Trying to come back

[felicity1]

Hi

Not sure if this is the correct place for this, anyway I’ll go ahead:

I am quite new here, been looking on this site quite a bit and just today decided to join. Oh and before I forget thanks for the nice welcome some member wrote.

Well I was born into a catholic family, went to catholic schools but did not really ‘practise’ cathlioc faith, our family went through the motions but that was about it, we never spoke about our faith and rarely went to church. I have now got to the stage where I have a good job where i make my own decisions and my life is starting to fall into place etc and I am thinking again about my faith. During my times as a student i tried several times to come back to the church, I would regulary attend Mass and found myself becoming closer to God, however each time it was almost like i lost interest and fell away again. I found that each time this happened I was greatly discouraged.

Again I am having these strong feelings that I need to come back, I have starting thinking about God, my faith, my life but I guess I am afraid that what has happened before (ie i give up after a while) will happen again.

Today I tried to pray for the first time in a long while, I couldnt really-i jst sat there, I don’t know what to do. I have walked past my local church a few times but can’t take the step to go in. I know I have done a lot of wrong,and of course am ashamed of that, I know I have cut God out of my life and I know that is wrong. I want to come back, I want to experience the feeling of knowing that I am close to God, I just dont know where to go from here, it;s silly to say but I dont really even know how to begin a prayer to God.

Where I now live, I don’t have any other catholic friends who I could speak to, and even if I did, I am quite a shy and nervous person when it comes to talking about things such a faith and religion.At times I think, there are so many good devout people in the church that if I walked in there I would stick out like a sore thumb! I want to make the right decisions and do the right things, I want to life a good life and I know I need God in my life in order to do so, but, I am in a way afraid and confused.

Well that’s about it, I would appreciate any advice and maybe even a prayer, I know I need some at the minute! Thanks for taking the time to read this and thank you in advance for your help. This is the first time I have felt sure enough to write down what I am thinking. Thanks again!

 

[blessedstar]

Your post is honest and beautiful.

I will give you an honest reply.

You know that the people inside the Church are no different from yourself. They too have done ‘bad things’, everyone is a sinner. Just because they go to Church doesn’t make them any better than you, no-one is any better or worse than you.

God is prompting your heart, He is calling you and He calls you because He loves you and He doesn’t love the people inside the Church any more or less than He loves you. You have every confidence to go into the Church and introduce yourself to the Priest - he will be very pleased to see you and help you any way he can .

Nothing great will probably happen to you, no fireworks will go off, you’re not guaranteed to have a rush of faith, but what you will find is peace; you will find where you belong. Faith can seem tiresome, it is really all about perseverance and yes sometimes it is even dull, but faith is a journey and one week it can be one way and another week another way; it can be another full of joy and love. It is sticking at it even when we feel like giving up. You stick at your job even when you’d rather not peel yourself off of your bed on a cold morning and go out into the raw air to just earn money to live. Well at least with faith the hard slog and the perseverance has an eternal reward.

Everyone gets stuck with prayer. The first time it happened to me I felt heart broken, I even sobbed, I couldn’t understand why when I could previously pray why suddenly heaven had seemed to shut the door to me. I decided to persevere and so I am persevering! Faith is not faith unless it perseveres in trial and suffering and in times of reprieve from the cross. I learnt not to worry if I couldn’t pray, the desire to pray even though a prayer cannot be uttered is a beautiful prayer in God’s eyes. You know that God never takes back any of His gifts, so the gift of faith once given is eternally given to you and we are called to be faithful to it no matter what.

Ask the Holy Spirit, say this, ‘Teach me how to pray’ He will not fail you and be prepared to follow Him wherever that prayer takes you. Buckle up your safety belt, it will be a great ride!

I assure you if you promise to God and yourself that no matter what happens and even how dull or hardwork it may be you will try and stay the course and ask He sends the grace that you do, then in a few years time you will look back at this and thank God.

Thank you Felicity, I’m very glad to have bumped into you on the forums.

In my prayer of life; my love to you.

 

[carol_marie]

I wanted to encourage you to go to confession. Forgiveness is such a wonderful thing. There’s nothing like pouring out all of your mistakes & sins to a Priest and hearing that you are forgiven! It will help to ease that distance you feel from God.

