Trying to come back...pray for me?

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Denae

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Hey guys. I dunno if any of you remember me or not, I stopped posting in these forums a long time ago. I went through a lot of things (I’d rather not discuss them all right now) and I stopped going to Church. I stopped praying. I haven’t been to Church in over a year now. Well, I went to my cousin’s confirmation and that’s when I began to feel it…this longing. At first I thought it was just because I missed the people I used to hang out with…but that isn’t true. I began to feel so much pain whenever I even read anything about the Church and pretty much any prayer in Latin I ever came across, would set me off. (I read a book set in a monastary and I cried so much when I read it, even though the story wasn’t about the Church herself!) My heart is craving God. I know this now. I miss the Mass so much…the Eucharist…the prayers…the readings, even the hard wooden pews!! I miss it all and more. I miss the Rosary, praying on my own. Everything. I keep thinking about the parable about the Prodigal son in the Bible, and it fills me with so much comfort.

But I’m so scared of going back…I’m scared of facing God in confession. I’m scared to be so vulnerable to God again…I’m scared of facing these issues again, when I closed my heart off for so long.

So please…pray for me please? I want to go back so badly…first to Confession, then to Mass. Thanks for reading, and I’m sorry about the length.
 
Denae said:
But I’m so scared of going back…I’m scared of facing God in confession. I’m scared to be so vulnerable to God again…I’m scared of facing these issues again, when I closed my heart off for so long.
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The following is from St. Faustina’s Diary (I highly recommend reading it – you can find it in the link in my signature.):
“In the evening, Jesus gave me the subject for meditation. At the first moment, my heart was filled with fear and joy. Then I pressed myself close to His Heart, and the fear vanished; only joy remained. I felt entirely like a child of God, and the Lord said… ‘Fear nothing…Before I made the world, I loved you with the love your heart is experiencing today and, throughout the centuries, My love will never change.’”
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From the Conversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soul:
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Jesus: What joy fills My Heart when you return to Me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.
Soul: (as if awakening, asks fearfully): Is it possible that there is yet mercy for me?
Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.
Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.
Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does - that after so many efforts of My love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness…Tell Me all, My child, hide nothing from Me because My loving Heart, the Heart of Your Best Friend is listening to you." ❤️
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Jesus told St. Faustina that the priest in the confessional is but a screen for Him, so don’t fear. Jesus is merciful and loving, and He’s waiting for you to come home!

Praying for you!!!
 
Denae:

I’m praying for you to go back to the chuch. Remember the church is holy but the people within it are all sinners.

Prayerfully,

Renato
 
Don’t let fear keep you from coming back. I was away far longer than you have been and the most wonderful feeling in the world was the day I went to confession and was finally able to receive the Holy Eucharist. Don’t be afraid to face God, as you say, He has been waiting for you all along. I will keep you in my prayers so that you will know the love and peace I have felt since I returned home. God bless you.
 
Praying very hard for you. Welcome back, God loves you and has to be rejoicing at your return. Go to confession, you’ll be glad you did!
 
Denae:

Please don’t be scared! God loves you sooo much! I am praying for you to come back home and for God’s grace to bless you in this process!

Amie
 
Thank you guys so much for all your prayers. I really appreciate it. I think I’m going to go to confession as soon as I can. Then Mass. My heart is like…quivering I’m so happy and excited…
 
Will pray for you and thank God the desire to return is in your heart. Please make good confession and return to the Mass. Will only get better…
 
I’m nervous as heck though…and part of me is going “Is it really worth it…don’t bother. You’re in too deep.” So I’m nervous…
 
Don’t be nervous, and yes, it is definitely worth it. If you have any specific questions or concerns, PM me or let us all know and maybe we can help.
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen

From today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

Prayers and Intercessions

Let us raise our eyes to Christ. For his people he was born; he died; he rose from the dead. So let us put our trust in him and pray:
  • Lord, give salvation to those you redeemed with your blood.
Blessed are you, Jesus, saviour of mankind. You did not hesitate to suffer and die for us:
by your precious blood we are redeemed.
You promised to give water welling up into eternal life:
pour out your Spirit over all mankind.
You sent your disciples to preach the Good News to the nations:
help them to extend the victory of your Cross.
The sick and poor share your cross:
give them the gifts of strength and patience.

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those that trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Almighty Father, let your light soak deeply into our minds.
Stepping forward in the light of your commandments,
may we follow you always, our leader and our guide.

Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God for ever and ever.
Amen.
 
God has already seen all you have done. Now all you have to do is speak it out loud. You can do it!!! WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU!!! I’m praying for you to have more strength than ever before.
 
Denae said:
I’m nervous as heck though…and part of me is going “Is it really worth it…don’t bother. You’re in too deep.” So I’m nervous…
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Belle_10 really hit the mark with the quotes from Sr. Faustina’s diary. That is what Jesus would say.

The “Is it really worth it…don’t bother. You’re in too deep.” thoughts might be coming from another source.

I know those thoughts. Pray to have these thoughts put out of our mind.

I will pray for you.
 
Lord, let sinners come into your arms and bask in your holy mercy. Be gentle with even the greatest of sinners. Have mercy on us all. Amen.

All glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be: world without end. Amen.
 
Holy Spirit, thank You for touching Denae and drawing her back to faith and the Sacraments. Please grant her the joys of a faithful new beginning. Please fill her soul with grace and ensure that God’s will is fulfilled in her life…
 
:gopray: Father God we know You are a God of mercy and grace. We need You and Your church. May we realize that we will never be too far out of Your saving reach. Soften our friend’s heart and allow her to experience Your joy and mercy. Let Your mercy flow down in her heart like cleansing rain. Father restore her and let her know that she is loved.

May the Blessed Mother pray for us all.
 
You are in my prayer. You will come out of the Confession and be very happy. 🙂

God bless you!
 
I’m going to morning Mass tomorrow morning…I’m really excited to go…even though I cannot participate in the Eucharist because I haven’t been able to make it to confession. (I get out of work at four on saturdays and that’s the time confession ends…so I gotta schedule an appointment or something) But just to go back home I feel like I have been away for so long, but I’m finally able to go back home!!! THANK YOU so much for all of your prayers and good thoughts…I REALLY APPRECITE IT!
 
Denae said:
I’m going to morning Mass tomorrow morning…I’m really excited to go…even though I cannot participate in the Eucharist because I haven’t been able to make it to confession. (I get out of work at four on saturdays and that’s the time confession ends…so I gotta schedule an appointment or something) But just to go back home I feel like I have been away for so long, but I’m finally able to go back home!!! THANK YOU so much for all of your prayers and good thoughts…I REALLY APPRECITE IT!
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I’ll keep you in my prayers too Denae.
Welcome home!!🙂
 
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