Trusting in God again

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GloriusMaximus

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Very recently something happened to me that completely shattered my trust and faith in God, and as a result I became very cold towards God and people in general. I have been Catholic all my life, but some recent events really changed things around a lot in my life and as a result made some very rash decisions in the confusion and anger.

I feel quite spiritually dry and I keep changing my mind as to trusting God, but I keep getting reminded of what happened to me when I did put my trust, I just feel scared the same thing may happen, how do I overcome this?

And please don’t just quote scripture, like I said I’ve been Catholic all my life, I’ve seen plenty of scripture on how powerful God is, and how trustworthy he is, but when nothing makes sense, trust just doesn’t come too easily when things don’t go right.
 
I’m sad that you have been through something traumatic enough to shake your faith in God and to harden your heart against people. There are many good and loving people, and I hope and pray you have some experience of that soon from people you encounter.

I’ve been through times when my faith has taken a broadside, and one can recover even though it seems unlikely. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Trust doesn’t always revive overnight.

What happened to you was clearly awful, and that deserves to be faced before you can heal. You are angry and hurt.

But your life isn’t all about this bad thing, you are more than this hurt.

I care that you are feeling this way,
and also I care and understand that you’re not feeling in some ways. I do know what I feels like to lose the sense of warmth and hope and feel everything is less meaningful.

I pray that the little seeds of your occasional hope and occasional trust will quietly begin to grow.

Trishie
 
Hello,

Though these words may be such little consolation, I’ve been right where you are…and sometimes I still think I am there. There are times when I’d like to give up, but what else is there? In her biography Infidel, Ayaan Hirsi Ali details her descent into atheism, and at one point she makes a trip to the local museum in order to closely examine the mummies. She writes: “I needed to see ruins and mummies and old dead people, to look at the reality of the bones and to absorb the realization that, when I die, I will become just a bunch of bones.” How depressing.

Just when I, too, want to lose all faith in the trustworthiness of God, I’m reminded that I’ve made it this far. Sure, I’ve had my share of financial crises (at such a young age too), heartbreak, anxiety, and the list goes on, but even if I never uttered another laugh or broke another smile in my lifetime, I only have to look at the Man of Sorrows hanging on his cross, and oftentimes he’ll point me to some tired, starved, pain-ridden cancer patient who is not only thankful for life but thankful for the cancer. I’ve made it this far witnessing life in all its upsets, pains, and joy. I can’t help but to hope.

This probably didn’t help much, but I will just pray that you are able to trust again. I’d hate to see you at some museum one day like Ms. Ali.
 
The trials of this life:

Suffering and disappointment;
things not just NOT going our way but indeed seeming to conspire against us;
pain, loss, hearing NO to an important prayer;

etc.

Archbishop Sheen addressed this in one of his books, referencing how the violin strings must feel when being tightened by a violinist. All of this pain and meaningless suffering - the strings do not know what beautiful music they will make after the ordeal.

Father Groeschel has written several books on suffering, so that might be a help.

Finally, the Rosary has helped me realize that Christ experienced all that we experience. It makes me realize that I am not alone.
 
Dear GloriusMaximus, I do believe I know where you are coming from. Although I have not been a Catholic all my life, I was brought up as one. When I decided to convert I really dove into the Religion, I can’t remember ever being happier, I was even talking to God on a regular basis. That is when something so terrible happened I try never to remember it. At first I blamed God and thought that this terrible thing happened because I was never supposed to become Catholic!?! But I realized something…that it wasn’t God doing this to me, it was the Devil trying to deter me from where I belong. I can’t quote scripture to you nor can I tell you how you are supposed to feel at this time. But what I can tell you is that in time things will become clear it may take time but I do believe God does prevail. So stay strong and patient.
May God bless you and keep you.

Amanda
 
If something goes terribly wrong there is a lesson in it for you. God loves you enough to teach you the hardest lessons.
 
