Truth or dare?

[Gordon_Sims]

I was watching a movie last night where the characters played a truth or dare type game. Morally speaking, what would be the problem with that?

Back in college, my friends and I would play truth or dare and similar games. For better or worse, we were close enough and knew pretty much all each other’s secrets so–except for some of the more ridiculous dares–it never struck me as problematic. We honestly knew worse “secrets” about one another than typically came up in the games so it never struck us as a big deal. After a while it got to be old hat so we quit playing games like it. A few years later, at a party with a different crowd of people, a similar game was being played and one of my friends asked the sort of question we’d always ask when we were playing (and a relatively mild one at that). The whole crowd was offended, even though the stated point of the game was to ask that sort of question.

I’ve avoided games like it since (we’re talking like the last 20 or so years), but never really thought about it in moral terms until watching this movie. While something about the game feels wrong, Leaving the dare part out of it, I can’t really determine what the issue would be from a moral/sinful point of view. As long as everyone is playing by the rules, there’s no lying involved. There’s no defamation or anything of that nature since the person answering the question is the one offering up the information. There’s no gossip involved if the rules are heeded. I suppose it could be seen as scandalous depending on what was asked, but I’m not sure even that would be the case if the people involved are willing participants. Any ideas?

 

[coachdennis]

I was watching a movie last night where the characters played a truth or dare type game. Morally speaking, what would be the problem with that?

Back in college, my friends and I would play truth or dare and similar games. For better or worse, we were close enough and knew pretty much all each other’s secrets so–except for some of the more ridiculous dares–it never struck me as problematic. We honestly knew worse “secrets” about one another than typically came up in the games so it never struck us as a big deal. After a while it got to be old hat so we quit playing games like it. A few years later, at a party with a different crowd of people, a similar game was being played and one of my friends asked the sort of question we’d always ask when we were playing (and a relatively mild one at that). The whole crowd was offended, even though the stated point of the game was to ask that sort of question.

I’ve avoided games like it since (we’re talking like the last 20 or so years), but never really thought about it in moral terms until watching this movie. While something about the game feels wrong, Leaving the dare part out of it, I can’t really determine what the issue would be from a moral/sinful point of view. As long as everyone is playing by the rules, there’s no lying involved. There’s no defamation or anything of that nature since the person answering the question is the one offering up the information. There’s no gossip involved if the rules are heeded. I suppose it could be seen as scandalous depending on what was asked, but I’m not sure even that would be the case if the people involved are willing participants. Any ideas?

Personally, I have always found the game uncomfortable and usually do not participate. Of course, I hate party games, period. For me, the best parties are ones where the conversation flows naturally without gimmicks.

That being said, I can see where even though people are willing participants, individuals may have very different views of what is acceptable to ask. An innocent question to you may be a trigger to a quite embarrassing and private moment for another… and vice versa.

I have no idea if it falls into the arena of sin, but in terms of etiquette the first rule of good host/hostess is never put your guests in an awkward position.

 

[littlestsouls2]

It’s not intrinsically wrong; it depends on the nature of the questions/dares. One is always free to say “next” if they are immoral.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Every game of truth or dare I have ever played ended in sexual situations. Every single one…

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Every game of truth or dare I have ever played ended in sexual situations. Every single one…

That hasn’t been my experience, at least not with my core group of friends back in college. None of us were the sort who would try to force or coerce anyone into that sort of situation. There were times some of the questions leaned in that direction, but it was another area where there really weren’t any secrets among us so it was kind of pointless to ask questions along those lines, especially since a couple of us were extremely chaste (most boring answers ever). The only times we had problems was when someone brought a friend who wasn’t part of the core group, at which point we’d end the game. Most of our dares involved drinking or doing something dangerous or stupid. Self-preservation led us to drop the dare part and we ended up playing some board or card game that stuck with asking questions that were intended to be uncomfortable. Like I said, with that one group of friends none of us ever felt uncomfortable, but when I found myself in a similar situation with others, it suddenly didn’t feel right.

 

[vz71]

The intended outcome dictates the morality of this game.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

The intended outcome dictates the morality of this game.

Leaving out the dare portion and any immoral actions, from a sin point of view, what specifically would be wrong with the truth aspect?

I agree that there’s something not right about it, but for whatever reason I’m having a hard time verbalizing what that might be. I’m guessing it would mostly be along the lines of scandal since someone revealing potentially embarrassing information to strangers could be taken the wrong way. At the same time, I have a hard time determining why complete and unabashed honesty could be considered wrong.