Other than that, go to mass - even if you don’t feel like it. Eventually you WILL feel like it - you will even look forward to it. I often think that putting God first is sort of like excercising. We know it’s important - we know we feel better when we do it but it’s hard to get back into the routine once we’re out.

I will pray for you. Oh - and I wanted to add - don’t ever feel like you aren’t “good enough” for Church. You will NOT stick out like a sore thumb - every single one of us is a work in progress. We all fall short but God loves us anyhow.

As far as having Catholic friends to talk to…now you’ve got all of us!

God Bless you,
CM

 

[maria_rose]

**

Hi

Not sure if this is the correct place for this, anyway I’ll go ahead:

I am quite new here, been looking on this site quite a bit and just today decided to join. Oh and before I forget thanks for the nice welcome some member wrote.

Well I was born into a catholic family, went to catholic schools but did not really ‘practise’ cathlioc faith, our family went through the motions but that was about it, we never spoke about our faith and rarely went to church. I have now got to the stage where I have a good job where i make my own decisions and my life is starting to fall into place etc and I am thinking again about my faith. During my times as a student i tried several times to come back to the church, I would regulary attend Mass and found myself becoming closer to God, however each time it was almost like i lost interest and fell away again. I found that each time this happened I was greatly discouraged.

Again I am having these strong feelings that I need to come back, I have starting thinking about God, my faith, my life but I guess I am afraid that what has happened before (ie i give up after a while) will happen again.

Today I tried to pray for the first time in a long while, I couldnt really-i jst sat there, I don’t know what to do. I have walked past my local church a few times but can’t take the step to go in. I know I have done a lot of wrong,and of course am ashamed of that, I know I have cut God out of my life and I know that is wrong. I want to come back, I want to experience the feeling of knowing that I am close to God, I just dont know where to go from here, it;s silly to say but I dont really even know how to begin a prayer to God.

Where I now live, I don’t have any other catholic friends who I could speak to, and even if I did, I am quite a shy and nervous person when it comes to talking about things such a faith and religion.At times I think, there are so many good devout people in the church that if I walked in there I would stick out like a sore thumb! I want to make the right decisions and do the right things, I want to life a good life and I know I need God in my life in order to do so, but, I am in a way afraid and confused.

Well that’s about it, I would appreciate any advice and maybe even a prayer, I know I need some at the minute! Thanks for taking the time to read this and thank you in advance for your help. This is the first time I have felt sure enough to write down what I am thinking. Thanks again! /QUOTE

Hi Felicity,
Whether you realize this or not, You have already overcome your shyness and taken the first step closer to God by reaching out to us here on CAF.
The reason you have these strong feelings to return to the Faith is, what I truly believe, God’s way of wanting you to come home to Him.
This happened to me over a decade ago when I was expecting my first child. I Had been away from the church for a long time and wanted to be home again and feel God’s love and grace in me and for my baby.
God loves you Felicity and his love is so big , he will forgive your sins, big or small if you truly seek him.
I know it is hard to pray if you haven’t done it for a long time.
But keep trying. Maybe go to a Catholic bookshop and get a Catholic prayer book to help with more formal prayers. for now you may want to start with simply saying"Jesus ,I trust in You!"
When I started praying again , My words were :" Lord, teach me how to pray, Help me understand what you want me to do."
Don’t be afraid to go to Church. The good devout people will be more than willing to embrace you back into the church.
I just had a thought.
When I returned to the Church, my hubby and I went through the RCIA program(Rite of Christian Initiation) just learn about our faith anew and to meet other people on the same journey. It was wonderful. We learned so much,made friends and were allowed to walk in the procession up to the altar on The Easter Vigil and renew our comittment to our faith while sitting and praying with the Candidates that were seeking admission. It changed our life forever.
I pray that you will take this wonderful enlightening journey home to Our Heavenly Father’s Church. Go and talk to a Priest at your local Catholic parish and share with him your thoughts and struggle.
Don’t worry about whether you’ll fall away again, because when you walk back into Our Father’s arms, you’ll want to stay forever.
Feel free to ask us here any questions you need answers too and we will help.
God be with you in your journey and may he bring you to the fullness of True Faith.
God love you!