GloriusMaximus said:
I feel quite spiritually dry and I keep changing my mind as to trusting God, but I keep getting reminded of what happened to me when I did put my trust, I just feel scared the same thing may happen, how do I overcome this?
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You want to trust Him; you just need help. We need all graces from Him; we can do nothing on our own.

Here’s what you can do, and He promises it will help: tonight, say the Divine Mercy Chaplet. You can read about the Divine Mercy devotion ewtn.com/devotionals/mercy/index.htm. Be honest with Jesus. Tell Him that you want to trust him, but that you need His grace to do it. Your appeal to His Mercy will never, never be in vain.

If you keep saying it, the graces that He will pour upon you will be astounding. His Mercy has helped me so much.
 
G l o r i o u s M a x i m u s. ❤️
i’m so sorry beyond words, GloriousMaximus, that you have suffered so much and gone through something so traumatic as to have experienced your trust and faith in God being completely shattered. if you’d like to tell us more about it, i know that we’d be more than happy to give you advice and support you through it—if you’d rather talk about it more privately, please know that i am always here, and will always care, so please don’t ever hesitate to contact me if you ever need anything at all or would just like to talk. if you’d rather not reveal what happened, i completely understand, and you definitely don’t have to.

i am so sorry, GloriousMaximus, that this event was so traumatic that it affected your relationships with God and with others. no matter what you have done, and no matter what mistakes you may have made in your confusion and anger, i have no doubt that God will forgive you, help you, heal you and restore you completely back to Himself in Love if you only return to Him. please know that i will be keeping you in my constant thoughts and deepest prayers, that you will find the strength, hope, trust and power to return to God in complete faith, and know that nothing will happen to you that is against His Will, and that even when we go through pain throughout our lives, He is always with us, and we are forever far from alone. He is forever the Healer and the Lover of our souls, and i know that He cries with us when we suffer, and rejoices with us when we are uplifted. please remember that even if an event is negative, if you trust in God to redeem it, only good can come out of it. Satan will want to twist the negative events in our lives and cause us to doubt and mistrust God, and drown in our own despair, but God only wants to strengthen us, purify us and bring us closer to Himself in Love.

GloriousMaximus, i am so sorry that you feel spiritually dry right now—my best advice to you would be to try to restore your relationship with God through prayer, Bible study/reading/meditation, Confession and the other Sacraments—especially the Eucharist—and Eucharistic Adoration, which is always such a healing and amazing experience for me. i will definitely pray for you, that you overcome this completely, and learn to place your trust and faith in God completely and forever. i can definitely relate to you because of the suffering i have recently endured and what i have gone through earlier in my life, but i am slowly learning how to place my trust and faith in God, and i will pray with all my heart that you are able to do the same. i suggest that in order to overcome your current experience of spiritual dryness, you actually pour out your heart to God and tell Him how you are feeling, whether through a prayer journal, meditation, etc., and listen for His response. i have no doubt that He will answer you in some way, even if His response is not immediate, and that He will bring you closer to His hope and healing in time. this is how i suggest you come closer to God through prayer. when it comes to Bible study/reading/meditation, i would suggest that you pick out those verses that especially encourage you and memorize them, so that instead of being torn down, you are constantly being uplifted and inspired, and have a weapon against the enemy when he attempts to discourage you. i suggest that you go to Confession as soon as possible so that you can receive its graces and start afresh in your relationship with God, and probably receive some excellent advice from the priest as well. receiving the Eucharist always brings me hope and healing, and it is such a refreshing, beautiful experience that i definitely suggest you enjoy to replenish and refresh your relationship with our loving God, Who loves you so much and wants so much to have a beautiful relationship of intimacy and love with you. finally, i suggest that you spend at least some time in Eucharistic Adoration, for Jesus has always brought me healing and hope whenever i have spent time with Him, and the more i get to know and experience Him, the more i love and trust Him. i hope and pray that all of these things will do for you what they have done for me over time. you might not see immediate results, but please don’t give up—please keep working, and please keep trying, and your faithful efforts will soon bear much fruit.