 

[Viki63]

Some topics are none of anyone else’s business. They might arouse discomfort or even PTSD in some people. It seems like a silly game and best avoided.

.

 

[Trident_H]

Leaving out the dare portion and any immoral actions, from a sin point of view, what specifically would be wrong with the truth aspect?

I agree that there’s something not right about it, but for whatever reason I’m having a hard time verbalizing what that might be. I’m guessing it would mostly be along the lines of scandal since someone revealing potentially embarrassing information to strangers could be taken the wrong way. At the same time, I have a hard time determining why complete and unabashed honesty could be considered wrong.

Want to play it in this thread? I mean go grab your good pals. And I’ll start warming up on the questions.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Leaving out the dare portion and any immoral actions, from a sin point of view, what specifically would be wrong with the truth aspect?

I agree that there’s something not right about it, but for whatever reason I’m having a hard time verbalizing what that might be. I’m guessing it would mostly be along the lines of scandal since someone revealing potentially embarrassing information to strangers could be taken the wrong way. At the same time, I have a hard time determining why complete and unabashed honesty could be considered wrong.

Revealing titillating truths can be scandalous and just a bad idea in general. Truth or Dare is almost always sexual in nature, (cite Madonna’s movie of the same name.)

 

[peter26]

While both the dares and the truths revealed are often sexual, they do not have to be. I could imagine a Catholic playing this game with a bunch of non-believers using it as a good opportunity for evangelisation: “I dare you to come to Mass this Sunday!”

 

[Trident_H]

While both the dares and the truths revealed are often sexual, they do not have to be. I could imagine a Catholic playing this game with a bunch of non-believers using it as a good opportunity for evangelisation: “I dare you to come to Mass this Sunday!”

Ooh. Clever. Of course they’ll dare him to stay home.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

While both the dares and the truths revealed are often sexual, they do not have to be. I could imagine a Catholic playing this game with a bunch of non-believers using it as a good opportunity for evangelisation: “I dare you to come to Mass this Sunday!”

Right. That’s how all the kids play it these days…
We do the same with “spin the bottle” and “five minutes in heaven”. In fact 5 minutes in a dark closet provides two opposite sex kids a chance to have a great prayer!

 

[Trident_H]

Right. That’s how all the kids play it these days…
We do the same with “spin the bottle” and “five minutes in heaven”. In fact 5 minutes in a dark closet provides two opposite sex kids a chance to have a great prayer!

Wait. Don’t post another thing. Look at your post count. lol

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Want to play it in this thread? I mean go grab your good pals. And I’ll start warming up on the questions.

From a personal perspective, playing it doesn’t bother me. As long as my kids aren’t around or I’m sure the people I’m playing with won’t tell them about it, it’s not something that bothers me. Have I don’t horrible or embarrassing things? Sure. Does it bother me to tell people about them? Not at all. There are things I wouldn’t want my kids to know about, at least not until they’re older, but I’ve never done anything so horrible that knowledge of it should impact me personally or professionally now, and anything really embarrassing isn’t a big deal because I went through the actual embarrassment when it happened.

The biggest issue I see is how others look at it. I’ve been leaning all along toward this being an issue of scandal, and Hoosier Daddy seems to agree with that.

As for actually playing it, I think it’s been over 20 years since I’ve actually played any games along these lines. The incident where it was a problem I think was just under 20 years ago. I know there are games out there now that are similar in nature. Some of the people I know play them, so that added to my concern after seeing the game in the movie. Most of the people I know who play the current games are the sort who wouldn’t hesitate to use any information they gleaned about someone against them, so there’s no chance of me engaging in them.

 

[on_the_hill]

I’ve led an (un)charmed life. Never played truth or dare and don’t really have anything scandalous to reveal.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

I’ve led an (un)charmed life. Never played truth or dare and don’t really have anything scandalous to reveal.

That’s how me and my one friend were. Aside from drinking and general stupidity, we didn’t have any bad or scandalous skeletons in our closets. Unless you hadn’t heard our really stupid stories before, playing with us was really boring.

One good thing that came of it was that one friend convinced my wife to play something similar with us not too long after we started dating. She decided to change the rules and said her turn wasn’t over until I admitted to something bad. She couldn’t believe I hadn’t done this, that or the other, but my friend backed up everything I said. After a while she was content with my answers. She hadn’t uncovered anything sordid which put her mind more at ease about me (in other words, I wasn’t the sort of sleazy liar she’d come to expect of guys).