only way we learn (especially the hard-headed male–believe me, I know, I am one) is by making stupid mistakes and hurting those we love.

You can’t forget about what happened and you’ll have to decide whether he is sincere. Pray about it, God knows your husband’s heart. Do what you have the power to do (forgive) and let God do what he has the power to do.

Forgiving him will give you peace of soul.

Giving him an honest *opportunity *to stay faithful would be a great thing (isn’t that what God does with us?). You don’t need to play a fool to do that.

God bless you. Hang in there!

 

[yellowbird]

If it were my husband and he was truly sorry, I would forgive.

But I wouldn’t let my guard down again. I’d watch for signs he was at it again. Five years is a long time…

 

[faithandhope]

We are *required *to forgive; however, it is *impossible *to forget. Now, whether you can trust him again…

Forgiving him of a past transgression **does not **mean being a fool now, but if he is indeed sorry for what he did and there is no reason to think he’ll do it again (no evidence, no suspicions), then you could trust him. People make mistakes (I know I have!), but that doesn’t mean they are destined to repeat them. Sometimes the only way we learn (especially the hard-headed male–believe me, I know, I am one) is by making stupid mistakes and hurting those we love.

You can’t forget about what happened and you’ll have to decide whether he is sincere. Pray about it, God knows your husband’s heart. Do what you have the power to do (forgive) and let God do what he has the power to do.

Forgiving him will give you peace of soul.

Giving him an honest *opportunity *to stay faithful would be a great thing (isn’t that what God does with us?). You don’t need to play a fool to do that.

God bless you. Hang in there!

I don’t know if we are required to forgive, but we can only try. It’s the hardest thing anyone can do. Some people forgive faster than other’s. I’ve been the one to forgive very easily and forget alot of things. But for some reason I’m having a big problem forgiving my husband for his infidelity. It’s been 8 months and still I haven’t been able to forgive. Forgetting is another story,. as you said that will never happen. It will be there in your mind for the rest of your life. I’ve heard that forgiving is a gift you give to yourself.
I’m giving my husband an opportunity to be honest and stay faithful.
I’m so sorry you’re going thru this. I’ll be praying for you and your husband. I hope he truly repents and ask for God’s forgiveness.

If you need to vent, you can PM me. There’s alot of people here that will be willing to help you and pray with you.

God bless,

 

[faithandhope]

I don’t know if we are required to forgive, but we can only try. It’s the hardest thing anyone can do. Some people forgive faster than other’s. I’ve been the one to forgive very easily and forget alot of things. But for some reason I’m having a big problem forgiving my husband for his infidelity. It’s been 8 months and still I haven’t been able to forgive. Forgetting is another story,. as you said that will never happen. It will be there in your mind for the rest of your life. I’ve heard that forgiving is a gift you give to yourself.
I’m giving my husband an opportunity to be honest and stay faithful.
I’m so sorry you’re going thru this. I’ll be praying for you and your husband. I hope he truly repents and ask for God’s forgiveness.
I’m glad that you were able to forgive… truly a gift to yourself!!!

If you need to vent, you can PM me. There’s alot of people here that will be willing to help you and pray with you.

God bless,

 

[MarieCB]

My husband was having an affair for about 5 years that I was anware of. I was never able to have children of my own. We thought my husband was the one witha problem but it turned out he had a baby. Now a have a wonderful little baby. But my question is. Is it wrong to forgiving my husband? And not truely forget? Is it possbile for my husband to become faithful once again?

Five years of constantly - and consciously - lying to you? I have a low tolerance for lies, after being married to a cheater for years. It’s not simply the sex with someone else, it’s the daily, constant, lying, and the thinking that his selfish need to get something on the side justifies looking his wife in the face and lying over and over. I can’t think of any way that cheating can ever not be pre-meditated. Seriously, things don’t “just happen”. And when it goes on for years?

There’s a whole mindset involved in cheating, as far as I can tell, and I don’t believe that cheaters (usually? ever?) change.

 

[ana_luisa]

Thank you soo much for answearing me. Thank sweet Jesus! because yes I have peace in my heart It is just hard becuase why didn’t God let me give my husband a baby. Why did some else give him one. But I have to trust in him only he knows. Right?

But please keep us in your prayers. And I am sorry for just going on and on.

Love you guys.

 

[ana_luisa]

We are *required *to forgive; however, it is *impossible *to forget. Now, whether you can trust him again…

Forgiving him of a past transgression **does not **mean being a fool now, but if he is indeed sorry for what he did and there is no reason to think he’ll do it again (no evidence, no suspicions), then you could trust him. People make mistakes (I know I have!), but that doesn’t mean they are destined to repeat them. Sometimes the only way we learn (especially the hard-headed male–believe me, I know, I am one) is by making stupid mistakes and hurting those we love.

You can’t forget about what happened and you’ll have to decide whether he is sincere. Pray about it, God knows your husband’s heart. Do what you have the power to do (forgive) and let God do what he has the power to do.

Forgiving him will give you peace of soul.

Giving him an honest *opportunity *to stay faithful would be a great thing (isn’t that what God does with us?). You don’t need to play a fool to do that.

God bless you. Hang in there!

Thank you for giving a mans side. It really helps. Thank you.

 

[MarieCB]

It is just hard becuase why didn’t God let me give my husband a baby. Why did some else give him one.

Those are really two separate issues. If you’re anything like me, you’re wondering what you did to “make” your husband cheat on you. And the answer is - nothing. He chose to do it all on his own, regardless of what excuse he gives you.

 

[GraceDK]

My husband was having an affair for about 5 years that I was anware of. I was never able to have children of my own. We thought my husband was the one witha problem but it turned out he had a baby. Now a have a wonderful little baby. But my question is. Is it wrong to forgiving my husband? And not truely forget? Is it possbile for my husband to become faithful once again?

Five years is a long time to be cheating. A person who is contrite normally would seek to stop the sin within a short time because of feeling bad about himself, shame, and guilt towards his wife. How come you accepted such treatment for such a long time is what I ask myself?
To be honest I dont think I could live on with someone who cheated for 5 long years. You have forgiven, and I think that’s big of you. No body can demand that you forget, nor that you should.

 

[baylee]

My husband was having an affair for about 5 years that I was anware of. I was never able to have children of my own. We thought my husband was the one witha problem but it turned out he had a baby. Now a have a wonderful little baby. But my question is. Is it wrong to forgiving my husband? And not truely forget? Is it possbile for my husband to become faithful once again?

Oh Ana…this situation is just devastating I’m sure…your fertility issues and now a cheating husband who fathers a child on top of that. Can you provide more information with respect to what your husband has said to you, etc (only if you are comfortable doing so of course)? What bothers me is that it appears the only reason why this is out in the open now is because of the baby. Is he sorry because he was caught or is he truly sorry?