i definitely know from experience how hard it is to trust God when everything seems to be falling apart, and everything hurts so much. i have experienced this lately in my own life, actually, and am still in the slow process of complete healing. i can only tell you that the more you get to know God, the more you will realize how much He is to be trusted no matter what happens in our lives, and how His Love is behind even the most tragic and traumatic of our experiences. i will definitely pray for you with all my heart, GloriousMaximus, in the deep hope and prayer that God grants you healing from the traumatic event that affected you so deeply, and restores you completely and forever back to Himself in faith and love. in fact, let me pray for you now:
 
Loving Heavenly Father, i lift up GloriousMaximus to You now, in the deep hope and prayer that You would completely heal him of the traumatic event that affected him so deeply, and restore him completely and forever back to Yourself in Love. help him, Lord, to trust in You even through the dark times of his life, and to realize and experience that Your deep Love for him is behind even the most traumatic or tragic experiences in his life. help him to realize and experience how much, how passionately You love him, and only want him to return to You in faith and trust. i pray that You would grant him complete healing and restoration, and help him to trust, love and know You more each day, and in each experience throughout his journey Home to You. i pray that You would pour out Your great Love and blessings upon him, heal him of his spiritual dryness and bring him close to Yourself in intimacy and love. through all future events of his life, positive and negative, help him to trust in You, and to persevere in loving You, knowing You and remaning close to You, as i pray that You would draw him back to Yourself even now. i pray all this in the mighty, precious name of Jesus, Amen.

God bless you. 🙂

love,
in the peace and love of Christ,
alison ❤️
 
GloriusMaximus said:
And please don’t just quote scripture, like I said I’ve been Catholic all my life, I’ve seen plenty of scripture on how powerful God is, and how trustworthy he is, but when nothing makes sense, trust just doesn’t come too easily when things don’t go right.
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Others have responded, and I understood that you do not want to see any scripture posted. I’d like to emphasize that you will be surprised that in the future … the same verses in the Bible that you had read so many times in the past will bring you a new meaning that you could have never thought of.

My main point is — be opened to what Jesus said in the Bible - our understanding is not always the same if we allow the Holy Spirit to help us.

I am glad that you want to trust in Him. We all are struggling with this from time to time, but God will help us if we give Him a chance and surrender ourselves to Him.
 
Thanks a lot to all who responded, especially Alison for taking the time to write that lengthy post and prayer, it means a lot.

I am doing a lot better in terms of trust and faith than what it was 1 month ago I guess, things take time, but I guess everyone goes through this to a different degree throughout life. Will pray for others too.

God Bless
 
I have been through something like what you describe–an event so traumatic that I could only remember it as "the total triumph of evil. I stopped going to church, then stopped leaving my house except when necessary. I was 100 percent negative and did not want to be with people. This went on for three years. I knew I should stop feeling sorry for myself but I couldn’t move forward. I never stopped praying. I would just lie in bed and say “Jesus, help me.” When a person I loved died of a drug overdose I thought I would lose my mind. I forced myself to go to Mass. At that Mass I received healing (even though I did not go to Communion because I felt so estranged from God.) But when the others were receiving I suddenly felt a great rush of peace. This peace was indescribable and has never left me. I do not think that there is a formula for overcoming these dark nights of the soul. Just don’t stop praying. Also try devoting time to helping people who are worse off than you–people in shelters, nursing homes,etc Listening to other people “quote scripture” to you probably would not be beneficial, but reading scripture can certainly help us overcome depression and despair. Be patient with yourself. God heals everyone differently. I will certainly pray for you. The fact that you have posted this shows you are open to healing and haven’t shut the door in God’s face. He sees your great affliction and will cover you and protect you. He will open a new door for you. Don’t be afraid to be in a new place that He is leading you to.
 
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