Trust vs. Practicality: Should We Have a Phone Bill Contract?

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Ukelala91

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Hi everyone! Not exactly a Catholic question here, but as I am a devout Catholic, mine and my boyfriend’s faith plays a big part in our decisions.

In light of my boyfriend’s phone being destroyed recently, we finally decided that the most cost-effective way to resolve the issue was for him to join my family plan with a special promotion my phone carrier was doing. This will save us a pretty significant chunk of change each, since we now “share” the data.

I love and trust my boyfriend: let me make that very clear. We hope to soon be engaged. We haven’t agreed yet on the details of paying for the plan (should he use Venmo to send me money every month, or should I give him access to my account so he can pay his share himself) but there is one bone of contention between us: I want a contract.

My boyfriend is upset that I would want to put in writing and sign together a contract that says that we will both pay our share and stipulating what that share is. If, God forbid, something happened to our relationship, the contract would hold us both (and mostly him, since the plan is in my name) responsible for the bill. He sees this as a lack of faith in the relationship, especially since he says he has a (secret) proposal plan in place. Because we both believe we will marry, he doesn’t see why such a contract would be necessary.

I see it as a safety net in case of an unpredictable event: we aren’t married YET, and although I trust him, I’m not foolish enough to say that it is IMPOSSIBLE for us to break up at this point. Anything is possible. I really don’t see that happening, but why put myself in a situation where I have to foot a huge bill?

Is this wrong of me? Thanks!
 
Honestly, there’s no reason to have a phone contract at this point in history, period. Nothing to do with your relationship. There is Metro PCS, Virgin Mobile and many others who offer low-cost cell service. For instance, you can bring your own phone to TracPhone and pay $125 for an entire YEAR of service including voice, texting, and data.

You are being prudent when it comes to signing a contract with someone you are not married to, but the entire principle of a phone contract is rather stupid because cell contracts are highly overrated marketing schemes.
 
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Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
Honestly, there’s no reason to have a phone contract at this point in history, period. Nothing to do with your relationship. There is Metro PCS, Virgin Mobile and many others who offer low-cost cell service. For instance, you can bring your own phone to TracPhone and pay $125 for an entire YEAR of service including voice, texting, and data.

You are being prudent when it comes to signing a contract, but the entire principle is rather stupid because cell contracts are highly overrated marketing schemes.
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I think she means a contract between the two of them. Not a contract with the provider.

In any case, OP, I would take his hesitancy to sign a contract as a greater sign of distrust than your request for one.
 
Ukelala91 said:
My boyfriend is upset that I would want to put in writing and sign together a contract that says that we will both pay our share and stipulating what that share is. If, God forbid, something happened to our relationship, the contract would hold us both (and mostly him, since the plan is in my name) responsible for the bill.
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I’m not a lawyer but i don’t know that some “contract” you type up on your computer and sign really has any legal standing if things went south. The real legal document is the agreement with the phone carrier that is in your name. Also consider if it is worth it to take legal action against him pursuant to this “contract” . if the phone company sees you as the “owner” of the phone line then it may be easier and cheaper for you to cancel that line and pay some cancellation fee then gong to court.

I think you stepped in it here and should drop the issue, just my two cents.
 
1neophyte said:
I think she means a contract between the two of them. Not a contract with the provider.

In any case, OP, I would take his hesitancy to sign a contract as a greater sign of distrust than your request for one.
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I was referring to the contract between them…but the contract betwen them is very stupid because signing a phone contract is incredibly poor finanical planning. I will edit.
 
Fair point. He kind of sees it as a “prenup;” in other words, he doesn’t understand why I want to essentially prepare for our break up when there is no evidence or feeling between us of needing to break up.
 
Your boyfriend is hurt that you don’t trust him over something so small as a phone. You can easily remove him if you break up.

I could see a contract of some kind if you were making a major purchase together, a car, a home, land, a joint business venture.

This is a monthly phone service you can cancel or freeze his account at the drop of a hat.

I think your boyfriend’s feelings are hurt, and mine would be too. Perhaps examine where this is coming from. Why the sudden need for a written contract between you over something so minor? Why do you feel the need to have this?
 
Ukelala91 said:
I’m not foolish enough to say that it is IMPOSSIBLE for us to break up at this point. Anything is possible
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There is a huge difference between possible and probable. And circumstances these two things are being applied to (a phone bill in your case) also should be considered in a decision.

I think you have made a wrong decision in proposing something so “self-interested” at the start of a relationship that is supposed to be giving.
 