 

[DrewC]

God bless you Felicity and I will be praying for you. Its not always easy but its sure worth it, and I absolutely love my faith and couldnt live without it and I suspect if you imerse yourself into the faith you will be the same way. It all starts by stopping by and seeing your priest! Peace and God bless you!

 

[Michael_Howard]

The promptings of the Holy Spirit and the fact that you are sensitive to these promptings is a very good thing. It may just take an act of the will, something like “Jesus I entrust you with my life, I entrust myself to your mercy” and allow Him to begin his work. I guarentee that if you ask him for guidance he will begin to direct you to His will. Perhaps say a decade of the rosary in the morning and just start out with simple things like this and perhaps talk with a priest. I really do think that if you begin asking Jesus to move he will respond and it’s probably not a coincidence this is happening Divine Mercy Week. One of the novenas this week for the Divine Mercy Novena is for those who have left the church and thousands possibly millions worldwide are praying this novena, it’s powerful and I bet many who have left are feeling something stirring this week

 

[puzzleannie]

Hi
Again I am having these strong feelings that I need to come back, I have starting thinking about God, my faith, my life but I guess I am afraid that what has happened before (ie i give up after a while) will happen again.

Today I tried to pray for the first time in a long while, I couldnt really-i jst sat there, I don’t know what to do. I have walked past my local church a few times but can’t take the step to go in. I know I have done a lot of wrong,and of course am ashamed of that, I know I have cut God out of my life and I know that is wrong. I want to come back, I want to experience the feeling of knowing that I am close to God, I just dont know where to go from here, it;s silly to say but I dont really even know how to begin a prayer to God.

welcome home, you are further along the road than you realize

the thoughts you are having, your response to the urge the Holy Spirit has put in your heart, and the desires for forgiveness and relationship with God ARE the prayer. You are already praying because you are stating either in your words or thoughts what you want. Just keep saying it, and consciously direct what you are saying to God.

 

[4loveofJesus]

May God’s peace, love and mercy be with you all!

Be not afraid…Our Good Lord Jesus is the One calling you and is indeed waiting for you to come back to Him, to come back home in His holy Catholic Church. What a blessing! What a great grace!

Totally open up your heart, your soul to Him and completely trust in His great love and mercy for you, as today we celebrate the awesome feast of His Divine Mercy, The Divine Mercy Sunday.

Our Good Lord Jesus has promised St. Faustina that complete forgiveness of sins and punishment will be obtained by souls on this feast of The Divine Mercy, on the following conditions:

1. Repenting of all our sins sincerely.
2. Placing our complete trust in Our Good Lord Jesus.
3. Going to confession (could be done days before the Divine Mercy Sunday). A person in a state of mortal sin cannot receive Holy Communion until Confession has been done.
4. Receiving Holy Communion on Divine Mercy Sunday.
5. Venerating the image of The Divine Mercy.
6. Doing Acts of Mercy to others through our actions, words and prayers on their behalf.
7. Celebrating the Feast of the Divine Mercy on the Sunday after Easter.

You can find the image of the Divine Mercy online if you don’t have one. Some churches have a special Divine Mercy celebration today. You can go to that one where confession is readily available otherwise just arrive earlier, at least 45 min. before the Sunday mass today and ask the priest if he can hear your confession. The priests are always gracious and are very willing to hear confessions when approached. And of course we all have to make a good confession.

This would be an awesome way to come back home to Jesus, on the feast of His Divine Mercy! Not only are your sins forgiven but your soul is washed clean by the very Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ and you get to receive Jesus, God Himself, in holy communion! Nothing truly can get better than that in this lifetime!

Entrust yourself to Our Blessed Mother, who never ceases to bring us closer to His Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ.

Always persevere and never give up no matter what, in following Christ and His holy Catholic Church and its teachings.

We are praying for you and for all! God bless!

Blessed be Jesus and Mary!

 

[felicity1]

HI

Thanks for your help, it was nice to log in today and see so much good advice and encouragement and I am happy to discover I have a place where I can find answers to some of my many questions.

