Trusting After Betrayal

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TotusTuusForever

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I’ll start out by stating that I have struggled with Anxiety my whole life. This has caused me to have fewer friends than I would if I didn’t have this cross to bear. With this said I suppose you can imagine that the friends I do have I cherish very much.

From middle school until '15 I had a best friend who I felt as close as a sister to. However we were not of the same faith. I regularly found myself dodging her religious advances so to speak. She knew how devoutly I practiced my faith but still wanted to convert me. But asside from those moments everything was great! We loved to chat, bake, have shopping outings, go on adventures etc. we did everything together as sisters might. But then on the day before my birthday she picked an argument wth me. She said I didn’t try hard enough to be friends with her. I didn’t know she felt that way but I apologized profusely for hurting her but she ignored me. I was crushed. I haven’t heard from her in two years.

Another friend was another good friend, but because of anger issues I started to distance myself after two years of friendship. I had told her I was uncomfortable with her anger about a year in, but after that it just got worse. She started trying to embarrass me in public to humiliate me and would make realllly strange comments about my going to the church to pray so much even though she was catholic herself. I was getting scared. After she didn’t get the hint that I was distancing myself from her, I asked her to stop contacting me but that I will keep her in my prayers and that I wish her well. 7 months later after she found my contact info she sent a scathing email to be telling me off. It was really ugly. I never replied.

Then, my family turns against me when I got married because they dont like my husband and don’t like the idea of me growing up. (My family has mental health issues too). I have other post about this situation.

Now, all of these people were the ONLY ones on my inner circle and now they are all gone.

So, now that everyone I was close to has betrayed me in some way, how can I heal? It seem both daunting and impossible right now. Is it possible? I really trying to find hope right now. Are there good people to be friends with who don’t want to hurt you or disrespect you? I feel so small after losing everyone I cared about.
 
So, now that everyone I was close to has betrayed me in some way, how can I heal? It seem both daunting and impossible right now. Is it possible?
If you are not already under the care of a mental health professional, please seek one out. If you are, you need to talk to them about this.

Social interactions should be part of what you work through in therapy as you work on your anxiety. Those sorts of interactions and waning friendships are not uncommon among teens and young women. Your anxiety seems to be amplifying the issue. As a married woman you will make new friends both individually and as a couple.
 
I understand what you are saying. I have gotten help many times but the therapist/doctor doesn’t listen to me as a person but as a statistic. They don’t take me seriously. One Doctor suggested I do P90x for some exercise. I’m sorry but it was clear he was showing off instead of really wanting to help me. Another Dr. told be to have premarital sex. And I was once put on a waiting list for 5 months to get a therapist that was never given to me.

I posted her for some Catholic inspiration. I’m not asking anyone to be my therapist. I’m sorry if it came off that way.

People today like to put labels on everything. But anxiety is just a label for someone who has been through a lot in life and hasn’t had enough positive experiences to reassure them that they will be okay if they try new things. Honestly If I had positive experiences in the past I would be a different person today. I wasn’t blessed to be born into a function family which set me up to take mistreatment from others without batting an eye. And as a Catholic I always thought turning the other cheek meant letting yourself get walked on. But it’s okay, I’ll try to get therapy again. Maybe it will work this time… maybe.
 
I’m sorry you’ve had bad experiences with your doctors and therapists. I really would encourage you to try again and find someone who can and will help you to feel better.

I think you should try to take things slowly - I guess right now everything is overwhelming but it won’t always be. Try to take a step back and focus on yourself. Small things, like watching your favourite TV show, or eating your favourite meal. Look after yourself. Talk to your husband, tell him what you need from him. He cares about you, he loves you - you are not alone.
 
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