If you have been discussing marriage with your boyfriend, I can see why he would be hurt. I think it would be different if you hadn’t been dating that long. While I agree that talking about getting married isn’t the same as actually being engaged, if you’ve both indicated that you want to marry one another I don’t really understand what the problem would be with adding him to your plan. You aren’t living together or purchasing a car; it’s a monthly fee that can be easily cancelled should you decide to part ways.

Is there a particular reason that you don’t trust him to pay you what he owes, if it came to that? If you see him as the kind of person who would not hold up his end of the bargain, that seems concerning.
 
I agree with 1neophyte.

Until there’s a marriage contract, you should have contract to protect yourself.
 
I think wanting a contract is never a bad idea, even if I think in this case, completely separated contracts are the best way to go.
But there is something serious about this issue between you, in my eyes. You plan in your mind a marriage with him, until this becomes reality, you both should think about what a contract in general means to you. I am always alarmed when I hear things as “he ist sad/angry with me because he thinks I don´t trust him enough” - marriage or relationships in general are not purely romantic fantasies. I know this point of view from germany, where marriage contracts aren´t usual for under or middle class people, but I made a contract for a dog my fiancé an me buyed, for example.
 
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Guessing that you went with a contract so he could get a “free” phone.

You realize that the cost of that phone is rolled into the contract pricing, right?

If something happened, sure you can cut him off the minutes//data however you will still be paying for the phone. The fancy schmancy phones start at around $500 and go up from there.

For some people, paying off the phone would be no big deal. For other people paying off someone else’s phone would be a big financial blow. Should the worst happen, it will be a black mark on her credit score.
 
There are two contract here.
  1. The contract between you and the phone carrier. Since you allude to some kind of deal in your first post. These deals often give you a “Free” phone and you offer to have a contract for up to two years. (Thereby paying for the “free” phone over that period)
  2. The contract between you and your boyfriend - should your relationship go south.
Now, others have pointed out that you do not need to have a phone contract anymore. But, if you use one of these alternate carriers, then you purchase your own phone upfront. At any time, you may cancel or amend your agreement - and drop the coverage on a given phone. So, you would only be out the amount for the current month for service that was already incurred. But, if you are in a two year contract, you must pay off the unpaid portion of the “free” phone.

I presume, since you are making this an issue, that the latter situation is yours. You are financing a relatively expensive phone with a two year contract. Any unpaid portion of that phone will be your responsibility if you cancel the contract.

But, no matter, your real question is not about the phone. Is it reasonable to ask your boyfriend to sign a contract that he will take responsibility for his own debt?

Well, if you have no written contract, you still have a verbal contract. What would you do if this relationship ended, and he lacked the responsibility to pay his debt? Would you sue him?

Even if you are talking about the new iPhone, that is about a $1000 phone. So we’re talking about small claims court. I’m not an attorney, but I believe, while a written contract would be nice, you have a verbal contract - and a small claims judge would likely find in your favor with or without it. (Of course, this might vary by where you live). It shouldn’t be too difficult to prove who was using the phone in question, since you could obtain a log of the phone calls, texts from that phone.

So, I think this is beyond just the immediate question of this phone. If you purchased a car together - would you get a contract? What about a pet? If it were real-estate, then you really should get it in writing, but - this is a Catholic site, and I would think that you are not going there.

So, while I agree with you that it’s not totally unreasonable for you to ask him to sign a contract, I can see from his side that it is a sign of mistrust. Even if you were to break up - do you think he wouldn’t have the moral integrity to uphold his obligation? And, since I don’t think it will matter much legally anyway - I wouldn’t press this issue.
 
It kinda is a sign of mistrust. If you don’t trust him over somehing this small how would you trust him in bigger things?

I just finished a phone contract and I have no plans to ever get back into one. There are many providers that offer the same thing on a monthly contract that you’re not tied into.
 
You talk about a way for him to send you the money. This raises a question, do you two know each other “in real life” or is this an online relationship?
 
I understand why you would want a contract. You’re not married yet. Expecting you to behave as if you are is unreasonable. It is easy to say “but we plan to get married”. That right now it is still just “maybe someday”. That is a long way from marriage. How I’d deal with it would depend on the circumstances.

If it simply involves a monthly extra fee for his use but doesn’t have an extended contract period with the provider, then go without. Worse case scenario you are up for one months use.

If it involves an extended 12 month or 24 month contract with a provider because he wants a new phone, don’t do it at all. That is essentially debt. It is foolish to take out debt on behalf of other people. If he can’t get a phone on his own, there is a reason for that.
 
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