As someone so perfectly described it in their reply I am feeling something stirring within,well yes for sure and it has continued, may sound silly but yesterday I blessed myself doing that simple act made me feel a sort of calmness (cant rememebr the last time I blessed myself) and I sat there for a long time thinking and after a while it hit me, I can talk to Jesus right now, then some thought came to me, well you’re not good enought to think you can talk to Him, you have done a lot of wrong.
I thought over a few things in my mind and i see the need to change. i know i need to go to confession badly but i am not ready for that right now, i know i need to think about things a bit more.I thought a lot about going to Mass today, I couldn’t go in there, I don’t know what is wrong with me!! I kept thinking things like: I won’t know where to sit: I would be out of place: maybe there would be no-one my age there: I cant jst walk in there after the way I have lived and after an ignoring God for so long etc… There is, i know a huge barrier between me God, so with that in mind is it still ok for me to come and speak with Him, how can God not be annoyed with me - I just left Him out of the last so many years, I forgot him.

Ok these are my thoughts this is maybe simple things for a lot of people, but i’m jst unsure about a lot. In a way it helps me to get my thoughts in order when I write them down. Thanks for reading and for any thoughts you may like to share with me.

 

[Michael_Howard]

HI

Thanks for your help, it was nice to log in today and see so much good advice and encouragement and I am happy to discover I have a place where I can find answers to some of my many questions.

As someone so perfectly described it in their reply I am feeling something stirring within,well yes for sure and it has continued, may sound silly but yesterday I blessed myself doing that simple act made me feel a sort of calmness (cant rememebr the last time I blessed myself) and I sat there for a long time thinking and after a while it hit me, I can talk to Jesus right now, then some thought came to me, well you’re not good enought to think you can talk to Him, you have done a lot of wrong.
I thought over a few things in my mind and i see the need to change. i know i need to go to confession badly but i am not ready for that right now, i know i need to think about things a bit more.I thought a lot about going to Mass today, I couldn’t go in there, I don’t know what is wrong with me!! I kept thinking things like: I won’t know where to sit: I would be out of place: maybe there would be no-one my age there: I cant jst walk in there after the way I have lived and after an ignoring God for so long etc… There is, i know a huge barrier between me God, so with that in mind is it still ok for me to come and speak with Him, how can God not be annoyed with me - I just left Him out of the last so many years, I forgot him.

Ok these are my thoughts this is maybe simple things for a lot of people, but i’m jst unsure about a lot. In a way it helps me to get my thoughts in order when I write them down. Thanks for reading and for any thoughts you may like to share with me.

I’m sure God is not annoyed with you, he loves you more than you can ever imagine and the depths of his mercy are bottomless, vaster than any ocean. I think it’s excellent starting with small things like crossing yourself, meditating on him. He will use these simple acts to bring you back.

Now, the blessed Mother is powerful and Jesus has given her many graces to bring us back to him. Simply ask her Felicity, she is full of power and beauty and will bring you to her Son Jesus Christ. This is one prayer that if prayed contritely things wil begin to move very quickly.

I would love to hear the testimonies of folks who have been in your position and called on the Blessed Mother. One of her titles is “Star Of The Sea”, when we are in the dark waters being thrashed around lost, unable to see this shining star suddenly ignites, we see her light and she leads us back to the strong embrace of Jesus, ask her Felicity, she will do this.

 

[Anne1964]

I returned to the Church a year ago after a very long absence and I had many of the same concerns you have written about. At first, I tried to ignore the pull to go back, but it just kept growing until it was finally stronger than my fear of doing something stupid when I returned.

I can relate to your fear of going to Mass. I found all sorts of reasons not to go and imagined various things that could go wrong. In the end, I went to a weekday Mass. I sat in the back and just watched. I didn’t get much out of it and when I left I didn’t think I would go back. Several days later I felt the push to go back again. I went to a few more weekday Masses and finally to a Sunday Mass, and I knew I was home.

When I first went back there were plenty of times where I wasn’t sure what to do. I started asking whoever was next to me in the pew, and without fail, always received help and a smile in return.

You might want to see if any Catholic churches in your area have a program for returning Catholics. I attended one of those and it was a big help.