Trusting your conscience

[Veronica97]

First, I will say that I sometimes struggle with scrupulosity. It had been getting better, but after I started doing the Novena to the Holy Spirit last week for Pentecost, my mind spiraled out of control again. I began to get blasphemous thoughts–cursing the Lord–and although they were unwanted, I feel like I may have consented because I kept going over and over the thoughts in my mind instead of simply dismissing them. It was almost like I was “trying it out” to test if I was the one starting the cursing or if it was OCD or maybe the devil. Then I began to wonder if I was harboring some sort of anger at God and really meant the thoughts (although I know if I meant them I wouldn’t have been so worried about them). So the day we were going to church, I debated all day about whether or not to go to Communion (I had just been to Confession the DAY BEFORE). Finally, I prayed the last day of the Novena, and said to God aloud, “I WILL serve.” After that, I suddenly felt a sense of peace and it continued all the way through Mass and I was only slightly nervous at Communion, but peaceful afterwards. But later that night, the worry started up again–I began to think I might have received the Eucharist unworthily. And now I am back to square one: thinking maybe I need to go to Confession again. My question is: in someone who has a “normal” conscience (neither lax nor scrupulous) is a sense of peace to be trusted? How about in the case of a scrupulous person? I am so fearful that I will condemn myself by not being a good judge of right or wrong or of whether I should go to Communion or not. I do go to confession regularly, usually with the same priest, although sometimes I will see someone else if it means I can get to confession more quickly. I’m also on medication for anxiety/depression. Sometimes I feel pretty good and go 3-5 weeks without an episode, but right now I feel deluged with thoughts and worries.

 

[Juliannarose]

I have serious difficulties with this to. When I am being scrupulous, I go to confession often (every day-3days), but when I am not being scrupulous, I fear that I don’t go often enough. I do not know what to do. I pray for discernment and I feel at peace, but I’m always fearing I could be wrong. I examine my conscious with some guideline and if I don’t see anything I did that is serious, I assume it is OK I receive Communion and I go ahead and receive. For the most part I am OK and I do not worry, but a small part of me is still concerned…

 

[Bill1940]

Veronica: It is almost impossible for a person enduring such a scrupulous dilemma to actually commit a sin. Offer it up and forget about it. The only way to overcome these things is to recognize that God loves you more than you love yourself and will never let you be lost to Him. He wants you to rely on your own prudence and have confidence to act contrary to mere anxiety. Go to Communion. Here is a website you will find helpful:
mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm
~Bill1940

 

[Bill1940]

I have serious difficulties with this to. When I am being scrupulous, I go to confession often (every day-3days), but when I am not being scrupulous, I fear that I don’t go often enough. I do not know what to do. I pray for discernment and I feel at peace, but I’m always fearing I could be wrong. I examine my conscious with some guideline and if I don’t see anything I did that is serious, I assume it is OK I receive Communion and I go ahead and receive. For the most part I am OK and I do not worry, but a small part of me is still concerned…

Juliannarose: You don’t have to strain your conscience through a sieve to find a mortal sin. It will be a huge rock that won’t even fit into the sieve. In other words, you would know it if you freely chose to do something that was seriously evil and with full knowledge that it was seriously evil. Here is a helpful link: mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm
With this and a regular confessor, you should nip this thing in the bud. Ask your confessor to help you and don’t go to confession more than he thinks wise.
~Bill1940

 

[Bookcat]

(Re-posting a general post on scruples)

Scruples or those who are even of a higher degree of scrupulosity take venial sin to be mortal…or non sins to be sins…or are plagued by doubts…unreasonable fears/anxieties about sins…seeing them or fearing them where they need not…etc etc

The french call it the doubting disease (though it is not a disease) for one has lot of problems knowing one knows…thus with “doubt” (or more often rather “apparent doubt”)

Of course there are degrees and it is possible for a person to have generally a delicate conscience or a normal conscience and still have a struggle with scruples in certain areas…or to have very* transient scruples* at the time of their conversion …

and a person may go from one to the other…

one combats scruples with a good regular confessor…

by forming ones conscience…(with such as the Catechism etc)

and with the confessors guidance acting against ones scruples…

possibly by general principles given often historically by confessors to deal with scruples

by prayer…

by trust and joy in living the Christian life…(not necessarily “emotional” by the way)

With the help of your confessor: Contra scruplos agendum est, et fixo operis pede certandum

(Act contrary to scruples and with a firm foot overcome them)

Overcoming ones scruples…ones fears with a “firm foot”. Learning to act against them under the guidance of your confessor. Dismiss them. Not argue with them. (for example the regular confessor says…“unless you are certain you have committed a mortal sin…go to communion”…and you feel the fear and the doubts and the worries at the time of communion “but perhaps I committed one…?” you tell yourself “I am not certain of any mortal sins and my confessor told me to go” and you act against your fears and go to Communion! or ones confessor says regarding old past sins “only confess old sins if you are certain it was a mortal sin and certain you have not confessed it…(such is often the advice for those who are scrupulous)” one does just that -and if one is mistaken here one it not on you for a it can be the case that those who are scrupulous are in a “different boat” that others.) etc

(in a way one needs be “scrupulous” about attending to ones scruples…)

When scruples arise --turn to God and let the pass by.

Scruples are to be treated like a barking dog or a hissing goose…one does not stop to argue with a barking dog or a hissing goose does one? (image borrowed from a 15th cent. Carthusian).

They are to be “despised”…“dismissed”…

And again a* regular confessor *is very important here…in even coming to know what ones scruples are…and then what to dismiss… It is he who can particularly guide a person with these difficulties.

 

[IrishRush]

I think your best bet is to just trust that God knows what’s in your heart.

 

[In_Training]

I think your best bet is to just trust that God knows what’s in your heart.

I vote this one.

I don’t have problems with anxiety/depression, but like you I do experience kind of a roller coaster with conscience. I have good weeks and bad weeks, and I guarantee you everyone does. I had a good week last week…this week I can’t stop thinking how hot the Kardashians are.

God help me.

 

[jdfeeley]

I’ve just started up a blog for the scrupulous/OCD/ and sexually addicted or formally sexually addicted. Its called wayofthecross.blogspot.com

feel free to submit your questions and comments.